Ashes: A Quiet Armageddon

By Delores Glass

A human body can be cremated and reduced to ashes, small granules of tissue, bone and carbon when, exposed to eleven hundred degrees Fahrenheit for two to three hours in a sealed oven. How then, could four boys be laughing and rough-housing while getting ready to start work one minute, and be reduced to the same ashen residue as cremation the ne

• Language: English
• Publisher: Delores Glass Publishing
• Release date: Aug 8, 2023
• ISBN: 9781960684448

Delores Glass

Delores Glass was born Delores Geiger in Billings, Montana, on November 5, 1941. Being a kid during the war years was much different than being a kid today. It taught her to be independent, to seek the truth in everything, and never be a burden to anyone

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Delores Glass

Copyright © 2023 Delores Glass Publishing

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Who would have guessed that on this crisp December morning life as he knew it was over? It would prove to be the same for his older brother Charles, and for his father, Stanley Irwin Stein as well. Up to today Alan and Charles had been raised in a Jewish household by a religious father and a not so religious mother.

Over their eighteen-year marriage Esther Stein had pushed her husband to go to law school and become an attorney so that he could give her an upscale lifestyle with status in the community and in the synagogue, but it had never happened. Stanley Aaron Stein had stayed in the army in order to take the Criminal Justice classes he couldn’t afford in civilian life. Stanley had been an M.P. for nine years, and had attained the rank of Sergeant while getting his bachelor’s degree and supporting his family.

In their early twenties Stanley and Esther had dated casually but married in a simple civil ceremony when she thought she was pregnant. The pregnancy turned out to be a false alarm but the couple stayed together and went on to become the parents of two boys. Stanley was honorably discharged from the army when his two boys were of middle school age because he felt that their approaching high school years should not be interrupted by the uprooting and moving that military life usually required.

Once out of the military Stanley had gone immediately through the police academy and become a rookie cop in order to provide for his family.

Esther did not care where the boys went to school, all she knew was that she did not want to be married to a cop, especially just a regular policeman who was religious and had unbendable moral standards.

Esther liked the night life and had been secretly unfaithful to Stanley twice during their marriage. While Stanley was in the army she had been a regular at the N.C.O. club on base wherever they were stationed and often went there in the afternoon all by herself. She never stopped dreaming of the more glamorous life that she craved and thought of herself as being stuck in the ordinary life that she was living.

Stanley on the other hand was comfortable in military life and had liked his job as an M.P. After leaving the military he liked being a civilian cop less because he didn’t care to deal with the constant domestic disputes, or with juvenile punks and gang members, all of whom seemed to be enabled by the civilian legal system.

Aside from work Stanley was a homebody but the Stein marriage, because of the differences that existed between Esther and Stanley, was less than happy. Stanley’s life came to revolve around his job and his boys, while Esther kept chasing her fading dreams. She made Stanley’s life miserable with her constant nagging about how she wished he had become a defense attorney like Robert Shapiro or Alan Dershowitz. Esther spent the early years of their marriage harping on him for not having gone to law school while in the military because by now he could have passed the bar and they would have been on their way to fulfilling all of her dreams. She imagined herself living with prestige and social status far above that of her younger sister Evelyn, who was married to a C.P.A with his own fairly successful business. She longed to flaunt a luxurious lifestyle in front of Evelyn as well as her overly critical, judgmental mother whom she had never been able to please, but by the time her youngest son Alan was fourteen, Esther had given up being anything but a policeman’s wife and the mother of two teenage boys.

Esther had never been interested in motherhood and regardless how her youngest son Alan tried to get close to her she never warmed to him. He longed for but never gained her approval regardless how good his grades were, how neat he kept his room, or how many little presents he bought her with money he earned doing odd jobs. Esther had never bonded with either of her children, and except for providing the bare necessities their home life was devoid of warmth. Stanley did his best to fill the void for his boys by being involved in their school, sports and of course being active in the synagogue. But Stanley’s closeness with the boys only further alienated Esther, and finally, the fateful December morning arrived.

On that ordinary Saturday morning a short note had been left on the kitchen table. It was the Sabbath and the activities for the day were routine. It was a fasting day that they would spend at the Synagogue until 6:30 p.m., and then they would go to Nate’s, a popular kosher restaurant for a bite to eat. The boys were then free to meet up with friends, go to the movies, or whatever they chose to spend Saturday night doing. Curfew was midnight, and the boys rarely broke it. Charles, who was two years older than Alan, was intent on getting his drivers license, and had friends who had already reached the lofty goal so he planned on going somewhere with them in their cars.

