Unreal Shadow

By Aaliah Austin

Life is not as simple as it looks. If there is happiness there will be joy, if
there is hatred there is love. Life is a see-saw that has to be balanced, going
down never means one cannot come up again. In Sanias life every fall
was a lesson and every lesson pulled her up
She was a warrior and had a thirst for love true love and true life which
in reality is very complicated. Sania like anyone wanted a normal life. She
fell, she rose, she cried she fought, she.....all for true love.
Love! Is it real; is it perfect, does it change things around you? So much to
absorb....one never knows unless one experiences it. Sania had to find the
truth and to do so she had to jump in the well as it says you never know
how deep it is unless you jump in it.
Now years later, Sania risks her marriage to uncover the truth and this
truth will change her life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jun 3, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499000016

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Copyright © 2014 by Aaliah Austin.

ISBN:                  Softcover                           978-1-4990-0000-9

                            eBook                                978-1-4990-0001-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 05/29/2014

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Dedication

TO MY LOVE

My Husband

My Daughters

Uphold the weak, be patient with all

1 Thessalonians 5:14

Let us therefore cease judging one another

Romans 14:13

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.

Ecclesiastes 7:14

Love is not resentful

1 Corinthians 13:5

I felt lost and confused, was this real, did this happen, oh man what was I thinking? My hand were sweating, eyes still and heart racing. Questions just raced my mind as the tyres touched the ground.

No this can’t be, no way the angel has turned into devil. The thought just killed me, what am I to say, what is there to explain and is there anything to explain. The worst thought was how to explain. Questions filled my mind but hey shouldn’t it be the other way around. Well these were the questions I had to have the answers to for me and… .

Customs department went well and quick too, why so fast today? Usually it takes awhile and long waiting. I was about to enter the reality, the real me. Yes my world, then what was that I left behind—a dream… a dream that was true for a few moments only?

As I walked through the gate I could not see any familiar faces so I walked up to the departures, maybe someone was there for me, maybe !!!

Soon the familiar car just parked in front of me and out stepped my husband. A tall, handsome, broad shoulders dark man stepped out with a smile. A smile I could not judge as to a genuine one or just for the sake of others around. A smile I was unable to judge for the first time in my lifespan with him, o why is everything happening for the first time now, its like I am young again and waiting for my first love, waiting for my first chat, waiting for my first night out. What the… .

The tension filled the atmosphere and we both knew it was not the same as before.

It was in the summer nights when the whole group of family went to a village house… everyone sat around in the circle, there was singing and music and boy. One of who was playing instruments. Far in a corner sat some girls that just giggled, typical for the girls to whisper amongst themselves because there was a new face in the group and of course it was a boy.

Dark hair, cute smile and fantastic voice with the sensational rhythm he touched most of the hearts present. Yeah he got to me too but it was just the way he played music and that voice gave us all Goosebumps. The way he stumped those strings every girl wished to be that string. If looks could kill alright and that silky hair as he brushed his fingers through it. The hearts of the girls just stopped.

So all the girls sat there anxiously to find out about him, maybe his age was more of the vital questions. Well that was so that we could decide who should go for it. Now it was like time has stopped, the girls couldn’t wait a second longer the anxiousness just grew and no one was concentrating on the meeting at all. No by this time I guess it was only me that really took interest in his music and the rest, don’t even ask.

After a while the programme was over and the girls who mostly were my cousins and my little sister cuddled close together so they could talk about this new boy in town. Yeah it was big taboo to talk to or about boys in our culture. The rules were simple but harsh for all of us no boys in the lifeline till your parents choose one for you. We all thought that was very strict but now I realise why that was so.

So as we giggled, guessing who he was or his name, abruptly I sensed a pair of eyes sort of x-raying me I felt uncomfortable but I was too shy to look up and spot who it was. My mind raced none of the boys in the group would dare to do that as they all knew me, I was not of that nature, then who the hell is this, gradually I figured that this is not the familiar set of eyes, o my god! Is it him! How dare? Doesn’t he know who I am?

