Am I Beauti Fully Bro-Ken or Beauti Fully Broke-In?

By Spidey Williams

Every time I write my life story, it comes out how I feel but not always what I see. Every time I look in the mirror, it shows me all I can never hide raw & uncensored. It gives truth to me. How many of us have an alias pen name, nickname that were known as, other than our birth name? You dont have to raise your hand or nod your head, but at least try to smile even if its hard. I was bred & raised a Christian, but I feel I am less of a man & more of a God. Every poem I write at least one person like, but the ones written in sorrow & blood, People never forget & surprisingly love. Its hard for me to bleed externally when Ive been bleeding internally since I was born. By age eleven I had 13 wisdom teeth, & doctors call me extraordinary, by 14 I was suspended 15 times in two years, statistics called me ordinary! By 17 I was brilliant again, from publishing my first poetry book, result of heartbroken. Should have told the witch doctor never heal me, shouldve congratulated Cupid, for failing again, should have went to every wishing well, & retrieved every penny for my thoughts, instead of publishing my first poetry book, entitled, Poems From The Heart

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781468502961

Spidey Williams

Reality strikes more than twice in the same place, and it doesn’t care, about any puppy eyes or sad face.Teaches you clichés like, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, but yet stress is the ultimate serial killer! But I don’t see them sentencing life to death. They rather place patience on death row. So after learning this, I wrote my third book called, “Now Judge This Book by Its Cover,”! Just more clichés like “We live, & we learn, or welcome to life, or it is what it is”! How about Go Go Gadget me a Nightrider, so I can ride out of this fairy tale living land. Returning back to my “Land Before Time” when I remember “Once Upon A Time”, when “A Time To Kill”, was our first initial thought “By Any Means Necessary” instead of “Pulp Fiction” being our Malcolm X. Since beginning of time T.V. & movies were our “Higher Learning”, as we learn to be “A Menace To Society”, we “Biker Boys” love our cars to be “Fast & Furious,” waiting for “Friday,” so D-bo can play like he tough, until “Next Friday”. As our females continue “Waiting To Exhale”! What have we become? Who are we, better yet, who were we not? If you were looking for me to make you smile, I hope I did a great job at the beginning, but if I didn’t, maybe the next poet or writer will. Because my last book written and published I had to let “My Pen Talk”! Evidently my words were never loud enough, my mentality was too nice, & people tried to keep me calm, & give me free advice, without living my life! I just wanted to grow up normal, wanted what most normal people did too. I was just given a different spirit; I was categorized with Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 2 Pac Shakur, Shakespeare, Mark Twain & the rest of gang. I never had a choice, some people were given powers, but never used them, and others used them that were never meant to have them.

Book preview

Am I

Beauti Fully

Bro-ken

or

Beauti Fully

Broke-In?

Spidey Williams

US%26UKLogoB%26Wnew.ai

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2011 Spidey Williams All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 12/12/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0298-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0297-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0296-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011960740

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

About the Book

Conclusion

CHAPTER X

Job Fair

If These Bones Could Speak

Moths & Butterflies

Time for the Talk!

Still Born!

Finding Myself

Flaws and Faults

Let Me Speak

?  

The Valley

CHAPTER IX

Dream-Mare

Inside My Mind

Thinking You Better

Not The Same

I’m Different!

Ordinary!

Your Turn

My Weapon Of Choice

Pieces of Peace and War

Growing Pains

CHAPTER VIII

Self Rapist

My Poem to Me

Angels vs. Demons

Happiness through Pain

The Truth

Lonely Roads Of The Truth

A Love Game

Time Will Tell

Accidently

Before Self Destruction

CHAPTER VII

GodMan!

All Man

A Different Me

Starving Artist

Sunset on the Beach

Different Views

Secrete Serum

The Postpartum Blues.

