To Love Is to Help

By Russ Holloman PhD

How would you like to go through life pretending you knew what love is? Although love is a familiar, often-used word, what we mean when we use it is not always clear. Obviously, I love pizza conveys a different feeling than does I love God. This book views love as an action, as something we do. It is more than an emotionit is the only human sentiment that is completely expressed in positive concern for the welfare of others. Four kinds of love are differentiated: these are eros, the language of romance; storge, family or parental love; philia, brotherly love; and agape, the love of and for God. Unfortunately, the English language uses only one word to describe all four kinds.

Two descriptive aspects of loves relation to helping have evolved. First, love involves more or less sympathy with the loved one. Second, the one who loves manifests a desire to enhance the well-being and psychological growth of the beloved.

Love has been more widely researched and written about than has helping. Love as a helping relationship has received even less attention. This book views love and helping as being synonymous. The first two chapters discuss the nature of human behavior and the purpose of our livesi.e., Gods plan for our lives. The next two chapters examine the nature of helping relationships, and the joy and benefits of helping others. Also discussed are helping in secret, helping others grieve, why we dont help others in need, and choosing our destiny.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490840888

Russ Holloman PhD

Russ Holloman received his PhD in psychology and management from the University of Washington. He has authored two books and numerous journal articles. Dr. Holloman is a certified lay speaker in the United Methodist Church. He also maintained a private practice of psychotherapy for twenty-four years.

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Copyright © 2014 Russ Holloman.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from Good News Bible.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-4087-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-4086-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-4088-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014910779

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/01/2014

Contents

Introduction

1. The Nature of Human Behavior

2. The Purpose of Life: Why We Are Here

3. Helping Relationships

4. The Joy and Benefi ts of Helping

5. Helping in Secret

6. Helping Others Grieve: A True-to-Life Scenario

7. Why We Don’t Help Others

8. Choosing Our Destiny

About the Author

In Memoriam

Lenora Strebeck Holloman

January 23, 1929–September 1, 2008

Wife and Mother

She taught us all

that love is something we do.

After the verb to love, to help is most beautiful.

—Anonymous

Introduction

Love, indeed, is a many-splendored thing, but because of the many ways we use the word and the many different meanings we attach to it, love easily becomes a many-splintered thing. It’s a word we make do double duty. Poets and songwriters have a field day with it; theologians and philosophers ponder its various meanings. We use love when adore, desire, crave, enjoy, or like would seem more appropriate. When a word can mean so many different things, it can come to mean nothing at all. Whatever the object of our love feelings, we want it in our lives, and in our altruistic better moments, we want to share it with others. Although love is a familiar part of our vocabulary, what we mean when we use the word is not always clear. Obviously, I love pizza conveys a meaning that is different from I love God.

Why humans profess such great need and desire for love has been the subject of much speculative writing. From these efforts, two descriptive aspects of love have been identified. First, love involves more or less empathy with the loved one. Second, the one who loves manifests an active desire to enhance the well-being, happiness, and psychological growth of the beloved. The empathy expressed by a lover for another implies a commitment to help the other. If love for another does not mean a commitment to help, what could it mean?

In writing or discussing the subject of love, care should be taken to describe the object of the love and the relationship between the lover and the beloved. Four different kinds of love relationships have been identified. The Greek language uses four different words to describe these love relationships. They are eros, the language of romantic love; storge, family or parental love; philia, brotherly love, and agape, the love of and for God. Unfortunately, the English language uses just one word to describe all four kinds of love.

This book will discuss the subject of love in its most eclectic sense, using the single word love and its accompanying commitment to help.

To love is to help.

CHAPTER 1

The Nature of Human Behavior

When the Son of Man (Jesus) comes as King and all the angels with Him, He will sit on His royal throne, and the people of all the nations will be gathered before Him. Then He will divide them into two groups, just as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the righteous people at His right side and the others at His left. Then the King will say to the people on his right, Come, you who are blessed by my Father! Come and possess the kingdom which has been prepared for you ever since the creation of the world. I was hungry and you fed Me, thirsty and you gave Me a drink, I was stranger and you received Me in your homes, naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of me, in prison and you visited Me. The righteous will then answer Him. When, Lord, did we ever see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You a drink? When did we ever see you a stranger and welcome you in our homes, or naked and clothe you? When did we ever see You sick or in prison and visit You? The King will reply, I tell you whenever you did this for the least important of these followers of mine, you did it for Me!

Then He will say to those on His left, "Away from Me, you who are under God’s curse! Away to the eternal fire which has been prepared for the Devil and his angels! I was hungry but you