It didn’t take long for my cousins to see that he was staring at me but why me, my cousins were more beautiful and they liked him too.

Hey look at him, STOP starting at me o man I hate that.

Firstly because I was going to a girls school and our rule for the group of ten friends was NO BOYFRIENDS. If any guys wrote us letters we used to fix their grammar and spelling mistakes and send it back. We were a bunch of friends that just wanted to have a ball in our school days no boys no heart breaks and no stress just study and fun fun fun.

Yeah our group started with twenty friends, some broke the rule and left the group but not me ah ah not for a boy I ant leaving my friends. No way, so Mr. stop! trying your luck. And here are my cousins ready to make a big thing out of a little thing. Gosh they are for ever ready to add spice in the curry and that to heaps of it.

Look at me—do I look interested—no! so drop it girls and you Mr I gave him that look that tells it all. It was my look that says stay away. Boy, he has guts, he is still staring. My blood was scorching to the max, if only I catch the chance I will tell him off. By this time I could feel my face fetching hot and red, was it anger or was I blushing I still can’t decide but it was quiet noticeable.

The giggles made it worse and the comments these girls had to say was just beyond my listening. That’s it I can’t sit here and allow this, so I moved over to face my back to him. What a relief… and slowly we started talking about the village and the cool breeze, the smell of the soil, the ducks quaking, the cows mowing and the snacks. Yeah the tea and savouries were being passed on.

A warm hand touched my shoulders; it was my friend from that town. We met once awhile as they lived about 30km away. We were close to each other to some extent, but there was a bond I guess well as far as I knew there was. She was a sweet and charming girl who had a heart as shinny and pure as gold. I always thought she was my best friend.

Suddenly through our conversation she said come I want you to meet someone. Without any hesitation I went with her to the bus in which they came. Out popped a head and it was him, I just stood there stunned what is this, the last person I want to see let alone meet him. By now he was out of the bus all excited god knows for what.

Rita took me close and said meet my cousin Dave, he is here from the other island to study electrical in the college. O I couldn’t believe my ears because if I heard it right he was going to stay here on this island for 3 years. This is not what I wanted to hear, ok calm down its not that I have to see him everyday once a month probably because of this visits yeah I can handle that.

As he forwarded his hand for a shake automatically my hand moved forward, that’s not like me no I don’t shake hands with strangers especially after all that happened. The shake went well, his hands were warm and mine were cold.

Warm heart he spoke,

Sorry what was that?

Cold hands warm heart,

So is that so then, in that case warm hands mean cold heart right.

I had to be smarter that was just me, none can beat me. He just looked at me.

He seemed to have gone miles away, maybe he thought I was a simple girl and was easy to get.

Are you ok? You seem lost…

Na I am fine thanks, so what’s your name.

Good try mate but that’s all you get my name and end of story, I am Sania

That’s a nice and unique name, never heard one like that before. Guess it suits you too.

O no!!! Wrong way man turn back was what I wanted to say but I said

Yeah but I can always be the opposite if need be. And we all laughed. Yes laughed, I laughed, I was not suppose to then why did I. What a surprise I actually laughed with a guy, no nah something is wrong, am I feeling fine. Lost in thoughts.

I heard my name; o my sister was telling me that we are going.

Ok then

Ok see you around.

I smiled at both of them and hugged my friend Rita.

Am I getting one of those too?

Good one but no, I smiled and walked away. That same feeling, I knew now that it was him again staring at me.

While I was talking to him my cousins had all the questions lined up for me… as we sat in the van everyone wanted to sit next to me so they could hear well.

The wait now was to drive out of sight and there was the questions, overflowing on me, how old is he, does he have a girlfriend, is he staying for long, what does he do, is he related.

Sush! Shut up, and then I can speak Na. All I know is that his name is Dave and he is here to study and he is related to Rita. How and does Rita like him. No you silly they are cousins, he is her uncle’s son gosh how can they like each other. It can’t be possible.

