Flying Free: My Life and Other Unfinished Business

By Judy Hamen

Judy Hamen was born in a hospital in South Dakota just before the start of World War II, when gas was eleven cents a gallon and the average life expectancy for a woman was sixty-five. As she grew into an energetic five-year-old, Judy had no idea that just days before her sixth birthday, she would become motherlessan event that would change the course of her life forever.

In her poignant memoir, Hamen details what it was like to grow up without a mother during a chaotic time in American history. Originally told her mother died from typhoid fever, Hamen discloses how it would not be until some twenty-five years later that she would learn the truth about her mothers death. As she shares her journey into womanhood, Hamen provides a glimpse into her unique life storymigrating to Minnesota in the 1950s, marrying at eighteen, and embarking on a diverse career that takes her from a secretarial job at a Ford dealership to Northwest Airlines, for which she trained airline mechanics in foreign countries. Included are illustrations and letters that bring her story to life and document important events.

Flying Free shares one womans unique path through life as she overcomes adversity, breaks through barriers, seeks adventure, and finds spiritual inspiration.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Abbott Press
• Release date: Aug 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781458210982

Judy Hamen

Judy Hamen, a long-time resident of the twin cities in Minnesota, is retired from Northwest Airlines. She is active in her church and enjoys colored-pencil art, making greeting cards, scrapbooking, singing, and studying the Bible. Judy and her husband, Ken, have two children and live in Inver Grove Heights, Minnesota.

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Copyright © 2013 Judith Ann Hamen.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4582-1099-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4582-1098-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013914692

Abbott Press rev. date: 8/27/2013

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Cast of Characters

Preface

Chapter 1 My Hometown

Chapter 2 1940-1949

Chapter 3 1950-1959

Chapter 4 1960-1969

Chapter 5 1970-1979

Chapter 6 1980-1989

Chapter 7 1990-1999

Chapter 8 2000-2010

Chapter 9 2010 and Beyond

Chapter 10 The Mom Book

Chapter 11 Ken’s Stories

Chapter 12 The Citizen’s Police Academy

Chapter 13 The Rest of the Story

Chapter 14 The Recipe for Flying Free

Travel and Trivia

Bibliography

List of Illustrations

1. My Mom pregnant with me (1940)

2. My Mom (1946)

3. My Mom and me

4. Judy (5) and her sister, Vicki (18 months) in 1946

5. Our brother, Eddie (born 11/15/1946)

6. My Dad’s family from left to right: Edward, Donald, Ruth, Harry, Norene, Irma, Lawrence, Maurice, Irene

7. My Dad, Harry Vern Hale

8. Dad, Judy, Vicki and Eddie (1949)

9. My Mom’s parents, Mable and Elmer Middaugh

10. Eddie, Vicki and Fluff

11. My Step-Mom, Grace

12. Judy’s graduation from Huron High School (1958)

13. Our wedding party: Marlyn Johnson, Ken, myself and Susan Johnson (April 24, 1959)

14. Our first NEW car (1961)

15. Ken’s folks, Alyce and Elvin Hamen

16. Kelly Marie Hamen (born March 30, 1968)

17. Craig Allen Hamen (born November 21, 1970)

18. Kelly (3-1/2) and Craig (8 months), August, 1971

19. Kelly liked to play the organ at an early age (August, 1971)

20. Kelly at age 4

21. Four Generation Picture: Grandma GiGi, Dad, myself and Craig. How about that hair?

22. Ken, Judy, Kelly and Craig (1972)

23. Harry Vern Hale, 1973

24. Kelly and Craig (May, 1975)

25. We got First Class!

26. My home away from home after the Republic / Northwest merger

27. Judy checking a flight at the gate (notice the Westinghouse terminal!)

28. Kelly graduated from Henry Sibley High School (1986)

29. Craig graduated from Henry Sibley High School in 1989

30. In 1996, the newest Northwest Airlines Flight Attendant—Kelly!

31. Craig at Ken’s office (notice Ken’s photos on the wall!)

32. The Great Hale Cousin Reunion of 2000

33. Our Cleopatra (Passed away from cancer on August 13, 2013)

34. Our Skoocher

35. Stampin’ in our Jammies in Denver with StampinUp!(2007)

36. Our 5⁰th Anniversary Celebration (Photograph by Dawn Glesener Photography and Design)

37. Ken’s graduation from De Smet High School (1956)

38. Ken and his brother, Gene

39. Card Making and Scrapbooking with friends Long Lake Conservation Camp, Palisades, MN.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my God, to my friends and to my family,

Ken, Kelly and Craig

Acknowledgments

I want to personally thank a few people who have helped me along the way with my book:

65098.png My daughter, Kelly Hamen, who was kind enough to proofread the whole book, even when it was 800 pages long.

65098.png My good friend, Marlene Mason, who also was a sounding board and proofreader for me. She is ‘big picture’ and I am ‘small picture’ so we make a great team. She can assess areas for me that I have trouble with such as choosing ‘keywords’ for this book.

65098.png David Yalla, a friend from Riverview Baptist Church who labored long and hard to scan my pictures in and make them the best they could be. This was way beyond my expertise.

65098.png Pastor Harold Lang who graciously proofread the last part of my book for Biblical accuracy.

65098.png Dawn Glesener (Dawn Glesener Photography and Design), a gifted photographer who contributed her talents and gifted us with a wonderful collage taken at our 50th Anniversary party. She also took the ‘author’ picture for this book.

65098.png And finally to all my friends and family who have endured my endless talking about ‘the book’ for this past three years.

Thank you all so much!

