Tortured Innocence

By Nikiforos Vourakis

Chris is a teenager drowning in his emotions. As a million questions run through his head, Chris begins to remember the events leading up to today.

In the beginning of the school year, Chris is immersed in his studies, friendships, and the uneasy feelings that have been plaguing him for a week. Chris is still perplexed as to why his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, Rachael, ended, when he has a chance encounter with his beautiful classmate, Veronica, who is dealing with her own issues. Torn between starting a new relationship and his unresolved feelings for Rachael, Chris embarks on an emotional journey to determine his true identity and find the answer to an internal conflict that has been plaguing him for a long time. But before he can move forward into his future, he must resolve his past.

In this contemporary romance, a teenager wrestling with complex feelings and wondering if he will ever find happiness with his soul mate may soon discover that even when things seem to be at their worst, there is still hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Mar 26, 2013
• ISBN: 9781475982749

Nikiforos Vourakis

Nikiforos Vourakis, is a nineteen year old author from Athens,Greece. Growing up he loved reading books and that love pushed him to start writing. He has written six books and after finishing high school he decided to chase his dream and start publishing his work. Right now he is living with his family and writing the sequel to the Tortured Innocence. He is also starting a new journey for his next book.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1:

Beginning

I look up, and it’s starting to rain. I’m walking on a pathway. I hear the raindrops splash on my head. I look up. I feel confused. I look down again. I reach a porch, and I step on it. I’m under its roof. I look at the door. I’m standing here, trying to understand what happened. I move away from the door, and I stand on the steps. I look at the sky, and raindrops fall in my eyes. I’m feeling cold and mostly afraid. I get back on the porch and try to reach for the door handle and open the door. But I freeze. My whole body is just standing there, but am I still there? Am I dead inside? All it took was a phone call—a phone call that would change my entire life. I think that I lost a part of me the moment that I heard those words. I feel … I feel helpless, and even though I want to do something I can’t. I want to cry, but tears won’t come out. I feel like I’m drowning in my own emotions. I sit on the steps, I bring my legs close to me, and I look at the road. I hear cars pass by. The smell of wet grass covers every other scent around me. I feel the water on my clothes sink deeper and reach my skin. I’m shivering. I look at my hands; they are shaking. I start to feel sleepy, and I want to close my eyes for a moment. I lie back on the floor of our porch, and I look around. I see there, in the corner, our couch. It looks really good. I want to sleep on it, but do I have the strength to stand up? I don’t want to try; it seems pointless. I feel a buzz from inside my pocket. I grab my phone; I look at it, and it’s a text. I close the text and lock the phone. I stand up, and my hands turn to fists out of rage and pain. A deep sorrow reaches my heart, and as I look down, tears come rushing out. I see them drop on the floor, little stains of water. I look at my phone, and it enrages me so much more. I want to throw it out. I want to destroy the way it makes me feel. I move my hand back, and as I’m about to throw my phone, I hesitate for a second. I start to think more clearly and realize that it’s not the phone’s fault. When I’m about to lower my hand and not throw it, it starts buzzing again. I throw it with all the strength I possess. I lean on the door, and I start punching it. I feel so disappointed and betrayed. I open the door and take off my shoes. I place them near the entrance, and I move toward my room. As I pass through the hallway, all I see is pictures. Her face everywhere. She is smiling. I pick up a photo of us; we both seem so happy in it. It warms my heart seeing us like that. I take it with me. I go up the stairs, and as I reach the upper floor I realize that I need to take a bath and try to relax a little bit.

I push the switch and the lights turn on. I feel nauseated, and I smell her everywhere. I can’t take the smell much more. I get dizzy, and I fall on the floor. I bend over the toilet, feeling a sudden urge to throw up, and so I do. I feel like a wreck. I’m finally done, I try to stand up, and I grab the sink and turn on the water. I look at it for a while, letting the sink fill a little, and then I turn it off. I put my hands in the water, and then I slowly take them out. I watch the water flow from my hands back into the sink. I’m completely out of it. I’m really tired, and I need to wake up a little. I once again put my hands in the water, and throw some on my face, hoping I will feel a little better. Water runs down my face. I pick up a towel on my left, and I wipe my face. I look up into the mirror, and I see myself. I see the image of a scared kid—crying, waiting for someone to pick him up. I get so angry that I splash some water against the mirror. I move a couple of steps back and sit on the floor, trying to get a grip and calm down. My head feels so heavy. I put my hand on my leg, and with my palm I hold my head. For a couple of minutes I sit there lost, confused, tired, and afraid. I stand up and push the shower curtain to the side. I lean over, open the tap, and slide it to hot water. I lower my head, and I hear the water flow inside the bathtub. I stand and then I slowly take off my wet clothes. I throw them around the room. I get inside the bathtub, and I feel the hot water falling on me. A million questions run through my head. I lean on the wall, because all those questions are making me feel lightheaded. I sit down and touch my head. I try to think this whole thing through while the water is warming up my body just a little bit. I’m feeling so tired and so sleepy that I put the plug in the drain and lie back, waiting for the bathtub to fill with water. My eyes are closing, and even though I need to think, I’m not able to. The bathtub is filled with water, and it’s making me feel relaxed. I will close my eyes for a little bit and then I will get back to my thinking.