I didn’t take notice of their conversation because I was staring at the stars. It was one of the most beautiful nights of all, I just realised that.

Soon we reached home and none of us felt the 30 minutes ride, guess we all were in our thoughts, of what everyone knew accept for me.

Well times went by and say about three weeks and I had the same feeling, someone staring at me. In the church no, man no one would dare as they all knew my dad and me very well we had this deal no boys till I finish studies. But hey I feel the same stare.

I wouldn’t dare look but I sure hated that stare, I never imagined to see him in our town, guess what I was wrong it was him and to spice it more he was related to our priest and so was Rita. How could I forget that? No wonder he said see you soon.

Well, he was here to play the music, that guitar will take my heart away. Did I just say that? And as the church began, by now my cousins were at the top of the world to see him and yes they were all in the washroom fixing their hair and clothes.,

The service was good as always however the music added a good spirit in it. Now was the fellowship tea time. Because it was our tea duty we have to serve all new comers and yeh I had lots of waiters ready to serve him.

So my cousin went to serve him, because I think she was the one with most guts to approach a guy, all went well, they seemed to be having a chat and honestly I was not really into it so I just did my share of the work.

In a few minutes there was a silent in the church kitchen and straight away I knew the girls are whispering, about what, guess. Well I walked in and there was that look.

‘WHAT’ I said why that look,

‘Oh! You trying to be smart ha’ said Shayleen who sort of was the most beautiful out of us all and yeah she had the boys around her too.

Guess this one was not and that is why she was all fired up.

‘Smart about what’ I asked her for I knew what the topic was but not the real spicy lot.

I had not done anything and if they are talking about Dave it’s got nothing to do with me.

‘Don’t act as if you don’t know, you know, I know you know ‘she raised her voice

I felt uncomfortable, we never spoke this way before so why now. ‘What are you talking about’ I asked her again in a calm way.

But boy she was ready to eat me alive if given an option

At the very moment my uncle leaned into the kitchen and asked for extra cup of tea.

And yes I was saved by the bell as all say.

Well a week went by and there was no communication between my cousin and me and I just wondered why… We did not get a clean chance to talk as there were familys around. And talking about a boy, pooh that would be a taboo.

And then came Sunday, this time as I got out of my car I saw a figure walking towards us and I had the shock of my life it was him, again my mind started racing, wasn’t he studying in the other town so why is he here every week.

The sound of the guitar was amazing and it was something that rang in my ears for the whole week. The whole church was into it as that was the first time we had music in our service. As we approached the end our priest said we have a special number from someone and we thought it must be a professional singer from somewhere but ah ah. It was him Dave, he walked up an sang this most beautiful song that I just fell in love with.

However, I still could not approach him to even say your song was great, not that I was scared it was more of the pride I guess. As weeks went by we got used to the fact that he will be attending our church for good now. The main reason as we all thought was because we needed that music in our service.

But beyond our thoughts was his, he was here to serve and also for… .

Our church had lots of interest in the youths and young teenagers of our town so we used to gather every Friday to have youth groups where we played games and later worshiped the lord and studied the bible. Due to studies and lots of home works I had missed a few meetings but as a president I could not be absent for long.

I was kinda waiting for this meeting so I could ask my cousin what her problem was with me.

Well, she maintained the same attitude and would not talk to me, as for the rest of the girls they were good friends to me yet today the just was not in my favour.

The tension between us just grew and I could not handle it. During the sports time I tried to get closer to her and chat, she acted really weird and turn herself away.

My curiosity rose to the max, straight after the game I rushed into the girls room and pulled her by the arm and asked her what the hell is your problem here missi

It’s not me she screamed, its you!!!

What do you mean? I asked very firmly

O look girls, she is acting as if she has no idea ha.

Of, course I have no idea, what is this all about, we were never like this.

YES, you were never like this. She exclaimed, really had no idea what the whole issue was about.

If you explain, maybe I will know.