Cast of Characters

Harry Vern Hale—my Father

65098.png B: 07/15/1916 D: 11/30/1973 M: 1940 (Betty) 1957 (Grace)

Bette Marie Middaugh Hale—My Mother

65098.png B: 10/12/1923 D: 12/04/1946 M: May, 1940

Children of Harry and Bette:

1. Judith Ann Hale Hamen (Kenneth) B: 12/11/1940 M: 04/24/1959

2. Vicki Ruth Hale Shafer (Jerry) B: 05/11/1945 M: 08/03/1986

3. Edward Eugene Hale (Connie) B: 11/15/1946 M: 07/25/1970

Child of Harry and Grace:

1. Brian Hale B: 03/13/1958

Beryl ‘Ruth’ Campman Hale ‘Grandma GiGi’—paternal Grandmother

65098.png B: 03/05/1896 D: 05/06/1974 M: 04/29/1916

Edward Eugene Hale—Paternal Grandfather

65098.png B: 12/04/1881 D: 03/ /1956 M: 04/29/1916

Children of Ruth and Ed:

1. Harry Vern Hale (Betty/Grace) B: 07/15/1916 D: 11/30/1973 My Father

2. Irene Hale Garrett (Rex) B: 01/15/1918 D: no date

3. Donald Hale (Helen) B: 01/15/1920 D: no date

4. Irma Hale Jolin (Clyde): 11/26/1921 D: no date

5. Lawrence Hale (Jane) B: 1923 D: no date

6. Maurice Hale (Dorothy) B: 11/14/1926

7. Frankie Norene Hale Hurd (Jack)B:10/19/1028 D: 10/11/2006

Mable Middaugh—Maternal Grandmother

65098.png B: 05/16/1882 D: 05/26/1965

Elmer E. Middaugh—Maternal Grandfather

65098.png B: 10/26/1869 D: 04/30/1946

Children of Mable and Elmer:

1. Dorothy Ann Middaugh—no dates

2. Roy Edward Middaugh B: 04/27/1904 D: 09/26/1968

3. Herbert Eugene Middaugh B: 10/29/1905 D: 07/16/1968

4. Orra A. Middaugh Riddle B: 08/21/1907 D: 01/02/2000

5. Nellie Edna Middaugh Kasper B: 08/09/1909 D: 05/05/2004

6. Harold Wayne Middaugh B: 11/14/1919 D: 08/22/2006

7. Bette Marie Middaugh Hale: B: 10/12/1923 D: 12/04/1946 My Mother

Kenneth Ray Hamen My Husband

B: 12/29/1937 M: 04/24/1959

Judith (Judy) Ann Hamen

B: 12/11/1940 M: 04/24/1959

Children of Kenneth and Judy:

1. Kelly Marie B: 03/30/1968

2. Craig Allen B: 11/21/1970

Preface

Once upon a time there was a little girl who grew up on the prairies of South Dakota. She loved to read and even when there was no time to read, she read anyway. She read everything she could get her hands on—the Bible, the newspaper, the obituaries—anything. This instilled a quest for more knowledge in her that persists to this day.

I had no choice but to write this book if for no other reason than that I have always said, I am going to write a book someday. I am fulfilling my own prophesy. The path to arrive here was not smooth and not without surprises. How did it begin? It began in 2009 when I decided to finally scrapbook all the pictures of life. I had always known HOW to scrapbook but never had taken the time to do it before. After all, I AM a Stampin’Up! Demonstrator!! All of our pictures were in photo albums because if nothing else, I am organized. All the pictures came out of the albums and were sorted into various subjects with the final finished result being 83 albums. Some are scrapbooks and some are simply organized into photo albums. But, there are 83 of them. There is also a database. You would expect that from me. since I keep track of almost everything.

I put the albums in boxes marked for decades (40’s, 50’s, etc.). I spread all the albums and pictures and ‘stuff’ from one decade out on a table and start taking notes. I used a ten cent notebook and recorded one-liners with an approximate year. I then looked at every picture and item in that decade and made more notes. All of the one-liners were put into (you guessed it) a database to be sorted by year after which I simply started writing from the notes. The album was then placed into the next decade that it represented. And so on and so on. It was a long process but seemed very orderly to me.

Fast forward to 2013….’Flying Free’ has been completed! The book was intended to contain three subjects: Travel, Trivia and My Life Story. When I finished the first draft and sent it to my wonderful publisher, Abbott Press, I was told that it would be 800 pages long. That was not acceptable either to me OR to them so I proceeded to eliminate the Travel journals and the Trivia from the text which brought it down to virtually half the size that it originally was.

The good news is that I have a second book already written. The Travel and Trivia provided much interest to the life story but will need to be forthcoming. I am not sure when I will tackle it but you will get a chance to see it someday. I apologize for that but it is what it is.

The reason this book contains as much history as possible is this: I plan to ‘attach’ the book to my name in the archives maintained in Salt Lake City by the Mormon Church. This was suggested by them. Anyone in the future who researches our family will see the book and should be grateful to have access to it.

The learning experience from writing a book is unexplainable. You need determination to see it to the end so that you don’t give up. This has been a 3 year journey. The next book will be done in a flash, compared to this one. There are a couple of thoughts that I have about writing a book:

• The person who could write a book to please everybody fell out of the Ark and was drowned.

• Those who like to find mistakes will be happy with this book. There most likely are faults and errors for you to find.

Thank you to all who have endured listening to me all these years when I talked about ‘the book’. You have been a source of encouragement and I thank you for your patience.

Come and FLY FREE with me!

Keep watching for the future Flying Free—Travel and Trivia book!

1

My Hometown

A Brief History of Huron, South Dakota

Huron is located in the heart of eastern South Dakota where U. S. Highway 14 and S. D. Highway 37 meet. Interstate 90 is just 50 miles to the south. Huron spans 9 square miles. The average temperature is 43.4 degrees Fahrenheit but don’t be fooled. Huron has been as cold as -47 degrees in February and 112 degrees above zero in July! Huron receives an annual rainfall near 19 inches with an average snowfall of 39 inches during the winter months.

The hotel when I was growing up was located across the street from the Post Office where my Dad worked and was called the Marvin Hughitt Hotel. It turns out that Marvin Hughitt was an empire building who came to the area in 1879 and decided to establish a railroad system with the headquarters in Huron.

