Psyche: the Soul of Therapy: Explorations in Faith, Meaning, and Committment

By Miles J. Matise

This book purports to redefine therapy as a spiritual practice requiring discipline and a process of creating meaning for ones life. The word psyche originally meant soul, and it is that which this book leads the reader back to. As a professional psychotherapist, Dr. Matise describes Freud as not just the discoverer of psychoanalysis but as one who was more spiritual in his approach than is given credit. The book calls therapy back to its roots and original intentions as soul work. Therapy is not just for the sick of mind but more and more acceptable to all people, as our modern lives become busier and more detached from one another.

The pressures to succeed and be happy, though widely held Western values, have left individuals devoid of real meaning. In the age of quick fixes, therapy as a process of spiritual growth and development has lost its appeal and conditions us to avoid legitimate pain at all costs. The book provides case studies to clarify the integration of psychology and spirituality. While written from the perspective of a psychotherapist, its audience is far wider, as the book explores human nature and the existential questions of humanity, rather than the nuts and bolts of therapy. This book is for the searcher in each of us who is seeking a deeper experience of what it means to really live and not so much be happy, but be real.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Feb 15, 2012
• ISBN: 9781452545219

Miles J. Matise

Dr. Matise is a licensed professional counselor and addictions specialist who works with patients with all types of disorders. His primary research interests are spiritual development and distinguishing spiritual crisis from mental disorders.

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Copyright © 2012 by Miles J. Matise, Ph.D., M.Div.

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ISBN: 978-1-4525-4520-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-4522-6 (hc)

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2012900378

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Printed in the United States of America

Balboa Press rev. date: 01/09/2012

CONTENTS

Foreword

PART ONE

The Changing Climate of Our Time

PART TWO

Faith

PART THREE

Meaning

PART FOUR

The Psyche of Therapy

PART FIVE

Commitment

PART SIX

The Cohesive Personality

(The Look of Wholeness…)

Epilogue

Afterword

This book is dedicated to all those who have helped me become more human along this journey

"Once the limits of the physical world are explored,

there is no place to go but inward;

Americans are now left only to explore their own psyches,

their own inner journeys."

(Barber, Comfortably Numb)

Foreword

Psychotherapy is in danger of veering from its original purpose. This book purports to redefine therapy as a spiritual practice requiring discipline and a process of creating meaning for one’s life. The word psyche originally meant soul, and this is what this book will lead readers back to. As a professional psychotherapist, Dr. Matise describes Freud not only as the discoverer of psychoanalysis, but also as one who was more spiritual in his approach than he is given credit for. The book calls therapy back to its roots and original intentions as soul work. With the increasing popularity of celebrity therapists, therapy has become widely accepted as all but essential in the changing climate of modernity. Therapy is not just for the sick of mind; it is becoming more and more acceptable to all people as our modern lives become busier and more detached from one another. The pressures to succeed and be happy, though these are widely held Western beliefs, have left individuals’ lives defunct and devoid of real meaning. This book provides a context to discuss the perennial questions and other pertinent issues in the context of the therapeutic milieu. With the increasing categories of mental illnesses and the influence of the booming industry of pharmacology, therapy, as a spiritual process for growth and development, has all but lost its appeal. The age of quick fixes, even with emotional issues, has conditioned us to avoid legitimate pain at all costs. Helping has become a big business to the detriment of the slow and often painful process of psychological and spiritual growth and development. The therapeutic relationship as a tool for this to occur has long been embedded under the guise of wizards, seers, and priests, but the modern appeal to psychotherapy purports therapists as the new priests, where anthropos (being human) becomes possible and relevant again. The book is semi-autobiographical and provides case studies to clarify the integration of psychology and spirituality. While written from the perspective of a psychotherapist, its audience is far wider than professionals, as the book explores human nature and the existential questions of humanity rather than the nuts and bolts of therapy. The therapeutic milieu provides the context to explore psychological themes such as creating meaning and the development of the self, as well as issues of faith, such as God, death, suffering, and evil. Finally, it explores meaning through commitment in relationships as a spiritual path. The book is similar in genre to some of the works of M. Scott Peck, Sam Keen, Sheldon Kopp, and Gerald May. This book is for the searcher in each of us who is seeking a deeper experience, yearning to know what it means to really live, not so much for the sake of being happy, but for the sake of being real.

The Myth of Psyche and Eros

The myth of Psyche and Eros is a story about the development of mature consciousness. Living the myth incorporates the factors that are addressed in this book, such as discipline, spirituality, and the existential pain of life. The importance of myth in the history of human development and evolution, especially as it plays out in the world’s great religions, demonstrates their power to transform individuals on a personal level. Myth is the language through which humanity relates to life’s mystery and creates meaning from these experiences. We are imaginative beings; spiritual beings; more than just flesh and blood. It is this that creates our longing to embrace something more for ourselves, something beyond our ego-identity. We simply cannot settle for less than expanding our consciousness in the way of maturity, without a severe and humiliating cost to our psyche (soul). Thus, the importance of myth and the relevance of Psyche and Eros become obvious. James Hollis, author of Tracking the God: The Place of Myth in Modern Life, explains the atmosphere and world that lives you in myth so that images grow from invisibility into visibility and likewise grow deeper and fuller into mystery when you have learned to live inside its beating heart. He continued:

Mythic images help us to approach the mysteries. Myth draws us near profound depths of love and hate, life and death—precincts of the gods, the mysteries, where categories of thought falter and slip into dumbfounded silence. Myth is a way of talking about the ineffable. Myth is a way of continuing the conversation when the awesome silence gathers. In theory and system one sees the language of mind; in myth one sees the incarnate language of the soul.

