The Spring of Life: The Debris of Life

By E.V. Perkins

Up to every heart sad broken and written with tears, the hot story of
her painful, and to the person who has the greatness of the same
in the vanity of others. Let life go as it is with all its tragedies and pains
and draw a smile on your lips, and singing a song may make you forget
the worlds which ruled by the will of the Almighty Creator to be and remain
incomplete, far cry from the concept of happiness and hope, which has
haunted mankind throughout the ages. In order to be, be with God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Dec 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9781469137971

E.V. Perkins

Iraqi writer, Dr Fahmi Muhsen Rashid. Born July 1976 in Kirkuk city, his family moved with the beginning of 1980. To the Erbil city by virtue of his father’s work and career commitments and completed his Primary and secondary school in Erbil city and then entered the Medical College of Salahadeen University – Erbil in 1994 and graduated from the Faculty of Medicine, obtained a bachelor’s degree in Medicine and general surgery in 2001, ranging career as a doctor in the year in Arbil city to the end of 2005 with the beginning of 2006, specialised in the Neurosurgery. At the beginning of 2008 he won a scholarship to study for a doctorate degree in he Neurosurgery from Germany. From 2008 to the present time still continuing his studies and work in one of the university hospitals in Germany. As well as other parts of this book, the author other works are expected to see the light soon. [e-mail]

Book preview

THE Spring

of Life

THE DEBRIS OF LIFE

. . . Beginning of birth…

. . . Then falling of human beings…

. . . Like tree leaves in autumn…

Part I. Accumulations of Life

DR FAHMI MUHSEN RASHID

Copyright © 2011 by Dr Fahmi Muhsen Rashid.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011962767

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4691-3796-4

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4691-3795-7

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4691-3797-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

0-800-644-6988

www.XlibrisPublishing.co.uk

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Contents

Introduction

1  The Great Love

2  The Pain

3  The Separation

4  Submission To The Fate

5  Bitterness Of Regret

6  The Lost Hope

7  Eternity Of Grief

8  Loss Of A Man

9  Hearts Burning

10  Female Innocence

11  Escape From Reality

12  Woman, The Light Of Life

13  Smile Of Tomorrow

14  Anger Of Years

15  Senility Of Age

16  Values Cracking

17  Pride Of Love

18  Death Of Soul

19  Unknown Conflict

20  Man’s Trial

21  Forest Of Life

22  Beauty! Crown Without Beauty

23  The Collapse Of Morals

24  Ambition Assassination

25  Fake Kindness

26  Confused Girl

27  Extinction Of Men

28  Simple Man’s Dream

29  The Defeat Of Love

30  Dark Corners

31  The Good Word

32  Looks Of Disappointment

33  The Lost Female

34  Battle Of Fate

35  Twinge Of Conscience

36  The Goal Of Life

37  The Extended Ocean

38  The Horrible Cry

39  The Horrible Silence

Conclusion Of Part I

DEDICATION

To all sad and broken hearts who write with hot tears the story of their painful life and to the man who lost the greatness of himself in the triviality of others. Let the life go as it is with all its tragedies, catastrophes, and pains. Draw a smile on your lips and sing a song that may make you forget the difficulties of life. The will of almighty Allah has determined that life shall be and remain incomplete and far away completely from the concept of happiness and hope that remained an obsession of the human being for ages… Be with Allah to be happy.

INTRODUCTION

The wheel of time is walking forward without stop. By every day it becomes quicker and more impulsive that it makes the man forget his past and hardly gives him a chance to take his breath in his present which is full of moments that might be imposed on him. The man might walk with the wheel of time as a slave waits the salvation from Allah. Thus, he forgot to think what waited for him in the future, since he lost his foresight in the matters of his life and was called a man by shape not by content. The man everyday becomes near from an end he wishes without realising its significance. His factual thinking made him senseless running after matters that disgust kind and satisfied person sick.

Stop suffering, think, decide, and hurry to go out from the shell of old views and traditions, stick out by straightness and be of assistance to your brothers. At this moment, you might know happiness or you might not know it at all!