Huron was put on the map on September 11, 1879 when an agent for the railway company appeared at the U.S. Land Office at Springfield, Dakota Territory and filed the proper papers.

The first lots in town were sold for $50 each with the stipulation that a structure was required to be built on the lot for at least $400 within a reasonable time. The first stake on the town plat of Huron was driven at the corner of First Street and Dakota Avenue on April 29, 1880.

Many buildings were built, including several saloons. As was not uncommon in a fledgling western town, most nights one might make the acquaintance of two hospitable residents with the unlikely names of Little May and Stepladder Nell.

Railroad construction continued and a bridge was built across the James (or Jim, as we called it) River. The James River enters South Dakota 35 miles northeast of Aberdeen. In the distance from Aberdeen to Huron, the James River drops 25 feet. It flows for 71 miles to cover a straight line distance of 250 miles. Its average gradient of four inches per mile means that water going in the river at the northern border of the state does not reach the southern boundary for three weeks. For most of its total history, Huron has been dependent on the James River for its water supply.

The local newspaper was established in 1886. It was named ‘The Daily Huronite’ and also ‘The Daily Plainsman’.

Huron aspired to become the capitol of South Dakota but lost its bid in the capitol election of 1898. In anticipation of becoming the capitol, many hotels had been erected but when the bid was lost to Pierre, many of the businesses left Huron. This changed the whole course of history for Huron.

The South Dakota State Fair

Huron was awarded the State Fair after it lost its bid for capitol of South Dakota. Here are the Fair Facts:

• First state fair was in 1885 and was held from September 29 to October 2, 1885

• County fairs began in 1874

• Gate receipts for one day reached nearly $3,000 with the total coming to $7,500

• The original plan was to change the location of the fair every two years

• Subsequent fairs were held in Mitchell, Aberdeen, Sioux Falls and Yankton. This went on until 1905 when the legislature authorized the permanent location of the Fair at Huron

There were two movie theatres in town when I was growing up (the Huron Theater and the State Theater) so we actually had a choice.

Our family doctor was a family of three generations of doctors. Dr. R.A. Buchanan began his medical practice in 1919 with his father in Wessington and established his Huron practice in 1930. For two decades before Dr. R.A. Buchanan’s death in 1978, Dr. David Buchanan worked with his father and took up the family practice.

The church that I attended as a child was the First Methodist church and was located at 4th and Kansas. It held its first service on February 7, 1884 and was described as the ‘finest church building in Dakota Territory.’ It cost $6,000 to build. The 45 to 60 voice choir was directed by Mrs. William Griffith and you needed to ‘try out’ to be in this choir. I was in this choir during my high school days, singing alto. She served as director for 48 years and retired in 1985. The organist was Mrs. Frank Smith and she took over the choir when Mrs. Griffith retired.

Huron Baptist church is the church that some of my relatives attended. My Dad and Grace attended there and also Dad’s sister, Norene and her husband, Jack. This church was established in 1965 and is still located at 9th and Lincoln.

Huron College is located in Huron. This was established in 1898 and was a transplant from Pierre College which did not survive. The original building for Huron College was the old Royal Hotel, then known as the Huron Hotel. Graduation in 1966 was noteworthy because Vice-President Hubert H. Humphrey and his wife Muriel, a former Huron College student, received honorary degrees.

The first high school graduating class was in 1887 and there were 10 graduates. Many grade schools were established after that. Of the four elementary schools, I attended at least two of them…Jefferson and Wilson Schools. Notice how the schools were named after U.S. Presidents. The street names in town were mostly named after U. S. states.

There was a severe polio epidemic in 1948 which made it necessary to hold classes for the physically handicapped.

Sprague Hospital, where I was born, was built in 1915 and was located at 450 Dakota Avenue South. It was founded by Dr. Sprague and could accommodate 57 patients.

Murals on the Town—Huron, South Dakota

Using buildings as its canvas, the community of Huron tells its story through colorful murals. Outdoor murals grace the buildings depicting unique aspects of Huron’s history. New Murals are added to the collection annually. The murals present a visual history of landmarks and events in Huron’s past. Take a walk along the streets of Huron and see the City’s past come to life.

Little Town on the Prairie—De Smet, South Dakota

There is a famous landmark in the small South Dakota town of De Smet, where Ken attended school. It is called the Ingalls Homestead.

It was Laura Ingalls Wilder who lived there….Pa Ingalls set claim to this quarter section in 1880. Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote many of her Little House stories about this land. This Ingalls Homestead is featured in 1,000 Places to See Before You Die in USA & Canada. It is open Memorial Day weekend to Labor Day weekend.

2

1940-1949

1940 Prices

Average Income: 1,725.00

Life Expectancy—Male 60.8 Female 65.2

New Car: 850.00

Gallon of Gas: 0.11

New House: 3,925.00

Judy, Judy, Judy

I was born on Wednesday, December 11, 1940 at 9:45 A.M., weighing in at 6 pounds 3 ounces. The Sprague Hospital was located at 450 Dakota Avenue, not far from the current Post Office. The hospital is no longer in existence. The doctor was Dr. Saxton and the nurse’s last name was French. My Mother’s name was Betty Marie (Middaugh) Hale and my Dad’s name was Harry Vern Hale. (Sometimes, I see my Mom’s name spelled ‘Bette’).

Baby Book

There is a baby book for me with very few notations but it is in my Mom’s handwriting. It is interesting to note that my Mom’s name is spelled ‘Bette’ in here, not ‘Betty’. I see it written both ways, but mostly as ‘Betty’.

65113.png Baby’s Arrival: Wednesday, December 11, 1940

65113.png Hour: 9:45 A.M.