My Pulpit

Falling From Love

Hard Times

Invisible

If Not

People Say

Expectations

Obligations

Less Green Grass

Less than Perfects

Identity

The Bridge

CHAPTER V

June 2003

Tough yet Sensitive

Words Do Kill

F**k You

Love me not or Love Me Forever part 2

Rekindling the Fire

A New Beginning part 2

3 kisses

GAME OVER

Soldiers of Love

CHAPTER IV

Momma Williams!

Father Williams

My Living Brother

Unappreciated

Fading to Black

Thank You

I’M Me

Can’t See It Coming Down My Eyes

2011

Mr. Handicap part 2

CHAPTER III

As I Fight and Write

My Duty!

I Know You Do

Do To Others

Be Careful What You Ask For

Suicide Or Homicide

Numbness

Finding Yourself

Falling From Love

Best Friends

CHAPTER II

Love Me Now or Never

Feeling Beautiful

Sincere & Faith

We Are Killing The Children

In My Defense

Simply Love

I’m Sorry

Against My Window

I Pray

Say No More

CHAPTER I

As I Cry

A Sand Castle

Love-Of-War

Bull’s Eye

Leprosy Love

Omnipotence

The False Prophet!

The Loving Truth

The Perfect Bad Guy

Not A Damn Thing Funny

INTRO DUCTION

Beautifully Broke-In

About the Book

Reality strikes more than twice in the same place, and it doesn’t care, about any puppy eyes or sad face.Teaches you clichés like, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, but yet stress is the ultimate serial killer! But I don’t see them sentencing life to death. They rather place patience on death row. So after learning this, I wrote my third book called, Now Judge This Book by Its Cover,! Just more clichés like We live, & we learn, or welcome to life, or it is what it is! How about Go Go Gadget me a Nightrider, so I can ride out of this fairy tale living land. Returning back to my Land Before Time when I remember Once Upon A Time, when A Time To Kill, was our first initial thought By Any Means Necessary instead of Pulp Fiction being our Malcolm X. Since beginning of time T.V. & movies were our Higher Learning, as we learn to be A Menace To Society, we Biker Boys love our cars to be Fast & Furious, waiting for Friday, so D-bo can play like he tough, until Next Friday. As our females continue Waiting To Exhale!

What have we become? Who are we, better yet, who were we not? If you were looking for me to make you smile, I hope I did a great job at the beginning, but if I didn’t, maybe the next poet or writer will. Because my last book written and published I had to let My Pen Talk! Evidently my words were never loud enough, my mentality was too nice, & people tried to keep me calm, & give me free advice, without living my life! I just wanted to grow up normal, wanted what most normal people did too. I was just given a different spirit; I was categorized with Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 2 Pac Shakur, Shakespeare, Mark Twain & the rest of gang. I never had a choice, some people were given powers, but never used them, and others used them that were never meant to have them.

Conclusion

Every time I write my life story, it comes out how I feel but not always what I see. Every time I look in the mirror, it shows me all I can never hide raw & uncensored. It gives truth to me. How many of us have an alias pen name, nickname that we’re known as, other than our birth name? You don’t have to raise your hand or nod your head, but at least try to smile even if it’s hard. I was bred & raised a Christian, but I feel I am less of a man & more of a God. Every poem I write at least one person like, but the ones written in sorrow & blood, People never forget & surprisingly love. It’s hard for me to bleed externally when I’ve been bleeding internally since I was born. By age eleven I had 13 wisdom teeth, & doctors call me extraordinary, by 14 I was suspended 15 times in two years, statistics called me ordinary! By 17 I was brilliant again, from publishing my first poetry book, result of heartbroken. Should have told the witch doctor never heal me, should’ve congratulated Cupid, for failing again, should have went to every wishing well, & retrieved every penny for my thoughts, instead of publishing my first poetry book, entitled, Poems From The Heart written by Yours Truly, Spidey Williams! I should’ve become even bitterer; instead I searched out another loving kitten, hoping to have better luck, with a completely different litter.