CHAPTER 2

Bonds

(At the beginning of the school year)

I clear my throat.

/Christopher/What’s going on? I wonder.

I open my eyes and I’m looking at the floor. I rub them so I can see a little better and then stretch my arms a little bit. I look in front of me, and the teacher looks really mad. Then I realize I was sleeping in class.

— I’m glad you paid attention through the whole class, Chris.—

I lower my head.

/Christopher/I’m so sorry, Miss. I’m inexcusable. I’m sorry.

—I’ll let you off this time, but next time it’s by the book. —

Then the bell rings, and I’m glad, because I’m so embarrassed. But what can I do? I stand up, and as I’m walking out of class, Jade jumps in front of me with a big smile.

/Jade/Hey, Chris, why did you fall asleep in class today? Is something going on?

I let out a sigh as I look at her and I pass by her; I keep walking down the hallway. She grabs my arm and stares at me.

/Christopher/Hello to you too, Jade. I’m fine. Thanks for asking. Well, I actually don’t know why I fell asleep. I just did.

She is smiling at me, trying not to make a big deal out of this. So I should try not to look down.

/Jade/I know you fell asleep, dummy. I want to know why you did.

Another sigh comes out of me and I scratch my head for a bit, so that I can remember.

/Christopher/Let’s see. Volleyball practice ran late last night. And … and then I had this science project to work on, and my partner never showed up, so I ended up doing everything. I also studied for my history exam on Friday which I hate. Who cares what happened all those many years ago? Oh, and I’ve been having the most uneasy sleep this last week. I don’t know why, but I feel insecure. Go figure.

Jade starts giggling all of a sudden.

/Jade/Boy, they really do a number on you.

/Christopher/Excuse me, what are you talking about now?

I am about to start arguing with Jade when Allison comes from behind us.

/Allison/Hey, guys, how are you? Are you fighting again?

/Jade/We never fight, thank you. Chris loves me.

/Allison/Not right now, he doesn’t.

/Jade/What’s that supposed to mean?

Watching those two argue makes me realize that I don’t want to fight with Jade. So might as well play along.

/Jade/Despite Alli’s mean comments, I will tell you what happened today.

I’m afraid to let Jade say what happened. Every time she opens her mouth, things take a turn for the worse.

/Christopher/Let’s keep it simple now. Don’t make things sound worse.

/Jade/You know, same old same old, talking about classes, talking about boys and girls, and Chris fell asleep in class.

There we go. Now I will never hear the end of it.

/Allison/You did what?!

Alli is already getting angry, and I can see a meltdown coming.

/Christopher/Let’s not make it a big deal now, Alli, please!

/Allison/Why would you fall asleep in class and especially in Miss Johnson’s? Do you have some kind of death wish or something?

I really want to speak my mind and put Alli in her place, but I have someone else that can do it for me.

/Spencer/Alli.

/Allison/Spenc, you scared me. That was not funny. Don’t ever do that again, or at least don’t do that ever again to me. Understand?

Alli is really going to kill someone. You can see the anger burning in her eyes. Scary!

/Spencer/Ha ha ha. Alli, it wasn’t just funny; it was hilarious!

Spencer is laughing so hard that I want to hold her so that she can’t fall down. On the other hand, Jade is preparing for a fight.

/Jade/What exactly do you mean, by don’t do it, or at least don’t do it to you? Do you mean that it would be okay to do it to me? Chris, say something will ya?!

They are both looking at me, expecting some kind of answer. I have to think fast on this one.

/Christopher/Well, I think that both of you just need to relax and calm down. You both know how hard it is for Spencer, and you still don’t get it. She is trying to feel more comfortable around us, and you guys aren’t helping. I understand that you are annoyed, but still.

I turn away from them to show how disappointed I am. Suddenly I feel a hand ruining my hair, and I’m sure it’s Jeremy.

/Jeremy/Hey, shorty, Alli, Spenc, Jade, what’s up?

Jeremy is a pretty amazing kid. It’s only been a year since I met him, but I can see that he managed to become one of us quickly, and I’m really happy about that.

/Christopher/Hey, haven’t I told you to stop that, Jeremy? You really piss me off sometimes with the stuff you do, you stupid idiot.

I tap my foot and I cross my arms. I really want to punch him in the face, because this is the hundredth time I’ve told him to stop.

/Jeremy/I’ll take it under consideration, and you will have your answer in five to ten work days.

/Christopher/What!

I turn away from him.

/Christopher/At least I don’t have to take that many days to think about something.

/Jeremy/Are you implying something?

I turn around and stare at him.

/Christopher/Why would I need to imply something, when I’m telling it to your face?

/Jeremy/Oh, you are a dead man.

I see Alli rolling her eyes.

/Allison/I’m surrounded by idiots.

Suddenly Alli pushes us into an empty classroom. She picks our bags up and throws them on the floor next to the door. Then Spencer enters the class and sits on a desk by the window. She starts to look outside at the sky. I can tell something is bothering her. After her, the girls come in. Alli closes the door, and walks around me. I’m sitting on my legs, swiping the dust off me. Jade goes and sits on the teacher’s desk.

/Jade/Alli 1—Boys 0.

Alli starts tapping her foot.

/Allison/Will you guys grow up already. I’m tired of you fighting all the time.

I look up and smile at Allison while Jeremy stands up. He gives me his hand and