Who Am I, Really?: The True-Life Story of an Adoptee Searching for Her Identity

By Gale Tobin Holz

I wrote about my own story from the time I was born until the present. I decided to write my book a long time ago, especially if I learned who my natural parents were. Even though I haven't found my natural parents, I chose to write about my adventures in searching and about my adopted parents who eventually wanted nothing to do with me. That is waht my book is about. The only problem that I had with my story is that there is no resolution to my search. I hired Omni Trace in Delray Beach, Florida three or four years ago, and they can't find the name of my natural parents, let alone my adopted mother, even though I gave them her surname. I hope that my not being able to find my natural parents isn't a detriment to my book being published. I knew that I was taking my chances when I wrote my book if there was no resolution to my very long search that I not only conducted myself, but that which Omni Trace conducted, also.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477277973

Gale Tobin Holz

I am a 68 year old retiree from being a registered nurse and an associate of Walmart. I retired from nursing after my third and last child was born because I wanted to be a stay-at home mother. Many times while I was at home during the years my children were in school, I had the desire to go back to my profession of nursing. However, it wasn't feasible at that time. When I look back on those years that I stayed at home, I have no regrets, as I know that my children may not have turned out as well as they did. I have three grown children two of whom have their own children whom I love very much. I learned a very valuable lesson from growing up with my adopted parents that nothing will ever come between my children and me. Family is everything to me, and I will never put into jeopardy all the love we all have for each other. I wanted my book to be one of self-help for those who have gone through the same experience as I have in not being able to not know my identity or who I am. I kknow nothing about my background; I do not know my nationality, my birth name, my natural parents' religion or whatt they did for a living. I wrote about my natural father possibly being in World War ll, but I am not sure about that, either. Beause my adopted mother told me that my natural mother was a "war mistress," I believe he was in the War somehow. I have tried to find out if anybody out there has ever heard what a "war mistress" was, but not one person who I have written to or talked to has ever heard of the term. That is why I feel that my adopted mother made up the term herself in order to protect me or my natural mother from the truth as to what she really was. I have my ideas, but again I don't have the answers to what my natural mother was in reality.

Book preview

Who Am I, aReally?

The True-life Story of an Adoptee Searching for Her Identity

Gale Tobin Holz

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AuthorHouse™

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2012 by Gale Tobin Holz. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 11/07/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4772-7796-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-7797-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012918574

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Dedications

Introduction

Chapter 1

My Birth:

My Adopted Parents:

Chapter 2 My Adopted Sister [Sis]

Chapter 3 Are you My Father, Mother, or Brother

Speculations Concerning My Natural Parents:

Chapter 4 Why?

Chapter 5 My Conclusion: Hope for the Future

Epilogue

About the Author

Endnotes

Notes

"If a person we care for dies and is never told how we feel about him, then what is the point of his having lived on this earth? What a waste it is to keep our thoughts and feelings of compassion, caring, love, and importance to ourselves! We must act on these thoughts and feelings; because if we don’t show how we feel, it is not only unfair to that person who is so special to us; we are being unfair to ourselves, as well.

If we wait to tell him tomorrow how we feel about him, or, if we hold back our feelings because we are afraid of what others will think of us, then it may be too late. The regrets will be too painful to bear when we realize that this person never really was aware as to how important he was to us.

Everybody needs someone in their lives who care and are willing to share these feelings of love and caring. But, in order to show that someone who is special to us, we must break down the barriers of fear and prejudice and let go of the inhibitions of our own feelings. Only then can we feel that inner peace within ourselves that we are all so deserving of."

Gale Tobin Holz

06-26-1996

Always remember the following quotation: The truth will set you free. [New Testament John 8:32] This quote is repeated in my book. It is important that we all remember that the ‘truth’ is what gives us a conscience.

   "How life catches up with us

   and teaches us to love and

   forgive each other!" Collins

GEMINI [May 21st-June 21st] There’s a French proverb that states: To want to forget something is to think about it. Getting closure-real closure-is the key to putting the past behind you so well that it never enters your thoughts again. This is an important quote for all of us to remember in our quest for the truth about our biological backgrounds. I believe that unless I or anyone else involved in searching for his/her identity, must know the truth about his/her background. Otherwise, he/she will always wonder for the rest of his/her life what may have been in his/her past.

I am using the words natural or at times real in reference to my ‘birth’ mother. When referring to my ‘adopted’ mother, I use either the word mother alone or by itself, or I put the word adopted in front of the word mother. I hope this clarifies the distinction between my two mothers.

Gale Tobin Holz

NOTES [Cont.]

NON-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION CONCERNING MY BIRTH AND MY ADOPTION [These are some of the things that I have been told, but I don’t know if some of them are really the truth.] The first six I know are true; the rest are doubtful that they are really the truth.

Adopted Name: Gale Carol Tobin

Adopted Mother’s maiden name: Minnie Barbara Rischka

Adopted Father’s Name: Harold James Tobin

Adopted grandmother’s name: Mary Gloning Rischka

Adopted grandfather’s name: John Rischka

My DOB: 06-11-1944 [Sunday]

Place of birth: Genesee Hospital, Rochester, New York [called a blue baby]

Natural mother entered hospital under my adopted father’s name: Mrs. Harold Tobin

Adopted father paid for my natural mother’s delivery

Natural mother was 17 yrs old when she had me?

Natural mother was 21 yrs old when she had me?

Dr. Snow delivered me

Adopted father was a foster parent before I was adopted; adopted mother?

Natural mother was a war mistress

Natural mother followed the troops, but where?

I was told that my natural mother was someone I knew, and that if her name was mentioned to me, I would know who she was

Adopted privately by a doctor

Amended Birth Cert information:

   Birth #: 47218

   Hour of birth: 4:25 PM

Natural mother was an American, not a foreigner

Both adopted grandparents came to the United States from Austria in 1905

Date of Adopted mother’s birth: 04-13, 1906

Place of Birth of my Adopted Mother: New York City

Date of Adopted father’s birth: 08-10, 1904

Place of Birth of My Adopted Father: New York City

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Dedications

To my adult children, Lori and Charlie Doyle, Jon and Tami Holz, and Rod Holz: They are all very close in spirit and the love they have for each other. I am so thankful all of us are close to one another; but the main reason I am thankful is that they never fight or argue [at least in my presence]. What more could a mother want or need in her life, but happy and healthy children?

To my grandchildren whom I love and cherish with all my heart: Chas and Kate Doyle; Jon, Jr., Gavin, and Evelyn Gale Holz;

Kate Doyle, Lori’s daughter has gone so far as to present her theories to me as to what may have happened to my natural mother and father. She helps me because she has so much insight as to what may have happened in my past. Gavin Holz, Jon’s son, shows that he is interested, also, as he always asks me questions concerning my background. I enjoy listening to all my grandchildren’s interesting comments and speculations. I never know if one of their comments could end up being the answer I am looking for.

To my loving and patient husband Walt [Fritz, Popsy Wopsy, Pa Pa, Grandpa, etc.] who has always supported me all the years I searched on my own but got nowhere; and also for his putting up with all the stress I have put myself through while writing and correcting my manuscript.

To my best friend, Sandie Brown, who has always inspired me with her words of encouragement and for her being there with the support she has always provided me. Because Sandie not only loves listening to music and enjoys singing in a choir, I had to add the following quotes that describe her kind and gentle manner: [God put a song in my heart. And Music is love in search of a word.] Both unknown

To my husband’s parents, Walter O. Holz and Herta Holz, [Now Deceased] who always made me feel like I was a part of their family and always made me feel like I was a person who is worth