My Armor's Kinda Rusty ... Encouragement for Weary Warriors

By Paula Meiners Yingst

How have I come to this place in my life and ministry where hindsight is not simply a self-pitying review of all the things that have gone wrong over the years? A cleft in the rock, where Im finally ableat least some of the timeto recognize that whenever I allow myself to honestly reconsider the awesome, the awful, and the decidedly ugly moments scattered along the pathway of my life experience, I can see that Gods hand has been guiding my journey.

This is an exploration of accounts that have inspired me over the years, a search for answers to questions that have challenged me, and information that Ive gleaned from various sources. They are told from my personal point of view. But also included are amazing stories that Ive collected from other imperfect peoplethe humorous and the heartbreakingwhich have stuck with me over the years and insist that I still have much more to learn. They remind me that especially when it comes to spiritual armor, mine is rusty even on a good day. But then, so is yours, and therefore ours.

So lets continue the journey together.

Caution: Stay alert for falling rocks and tongue-in-cheek humor.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 17, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449772406

Paula Meiners Yingst

Paula Yingst has been negotiating life’s gauntlets for over fifty years. She has a passion for Christian education and a heart for people who are hurting physically and emotionally. Paula is a native of San Diego County, California. And she’s willing to admit that she’s not perfect—just forgiven.

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My Armor’s Kinda Rusty …

Encouragement For

Weary Warriors

SKU-000610246_TEXT.pdf

Paula Yingst

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Copyright © 2012 Paula Meiners Yingst

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Zondervan Publishing House.

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-7240-6 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 11/15/2012

Contents

The Journey

Chapter One: Basic Straining

Prepare your shields, both large and small, and march out for battle! … Take your positions with helmets on! Polish your spears, put on your armor! (Jeremiah 46:3-4)

1.   Rusty Armor

2.   Fall In!

3.   Christ-Centered Confidence

4.   Boot Camp

5.   The End Of The Rope?

6.   Hindsight & 20/20 Vision

7.   A Kick In The Derriere

8.   Trusting Through Tribulation

9.   Doing Push Ups

10.   Digesting Discipline

Chapter Two: Omg My Breastplate Is Slipping!

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. (Ephesians 6:10-11)

11.   Mind Games

12.   Guarding The Heart

13.   Discerning Truth

14.   Frightened By Flaming Arrows

15.   O, Those Double-Edged Swords!

16.   Happy Feet

17.   Shifting The Blame

18.   Staying Focused

19.   Powerful Priorities

20.   Burnt Sacrifices

Chapter Three: May I Speak To The One In Charge?

The Lord thunders at the head of his army; his forces are beyond number, and might yare those who obey his command … (Joel 2:11)

21.   The Mantle Of Authority

22.   Mastering The Gauntlet

23.   Who Really Cares?

24.   Innocent Until Proven Guilty

25.   What Will Be Will Be?

26.   Something Wicked This Way Comes

27.   Give Me A Break!

28.   It’s Just Too Hard!

29.   Go Home

30.   Subtle Reminders

Chapter Four: Who’s Guarding The Arsenal?

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. (2 Corinthians 10:4)

31.   The Double-Edged Sword

32.   Shattering Myths

33.   Gun Control

34.   Rabbit Trails Of Trust

35.   Traitorous Traditions

36.   Collective Bargaining

37.   Fatal Innocence

38.   Sticks And Stones

39.   Saber Rattling

40.   The Ultimate Weapon

Chapter Five: Which Way’s The Enemy?

Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)

41.   Real Or Perceived?

42.   Master Of Disguise

43.   Instigator Of Fear

44.   Expert On Bondage

45.   Painful Distractions

46.   Divine Guidance

47.   In The Trenches

48.   Historical Deception

49.   Satan: The Defeated Foe

50.   Unexplainable Interventions

Chapter Six: Casualties Of War

O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint. O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?(Psalm 6:1-3)

51.   Simplicity

52.   Common Sense

53.   Substance

54.   Unrealistic Expectations

55.   Credibility Compromised

56.   Perspective

57.   Blindness

58.   Relationships

59.   Security

60.   Survival

Chapter Seven: The Wake-up Call!

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.(1 Thessalonians 4:16-17)

61.   Confirmations That Demand Attention

62.   Lessons Lost In Time

63.   Breach In Security

64.   Towers And Terrorists

65.   Vows Of Defiance

66.   Bricks Without Straw

67.   Sycamores And Cedars

68.   Financial Freedom?

69.   Lucky Sevens?

70.   Serendipity

The Destination

Resources

Dedication

This rusty piece of work is dedicated, first of all, to my Prince Charming and best friend of 40-plus years. Then to all of the other colorful characters who grace these pages. Also a very sincere thank you to my mother, Barbara Meiners, for her unconditional love over the years and her constant belief that I could do this. Love you, Mom.