65113.png Weight: 6 Lb. 3 Oz

65113.png Length: 20"

65113.png Doctor: Saxon

65113.png Nurse: French

1b.JPG

My Mom pregnant with me (1940)

65113.png The name ‘Judy’ means Live today to make your dreams come true tomorrow

65113.png Parents: Harry Hale and Bette Middaugh Hale

65113.png There is a family tree showing grandparents names of Ruth Hale and Edward Hale and Mable Middaugh and Elmer Middaugh

65113.png Kicks and tried to turn over: 1-1/2 months

65113.png Holds head up alone: 1-1/2 months

65113.png Laughs out loud: 2 months

65113.png Height at 2 weeks: 21"

65113.png Height at 1 month: 21-1/2"

65113.png Height at 2 months: 23"

65113.png Weight 1 week: 6 lbs 7 oz.

65113.png Weight 2 weeks: 6 lbs 13 oz.

65113.png Weight 3 weeks: 7 lbs 4 oz.

65113.png Weight 4 weeks: 7 lbs. 7 oz.

65113.png Weight 5 weeks: 7 lbs 13 oz.

65113.png Weight 6 weeks: 8 lbs 6 oz.

65113.png Weight 7 weeks: 8 lbs 13 oz.

65113.png Weight 2 months: 9 lbs 3 oz.

65113.png Weight 9 weeks: 9 lbs 5 oz.

65113.png Weight 10 weeks: 9 lbs 10 oz.

65113.png Weight 11 weeks: 10 lbs 4 oz.

65113.png Weight 3 months: 10 lbs

65113.png First Valentines: Connie Lee Garrett and Grandmother Hale

65113.png The first Christmas: Judy’s first Christmas was quite uneventful as she was only 14 days old. She received 2 pair of lovely crocheted shoes from Mother Kasper, a pair of booties and a rattle from Grandma Hale and a pair of stockings and a rattle from Dorothy Mae Middaugh. She also received a lovely crocheted bib from Aunt Irma and Uncle Clyde (Jolin).

That is all that was in the book but it was in my Mother’s handwriting. She used a pencil for some reason. It is fading but I was able to make it out. It is interesting to note that ballpoint pens have been around since the 1800’s but were not perfected for common use until the 1940’s. I am so glad because I am a ‘pen’ freak and I LOVE my pens.

Humphrey Drug Store

Both my Mom and Dad were born and raised in Huron. One interesting fact is Huron’s connection to Hubert Humphrey. The Humphreys owned and operated the Humphrey Drug Store in Huron which is still there. It was established in 1932. Mrs. Humphrey, Hubert’s Mom, lived there much of her life until she died. During the time he was Vice President, his Mother was in the Violet Tschetter nursing home where my sister, Vicki, was a nurse’s aide. Vicki experienced firsthand the flurry of Secret Service people prior to the Vice President’s arrival. It was quite the occasion for our little town.

Hubert was an acquaintance of my Dad’s and I also know that Hubert had the nickname of ‘Pinky’. The reason for that nickname, I found out later, was that it was typical for baby boys in those days to be dressed in PINK. Who knew?

The First two Grandchildren

Another interesting fact is that my Dad’s sister, Irene was pregnant at the same time as my Mother. I am not sure if they were due at the same time or not, but I was born first and then Connie was born about 12 hours later, which put her birthday on the next day, December 12. I was the first grandchild of 29 on the Hale side and Connie was the second grandchild, but not by much. We were the first of MANY. Those must have been red letter days for Grandma and Grandpa Hale, receiving their first two grandchildren within hours of each other. I am not sure it was really fair, however, in the big scheme of things, because my Mom and Dad ‘had’ to get married and were married in May of 1940 and I was born in December of 1940. I am making an assumption there but I believe that is most likely correct. I can only imagine the ‘soap opera’ aspects of that story!! Oh, oh, the first skeleton is out of the closet!

My Mom and Dad in the early days

My Dad worked at the Post Office first as sorting mail and later as Civil Service Administrator. I have no idea where we lived when I was brought home from the hospital because we always rented places to live. They were always houses but we tended to move every couple of years. My Mom was a ‘stay at home’ Mom, as most were in those days.

Vicki was born

On May 11, 1945, my sister Vicki Ruth Hale was born. I don’t remember that at all. In fact, I only have a couple of memories of the first six years of my life which I will be sure to depart in this book. Vicki’s middle name was my Grandma Hale’s middle name also. My Grandma’s name was Beryl Ruth but she was always called ‘Ruth’.

Eddie was born

Our brother, Edward Eugene Hale, was born on November 15, 1946, the same year our Mother died. At the time of our Mom’s death on December 4, 1946, I was about one week from my sixth birthday, Vicki was 18 months old and Eddie was a little more than 2 weeks old.

Memories of my Mother

My memories from our childhood up until 1947 are scant. Here are the few things that I do remember.

I remember my Mother singing Home on the Range and Don’t Fence Me In.

I remember she had a wound on her ankle that came from getting caught in the spokes of a bicycle. My impression is that it never healed fast like it should and she was doctoring with it for a long time. Isn’t that a strange thing to remember?

I remember when my tonsils were removed when I was around five years old. At the time, we were then living in the upper story of my Mom’s parents’ home at 677 Arizona S.W. My memory is that she spread a blanket outside on the landing before you came in the door and she let me sit out there in the sun. I also remember her bringing me an ice cream malt to drink because the Doctor had said that would be soothing for the throat. Ice cream was a huge treat and something we did not always have. As for tonsils, it seemed to be the ‘in’ thing in those days to get your tonsils and adenoids removed at a young age. I am not sure what the rationale was but that was the trend. One thing about the tonsils and adenoids—the hospital put them in a bottle of some stinky formaldehyde stuff and let me take them home. They were just two little gray meatballs lying in the bottom of the bottle. I can remember parading them out for anyone who came near the house to see and would provide a narration, if anyone expressed any interest (or perhaps even if they did NOT express such an interest!) Then, as suddenly as they came onto the scene, they were just GONE one day. I have no more memory of them. I am wondering if they conveniently found a nice resting place somewhere out of my reach. I was so proud of them but I don’t imagine just everyone in the world really wanted to look at them or talk about them…anyhow, that is the tonsil story as near as I can remember it.