I found love! Rather love found me. Because I wasn’t looking, all I knew was, a cute face with a nice smile, now silently doesn’t say please help me, but don’t help me please! I’m just joking! It’s just raises yellow flags saying caution! Since it’s wasn’t red I should’ve been safe, but the umpire called me out! When I was leaving third base, wasn’t quite home when tagged, so how could I be safe. Pain knocked on my door, after tracking me down. First with my friends & family. Death began adding up, than love became unsettled pain popped back up. Thus leading two my second book entitled Love Me not, or Love Me forever! Well don’t laugh at me, told you I was looking for, the ever after, didn’t quite reach the happily, but happily after ever, I write this happily!

Reality strikes more than twice in the same place, and it doesn’t care, about any puppy eyes or sad face. It teaches you clichés like, what doesn’t kill you only make you stronger, but yet stress is the ultimate serial killer, but I don’t see them sentencing life to death. They rather place patience on death row. So after learning this, I wrote my third book called, Now Judge This Book by Its Cover,! Just more clichés like We live, & we learn, or welcome to life, or it is what it is! How about Go Go Gadget me a Nightrider, so I can ride out of this fairy tale living land. Returning back to my Land Before Time when I remember Once Upon A Time, when A Time To Kill, was our first initial thought By Any Means Necessary instead of Pulp Fiction being our Malcolm X. Since beginning of time T.V. & movies were our Higher Learning, as we learn to be A Menace To Society, we Biker Boys love our cars to be Fast & Furious, waiting for Friday, so D-bo can play like he tough, until Next Friday. As our females continue Waiting To Exhale!

What have we become? Who are we, better yet, who were we not? If you were looking for me to make you smile, I hope I did a great job at the beginning, but if I didn’t, maybe the next poet or writer will. Because my last book written and published I had to let My Pen Talk! Evidently my words were never loud enough, my mentality was too nice, & people tried to keep me calm, & give me free advice, without living my life! I just wanted to grow up normal, wanted what most normal people did too. I was just given a different spirit; I was categorized with Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 2 Pac Shakur, Shakespeare, Mark Twain & the rest of gang. I never had a choice, some people were given powers, but never used them, and others used them that were never meant to have them. So if I’m too deep for you, or all I write is about depression, maybe you should open your eyes, and see not all of us humans, are experiencing the recession. Or maybe it’s my deep rooted anger of suppression, or maybe it is my since of morbid depression, or maybe it was never them, it was only one form of our mental slavery rights of United States of America!

Better known as, Freedom of expression!

CHAPTER X BEAUTI FULLY BRO KEN

CHAPTER X

BEAUTI

FULLY

BRO KEN

Job Fair

Here you go it’s yours for now, & handed me a book, pen & a separate application,

Ask Him what should I write to get this job?

He replied no lies! Everything & anything that’s in your life,

Says it’s yours! So write what you like!

So I wrote & I wrote. Impulsively, rough drafts, & well planned out thoughtful thinking thoughts.

Realized it was permanent ink. First time I tried to erase what was written.

Skipped lines at times, entire pages if need be, without any intentions of ever returning.

To hurry up & get to the end, to get a new book! Then I could rewrite my story better or differently.

Maybe change how my life began, or influence a different ending!

I went to my father & said now I need a new one! He flipped through my pages & said,

You still have empty spaces & left behind blank pages! So why?

Why should I give you a new one? If you didn’t use your God given abilities with the first book!

So I went back ripped out pages, I no longer wanted to remember. Filled in dead spaces in between lines, with new thought & images I lived, in the land before time!

New now I wasn’t going to get a new one. So I wrote over & over old lines.

Crammed in every word & connation! Broken English! Left out hyphens, commas, periods, exclamation marks, & question marks! To get all my points across! Didn’t care how chaotic the inside was,

Only how the outside appeared! Because it was my book of life to tell my story just the way I like & what I wanted you hear. Should have condensed my sentences, left less fragments, more punctual with punctuation! Thought before writing, typed it over & over! Before handing it back to my father & potential boss!

