Secrets

By Elizabeth Hilbun Rigdon

Tess Roberts is horrified. The secret that she has guarded so carefully is out. How can she ever forgive herself? How can she ever accept that God forgives her?

Nathan Grant is relieved. He has wanted to be open about the secret for many years; however, he didnt bargain on how the truth would affect him so drastically.

Brad Roberts is devastated. The two people he loves the most have betrayed him. How will he reconcile this secret and their love?

Three families are left to pick up the pieces of their lives. As they cope with the results of this secret, they learn that Gods grace is sufficient for any situation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 7, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449770983

Elizabeth Hilbun Rigdon

Elizabeth Hilbun Rigdon has been an educator for thirty-eight years, specifically an English teacher who has a passion for writing. She has published one non-fiction book, Never a Day Off, and several devotionals for various denominations. Her two children and a friend have encouraged her to submit her first attempt at fiction. She resides in northeast Louisiana where she is principal of a Christian school and active in her community and church.

Book preview

Chapter 1

T ess Roberts sat rigidly, gripping her hands to keep from covering her ears. Be sure your sins will find you out echoed through her head, a reminder of the days she had spent in her parents’ household. She shook her head. Somehow she hadn’t thought it would be so public. She felt guilt and shame wash over her just as it had hundreds of times during the past twenty-five years. She sighed. Not only did she feel guilty; she felt cheap, exposed. How many times had she feared that her indiscretion would be revealed? Hundreds, thousands—she couldn’t keep track. She knew she couldn’t ask God to spare her. She had done wrong, and now she was paying—big time. She glanced around the room. Her daughter Katie caught her eye and looked away quickly. Tess forgave her for being angry with her. Katie should be calling her a hypocrite for the years of moral training that she had instilled in her daughter and son—training that was now revealed as being as trivial as the old saying, Do as I say, not as I do. Her eyes touched on Nathan Grant’s three daughters. Their backs were to her as they whispered quietly. Tess wondered what they were saying. She had never met them before. They probably despised her as much as she despised herself at this point. She sighed. There was no way she could change anything. She got up and walked to the window to look out over the New Orleans horizon.

Nathan followed and stood beside her, his hands in his pockets. How are you holding up?

She answered in a broken voice. I feel so humiliated—and guilty that Brad has heard his dad’s version of this story. She looked at Nathan. I’m scared. My son is missing. They both stared out the window. And I am angry. I am so angry at myself. I should have listened to you. I should have told him.

You didn’t know something like this would happen.

Oh, yes, I have dreaded this day all my life.

I should have insisted that you tell him.

"You did, Nathan. I am the one who refused to listen. I am the one who lived in a fool’s paradise. It’s all my fault."

He circled around her and placed his hands on her shoulders. No, Tess, we are in this together.

She looked at him, and the depth of her sadness reflected in her eyes. You tried; I wouldn’t listen. Lies … my whole life is built on lies.

He caught her hand in his. Don’t do this to yourself. We will straighten this mess out.

She inhaled deeply. How? How are we supposed to straighten this mess out?

We will tell the truth.

The truth has already been told. At this point, I am more concerned with how I can ever regain the respect of my son again. She paused. And of my family and friends. She looked around the room at Nathan’s three daughters, her Katie, and Katie’s husband Joey. And besides that, will they forgive us?

He leaned against the wall. In time—they will in time.

I don’t know. Your daughters do not know me at all. I am just a terrible disruption and embarrassment in their lives. And Katie—she is furious. She feels that I could have made Brad’s childhood a lot better with the truth.

Tess, you act like you are the only person involved in this. I am just as involved as you are.

She covered her mouth with her hands. But it is different for me.

Different? How?

She thought for a moment. "I guess it’s different because I chose not to tell the truth."

You are not thinking clearly. Tess, we both made mistakes. We can’t go backwards. We have to figure how to make the best of this and go on.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. And how do we plan to do that?"

Nathan hesitated. "We figure it out."

The door opened, and both looked as the coach of the New Orleans Gators walked through the door. We need to leave for the news conference.

Tess shuddered. I can’t do this. I cannot humiliate myself more than I have already been humiliated. And besides that, it is none of their business what my life is about. My son is hiding, and I just don’t feel like I owe them anything.