Stanley was the first to come down stairs and find the note. Then, sitting with his elbows on the table and palms cradling his forehead he had waited for the boys to join him in the kitchen.

Alan was the first to come bounding into the kitchen adjusting his half buttoned dress shirt into the band of his almost zipped but unfastened slacks. He saw his father sitting motionless in his chair and after reading the note twice himself, he ran back upstairs to get Charles. The three sat in stunned silence with the note still propped up against the salt and pepper shakers. None of them had been prepared for the austere words that greeted them:

Dear Stanley and boys,

I’m writing this to let you know that I have been unhappy with our home situation for many years, and I am going to spend the rest of my life doing what makes me happy. I expect that you will all do the same. Don’t look for me because I will not be coming back. Good Bye, and Good Luck,

Esther

That was it. No sentimental goodbyes, no excuses or personal acknowledgements. They were facing the true Esther for the first time.

None of them knew or even suspected that Esther had begun a heated love affair with a not so ethical divorce attorney by the name of Aaron Lupensky two months previously. He had been referred to Esther when she began talking about divorcing Stanley with her single girlfriend Gloria, a thrice divorced ex-showgirl/cocktail waitress from Las Vegas. Aaron, Esther and Gloria had thereafter become fast friends and decided to head for Reno, Nevada together, in search of a new life. They each had their separate reasons for wanting a new life.

Lupensky left his business partner in the lurch to handle some sizeable debts they had accumulated in order to keep their floundering practice going but it continued to struggle. Lupensky was looking forward to being out from under the situation. He raided the fifteen-hundred-dollar petty cash fund from the office safe and suggested that Gloria and Esther put their hands on as much cash as possible as well. Gloria managed to raise twenty-seven hundred dollars, and Esther emptied the joint savings account of its eighty-six hundred. The money had been earmarked as college money for the boys, but Esther felt that her immediate need for it took priority.

Stanley was completely blindsided by Esther’s departure. He knew Esther wasn’t as invested in their family as he was, but kept hoping she would change in time. He never expected her to desert them, but his biggest hurt was seeing how her abandonment affected the boys. Charles was shocked and disappointed, but Alan was heartsick. He had longed for his mother’s love all his life and had spent his childhood trying in every way he knew how to please her. Charles had always chided him for blatantly trying to butter her up and considered him a whimp for doing so. But Charles’s attitude hadn’t deterred Alan. While she was still in the household there was always a chance that she would come to love him, but now, the knowledge that he would probably never see her again ended Alan’s childhood at the ripe old age of fifteen. The experience caused him a great deal of pain in the beginning, but it encouraged him to acquire the ability to quickly and accurately read people. This was a defense mechanism that would keep him from being fooled by anyone because Alan didn’t intend to let anyone cause him so much pain ever again.

Stanley was bewildered, but his responsibility to his sons took president over the emptiness in his life. He had always been a good and caring dad who had been a good provider. He had never been unfaithful to Esther, although women had sometimes tried to flirt with him, but he had never taken the bait. Now he was in the situation of having to accept all the domestic responsibilities as well as earn the money to provide a decent home and these two things left time for little else. Having had a kind and caring mother as a youth himself he was determined to do what he could to provide the same nurturing and security that he had known as a boy. His loving mother had died before either of his own boys were born, and he was sorry that they had missed having her as their grandmother.

Stanley hadn’t fully realized that his boys had also missed having a real mother. Esther had been cold and uncaring, relying on Stanley to handle most of the boy’s upbringing. She had done her duty by providing the bare minimum of care for her family but her concern was out of duty, not out of caring. Keeping up domestic appearances was done in order to avoid criticism, not to nurture her children. Nobody could accuse Esther of not feeding her kids well, nor could they say that she did not dress them nicely. They were always well groomed and clean. Esther made sure that the boys were spotless to outside observers, but she had no idea what her boys liked or what they wanted to wear, nor was it important to her. She picked out their clothes to suit the image she thought reflected best on her pseudo-motherhood, competing to outdo her sister in dressing the children according to the standards that their mother set.

It was all a moot point now. Esther, the one they had always called mother and never mama or mom, was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

A few weeks later Stanley received divorce papers in the mail from an attorney in Reno, and he did not contest the action. Esther voluntarily relinquished custody of the boys to Stanley, and did not ask for alimony. She did not ask for any of their meager community property, stating that the $ 8600.00 had balanced the books between them. All correspondence was handled through the attorney in Reno because Esther did not provide a personal home address. When Stanley received the final divorce decree in the mail he noticed that Esther had retained her maiden name, Gross, cutting the last tie to her husband and children. All she wanted was her freedom, and she got it.