The myth of Psyche and Eros is about transformation; about growing up the soul from boy to man, girl to woman, human to anthropos (fully human). This is a story about the spiritual journey and how inner beauty is more important than outer; it reveals our true self as that which is perfect and whole already.

This myth begins with Psyche (which means soul or butterfly), one of three sisters. It was said that Psyche’s sisters were jealous of her because she was the most beautiful and received all of the attention. Eros was foreordained to be with Psyche. One day, he accidentally pricked Psyche with his arrow while she was asleep, and she instantly fell in love with him. A prominent aspect of the psycho-spiritual journey is that it is relational. We are spiritual beings and thus created to relate with one another. What deters us is that life, which consists of a myriad of relationships, is not always pleasant. In fact, some of our most uncomfortable experiences in a relationship may bring some of our most profound leaps in spiritual growth. Because mythic symbols are not literal but are, by their very nature, symbolic, we all possess beauty, though it is often disguised and goes unnoticed because of our cultural conditioning to prejudice beauty as a physical asset only.

As time went on, worried that their daughter had not yet found a partner, Psyche’s parents consulted an oracle to ask about her future and who she would marry. She was told that she would have to surrender to the inevitable and go up the mountain. When she arrived on the mountain, she would discover that her new home was a beautiful palace, and her new husband, Eros, was gentle and true, but she would not be permitted to see him. The spiritual path is fraught with frustration because it is not a logical path, as we are conditioned to think about our lives. Instead, the spiritual path is based on gnosis or knowing by direct experience. We can read all the how-to books we want—and there are plenty out there—but none of these will take us on the journey; they can only point us in a direction. The work of the path is our opportunity to grow and evolve beyond the small, constricting world that has been handed to us. Once we accept the challenge of fully participating in our life, which is commitment, then the numinous will come to as a partner on our path, much like Eros came to Psyche (Lover came to Soul). But first it will take accepting the invitation to go up the mountain, and what you will find is something akin to your soul’s original home.

Psyche made it up the mountain and was experiencing the companionship of her lover, Eros. Though Psyche’s soul had found its home, she became lonely for her family and friends. She sensed that her sisters were jealous of her newfound companionship and beauty as a result of finding this. Her family’s attitude suggested to Psyche that she should doubt her lover’s intention and motives and return to her family. Her sisters convinced Psyche that the next time her lover came to visit her, she should have a lamp and knife ready to kill him. A common misconception is that once committed to the spiritual path, one’s life will suddenly turn around and become bliss. The experience is much different, and once it has begun, you cannot return to what once was. Many people try this, and by doing so, they create a life of hell and hardship for themselves, often leading to psychological pathology. In the realm of addictions, it is often understood that a person is trying to return to Eden, a state of bliss. However, consciousness will not allow this; the only way out of this hell is through it. It has been said that religion is for those who fear hell, while spirituality is for those who have been through hell. The spiritual journey can be a lonely path because of the individuation process. At an existential level, one realizes they are alone in an ultimate sense and solely responsible for everything that happens in their life. This kind of truth can be sobering in the very least, even causing one to run back to a semblance of not-aloneness. The inverse is also true: One can be in the midst of a crowd and still feel all alone. Psyche missed the familiar ties with her family; that which is visible often overpowers our innate ability to perceive the invisibles and follow our bliss, despite the opinions and judgments of others, especially family. More than one sage has stated the words of Jesus, that a saint is not accepted even in his own hometown. I would prefer to say especially in his or her own hometown because of the stereotypical ways people who have known you try to keep you in that mold. The doubt Psyche experienced as a result of her family’s perceptions and expectations is a necessary part of genuine faith. This path is not easy, but it is well worth it.

Psyche gave in to her family’s suspicions, and when Eros came to visit her, she raised the lamp to see his face. Everyone who broaches the spiritual path to maturity is curious about the mystery of the lover of our soul. However, it is when our curiosity turns to a desire for certainty that we experience a loss and emptiness. Again, the result of this loss, this hole in the soul, is the precursor to many-an-addiction to quell the pain of what once was pleasure. Our ego does not give up its throne easily and will attempt to rationalize the spiritual path in a push for certainty. The ego does not lead us onto the spiritual path; it is something deeper, our soul, that calls us to satisfy our longing for home (hearth and heart). There are a plentitude of examples of ego-driven individuals who pose on the spiritual path and attract those new onto it, only to fall themselves, usually due to a moral demise. In this case, Psyche gave in to her ego’s desire to know for certain rather than following her heart’s desire to gnosis from her experience. The voices of others tripped her up, family in particular, but not all is lost. In fact, it is part of the developmental process of her own soul. We must learn to embrace the mystery beyond our personal level of existence for a more transpersonal one. Another interpretation is the dangers involved in expanding consciousness before one is ready:

The story warns that trying to reach for consciousness before one is mature enough for it of through shortcuts has far-reaching consequences; consciousness cannot be gained in one fell swoop. In desiring mature consciousness, one puts one’s life on the line . . . (Bettelheim, The Uses of Enchantment, 1977)

When Psyche awoke, the palace she had found at the top of the mountain with her lover, Eros, had disappeared. Afraid, she prayed for help and was answered by Eros’ mother, who gave Psyche a set of challenging (if not impossible) conditions to fulfill in order to find her lost lover again. The first task was to sort a huge pile of mixed grains into separate and organized smaller piles. Psyche looked at the huge pile in despair, but little did she know that Eros had secretly arranged for an army of ants to separate the piles. When we attempt to move from curiosity to certainty, like so many religions propose with their dogma and doctrine, not only do we lose the mystery of love, but we also lose a part of our imagination, a process so helpful in living a fulfilling life. With religions, who claim to be so certain, the ritual becomes rote, empty, and routine. We are so tempted to become focused on the representative (i.e., priest, reverend, pastor, guru, sage, therapist, etc.) that we take our eyes off of what we truly know (gnosis) of the numinous from our direct experience of it. In this case, Eros seemed to flee when Psyche tried to become too certain with the lamp. The spiritual path is one of staying awake and expectantly waiting; as opposed to being lulled to sleep in what we are fooled into thinking is the certainty of this life. To do so, there is a time for taking inventory of our lives. The sorting, organizing, and piling of the seeds is a mundane task and takes time, but something beneficial happens in the process of doing so. There are no shortcuts with spiritual growth, and sorting out piles in our lives and taking inventory is an act of obedience. In this case, to a higher calling in life. Psyche is afraid, not so much of anything as of losing her lover’s companionship to her soul. She wants this back and will have to grow more in order to find it, through seemingly impossible tasks. Most people give up at this point and avoid the opportunity for spiritual emergence. However, Psyche simply trusts, which does not exclude her doubts. What she discovers is her commitment to the spiritual path in general and her lover in particular enables her to make a miraculous success of the first task. The numinous, much to our surprise, is somewhat shy but works behind the scenes on our behalf. It may seem that it seeks our companionship more than we do it. At some point, there is no more you-and-it, but it is always there anyway and has never been a part of our experience, other than how we were taught to think of the numinous as separate and dualistic.

The next two tasks for Psyche involved getting a snippet of Golden Fleece from each one of a special herd of sheep and a cup of water from the river, where it cascaded down from an incredible height. Again, the numinous (Eros) is working behind the scenes to assist his soul (Psyche) in the task. For the task involving the sheep, numinous revealed for her to wait until the sheep were asleep to lessen the danger of being attacked. The cup of water was miraculously obtained by an eagle that flew to the great height of the waterfall and fetched it for her. The symbols of animals, while a common theme in fairytales and myths, have been used to represent Psyche’s deep anxieties, even to despair. But each time, something out of the ordinary (miraculous) occurs to assist her in her spiritual maturity. It can also be interpreted as Psyche’s achieving theos-anthropos—not only maturing into a fully human being, but also godlike in her qualities. Each task given to Psyche involved the possibility of death, whereby she had to symbolically die to her ego’s defenses and fears in order to bring about this rebirth experience that resulted from her successful completion of each task. Anxiety and depression are a part of the existential angst of living.

Psyche’s final task is to go to hell and ask Persephone, wife of Hades, for a box of magic makeup. Thinking this was impossible, she decided to jump off a cliff and end her misery all at once, but a voice told her not to and gave her instructions on how to get the box; it warned her not to look inside it for any reason. Psyche did obtain the box, but true to her curiosity, she opened it up to peek inside. To her surprise, there was nothing inside but darkness and she immediately went into a deep sleep. Just like in the myth of Christianity, Jesus had to enter hell to defeat its dark forces, so Psyche—as each one of us—has to enter our own darkness to overcome their primal influences on us. The darkness, which is called hell or Hades, is not evil, per se; rather, it requires integration and has powers that are useful to our growth. What may be labeled as foe is really friend in our quest for enlightenment. Most people choose to militantly deny this part of who they are at dire consequences; however, to love oneself is to love all of oneself, the light with the darkness. To embark on the journey into darkness is a function of psychotherapy and soul work. We all have a box that we rummage through from time to time but rarely open all the way to take inventory. We most definitely will find what we do not like, which may throw us into an identity crisis—that being who we think we are, even if it is a lie, with who we can be, but utilizing all of our resources. Psyche’s curiosity is likened to Eve’s, in the Garden of Eden, who, out of her curiosity, took the apple and ate it anyway. It is not disobedience but evolution of consciousness. It simply has to be in order to achieve our truest potential as theos-anthropos. Psyche’s deep sleep is representative of a dark night of the soul, the symbolic death before the rebirth.

Eros found Psyche and wakened her. He pleaded to the gods to intervene with Psyche and him. Zeus was