Lee Ramsey walked over to where Nathan and Tess stood. Tess, I have found that news dies down much more quickly if a person hits it head on. Tomorrow, it is old news.

Lee, this is more than news. This is my son.

Nathan motioned to the family members and Brad’s coach. You all go on. Let me talk to Tess just a minute. As the door closed, he turned to Tess, You …

I know, I know. I am not handling this very well. It’s just … just … Her voice cracked as tears trickled from the corners of her eyes. I don’t care what the world thinks. I just care what my children and my mother think, what my church thinks, and what my friends think.

Nathan put his arms around her and held her. They have known you a long time, Tess. They may be surprised at first, but they will come around. Just wait and see.

I hope so, she whispered.

Nathan took his handkerchief and blotted her face where tears had spilled over her cheeks. Go touch up your makeup, and we’ll go.

Tess stared at her face in the mirror. So this is how Heather Prine felt, she thought. She took her lipstick from her purse and leaned toward the mirror. Her diamond heart necklace swayed toward the mirror, mocking her movements. She remembered so clearly when Brad had given it to her that first Christmas after he had signed to play basketball for the Gators. A special Christmas. And his words … Mom, this is to thank you for all the times you were there for me. You know I wouldn’t have made it through those bad times with Dad not around if it hadn’t been for you. Oh, Brad, your dad was there; you just didn’t know.

Tears filled her eyes again. Being found out had so many consequences. Nathan tapped on the door. Are you just about ready?

Yes, I am on my way.

When she opened the door, Nathan was leaning against the door facing. As he straightened, he pulled her arm through his and said, Don’t worry about anything, Tess. I’ll do the talking. I know you have the strength down deep inside you. Just hang on.

Her voice quivered. But I am tired of being strong. I don’t have that strength in me. I feel like it’s gone.

He laid his hand over hers. Then you have mine. Lean on me.

She looked at the familiar face that she had seen too little over the last twenty-four years and took a deep breath. I’m ready. Let’s go.

You know, Mark, every time an unusual story breaks, I say that nothing will shock me anymore. But I must say that this really has blown my mind.

I’ll have to agree. And for you who are just joining us, I am Mark Adams here with Rick Peyton for KJUN news. We are waiting for Nathan Grant, coach of the well-known Tennessee Christian College Fighting Wildcats, and Tess Roberts, mother of Brad Roberts, the NBA’s ‘rookie of the year,’ to make a statement regarding Brad Roberts’ disappearance. Rick, what do you think of all of this?

Well, Mark, this certainly is an attention grabber. Brad Roberts, six-foot-five center for the New Orleans Gators, has gone into hiding following an explosive announcement in a well-known tabloid. Ms. Roberts’s ex-husband has exposed Brad as being the son of Coach Nathan Grant. He told the tabloid that Brad is a love child of Grant and Roberts. Supposedly the two had a ‘one night stand,’ in his words, over twenty-four years ago.

Yes, and it appears that, if this is true, Brad did not know anything about it.

Brad Roberts played ball for Coach Grant and his Wildcats during his college career and then, to everyone’s amazement, chose to play for the Gator team. As one of the top draft choices, he certainly could have played on a more established team.

Now that these allegations have come to light, perhaps Coach Grant had a hand in why Brad chose to play for the Gators. It is no secret that Gator Coach Lee Ramsey and Grant are very close friends. They go back to college days at Louisiana State, where the two played ball together.

Mark, do you remember how the basketball world was so shocked when Brad made it known that he wanted to play for the Gators? I think he said something about wanting to make a difference in a newly established team.

"And he certainly made a difference in the Gators this year. He led them to the play-offs with his spectacular playing. Statistically speaking, Brad is unusually good for his size. He has averaged about eleven rebounds per game, five blocks, and twenty-one points. That’s good for a seasoned player, and Brad is only beginning. His moves remind me of Pistol Pete. Remember him? Brad’s future looks bright. Rick paused. That is, if he can overcome this hurdle."

Brad’s a nice guy; he seems to have his head on straight. Off-season this year, he volunteered to speak at many high schools and colleges—he is very active in Christian Fellowship of Athletes. I am sure this is tough for him.

Well, it would be for anyone. Just think, what if you found out from a tabloid that you were the child of the station manager?

Mark groaned. Don’t even think it.

I am sure that late night television is having a field day with this.