One other incident that I remember in the Arizona Street house is that somehow a mattress caught on fire and there was a big hole burned in the middle. I know that my Dad smoked but I am not sure about my Mom. She was quite feisty, I am told and, since it was the thing to do in those years, I would almost say that she was also a smoker. That is pure speculation on my part, however.

2b.JPG

My Mom (1946)

I cannot remember any more details about my Mother. What a shame that our brains are so full of all the experiences of life that we can’t remember all the good things that must have been done for us in our first five years of life.

Everyone who knew my Mother has always told me that I look like her. She was 6' tall and my Dad was 6'5 tall so the fact that I turned out tall is really no surprise. I am 5'11, Vicki is 5'8 and Eddie is about 6'1. The pictures of her show she was a brunette with long hair. It looks curly but it was customary in those days to get frequent permanents (usually at home, not in a shop) so I am rather sure that was the case. She was fun loving. You can tell that from the pictures of her.

She made a photo album which probably starts in the late 1930s and wrote on the black pages with white ink. I do have that album and treasure it since I have very little else from her. There is a bed jacket which is peach colored with cream colored lace. Bed jackets were worn in those days if you were in the hospital or bed ridden for some reason. There is also a footed cake plate. I did have a gold locket with a picture of her and my Dad in it which I gave to Vicki years ago because she had nothing from our Mother. Vicki misplaced the locket years ago so that is gone. I wish I had taken a picture of it but I didn’t. There also is a little pinafore (dress) that belonged to me when I was probably about 3 years old. It is cream colored with Hearts embroidered on the straps. There is also a blue and white checkered tablecloth embroidered (cross-stitched) with red stitches which I was told was made by my Mother.

3b.JPG

My Mom and me

One of the items that I have from my Dad is a wooden handmade jewelry box with a picture of a dog on the cover. He made it in school in shop class. It is made out of redwood. I also have his Classic book collection, his Earl Stanley Gardner mystery books and his Agatha Christie books. He also constructed a shadow box which I still have.

While I am on the subject of keepsakes, I will mention that I have a shamrock pin from my Grandma Hale and a rocking chair thread holder made by my Grandpa Hale.

There is another pin that deals with Grandma’s button can. Following is an article I wrote about the pin as a writing assignment (in 2011) in my ’How to Write Your Life Story’ class:

This object is a heart-shaped plaster-of-Paris heart measuring about 3 inches high and 3 inches wide. It has an inscription on the back that says ‘Hand Made by Lori from Grandma Hale’s Button Can 1996’. Above the inscription is a large pin so that the whole heart may be used as a pin. In all the years that I have had this heart, I only now realize it is a pin.

On the reverse side of the heart, there are all shapes, colors and sizes of buttons glued in a nondescript manner. There is a large filigree button that is cream color. There is a small heart button that is cream color. There are also many rose and red colored buttons of various sizes. To top off the buttons, pearls have been glued randomly on top of or in-between the buttons.

The whole array is encased in tulling, like is used in brides’ veils and gathered at the top of the heart and tied with curling ribbon. The tulling and ribbon are white.

This is a wonderful remembrance of my grandmother who raised me. We did not have much money so when any of the 29 grandchildren would gather at her house, we would say Butts, Grandma, butts and would receive her wonderful button can to dump on the carpet and play with, to our hearts’ content.

I also have an envelope containing my Mother’s wedding rings. I was given this envelope by my Dad before he died at age 57. The rings had been put in the envelope by the funeral home when she died and he had never opened them in all those years. I have since opened the envelope but the rings are paper thin and the diamond is very small but it is wonderful to have them.

After my Mother’s death in December, 1946, I remember asking my Dad if I could go to the funeral and he said No, because it was two weeks ago. That is how I know that I was not allowed to attend the funeral. I also remember Dad making oyster stew and having people over to play cards. I don’t know if that memory is before or after my Mother’s death but I think it was after she was gone. These are the only fragmented thoughts that I can remember about her death.

The time has come for me to write the story of my Mother’s death. I had always been told that she died from typhoid fever. That is what I always thought until one day, my Dad told me the truth.

4b.JPG

Judy (5) and her sister, Vicki (18 months) in 1946

(As we looked at the time our Mother died)

5a.JPG

Our brother, Eddie (born 11/15/1946)

(As he looked at the time our Mother died)

Don’t Ever Give Up Hope

She died from typhoid fever in 1946. That is what I was always told. It was not really a lie, not really.

Fast forward to 1972—my Dad was battling the ill effects from a life spent with his friend, Lucky Strikes, which were non-filtered cigarettes and probably are the reason I don’t smoke to this day. All it took was one ‘try’ at smoking those unfiltered cigarettes and that was the end of that. (Remember all the advertisements that touted LSMFT, Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco! It must have been a wing ding of a campaign for all of us to still remember the slogan.)

Ken, Kelly, Craig and I lived in Minnesota but traveled back to Huron, South Dakota as often as we could because Dad was so ill. I was 32 years old. Kelly was 5 and Craig was 2 years old. On one of the trips, Dad indicated that he wanted to discuss something with me and that I should sit down. What he was about to tell me was truly worthy of sitting down.

He said that he needed to tell me something because I was the oldest of three children and when he was gone, he wanted to make sure that someone knew the truth. This made me wonder what was coming next.

Here is what he told me: I need to talk to you about your Mother and how she died. What do you know about that?

I replied, She died from typhoid fever in the days before penicillin. I know that I was almost six years old, Vicki was 18 months old and Eddie was 2 weeks old when she died. Eddie was born on November 15, 1946 and she died on December 4, 1946. I turned 6 on December 11, 1946.

I am surprised that you never heard the truth, he continued. Everyone in town knew the truth. I was wondering if that might be the case, so I want to tell you what is weighing heavily on my mind. I am telling you because you are the oldest and it is up to you if you want to share it with your brother and sister.