Blessings to Lisa Draper, JoAnn Buettner, and my daughter, Lisa Ivans, for their helpful editing insights!

And in memory of one of my very dear mentors, Sherwood Eliot Wirt (1911 – 2008), founder of the San Diego Christian Writer’s Guild and author of many books, including the one used to find appropriate quotes to accompany my devotions, Topical Encyclopedia of Living Quotations (Bethany House Publishers, 1982). Remembering you fondly, Woody.

"You are the light of the world,

but the switch must be turned on."

— Austin Alexander Lewis

"To take all that we are and have

and hand it over to God

may not be easy;

but it can be done, and when it’s done,

the world has in it one less candidate

for misery."

— Paul E. Scherer

The Journey

I heard her gasp. In the mirror I saw the horrified expression frozen on my hair stylist’s face. I thought she was reacting to a personal experience I’d just shared – something so horrible that I hadn’t wanted to remember it. But she needed to know.

Then she said, Oh my gosh, that happened to me!

My incident had left me feeling devastated. But for the very same thing to have happened to her was just … well, disastrous!

No way! I said.

I could NOT believe it, she continued. I was cutting this lady’s long, thick hair, and she asked if I would thin it a little. I said, ‘Sure,’ and we kept on chatting. I reached for my thinning shears and …

Oh nooo, I commiserated.

I knew exactly what she was going to say next.

I had grabbed my straight edge scissors by mistake!

Now it was my turn to gasp, and for a brief moment we shared a deep sense of empathy. Then, via our reflections in the salon mirror, we suddenly recognized the humor embedded in both of our experiences, and we laughed until we almost cried.

My story had turned out to be her story. And now we would remember this moment in time as our story.

How often have I wallowed in my own, personal state of misery, thinking there was no one else on planet Earth who could possibly understand my emotional, physical and spiritual pain? … So I chose to travel the road alone.

How many times have I heard a pastor say, Your situation is not unique, even though you may think it is? … But I wouldn’t believe it.

How have I come to this place in my life and ministry where hindsight is not simply a self-pitying review of all the things that have gone wrong over the years? A cleft in the rock, where I’m finally able – at least some of the time – to recognize that whenever I allow myself to honestly reconsider the awesome, the awful, and the decidedly ugly moments scattered along the pathway of my life experience, I can see that God’s hand has been guiding my journey.

For the answers to questions that have challenged me, I need to return often to the mine, yours, and ours concept on which this book is based. This is an exploration of accounts that have inspired me over the years and information that I’ve gleaned from various sources. They are first of all mine – told from my personal point of view. They also include stories that I’ve collected from other imperfect people – the humorous and the heartbreaking – which have stuck with me over the years and insist that I still have much more to learn. They remind me that especially when it comes to spiritual armor, mine is rusty even on a good day. But then, so is yours and therefore … ours.

So let’s continue the journey together.

Caution: Stay alert for falling rocks and tongue-in-cheek humor.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.

Man looks at the outward appearance,

But the Lord looks at the heart."

(1 Samuel 16:7)

SKU-000610246_TEXT.pdf

Chapter One:

Basic Straining

"Prepare your shields,

both large and small,

and march out for battle! …

Take your positions with helmets on!

Polish your spears,

put on your armor!"

— The word of the Lord concerning the nations

(Jeremiah 46:3-4)

"Tis not enough to help the feeble up,

but to support him after."

— William Shakespeare

Rusty Armor

I grew up in a culture of us vs. them – cowboys vs. Indians, Popeye vs. Bluto, Bugs Bunny vs. Elmer Fudd, the Coyote vs. the Roadrunner (Beep, beep!). I was born near the end of the Baby Boom that exploded after our guys returned from fighting their guys following World War II. Back then the good guys always won and the bad guys always lost. (All that changed during the Viet Nam War era, when it seemed like everything from politics to pantyhose was thrown into a blender and served up as the new normal.)

When I was in kindergarten, little boys played with cars and trucks, built with blocks and stayed together in their corner of the classroom, away from the kitchenette toys and baby dolls that were only for the little girls.

A girl was expected to grow up, get married and become an impeccable homemaker. She would be adept at gossiping with her fellow girlfriends at neighborhood coffee cloches and raise three or more children. Or, if she had an unfortunate face or figure and was unlucky at love, she could choose to be a librarian or a secretary or a teacher. She could even be a nurse or a missionary, if she felt gifted in those areas.

I was one of the many little girls who adored us vs. them animated Disney movies – especially the ones featuring castles, princesses and knights with flashing swords dressed in shining armor. So, in retrospect, it’s not surprising that I spent my childhood expecting to fall madly in love with Prince Charming and to ride away with him into happily ever after.