Oh, they are. I heard one last night. Let me see if I remember it. Oh, yes. The host said something like this: ‘I thought only the players were supposed to score. Coach Grant scored twenty-five years ago and is still reaping the benefits from it.’

Oh, that’s bad, and you know, it is really hard to imagine Coach Grant having any dirty linen to air. He has always been relentless with his players and their lifestyles. I wonder what his players are thinking.

That is always what is so bad about being in the limelight. If you are found with any flaws, they are magnified over and over, way beyond their size.

Well, this one is pretty big—six-foot-five, to be exact.

See, you are making jokes too.

It is just too easy. So what did you find out about Tess Roberts?

All I could find out is that she is divorced—has been since Brad was about five. She began a catering business before Brad was born and seems to have developed it into a profitable business following her divorce. She has a daughter who is about three years older than Brad. Friends report that she and Brad are extremely close.

I have seen Ms. Roberts and, I assume, Brad’s sister at many of Brad’s games. But this father—I don’t know anything about him.

Mark, according to the tabloid in which he made the statement about Brad’s paternity, he is a pharmaceutical salesman. According to him, Ms. Roberts did not allow Brad to have contact with him after the divorce, so he and Brad are practically strangers. One source even said that she refused the child support he would mail her, returning it unopened.

What is your gut feeling on this?

Well, it’s too early to say right now, but the top story is that Brad Roberts is nowhere to be found.

There were rumors that Grant and his wife had serious marital problems, especially when Grant turned down a pro-coaching job about seven or eight years ago. Then she contracted a fast-moving cancer and died within a year after discovering it. I know that he has a cabin in the mountains about an hour from TCC where he stays when he can. He maintains the family home in Nashville year-round. That is where his daughters live, but he doesn’t stay there very much. I think he stays there during holiday times and some parts of the summer. He is really close to them.

Yes, and they are very supportive of their father. In fact, at least one of the three is at every ball game within driving distance of Tennessee.

Mark held his hand up. Wait, Rick, I think they are coming out now.

The two newscasters watched as Tess Roberts and Nathan Grant walked into the press conference area at the News Orleans Superdome. Mark spoke softly: They both look exhausted.

They do, but both of them are good-looking people. She doesn’t look to be in her late forties, or early fifties—which I know they both are. You can tell that she was an athlete herself. She is still a beautiful woman.

Nathan squeezed Tess’s hand before he reached into his pocket to get the statement they had written. His daughters stood by his side, and Tess’s daughter stood by her.

He cleared his throat and began to read. Thank you for coming today. I will not go into details; however, I will give the answer to the question that everyone wants answered. Bradley Keith Roberts is my son. I have known this since he was four years old. For personal reasons that we felt were for the best at the time, we did not think this should be public knowledge. He glanced up from the paper in his hand. Tess and I may not have used the best judgment in handling our son’s early years, but we love him very much. Our intentions have always been to protect him. My daughters have expressed their desire to become better acquainted with their brother. He placed his arm lightly around Tess’s shoulders. I have the highest respect and admiration for Tess. She has raised a son whom a man can be extremely proud of.

As he paused, reporters began to shout out questions. Ms. Roberts, you haven’t said anything. How do you feel about all of this?

She looked uncertainly at Nathan. He squeezed her hand. How do I feel? She lifted her chin, tightened her lips, and looked into their eyes. How do I feel? I feel the most intense pain a person could feel. I made wrong choices and an innocent person is paying.

For once the reporters were quiet, respecting two parents who were suffering with the child they were never able to share. In the silence that followed, Nathan slipped his hand under Tess’s elbow and turned to leave the room.

Mark looked at Rick. Folks, what a confession!

Well, I must say that Coach Grant certainly followed his style—no sugar-coating the situation. Just spit it out. He paused for a moment. But I think that when they left the room, we all felt their humanness. It’s not often that we feel empathy for those with such a sensational story, he laughed.

It had to be their dignity. That quietness—and her admitting her pain and her wrong choices.

I just wonder what Brad is thinking.

"You know this has to be a shock to him. What a way to find out that your real father is the man that you’ve called Coach for four years—in a tabloid! No wonder Brad dropped out of sight. It also makes me wonder what kind of man Donald Roberts is."