Well, always confused, unsatisfied, and your ages shall go in an incredible speed. You see death open its arms to hug you excited and you escape from him. Whatever efforts you exert will remain failed and unsatisfied about yourself. Moreover, worry shall take you away, and you do not know its source. It shall not come into your mind that life is short. However, your life and soul will tell you trickily, ‘Your life in this world shall be long.’ But the reality of it is too short. Even you lived one thousand year, you shall be eager to live more like your first father Adam (peace may be upon him), who forgot you and you forgot him. Death surprised him and took him suddenly. After about one hundred years of his life, he could not hide that he wanted to live more. Look at good who created your body, face, and soul. You will find and discover the truth. This truth shall guide you to the path of eternity, and man has no eternity, only by his conduct and deeds.

1  

THE GREAT LOVE

One early day in spring, the sun was shining and dewdrops were still shining on tree leaves under the dull rays of the sun in a garden of a great luxury palace standing as mountain between valleys. There was a gorgeous girl, soft like a child, playing happily among the flower fields in their different colours. The girl was telling her cheerful stories to the birds and butterflies around her, unaware of all the miseries and sorrows of humanity.

At this time, a young man, in his twenties, was passing by the gate of this palace. He was on his way to his house, carrying his books and papers, coming back from school. He had peace of mind and joy in his heart, except dreaming about future to prepare for himself a new hope in a life full of success and happiness, but he was yet to realise that fate would cut him till he bled till the end of his life. This occurred when he was passing in front of this gate, since love and love only causes deep cuts.

The young man began contemplating the magnificence and beauty of this great palace and found therein a green oasis of the beautiful spring flowers. He glimpsed a shadow of a young girl and stopped suddenly. He realised that he was in front of a powerful thing he did not see before. For the first time he felt his heartbeats race faster; he approved what his eyes saw. He found himself walking inside, and he noticed that the young girl had turned to him, and she was amazed of his entry to this place. However, their eyes met, and their hearts melted. The young man smiled at the girl. She was confused and realised that she could feel a rare and unique feeling she could not bear. However, it greatly disturbed him. She threw a white flower at him and afterwards ran inside the palace, and after a few seconds, the young man went away from that place.

During the days of the beautiful spring, the girl and the young man often met each other to talk and walk among the fields of roses and the green pastures. They sang together the songs of life, of love and happiness. But the question is: Does happiness last?

The happy days of the spring passed; the happiness of the young man did not last forever, and he stopped meeting the girl. The poor girl waited for him every day but in vain. Sorrow covered the girl’s heart, and her smile disappeared from her lips. She wept bitterly. Feeling of loneliness and emptiness engulfed her. She lost interest in everything around her. She was overcome by a deep sense of sadness brought on by the absence of her lover. But the strange thing was that there was sweetness in her sorrow. A few days later, she fell ill and died.

As for the young man, he continued to live the hard exhausting life despite his broken heart. At a later stage in life, he realised the loss of his sweetheart. That girl talked to him through the quiet, gentle wind and whenever he looked at the moon in the cloudless night.

Days passed, and the young man became old very soon. His strength collapsed. He lost the desire to live. He visited the first place of meeting and found the tomb of the young girl. Written upon the tomb were the following: I am lying here and waiting for you to confirm my sincerity and loyalty to your love. The young man left the place and went towards the fields of roses and picked up a white flower. He put the flower on the tomb, saying, ‘As for me, my dear, I shall meet you there to confirm my sincerity for the tears your eyes shed and for your rejection of life, for you are not therein.’ Then he got up. Again, the spring season came, but this year it was like autumn, since happiness had died in this place forever.

2  

THE PAIN

In one of the rainy nights of winter, where heavy rains blurred our vision, a man was walking on the road with steady steps and his head towards the sky as if he challenged the heavy rain. His sight was steady and sharp as distraction and amazement appeared on him despite the difficulty of seeing. The man was walking, cutting roads, without any obstacle hindering him. Suddenly he stopped at an edge of a bridge, looked over the choppy waters, and increased his speed of walking, then started to run. I found myself coming near to him, protecting myself with my umbrella, trying to ask him what was wrong with him, but I was frightened of his reaction, as I noticed that his tears were pouring heavier than the rain sluicing down around us. He was weeping bitterly.

When I got close to him, I greeted him. Without waiting for his reply, I said to him, ‘What is wrong with you, my brother? Why are you weeping like women? You are bringing shame on men with your weeping and crying.’

