Tiger Pause: Lost in a Jungle Called Alcoholism

By Nancy L. White

Tiger Pause offers a very personal glimpse into one womans experience of living with an active and later recovered alcoholic. Through excerpts from contemporaneous journals, and later reflections on her experience, she weaves along her pathway, and offers a beacon of hope to those undergoing a similar experience. As I read it, I laughed and I cried, and I learned how fierce was her determination to never let go, no matter how dark things looked. Her inspiration shines through this book.
Rev. Jeff Rarich

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481718158

Nancy L. White

The Author Nancy White is a graduate of Wilkes-Barre Business College, and a retired Financial Vice President. She is now working part time in an office near her home in Dallas, Pennsylvania, which affords her the time to enjoy her passions for reading and writing. “Tiger Pause” is the result of years of journaling, and was compiled as a promise and a tribute to her husband, who walked out of a “Jungle called Alcoholism”, and never looked back. A second book “Mornin’ Tiger” is in process, also from journal entries. It shares her journey, as she mourns the loss of losing her husband “The Tiger” to colon cancer. It is being written to support colon cancer research, and those that may be suffering the loss of a loved one to this disease. She plans to have it published in the near future. The Illustrator – Artist/Photographer Catherine Evans is the daughter of Jack and Nancy White, and has a Bachelor’s Degree in Fine Arts from Kutztown University. She started in business with her own “Country Photo”, and later opened a gift shop “My Mother’s Image”, where she continued with her photography. She now takes pictures as a hobby, and has three grown children who have always been the centerpiece of her most treasured photos.

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© 2013 Nancy L. White. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/08/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-1792-2 (sc)

978-1-4817-1815-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013903167

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Dedicated

To our children

Dan & Cathy

Who blessed our Journey

With life, laughter, and love

In Memory of Jack White

Dad.tif

The man I called Tiger

Introduction

New Year’s Eve 2006 was a quiet evening – I was alone by choice, and had plenty of time to reminisce and think about the future. It seemed like I had pushed the pause button when my husband passed away from colon cancer in 2004 – Now it was time to push the play button, and try to do something meaningful in my life. As midnight neared, I began to think of my options - And in the process, I made a resolution to write a book that had been in the back of my mind, and stored in boxes of journals for more than twenty years. It would fulfill a promise I made years earlier to the man I loved – The man I called Tiger. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, so I began referring to it as our journey through "The Jungle called Alcoholism". As I sat on the floor with mountains of memories surrounding me, I wondered how I would connect the difficult times, in a home clouded by alcoholism - to the message of hope, faith, and love I wanted to convey. Days, months, and years went by, as I included and discarded pages chosen from the heart. A love story seldom makes it through this life unscathed, and ours was no exception – But with the support of many, we walked away from alcoholism and back into our forever love story.

Now I offer this book with a purpose and a prayer, and to anyone who thinks they may be dealing with this addiction - May they too walk away from The Jungle called Alcoholism, and continue on toward a life of sobriety and serenity.

Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.

If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love,

It would be utterly scorned.

Song of Solomon 8:7

Now let me introduce you to the man I lovingly call –

TIGER

I met him in the fall of 1958, and almost immediately we were inseparable. Dating was such fun. We could do anything or nothing. We could talk, or just enjoy the silence. We could discuss serious subjects, or laugh about trivial things. It was more than I imagined it could be, and I was head over heels in love. I remember coming home from a date with him. I was bubbling over with excitement, and Mom was sitting at the kitchen table with her usual smile and a cup of tea. I made one for myself, and though I don’t remember, I’m sure we enjoyed it with chocolate. All our important conversations were over tea and chocolate. I told her I was in love - how he made me feel smart and beautiful - and how he made me laugh. She understood - She and Dad had been married thirty years, and were still very much in love.

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I wonder what I was thinking in this picture - I wonder what he was smiling about -

I wonder if this young suburbs guy was destined to meet this country girl, with the bandaged knees -

I know even then he would have made her laugh.

Journal Entry - October 1958

First date in the balcony of the movie theatre

First kiss, holding hands - laughing

So many kisses at traffic lights

Car horns blowing behind us - laughing

Roller skating- me skating rings around you

You falling and tripping me up - laughing

Bowling - your ball knocking the pins down

Mine disappears into a black hole – laughing

Dinner date - you trying to get me to like lobster

I did, lobster for two is expensive - laughing

Going to football