He said, I thought I taught you better, but even after I had a 1,000 people rewrite a 1,000 times!

They still found ways to forget, choices are long lasting & life changing! And there is life & death in words. People will eventually read! Should’ve taught you penmanship, rather than just man ship! With gun hold analogies & catchy clichés. Told you everything! But you claimed experiences teach lessons, words could never imply!

Told Him sorry! As I began to cry! If you give me one last pen & paper this time! I try. To rewrite everything right! I even help others write a better story! I show them! I’m not who they thought me to be. I befriend more! Make less enemies! Murder less dreams! & help them become reality.

He said wish wished me well, believed in heaven & hell! Believe me! This isn’t easy!

Screening all these applications daily! I prayed for you to pray to me!

Gave you more than enough pages! Some leave lasting impressions with less ink.

I decrease & increase life’s hours based on decisions! Not! Money or faces!

Could’ve been fired you! Or pulled your life plug! But instead you forced me continuously, give you tough love! Although I’m your father, doesn’t mean you automatically inherit the family’s business!

You showed yourself unworthy of my riches & mansions of gold!

Should’ve listened when told! Or after I italicize, highlighted & bold!

You couldn’t sacrifice then! So how can you expect me to sacrifice now?

Held my head high, then He put His pen down. And said although, many people believe in many different religions. Some even claims the Bible lies! I implanted truth in hearts & minds. Wrote it in Braille, so the truth can be known, even if you’re blind! Gave many signs in case you were deaf! Judging according to what you believed in. A language only the spiritual receive, in death.

Now It’s not too late for others. But your life has been written. Should’ve stayed between my guidelines before you began scribbling & writing to close the edge, but this chapter is done, my book of life is bigger than just you son. I’m responsible for many lives, everyone writes their own story. I’m only the librarian.

You die! The second the pen runs dry!

Now I appreciate your New Life Application.

But I’m sorry son, you application has been denied!

If These Bones Could Speak

If these bones could speak who would listen?

What stories will unfold to be told?

Could you handle, dismantle, of innocent babies bones breaking!

Teeth shattering, parents battering, clattering their fist against angel faces,

Tongues severed, fingertips overcooked & well done, to leave no traces!

Leaving no error for forensics mistaken identity!

If these bones could speak who would listen?

To rape victims who were raped constantly & repeatedly, by strangers, significant others, friends or kin.

To the alleged suicidal suicides murdered ecstatically, drastically torn between life’s love & deadly hate!

Could you digest the earsplitting of cries from grown men & women screeching lullabies! Buried alive!

Phantom in your head, stories conveyed to the living while dead!

If these bones could speak who would listen?

To the dancer who no longer ballets! Who couldn’t salsa or waltz fast enough!

To the boxer who never saw this punch line coming! Couldn’t bob & weave death’s deadly blows.

To the fatherly scientist who knew no solution or combination of ingredients of why he could no longer wipe away his child tears!

To the housemaid of life who was responsible for cleaning the skeletons out death’s closet.

To the newborns guilty of only wanting to be loved & cuddled, now forced to innocently be held & rocked to sleep in death’s arms.

To the stripper who only wanted to show some skin for luxury, longevity, & dividends!

Found in the back of the club, because she refused to give some horny married man some love!

Who will listen!

To the Sister’s who only crime was being black uneducated in life’s Goddess self-preservations facts!

To Arabs or Jews who only wanted the same wealth & education of an American,

Remains found scattered among the land of the free, guilty only one sin! He was born looking differently from you & me!

To the African slaves who bought our freedom rights with the life they gave.

Sacrificing arms, legs, hearts, & middle fingers, not counting the tongues cut out, so the truth could be cut off from the rest of lies!

If these bones could speak who would listen?

To our friends & family members murdered or dismembered.

To our associates associating sociopaths gloating without reverence to the dead, about

Their monstrous, mind-boggling & amazing, incredible, implausible, far-fetched & highly improbable hideous deed! As it appears they got away