Memoirs of a Male Chauvinist Pig: And Related Short Stories

By Steven Fazekas

This book is sure to give new meaning to the overused and often abused description of male chauvinist pig. By reading the episodes within these pages one may realize that the real victim actually is: the addict. Indeed the man who is addicted to women and sex is seldom a winner. The only way he can cure himself and find happiness is by kicking the habit. Love, marriage, divorce can sometimes be of help, but since every man is different each man needs different treatment.
True love may or may not exist and is often confused with good sex. Far from being monogamous by nature, man (and perhaps woman too) must sample the opposite gender in order to make the right selection at the end. Therefore, this book might be a mirror to the readers, its episodes and characters may resonate with many of them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481778862

Steven Fazekas

Steven Fazekas immigrated in the United States of America on 1986. Prior to coming to America, he already lived as an immigrant in Italy, Britain and South Africa. They each had good and bad to offer, but generally they all have his thanks and compliments. Nevertheless, America is the only country that made him feel at home right from the start, perhaps because in here, everyone else is an immigrant. Most came long before he had arrived, but none have more rights or duties than him.

Book preview

© 2013 Steven Fazekas. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/24/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-7887-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-7886-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013912897

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Synopsis

ALL THE GIRLS HE LOVED BEFORE

Irene

Sofia

Maria

Angie

Julia

Ibi

Danuta

Gasta

Sonia

Maureen

Eunice

Gwen

And The Others

Anna

Raquel

Carrie

Stacy

Rosana

Cindy

Marilys

Lanneth

Hermina

Felicia

Gloria

Eva

Afterword

RELATED SHORT STORIES

The Closet

The Crossing

Apartheid Encountered

Mi Casa Not Your Casa

Fatherhood

America: The Challenge

An Episode On The 79Th St Causeway

Conclusion

SYNOPSIS

Proverbial wisdom claims that the character of a man is usually judged by the company he keeps and seeks. Since women represents the finer half of humanity it is not unreasonable to state that the man who enjoys (or perhaps indulges in) women’s company can not be that bad.

Far from being a score sheet or a trophy list this book simply sets out to prove that each encounter with each woman can and will improve upon the man’s character.

Through his relationship with women of three continents the author dissects not only ‘his women’ but his own character as well.

All episodes recollected here are based on true facts, only the names of the characters been changed to safeguard the reputation of the innocents and the not so innocents.

black.jpg

All The Girls

He Loved Before

black.jpg

T he screech that woke Stephan was the unmistakable sound of a metallic object dragged across paved surfaces. It was a hesitant sound, it stopped and started repeatedly. Getting annoyed with the noise Stephan opened his eyes and searched for the culprit. It was a middle aged woman fussing and fumbling with the deckchairs in the front row of the sun deck.

Not yet 8:00 a.m. there wasn’t anyone around except Stephan and the newly arrived woman. The pool boy just started his shift. He was putting on his rubber boots in order to clean the steps of the pool at the shallow end. Having nothing else to do Stephan began to observe the woman. In her late forties or in her early fifties she appeared to be cultured and educated; not ugly nor pretty although her shortly cropped hair did her no justice. She wore an all-in-one bathing suit, black in color, in total contrast with her snow white, somewhat freckled skin. She was definitely a northerner or someone whose job confined her to the inside of an office. Indeed, she appeared to be the professional type whose career had subjugated her social life. At unease in this environment she was applying sun cream on her body with awkward movements. With a smaller than average bust and a flat behind the woman was nervously aware of her handicaps. She obviously came to the pool early in order to avoid the scrutiny of men and the pity of her fellow women.

Although not much to look at, Stephan started to take an interest in the woman; something about her was intriguing, the way she propped up her legs, the way she paired her knees together. Lounging in the back row where he always did at the weekends Stephan had only a limited view of the woman. The way the deckchairs were arranged—some flat, some upright, waiting for the hotel guests—allowed only a partial look of this woman. By reclining into a reading position the woman eventually deprived Stephan from observing her further. The only vista he was left with were the knees of the woman; bended and kept together in a parallel angle. The apex of the woman’s right knee was reminiscent of the Matterhorn in springtime, accompanied by a smaller mountain i.e. in this case by her left knee. These mountains, however were not stationery since the woman kept moving them; up and down, lower and higher, sometimes sideways, sometimes shifting them away from one another. She even crossed them for a moment by resting the right knee on top of the other.