The poor young man turned to me with reddish eyes and broken heart. He did not raise any objection on my curiosity as if we knew each other and as if I knew all the stories of his sad life. He was badly in need of talking to anyone to get out an immense volcano of pain and sorrow from his heart. The young man said with a sad tone, ‘She was engaged tonight. I was too late, and it was irony that I received an invitation to attend her engagement. Life always is cruel and merciless.’ He continued weeping. ‘Allah Merciful had desired to create love and affection in their hearts, but the hearts of the beloveds did not and will not meet.

‘What is the value of life when we are away from whom we love, with whom life becomes sweet, gains a wonderful colour, spring of life flourishes, and life becomes a basket of love and happiness? Tonight I sort of went mad. I lost control on myself and on my feelings. I stand up here under this rain and raise my eyes to the heavens, praying the judge of heaven to provide me with His mercy to end my life and put an end to my sufferings and pains. I always ask for simple life without any ambition or dreams. To live with the one whom I love, satisfied with little, neither antagonising anyone nor hating anyone or… Oh, this sad fate! We’re always needing to live a forced life. Damn to everyone who loves and surrenders his heart to a woman, wishing to win her love!’

We walked together all night, and he talked non-stop. The last thing I remembered of this miserable young man is his swear that he shall not fall in love from that day onwards. His wrong decision made him suffer that way.

3  

THE SEPARATION

The golden shining yellow ray of the sun began to diminish and fade to gain a purple colour purified with light red colour; the sunset of that day was the most beautiful. There was a breath of fresh air and vast areas of green land. Far away, there was a view of a group of farmers returning back to their homes after a day’s hard work in the fields. Each day, after each sunset, people saw a calm and lone girl come, wearing a red dress and carrying in her hands red roses. She looked without boring at the red sun. She did not feel good with anyone around her, and nobody dared to talk to her, since they all knew her story, the fact of her sad reality and the secret of the red colour.

The story began with the first day when this girl came to this village to work, teaching and educating the children. By chance, when she was wandering into the village alleys, she met a handsome attractive man. His appearance indicated clear seriousness. He walked with calm steps. She admired the man, and by looking at each other, there developed between them a strong bond. The man was a soldier, performing his obligatory service in a place far from the country. He had come back after a month and another to spend some days. But he did not know that his last return shall give him a new life; its happy days began with the first day of his vacation.

A few days later, the two lovers began to meet each other in the green pastures surrounding the country; their favourite times were at sunset when the red roses covered the place, making a very beautiful scene, with the red sun and the girl wearing her red dress, which was a present from her lover. Everything was in red. The man travelled for a month and came back for a week. Then he went for another month, and she waited for him with love and longing.

After a long month of the soldier’s absence, the girl spent her time in reading letters sent from her lover and counted the days for his return. In the day of returning, she counted hours and minutes, waiting for the return train that often reached the village at sunset.

Days passed by. The days of sorrow and tears returned. The war broke out. The young man had to fight day and night; this separated the lovers. The fate of the poor girl was that her lover was the first one called to the war. The girl stayed back, dreaming of the peace days and of his returning day. Months passed by, and her lover did not come. The war ended, and the day of her lover’s return was so close. Though the war was a short one, it was ferocious, as thousands of men were killed. All the soldiers in the village came back. He must be on the way to the village, and everyone is waiting for him.

The girl waited for her lover till sunset. She was shaking with longing and passion like the sunset train but in vain. Train after train passed. Sunset after sunset passed, but her lover did not appear. The girl had a fear and feeling of sorrow and bitterness. She asked herself, ‘Why is he late? He promised me that he’d come back, and he doesn’t break his promises.’ Days passed, and the sunset train did not carry her lover. Her heart was full of desperation and sorrow. Her last hope was in the first group of the returnees. She started looking at the faces but in vain. It was her last hope. Either he returned or left forever. Finally she saw his best friend, who was among the others in the field. His one eye was folded and wounded. When she saw him in this condition, she panicked and stopped in her place, but the wounded soldier got closer to her, and his good eye was filled with tears. He said to her in a sad whisper, ‘My dear miss, Allah may bless you. He was brave and died bravely. May Allah help you and give you patience.’

All the young men in the village who left for the war came back, except the girl’s lover. She realised that happy life was not for her. She said to herself, If I did not love him, he would have come back to his family. After a few days, the sunset train was carrying the wounded girl, who left the village since no one therein cared for her. Thus, love also brings separation.