Here is the rest of the story, he began, "Your mother contracted typhoid fever and was sick with it during her pregnancy with Eddie. She seemed to have gotten over the effects of typhoid fever before delivering Eddie but was told that she was a ‘carrier’ like Typhoid Mary. That meant that she no longer had the disease but that she could give it. She had been diagnosed as being a ‘carrier’ like Typhoid Mary but no longer manifested the disease in her own life. In other words, she no longer had typhoid fever; however she could give it to others that she came in contact with."

"This was either in the early days of penicillin or it was not yet known that penicillin could cure it, so when she came home from the hospital after having the baby, it was to an empty house because the doctors did not want you three children exposed to Typhoid Fever since there was no cure and many people died from it. You could catch it from sitting on a toilet seat or drinking out of a glass that the carrier had used. You three kids were at Grace and Ralph Peterson’s house, good friends of ours, even her new baby was gone."

This was devastating to her. She must have had the ‘baby blues’ but things like that were not readily diagnosed in those days. Her Mother was taking care of her and was not to leave her alone because she was so despondent. However, the telephone rang downstairs (your Mom was upstairs where we lived at the time) and Grandma went down to answer it.

"In just that small amount of time, your Mom was able to use the gas on the stove to commit suicide. I thought you knew because everyone in town knew."

Then, he said something to me that I cannot repeat to this day without choking up. The most important thing that I want you to know is that she took her life not because she didn’t love you. She did it because she did.

This was shocking to me because I had never had a clue what the true story was. I just accepted the blanket explanation that she died from typhoid fever. So, you see, it was not really a lie.

Dad also said that penicillin was used to cure people of typhoid fever the next year. She was only 24 years old when she died.

I am grateful to know the truth but the fact remains. The three of us still had to grow up Motherless. We were raised by our fraternal grandparents and our Dad. We all lived together. We did have a good life but it was different than it could have been.

Before she died, my Mom had asked my Dad’s Mom this: If something happens to me, will you take my kids?

Of course, Grandma said and she did. She was 49 and Grandpa was 64 at the time and their youngest of 7 children (Norene) was just leaving home to get married. But, as families were in those days, they never hesitated but rather stepped right up to the plate and raised us and gave us a good life.

Here is some information about Typhoid Mary. I think this knowledge might have influenced my Mother adversely. It seems that everyone knew the story in those days.

The Story of Typhoid Mary

Typhoid Mary was the most notorious carrier of typhoid fever. Her real name was Mary Mallon. In 1907, she became the first American carrier to be identified and traced. She was a cook in New York. She is closely associated with fifty-three cases and three deaths. Public health authorities told Mary to give up working as a cook. Mary quit her job but returned later under a false name. She was detained and quarantined after another typhoid outbreak. She died of pneumonia after 26 years in quarantine.

Here is more of the story:

Mary came to America from Ireland and her only way to earn a living was as a cook. She was born on September 23, 1869 in Cookstown, Ireland. She immigrated to America around the age of 15 and soon discovered that the best paying domestic position was to be a cook.

In 1906, a wealthy New York banker, Charles Henry Warren, rented a summer home in Oyster Bay, Long Island and hired Mary Mallon to be their cook. One by one, six of the eleven people in the house came down with typhoid fever.

The owners of the home feared that they would not be able to rent the property again because they did not know what was causing the illness. The common way that typhoid was spread was through water and food sources. The owners of the house hired George Soper who was a civil engineer with the directive to find out the cause of the spread of the disease.

George believed that Mary was the cause and when she heard that, she left the Warren’s about three weeks after all the trouble started. She did not understand what it meant to be labeled a carrier when she was not sick, so she did what she could to keep working.

Soper kept trying to locate her after she left the Warren’s. However, he was able to track her various positions since 1900 and found that there were typhoid outbreaks in most of the areas where she had worked. In order to check for sure, he needed both stool and blood samples from Mary. But, he needed to find her first.

He did find her in March, 1907, working for the Bowen family. He asked her for the samples that he wanted and she attacked him with a fork. He felt lucky to escape all in one piece. Soper then called in the big guns by turning the problem over to the New York City Health Department. When they called on her at her home, she was suspicious of all health officials at that time and managed to escape over a fence and was once again lost to them. She just could not understand why a perfectly healthy woman could be the cause of a sickness as severe as typhoid fever.

They searched her home and the neighbor’s home and finally found her hiding in a closet. She fought them, saying she had never even had typhoid fever so there was nothing left to do but to forcibly take her with them.

She was taken to a hospital where samples were taken and examined. The typhoid bacilli were found in her stool. She was then transferred to an isolated cottage on North Brother Island (in the East River near the Bronx).

Mary Mallon believed she was being unfairly persecuted. The authorities checked the laws on the books but the charters were written before anyone knew anything about ‘healthy carriers’ which are people who SEEM healthy but are a carrier of a disease that could infect others. These types of carriers were deemed more dangerous than those sick because they were unidentifiable. But, to many, it seemed wrong to lock up a healthy person.

In 1909, after two years in confinement, Mary sued the Health Department. She had tests done by her own doctor and they came up negative for Typhoid while all the samples tested by the Health Department came up positive. She maintained her innocence and considered it a travesty that she, an innocent woman, was being detained in such a manner.

The judge ruled in favor of the Health Department and she remained in custody and was banished back to the island with little hope of ever being released.

However, a glimmer of hope came when in 1910 when a new health commissioner decided to let Mary go free as long as she agreed never to work as a cook again. Of course, she accepted the conditions, agreeing that she was prepared to change her occupation (as a cook) and would take precautions with those she came in contact with. She was then set free.

Some believe that Mary never intended to follow her promise but she did try other positions like laundress but, because the pay was so much better, she eventually went back to working as a cook.

In 1915 (almost five years after her release) the Sloane Maternity Hospital in Manhattan suffered a typhoid fever outbreak where 25 people became ill and 2 of them actually died.