By now Stephan’s mind had found a matching image; it had switched him back to the first woman he ever slept with. Her name was Irene who had sharp bony knees just like this woman. The thought of Irene, his first woman, prompted Stephan’s mind to catalogue some of the others. Drifting from Irene to Sofia, Stephan started to visualize one woman after another.

IRENE

Dirty blonde with sharp knees,

blue eyes and a ballerina’s body

N aturally, Irene had occupied the first place on Stephan’s list. She was the woman who took Stephan’s virginity and started him on a joyous journey. Barely eighteen and a rookie in the Hungarian Army Stephan was assigned to switchboard duty at an army barrack in Budapest. The year was 1968 with the Cold War in full swing. The Prague Spring just got extinguished by Warsaw Pact forces. Cell phones were still in a futuristic distance. The only means of communication what had existed between drafted soldiers and their loved ones were letters or weekend passes. Only officers and professional staff were allowed to use the fixed telephones which were all land lines. Hence the switchboard-operator’s position was priceless. By the virtue of his position a soldier assigned to switchboard duty had access to this treasured equipment. Despite restrictions, woman folks of all kinds had telephoned the barracks hoping to get connected to their sweethearts. Switchboard operator soldiers, among them Stephan, had skimmed off some of the women for themselves from the myriad of callers. It is a known fact that from time immemorial certain women always had fetishes for men in uniform. Hence it was not too difficult to sweet-talk these women since an overwhelming percentage of them were fascinated by soldiers.

One of these women was Irene who called the switchboard of the barrack often with a pretext of talking to her uncle who happened to be a senior officer. Irene was thirty-five when she met Stephan who by the promiscuous standards of the sixties was somewhat of a late bloomer. At age eighteen he was still a virgin, but by the time he demobilized from the army he was definitely no longer a ‘rookie’. Irene actually had relished and cherished her years of advantage, she was an excellent teacher: patient and passionate.

Since communism had ushered in equality among the sexes, Irene like most Hungarian women of the time had to work and had to contribute to the house-hold budget. She worked the night shift at an underground Metro Station—not having much to do from midnight to 5.00 a.m. Perhaps out of boredom or due to natural urges she yearned to have company, preferably a young soldier. At the underground control station where she worked her main function was to monitor an illuminated rail map and attend to occasional telephone calls. The fact that she was married with children didn’t bother her. On the contrary she felt that boredom might even interfere with her duty. Hence she had flirted with Stephan over the telephone weeks after weeks. Eventually she asked Stephan to pay her a night visit. Stephan also on night duty had arranged at the switchboard with an other soldier to cover for him. His actions—AWOL in military terms—amounted to dereliction of duty. Leaving the switchboard was an offense punishable by court marshal. His blood and his curiosity however, got the better of him and without second thought he broke military discipline. The risk taken was well rewarded by Irene who undressed him gently while whispered erotically naughty words into his ears.

Stephan’s first lesson lasted for five hours—Irene a teacher at heart was happy to share her wisdom and experience with a novice. Being a quick study and diligent student Stephan was encouraged to attend future classes. This encounter with ‘heaven’ had turned Stephan into a disciple of sex for life and after a three months course with Irene he became a straight ‘A’ student. He promised Irene never to forget her and to continue to expand the knowledge what he so happily obtained from her. Prior to his transfer to another military barrack Stephan gave Irene a farewell gift: an army hat and army underpants, that’s all she wanted in lieu of tuition expenses.

SOFIA

A buxom brunette with long legs and long fingers.

A woman with sculptured features, fine lips and

sophisticated appearance.

L ike a bee that collects nectar from many flowers, for the rest of his army time Stephan had greedily savored mostly younger women. The next notable milestone in his sex life however,