4  

SUBMISSION TO THE FATE

A light wind blew towards the south, and the immigrant birds flew to the other warm places. White clouds carried light rain. A small stream ran, and on its banks there were some wilted shrubbery, on which some letters and hearts were carved. Then the winds became strong, the clouds became thick, and the rain started pouring heavily, non-stop. Along the watercourse turning to the stream, there was a semi-square rock with cracked sides.

The rock was a fixed place for a young man with a wounded heart. He sat on the rock for years, despite rain and snow in the winter. He was very alone, and nobody knew the secret behind the actions of this young man. Even his family members were puzzled about his actions. But everybody in the village remembered his repeated request years before in every house and alley about a girl he described who very beautiful. He had thought they might know her. However, everybody denied knowing her. But in his great longing and desperation, he did not leave the village to search for her outside the village; instead he was satisfied by sitting at the watercourse, where lovers and their beloveds met.

Five years ago, the young man had met a girl with a sad expression on the edge of the watercourse. The girl was stretching her legs and playing in the water. The man got close to her. They liked each other and talked for hours. Then she left and promised him to return tomorrow, but she did not for years, and that left a deep effect in his heart. This made him unable to think of any other woman except her. He resigned to his fate and made the rock his place and home. He repeated saying, ‘Either I meet her or be buried here.’

One night, when he was coming back, the sky was raining cats and dogs. He walked between the canyons and hills until he reached a small hill that reflected back a fading light. He got close slowly and saw a little hut. He came closer and knocked at the door. After a few moments, a deadbeat, weak old woman with curved back allowed him to come in. He crawled towards the fire angel in the hut. When he took breath, he felt unexplained comfort, despite the simple old furniture and contents of the old hut.

Before he asked the old woman about anything, he glimpsed at the little door from which a weak light source sneaked in. He felt a strange feeling of security and peace. He stood up without a willpower and walked. He felt like he was walking towards heaven. The old woman was surprised. He opened the door and got the most painful shock in his life. He saw a slim, wilted girl with half-open eyes lying on an old bed, pop-eyed from weakness and feebleness. However, the face still had some beauty and was pretty. When their eyes met, the man fell upon her crying. He kissed her hands and dampened it by his tears. She in turn began to cry hard, which moved his heart. The old woman was watching the two lovers, very amazed. The whole night passed like this, talking, crying, and blaming till dawn. The wound was as deep as an ocean.

The poor girl was sick with heart disease. She had a limited period of time since she spent years struggling with the fatal disease without treatment or care in a place full of wetness and sickness, besides bad food and clothes, as poverty is the father of death and illness. The man spent the little weeks left for the poor girl by visiting her and bringing her flowers and presents. He presented her before the physicians, who gave their consensus opinion that her illness was in its last phases. It was the end inevitably. Whenever he left the hut by the end of each day, he came to the rock, the place of their last meetings, to cry all night and pray to Allah to extend the life of his beloved for another day, but the inevitable end came, despite his praying.

Every dawn, with the first rays of the sun, the man walked to the valley, where there were the river, the rock, and his lover’s tomb. He sat before the tomb, thinking and remembering. He was in this condition till he died and was buried close to his beloved. He lived only for a few months after his beloved’s death. The valley still contained the tomb of them both. It was the irony of fate.

5  

BITTERNESS OF REGRET

It was evening. The moon was absent, and the sky sparkled with stars. Calmness and the croaks of frogs enlivened the pain of old memories. It brought back old memories like a dagger, because of years of bleeding hurt. There was an empty spot among luxurious high-rise buildings, studded with lamplights and decorated with large and fruitful trees. There were gardens at the front, and the high walls had metal interlocked doors. The greatness of the building from the inside and the fascinating natural beauty within which the residents lived in was magnificent to look at. In the middle of the spot, there was a nut tree with long, solid, high branches that seemed to reach the skies. Under the tree there was a mat of greenery, beginning to yellow. Every evening, a young woman sat under the tree, resting her body at the trunk of the tree. She would raise her eyes to the sky, and tears would roll down lightly from her eyes. She would sit still, like this, for hours, distraught and lost in the jungles of grief and pain. By the end of the evening, she went back to disappear in one of large luxury houses. Then she would appear the following night the same way. The green spot had become her small paradise and a place of great love, with the memories never erased inside her. While the woman appeared every night, a resident of the same place, in one of the great constructions, was watching her from a remote place. Months passed by, and he saw her every night from a window overlooking the small spot, but he had no guts to go and talk to her. The man felt that he belonged to her and her problems. He lived in a single large house and had a lot of money, but he was deprived of happiness.