Yeah, Brad is innocent in all of this. I just can’t understand how a man could do that to a young man he had raised as his son for four years. You would think that he would have had some shred of decency that would have kept him from doing something like this. If he was so determined to let Brad know, he should have just told him. Not public humiliation for everyone.

Well, he obviously isn’t ‘father of the year’ material. And this might just be one story that backfires on him.

We’ll be keeping abreast of breaking developments in this story. Stay tuned to KJUN Sports News.

Tess walked resolutely from the conference room and into the office of the Gator coach. Without any preliminaries, Tess asked bitterly, How do you think the ‘baring of our hearts’ went?

Nathan didn’t answer her right away. He turned to their children, Will you all excuse us? We need to talk.

He watched them leave and shut the door. With his hand still on the doorknob, he finally answered her question. I think it went well. I guess we see what happens from here.

"Well, not only does the world know about our indiscretion, but your son knows too—that is, if he was listening. If he wasn’t, though, the newspapers and tabloids will be sure to let him know."

Our son is out there, probably asking himself a lot of questions. One question that I don’t want him to ask is whether I cared about him.

Nathan, this whole ordeal has been so humiliating. She whirled around and walked to look out the window at the busy streets below. Why humiliate him and our families more with a news conference? Her voice trembled, betraying the deep hurt she felt.

He quietly crossed the floor and stood behind her. I’m sorry, Tess. I was only doing what I thought was best for Brad. Perhaps he is out there listening, and he will know that I finally acknowledge him. He’s got to wonder why I didn’t tell him while he was playing basketball for me. When he turned her to face him, he saw the tears glistening in her eyes. Oh, Tess. Please try to understand.

Nathan, I do understand. It is just this situation. It is horrifying.

Tess, there are some things you need to know.

She put her hands on each side of his face and said quietly. Tell me. Tell me everything.

He looked trapped, but in his heart he knew he would have to come clean or lose her respect. Everything, he repeated, as he led her to the sofa. He sat on the edge and looked at his clasped hands, willing himself to begin somewhere. Almost defensively, he said, You were under enough stress with Brad’s accident. When your ex-husband started his threats about revealing to your family and friends about Brad’s paternity, I knew I couldn’t let him win—I didn’t want either one of you to go through that. I did the only thing that I knew to do to take care of you both—I paid him off.

What? Did he ask you for money? How much?

That’s not important.

She gripped his arm. Yes, it is to me.

He sighed and looked away. Twenty-five thousand dollars.

Nathan, where did you get that kind of money? I know you didn’t have it. Your wife might have, but not you.

I borrowed it.

What? How? she gasped.

I was coach at TCU and had a very close personal friend. He paused. Jeff Black co-signed a loan for me.

Tess sat in silence. I am so sorry. She shook her head. Donald has used this situation to cause both of us shame and heartache. I know I am not supposed to hate him, she trailed off, but he has hurt so many people.

I know, Tess, but if we would not have …

Tess interrupted, How well I know, but he didn’t have to humiliate Brad.

But to humiliate Brad is the only way to humiliate us.

Oh, Nathan, I know you are right. That is immature and childish.

He was hurt. People strike back when they are hurt. Nathan sat quietly a few moments and then said, There are a few other things that I would like to tell you since I am coming clean.

Tess looked at him, startled. What do you mean?

He stood up and began pacing, When you wouldn’t accept child support from me for Brad, I set up a kind of trust fund for him. Every month I put the money in it. I didn’t know what his future would hold, and although I couldn’t acknowledge him, I wanted to be a part of his life.

Tess got up and walked over to him and said, There is nothing wrong with that.

I am not finished, he continued grimly. My scouts do not go to Louisiana to hunt athletes in small Class C schools. He was at Tennessee Christian College not on an athletic ‘scholarship,’ he said using his hands for quotes. He was there because I wanted to be near my son. That college fund became his scholarship that first year. Taking in her shocked expression, he added forcefully, After that first season, he proved himself and earned the scholarship on his own.

Please tell me that he didn’t go to the pros the same way, she whispered. He would be devastated.

Tess, he answered impatiently, "use your common sense. Brad is a rookie of the year. That honor is not handed out because a player is someone’s son."

I’m glad, she whispered.

He held up his hand. But …, he paused. You have to know one more thing.

What? she asked, fearing his answer.

"You know that Coach Lee Ramsey of the Gators is a