Well if want to hear then here it is, stay out of my way.

I don’t understand, what is this about

From now onwards I am not your friend and its up to the girls to choose who they want to be with, you or me.

Could feel the separation was no good for the youths. I wouldn’t be setting an example if I caused division.

Ok if that will pleases you, all the girls can be with you.

Wow I could sense the relief in the girl’s sighs as no one wanted to decide which way to go

Now this was for sure that we will not get in each others way.

So that left me with one great pal Jia. She was in the youth too, but because she had late shifts she used to come a bit late, round about the praise time, and yes she was matured compared to all of us as she was a bit older too.

Slowly we all washed ourselves as entered the church and set at our usual spots. Though in my mind I was still jumbling with words my faced expressed a smile. The meeting went well, everyone seemed happy and normal but I had a feeling that was not right. It was not normal, as we walked along the church to our pastor’s house to be dropped off to our various homes; I quickly briefed Jia of what happened earlier. For some reason she did not react to the situation. I was a bit stunned and I gave her that look too.

Is there something you know and I don’t. I asked her

Not really, but.

But what? I asked her again.

Jia lived in a cottage next to the pastor’s house with her mum.

And she became good friends with Dave too.

She smiled and said we will talk later as the pastor’s wife approached us to say hello’

That was it now I had to wait till Sunday to find out what was the story. The days couldn’t’t have been any slower. Finally Sunday arrived and you would not believe this, we did not get a chance to talk.

Friday was next option, and I was not going to the youth meeting.

My uncle arrived from work and said he was not well, so I had to stay back. I have been adopted by my uncle, my dad’s brother when I was in year 4. They did not have any children and they decide to adopt me. Well my parents agreed as they had four other mouths to fill. Yeah I had three brothers and a little sister too. Since I entered my uncle’s house I was totally different. It was a total break out from my family. I was their daughter in a way and not in a way. It is difficult to explain but it was like a whole set of bond broke through for me so I can make a new bond.

My uncles’ house was always a mansion, a home everyone in the village dreamed to have a peek off.

It was like he was the king of the village and I was the little princesses who had it all in everyone’s sight but didn’t’t have it at all.

It was the biggest house in the area and it was three storeys. Every thing was in its place and was very unique and expensive. In a small town we had house of three bedrooms each with an en suite and a separate lounge and huge dinning table with twelve seatings. There was a lovely balcony with flower beds on it surrounded by stairs and gardens filled with zebras and roses. The front had two garages. The first ever parked with a red Honda Prelude in its driveway. Top of the range car during them times. We had about three cars always parked in front of our house. People just dreamed of being in my place, and here I was dreaming the opposite. I always wanted a simple life.

The house was great, I loved it probably it was too big for four of us. We did have my other cousin living with my uncle so he can have a proper education. You see my uncle was rich and he helped a lot of people with finance in our town. Meaning he was famous in town, everyone knew he was a man of good heart. A Good Samaritan! Well, after few years, my cousin had finished his studies and had started work, so he decided to move back with his family. So here I was all alone.

I was happy though, I used to have hot lunches arrive at school right on time and everyone thought I was a princess. I had great friends and I loved school,

Sometimes I did feel very lonely, times when my grandma used to yell at me, she was a total opposite to my uncle or maybe I was not her favorite granddaughter, as I had a cousin too. And unfortunately she was not in very good books with my uncle. She was not a bookworm or into studies. My uncle always wanted the best, top of the range and unique, and he used to train me to achieve the top rank, telling me to reach to the heights that no one has.

Back to my grandma, we can say she was very moody and bias. There was days when I was her best friend and some days she was my worst enemy. I remember when I was in year eight doing entrance exams for high school, I wanted to get good grades so I can be in the top school, so I used to exchange past years exam papers that was given to us as sample exercises from my neighbors’ daughter, and we used to revise using each other’s work, and here was my grandmother thinking I was cheating. She came up to my school and told my head teacher that I was coping work from other girls, I was so embarrassed and I also lost my