Now, from my perch overlooking the past – and with many years of acquired counseling skills under my belt – it’s easy to understand why I loved the regalia in the 1973 movie Camelot. And why I related to one character in particular. Not the lovely Lady Guinevere, but the pitiful King Pelinore. Peli (as he was affectionately called) was a disoriented old gentleman who was discovered tangled in brambles, and being held captive inside a suit of rusty armor. He simply could not comprehend his plight!

That’s how I began to feel when the early, dragon-like symptoms of clinical depression began rocking my self-esteem at the tender age of seventeen. So it’s not a wonder that I was swept off my feet when a charmingly devoted older man (by three and a half years) came along during my senior year in high school, overlooked my insecurities and said, After you graduate, I’m going to marry you. I reasoned that my prince had arrived. Convinced that Chuck was God’s compassionate answer to my naïve prayers, I reached out to him for rescue from adolescently conceived troubles. Without a doubt, I knew that he was key to my future happiness.

At eighteen I wasn’t able to envision how difficult it would be to keep the flowery promises that I would make on the evening of my fairytale wedding. And soon after that, when an avalanche of reality cascaded over me, I wasn’t capable of comprehending the quality of love and the depth of forgiveness that it would take to save me from an unexpected abyss of despair.

But the God of heaven knew his plans for my life, and they were much bolder than I could ever have imagined.

"’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord,

‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.’"

(Jeremiah 29:11)

A RUST REMOVER: Remember a time when you felt caught in the brambles of life. Realize that specific situations, which seemed dragon-like at the time, may still be causing you emotional pain. Read 1 Corinthians 13:11-12, and spend some uninterrupted time with the Holy Spirit. Ask him to help you release childish thoughts and reasoning that are binding you to those memories, in Jesus’ Name.

"I know the world is filled with troubles and injustices.

But reality is as beautiful as it is ugly …

I just couldn’t write anything without hope in it."

— Oscar Hammerstein II

Fall In!

Before we were married, Prince Charming and I didn’t talk much about finances. We didn’t discuss owning pets or the fine art of buying gifts for people. We didn’t exchange ideas concerning how we would resolve conflicts, equip our home, or raise our children. I wasn’t concerned though, because in fairy tales people don’t worry about stuff like that. They just live happily ever after.

Prior to the I dos, I didn’t think to ask my beloved how he felt about me driving his prized Tri-Power, Four-Speed, ’64 Pontiac Catalina 2+2. It never crossed my mind that when he did allow me to drive it, I would not be permitted to drive beyond our city’s boundaries, without a fight. I assumed I would go to community college and eventually become an elementary school teacher, just as I had always dreamed that I would. (That didn’t happen because he was afraid his precious car would get scratched during its idle time in the parking lot!) And discerning his theological worldview seemed like a no-brainer since we’d both grown up in the same church.

How could I have known that my job description included turning away door-to-door salesmen (even when the product they were selling seemed so necessary to the advancement of my homemaking skills)? And why was it so unreasonable to want to spend my piddly, part-time job paycheck on things that I wanted instead of putting it toward groceries and utility bills?

In addition to putting the toilet paper roll on backwards, Prince Charming irritatingly expected me to write a check for every purchase that I made. Rather than buying maple syrup at the store like most reasonable people, he insisted that I concoct it from boiled water, sugar and maple flavoring like his mother had always done while struggling to feed her five children on a shoestring budget.

I was eighteen, Chuck was twenty-one, and neither of us had a clue that both of us had a lot of growing up to do.

My first step toward marital maturity involved money stored in a metal tea bag can that I squirreled away in the kitchen cupboard. I’m a word engineer not a math whiz, but it didn’t take me long to figure out that a girl simply can’t function without at least a small amount of cash. My survival instincts kicked in. And since I had been entrusted with custody of our checkbook – in Chuck’s mind I did not need currency – I quickly came up with a very simple alternative.

The first time I decided to overwrite the grocery check and get cash back, I had a really hard time living with myself. But I found that with each transaction, the deception became easier. And with every passing week as I stashed away a few more dollars, I would condone my deceit by reasoning that I had no education beyond high school and no marketable skills (that I was aware of), so if I ever got desperate enough to bail out of my marriage, I would need some money!

But after a few months of emotional turmoil – and a sermon on wifely submission – I began to realize that my secret cache was not giving me the peace of mind that I’d hoped for. I wasn’t trusting God to provide for my needs. I was working on my Plan B just in case God’s Plan A didn’t pan out to my satisfaction.

That Sunday when the offering plate was passed, I relinquished my meager savings to the Lord. And in my heart I felt like the side wall of Jericho had come crashing down. Of course my simple-minded gesture didn’t resolve my marital conflicts, but I experienced a significant victory in a critical spiritual battle.

As I write this, Chuck and I have managed to stay together through four decades of better, worse, richer, poorer, sickness and health. We’ve encountered lots of frustrating speed bumps, challenging hurdles, and roadblocks along the way. And we’re