The evidence started to point at the cook, Mrs. Brown. Mrs. Brown was really Mary Mallon, working under an assumed name.

She again was detained and arrested. Public sentiment this time was very much against her since she had violated the terms of her release, thus causing pain and death to her victims. The fact that she was using an assumed name made people feel that Mallon herself KNEW she was guilty.

Mary was sent to North Brother Island to the same cottage. For 23 more years, she remained imprisoned on the island.

Mary helped around the hospital located on the island until 1932 when she suffered a severe stroke that left her paralyzed. She was placed in the hospital and remained there until her death which was not until six years later. She died on November 11, 1938.

Why does everyone remember ‘Typhoid Mary’? Maybe because she was the first carrier identified. An estimated 3,000 to 4,500 new cases of typhoid fever were reported in New York City alone. The estimate for how many of those might be carriers are 3% or somewhere between 90 and 135 new carriers a year.

The question remains, why was Mary Mallon the only healthy carrier isolated for life? Speculation centers on possible prejudice for being Irish, for being a woman, for not having a family, for having a temper and for not believing in her carrier status.

There were other carriers recorded who caused epidemics but they obeyed the Health Department and did not work where others were endangered.

This was a very sad story.

It was also sad that our Mother lost her life because of this sad story.

I would imagine that these stories were the same ones that my Mother had heard. It was not a very hopeful story about a person who is a typhoid carrier, but it certainly goes a long way to explain the WHY of her suicide. She was simply another casualty of Typhoid Mary. I am sure of it. That and the ‘baby blues’ that often accompany women after the birth of a baby is what made life unbearable for her, as well as the loss (maybe temporary, maybe not) of her own three children.

I always say to people Do not give up hope, no matter what. You never know what new discovery might be just around the corner, as evidenced by the introduction of penicillin the next year (which amounted to a cure).

Life Goes On…

After my Mother’s death, Dad, Vicki, Eddie and I moved in with my Dad’s parents, (Beryl) Ruth (she always went by ‘Ruth’) and Edward Hale. I believe our first home with them was on the corner of Utah and 3rd, across from the Square Deal grocery store. From then on, we all lived together. We did move occasionally to another house, maybe every couple of years but we were all together. We always rented houses and never owned one.

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My Dad’s family from left to right: Edward, Donald, Ruth, Harry, Norene, Irma, Lawrence, Maurice, Irene

The Good life with Grandma and Grandpa Hale

One of the first memories I have after we were all together was that Grandma was upset that we three kids had never been baptized. Being Methodist, infant baptism was part of the tradition. I don’t know if my Mom and Dad were part of any church or not. Her parents were Seventh Day Adventists and had their church services on Saturdays. I also do not know if that church baptized babies or if you were baptized later, on profession of faith in Jesus. But, I can remember being marched down to the Methodist parsonage, all three of us, and the sprinkling of water on our heads. I also remember thinking it was rather strange. But, at least Grandma could rest easy after that. She was really uptight about it. That is one of my few memories of our first days living together.

Shortly after we were all moved into the Utah house, I vividly remember sitting on a couch in the living room, next to a stove (like a potbellied stove). Grandma had placed a jar of baby beets on top of the stove to warm for Eddie. She may have neglected to loosen the lid and all of a sudden, it all burst open, glass flying and we had beets everywhere, even on the ceiling. I did not get hurt but it did get my attention!

One day, I was running in the house, which was not allowed and I soon found out why. I was going at a good clip, heading for a French Door that was closed so I put out my right arm to stop myself, missed the door frame and put my arm right through the window part of the door. There was a lot of blood and I obviously needed to get to a doctor but we did not have a car. We called my Uncle Rex who had a jewelry store downtown and he came to take me to the hospital or doctor (can’t remember which). The white towel was completely red by the time we got there. I had stitches in 2 places and have a big scar in the crook of my right arm to this day to prove it. It was strange in that when a cut is that deep, it does not really hurt or else I was in shock. But, it did not hurt. So much for running in the house!

I must only remember the traumatic parts of my childhood because one of the other stories that I remember is when Eddie was just beginning to walk, he lost his balance and ended up with his knees and hands on the furnace grate in the floor. His little hands and knees got burned by the time we could rescue him. Poor little boy!

The pictures taken at this house make us look like street urchins. I might have slacks on with a dress over it and a plaid long shirt with a scarf on my head. I supposed you dressed for the weather and to heck with fashion. At least that is the way it looked!

One other memory of that house is that we had a huge barn where we could play and we had old dresses that we could play ‘dress up’. I remember one time when we all got dressed up like that, walked downtown (a whole 2 blocks) to the bank and rode up and down the elevator. I can’t imagine what our troop looked like coming down the street. I also don’t remember getting told to get out but it was a different era and I don’t think anyone paid much attention to that little band of harmless kids on the elevator.

We always had a wonderful life with Grandma and Grandpa. Since I was the oldest grandchild, many babies were born in the next years, all my cousins. We got together a lot to play. I consider it a wonderful privilege that all of them that lived near would come to Grandma and Grandpa’s whenever they could (every Holiday and special occasion, for sure and many other times in between). Most of my Dad’s siblings lived nearby. Don and Lawrence were career Army Master Sergeants so they never lived in Huron. Otherwise, Norene and Jack lived over on Utah in Huron and also had a farm at one point. Maurice and Dorothy lived in Mitchell which was only 50 miles away. (Dorothy was originally from De Smet—the same as Ken). Irma and Clyde lived in Miller which was also not far away. Irene and Rex lived in Huron over on Illinois so they were really close. That accounts for my Dad’s seven siblings.

All of the grandchildren would come to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and say, Butts, Grandma, Butts. What we were waiting for was Grandma’s wonderful button can. We would empty the can on the floor and arrange them by color, by size, use them for money when we played, many things. I don’t even remember having many toys as a child. Maybe, we didn’t. We were not poor but certainly not rich.