Not long after the divorce was final Stanley met a young woman at work by the name of Beth Tennyson who had been a metropolitan police dispatcher but moved into the 911 call center. She was very kind hearted and had a real gift for being able to help people in crisis overcome their hysteria. Beth and Stanley had occasion to interact on the job at times, and they soon became friends. They began having coffee when off duty, and both laughed at the ribbing Stanley took about his Jewishness at work, especially from the Irish Catholics who were in the majority at their precinct. The ribbing was in jest and never malicious because Jewish or not, everyone admired and respected Stanley Stein for his honesty and strength of character. His reputation as a cop was impeccable because his fellow officers all knew he could be counted on, and they respected his person as well as his rank on the force.

Beth, who was neither Jewish nor the member of a mainstream Christian church was none the less a devout person. She believed in GOD and was a regular at a small Hebrew Roots Christian church that she invited Stanley to attend with her. Because the little church was invested in studying the Old Testament it began to influence Stanley and cause him to rethink his Orthodox Judaism. As the result of studying theology with others who were as religious as himself, Stanley began to see that his Judaism was more traditional and ceremonial than it was religious. Stanley however, in his heart was more religious than he was traditional. He enjoyed studying with those in Beth’s Hebrew Roots church because it embraced the Old Testament theology that Stanley was familiar with, but from a different biblical perspective.

Religion was a subject that neither Beth nor Stanley avoided because belief in GOD was a mainstay for both of them, and they had a great deal of respect for each others religious beliefs.

Beth found herself going to some Jewish functions and Stanley found himself attending many Bible studies in Beth’s Hebrew Roots church. They even attended a Passover Seder at a small Messianic Synagogue that invited the public via RSVP. By attending these various congregations Beth and Stanley both learned a great deal about the Jewish foundation of Christianity. It was a subject that deeply interested them both.

They even included Alan and Charles in their discussions on those rare occasions when the teenagers had nothing else to do. The boys had learned the Jewish religion because it was part of their father’s parenting, but they liked hearing Beth talk about this guy, Yeshua HaMashiach, the most famous Jew of them all. Neither of the boys was particularly religious however, and they both dated Christian as well as atheist girls in high school.

Everyone liked Beth, and as soon as Alan and Charles realized that she proposed no threat to the close relationship they had with their dad, both of them accepted her friendship with open arms. She provided both humor and a semblance of feminine stability within their all male household. She enjoyed cooking for them, and they enjoyed having her do so. Stanley had given up being kosher, so their meals were filled with Gentile variety.

Through that first summer they all went camping and hiking almost every weekend. Sometimes friends of the boys came along as well. When at home they hosted barbeques in the back yard and invited cops from the precinct as well as next door neighbors to join them.

Beth had not moved in with Alan and the boys, and in fact, they had not even consummated their relationship. Because both were very much invested in keeping the Commandments, they were saving the special intimate experience for the wedding that was going to take place some time in the near future. They had begun to discus what to do with Beth’s house, and should they both sell their homes and move into a new house all their own? A semblance of normal family life had begun to settle in otherwise and it was really comfortable, much more so than when Esther had been a part of it. The Stein men had all begun to adjust to life without Esther. Stanley had stopped missing her altogether.

With fall in the air the four of them started to discus how they would celebrate the coming holidays. Should they celebrate Hanukah and light candles for eight days? Should they decorate a Christmas tree in the living room? Should they send out Christmas cards or throw a party etc? The fall air was cooling and the trees were turning their brilliant fall colors.

Charles had made the varsity football team again in this his senior year of high school and they were all looking forward to attending the first home game.

The atmosphere was filled with fun and anticipation, up until that awful Halloween night when Stanley was suddenly taken away from all of them forever.

It happened so fast, and was so unexpected, that no one could get a handle on their grief. The days that followed were a haze, as the funeral finalized Stanley’s career as a cop, a father, and a potential husband. He was buried in the Jewish section of the small local cemetery with full honors. Alan, Charles, and Beth were hardly aware of the large crowd in attendance, including all the policemen in full dress uniform and members of the local media that had covered the tragic event. Somewhere underneath that sea of flowers was the dad and soul mate that they loved so much and they longed to have him back.

Neighbors had arranged a reception after the graveside service, but the three of them were too numb to be very social. Beth, none the less managed to thank everyone