Days passed by, and the young man made his first step, induced by acute curiosity and severe longing to know the secret of the sad woman. In the beginning, on the one hand, the woman feared the young man due to his guts and curiosity, but on the other hand, she was in desperate need to talk to him to pour out her sorrow of her heart. Thus, they acquainted with each other and befriended for a few evenings, before the woman disappeared forever. The woman said to him, ‘A great love united me with a very tender and kind young man. I was flying with him on a carpet of happiness, pink dreams, wonderful sunshine of joy and freedom. We were meeting in this place, where we stand now. We came from our poor region to be away from the eyes of our families and acquaintances. But after a few days, my father sold me and forced me to marry an arrogant, heartless rich man, who was looking for a beautiful young girl to buy. He was an old man, whose time and youth had passed, and there was nothing to do but sacrifice and agree in return for providing our afflicted and hungry family with money and comfort life, but there were two hearts crashed and killed in the prime of their youth and spring of life.

‘Every night and another I come here to remember our last meeting, and I shall not forget this life as long as I live when he bent down on his knees, crying like children and asking for mercy, love. In return, I was pretending to be hard and apathy and asked him to leave me alone, but in the depth of my heart, I loved the very dust under his feet. Now, I desire only to see him for at least once and for the last time. This desire has become all what I hope in my life without anything else.

‘Life is the hardest in my husband’s house, with whom I feel as if I am a piece of furniture for the house, as he gives no attention to me or to my feelings, as if I was a fish taken out from water to live in the desert when I was living in the sea of longing, tenderness, and love. So alas, I was sold for money and bought with this money nothing but pain and sorrow!’ Then the young woman went silent for a long time, wiping away her tears.

‘I was right in everything I said,’ the man said. ‘We both sold ourselves for money, looking for happiness, within which you were forced to choose, but I was the master of myself and my will when I chose to be part of a property of a rich woman. I became now a toy between her hands. I lost my manhood, my pride, and my dignity. I felt aggrieved, and my beloved, the flower of my youth, was satisfied with the simplest thing I provided her. But I sold her love and scorned her feelings. Today I see her as a miserable wife for a cheap man, and for her I may not mean less than him in her opinion. Every time she gives me a look of pain and contempt, I hope that the earth splits and buries me to disappear in front of her. I caused the loss of my life and hers. Yesterday I was rich with happiness, hope, and love of life, but today my way is dark and has no light since the light of life inside me is put out.’

6  

THE LOST HOPE

Time, years, eras, ages, and seasons went on, and the places and men changed. Between this and that, the legend of life in the revelation of beauty remained a wonderful thing, and the wheel of time going towards continuance did not end or stop, except in the event of great destruction.

In the middle of several implications of life, a group of people passed to its inevitable fate, which had been determined since the moment of their birth. The wisdom of the Creator appeared what he created and determined of the people’s matter despite their different ways of life.

A winter of a certain year was cold. The people led a miserable life of coldness. Cyclone storms had blown the small houses, scattering them in the alleys and around the neighbourhoods. The sounds of broken doors and windows were heard when the wind blew; it was now like a deserted place. Because of the calmness, even sometimes was inaudible echo of screams in strangled throats.

In one of these simple houses, a lonely woman with grey hair, despite her young age, sat alone in front of a wood fireplace, which hardly gave heat with a source of dim light installed in one of the house’s pillars. Her only daughter of ten years of age lay down in her bosom, seeking warmth in the arms of her mother. The girl closed her eyes, surrendering to calm sleep. Sooner, she felt drops of water wet her cheeks; she woke up from her nap, scared, and stared at her mother’s face. She saw her mother’s eyes bleared while she was drowning in her contemplations and imaginations; her mother didn’t even realise that her young daughter had awakened.

The woman was the daughter of a wealthy noble man. She loved a young man of honour or high rank, and she had happiness with him more than her lavish life in the palace. She decided to escape with her happiness, away from arrogance of the princes of money and the Sultanate. She did not know that life might put happiness in your hand to make you fly with boast and happiness, and then you were surprised that such happiness had turned into grains of sand flow between your fingers. In a period of time, you would see the day when your hand is free from everything, but painful memories, flowing pains, and hope for lost happiness are given to man only once, for a period of time, which the man almost does not remember its date due to the succession