The Oatmeal Bath: And Other Poems That Make Kids Laugh

By Lorraine L. Hollowell

Can you imagine a snake throwing a ball or a little boy walking up high on a wall? Can you picture noses running in a race and invisible kids playing in an invisible place? In this book you will read about naughty boys, stinky smells, and unbelievable excuses for not turning in homework. You?ll discover what caused Darrick Payne to cut up in class, why Grandma June fell down the well, and what strange thing happens when you wash your hair with Real Sinclair. These funny poems and others will surely bring a smile to any kid?s face.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Feb 6, 2013
• ISBN: 9781466979253

Lorraine L. Hollowell

At a young age, Lorraine L. Hollowell often heard her father recite long story-type poems which she became very fond of. Her favorite was The Spider and the Fly by Mary B. Howitt. Mrs. Hollowell decided she would write some story-type poems of her own. The Oatmeal Bath and Other Poems that Make Kids Laugh is her first children?s poetry book. She hopes you enjoy reading it as much as she enjoyed writing it.

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© Copyright 2013 Lorraine L. Hollowell.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

isbn: 978-1-4669-7926-0 (sc)

isbn: 978-1-4669-7925-3 (e)

Trafford rev. 01/31/2013

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Table of Contents

Grandma June Wears Glasses

Tackled Peanut Butter

Save Me! I’m Hungry!

Mom’s Bad Luck

Kangarooapoo

The Scent

Danny Hugged a Porcupine

Where’s the Turkey?

Chocolate Fever

The Haircut

Grace

Saved by Apple Pie

How Can I Eat this Baked Potato?

Don’t Eat Me!

Picking on My Sister

Behave!

Tag

The Snake and the Mole

Just Plain Lazy

A Creature Took It

My Conscience is a Naughty Boy

A Fly is in the Pie

Melvin is Like a Turtle

A Passing Grade!

Always a Teacher

Are We Moving to the Mountains?

The Junkyard

Cousin Brig Almost Drowned

The Fixing Man

Bumped Toe

My Funny Bones Started Laughing

Real Sinclair

Aunt Sue Went Bowling

Invisible Letters

Bad Aim

My Neighbor, the Cat

The Runny Nose Race

Jason Steps on His Toes

Feet, You Stink!

A Tennis Shoe Nightmare

Good-bye Nails

Hopping to the Wedding

Rocker’s Locker

Blinded by Close Tight Glue

Blue-Haired Sister

My Sister and I are Opposites

Won Day I’ll Bee a Mathematishon

Mom’s Ironing

No Homework

Miss Dercy

My Teacher’s Like a Tornado

The Mosquito

The Black Cat

Don’t Signs

My Dad’s a Bona Fide Rock Hound

Chased by a Gorilla

Chased by a Pit Bull

Road Kill

Cold House

Darrick was Never Bad Until…

If I Were Principal

The Principal’s Coming!

Pencil and Eraser

My Pencil Had Control of Me

Where’s Tim?

The Oatmeal Bath

Don’t Forget the Toilet Paper

My Brother Drives a Car

Strange Drivers

My Little Train

Failed Bank Robbery

Max’s Trampoline

Mr. and Mrs. McTony

The Secret

Bud

You’re Invited to My Party

Tommy Ball Walks on the Wall

Where Invisible Creatures Play

This book is dedicated to my husband, James,

my daughter, Sharlene, my son, William Bill,

and all the children I’ve ever taught.

Grandma June Wears Glasses

Grandma%20June%20Wears%20Glasses%201.jpg

Grandma June wears glasses.

With them, she sees fine,

But without her two inch glasses on

Grandma’s nearly blind.

Today she thought she was feeding

Little Nat in his high chair,

But it wasn’t Little Nat at all.

It was Little Nat’s teddy bear.

Once she walked into a tree

In Reverence Maxwell’s yard.

Too bad she didn’t see that tree

’Cause she bumped her head real hard.

When Reverend Maxwell came outside,

She thought he was a snake.

She hit him five times on his head

With his brand new wooden rake.

She lost her glasses at the park

And couldn’t see a thing.

She caught a squirrel with a fishing rod

And barbequed a swing.

Yes, Grandma June wears glasses,

And with them, she sees swell.

Too bad she wasn’t wearing them

When she fell down the well.

Grandma%20June%20Wears%20Glasses%202.jpg

Tackled Peanut Butter

My brother began to shake his head.

He shook it up and down.

He shook that head from side to