None of my Mother’s seven siblings lived around us except for Harold, who was not married and lived with his Mom. He was a great comfort to her because his Dad had passed away earlier in the year. Many of these Middaugh relatives were out in the Portland, Oregon area. I met many of them when they would come to visit their parents in Huron but never lived near any of them.

My Dad, Harry Hale

I am not sure if Dad started drinking before or after my Mother’s death. But, he was an alcoholic the whole time we were growing up. He mixed Bourbon or Whiskey with coke which in those days came in green glass bottles. His drinking was done at home and we kids were thrilled to be able to drink off the top of his coke so he could fit the whiskey in it. Kids don’t get real philosophical about situations like that. He was a very good Dad. He was a very intelligent, kind man. I don’t remember him ever raising his voice to us or disciplining us. He pretty much left that up to Grandma. He always was a good provider and held his job at the Post Office. He also took a part time position at Myers Cigar Store doing bookkeeping. I suspect he might have been paid in liquor but I do not have direct knowledge that that was the case. He started as a person sorting mail at the Post Office and worked up to the position he held at retirement which was Civil Service Administrator. He gave the tests to people to qualify (or disqualify) them for civil service ratings. I took all the tests at one point in my life and got a rating. I don’t recall ever using it to qualify for a job.

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My Dad, Harry Vern Hale

I was told the story of how my Dad had attended college to be a bookkeeper after he graduated from high school and they sent him home after about six months, saying, We can’t teach you anything. You already know it all. He was a highly intelligent person. I always knew that, but that just proves it. I am thinking that my organizational skills came directly from him. He had beautiful handwriting. He had many stamp albums for a hobby and they are extremely well organized. A man after my own heart—organized! It is strange also that he and I have almost identical handwriting. He had wonderful handwriting for a guy. I notice one difference, however, in our handwriting. We write our small ‘r’ differently. When he writes his name ‘Harry’ you really notice it. That’s a bit of trivia that probably no one cares to know….Ha!

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Dad, Judy, Vicki and Eddie (1949)

He was an umpire for softball games in the area. We used to go to the games to watch him ‘ump’. Those were fun times. Lots of times, we all went on picnics together, too. It was wonderful growing up in Huron. It was so safe. You could go out at night and play with the neighbors until after dark and no one worried where you were or what you were doing. No one ever locked their car or their house….and I don’t remember a murder ever being committed.

He did not quit drinking until he was 47, ten years before he died….more about that when I write about the 70’s. He died in 1973. Once he quit drinking, he became a beacon for other people who were also trying to quit.

Question for Heaven

I have a few questions for when I get to heaven. I am hoping for my Mom to be there but otherwise Jesus will know the answer for sure. Here is one of the questions: Did I wet the bed before my Mother died or did I start to wet the bed when she died? This lasted for me until I was 12 years old. It was hard because I could not easily stay overnight with friends. Once when I was around 12, I was invited to stay overnight with my friend across the street, Helen Knabe. I am sure her Mom knew about my problem but she just told me to come on over and stay and not worry about it. That was such a nice attitude for such a touchy subject. I never forgot that. The Knabe’s moved to San Jose, California when we were 12 and I have not seen Helen since. However, we still write letters to each other every Christmas and it has been wonderful keeping up with her and her life. We have been writing letters without seeing each other for 60 years. Maybe that is some kind of record!

More Memories of my Mom

My Mom grew up in the Seventh Day Adventist church. Her parents were very serious church goers and I am almost sure she would have been in church a lot. I went to many church meetings and tent revival meetings with my Grandma Middaugh and their doctrine was bible based so the message did get out. I can only pray that my Mom was ‘saved’. I know that she ‘had’ to get married because she was expecting ‘me’. They got married in May and I was born in December. I have no idea if I was taken to church or not during my first six years of life but I know that changed when both of my Grandma’s got ahold of us after 1946. Between the two of them, we were in church a lot.

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My Mom’s parents, Mable and Elmer Middaugh

Grandma Hale made sure we got to everything at the Methodist Church and Grandma Middaugh took me many Saturdays to her church service. Seventh Day Adventists live up to their name and worship on Saturday instead of Sunday. The Lord may not care a whole lot about which day you choose for your formal worship but only cares that you actually WORSHIP him. We were released from much of the legalism of religion with the appearance on the scene of Jesus. He was and still is pivotal in the whole scheme of things.

The Scary Movie

Whenever the three of us wanted to go to a movie, Dad would give us 51 cents and that provided entry to the movie (12 cents each and 5 cents each for a treat.) Most of the treats for sale were a nickel and we sure looked forward to that treat. My favorite was called ‘Trix’ and was exactly like what we now know as ‘Good and Plenty!’. We even had a choice of theatres since there were TWO in Huron. Who would think? I remember one time, we saw ‘The Creature from the Black Lagoon’ and it was DARK out when we got out of the theatre and we still needed to walk home. Some of the shadows looked especially menacing after that spooky movie. We were a glad little trio when we saw the lights of home!

My Collections

One of my childhood collections was my beautiful ‘Storybook Dolls’. They were similar to Barbie dolls now, with beautiful dresses and hair. They came in boxes with a plastic ‘window’ where you could see the doll without taking it out. I had several shelves in my bedroom with them out of the boxes, on display. I never did play with dolls so they were all like brand new. I wish I still had them since they would be valuable today as antiques. I don’t even know what happened to them. Since we moved every couple of years, I think Grandma cleaned out things instead of moving everything. I used to also have many books. I have always loved books. My favorite was Little Women and I can still remember the cover of it. It was cream and brown with pictures on the front. None of my books survived. There was one set of books belonging to my Dad which are Classics which I did convince Grandma to let me keep. They were already out in a garage sale when I rescued them at the last minute. They are in my library today. My Dad was an avid reader and belonged to several book clubs. He also had some Agatha Christie books and Earl Stanley Gardner mysteries that I kept. Now, they are a reminder of him for me.

Vicki