Veil of Secrecy: My Life Story

By Nicole M. Green

A True Story; Brother and Sister ( Natalie and Chance) endures a courageous battle with abuse when their birth Mother ( Joann Gilmore) is forced to give custody to her Mother Ester Jones ( AKA- Nana), after The Department of Family and Children removed them from her home.

Life for Natalie and Chance takes a dreadful twist when Ester deviously enforces her household rules. Life for Natalie and Chance will never be the same. Natalie and Chance struggle with unfathomable emotions of feeling worthless, unloved and uncared for. Changes began to evolve after Natalie unveils an enormous family secret.

Meanwhile, Chance battles with insecurities with regards to his individuality and self-worth.

As both, Natalie and Chance pray to be reunited with their Mother Joann; nothing could have equipped them for the journey along the way. Neither of them were ready for the harsh reality that life would convey to them. This story is an account of courage crying for freedom, and an everlasting union of love shared between brother and sister. After enduring deceit, secrets, exploitation, and hatred, what lies beneath the surface of their souls? Will they both adhere to faith and the power of prayer, or will they snap from the substance of life?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9781463418823

Nicole M. Green

Currently I am a small business owner, licensed in the state of Florida as an Agent/Broker, formally licensed in the state of Georgia to sell Life, Health and Annuity products. I am married to my wonderful, supporting husband Andre Green where he and I reside in Tampa Florida, alongside our handsome son John. We previously resided in Jacksonville, Florida, but desired a change. My purpose for writing this particular novel is” I am a true lover of romance”. Life brings so many uncertainties, yet with God, all things are possible. So many of us have inner insecurities that we hide in an effort to fit in with the normal. Whatever that is. I say, it is more important to be who you are “In Truth”, and the rest of the world has no other option but to take you or leave you. My Husband Andre taught me this valuable lesson. True loves seeks acceptance, not perfection. He accepts me with all of my flaws, insecurities, and supports “The Me”, that I desire to become. He helps me daily, to see the beauty that God gave me (inside and out). I was much like Lisa (the character in this novel); unsure of myself, afraid that love would never immerse favorable, and always worried about what others would think if they truly knew my inner being. I thank God for loving me enough to give me someone to teach me different. I am an author who also loves to read. My hope for you “my readers” is that this book takes you to a place outside of your everyday life. I hope you get lost in this book, fall in love with the characters, and visualize each chapter as if you were there. I look forward to many more writing projects to come, along with the sequel to “Silent Screams”. It has been a journey and a true pleasure writing this novel. My hope is that this book takes you on that same journey and submerges you in that same place. It is with so much heartfelt appreciation that I thank you. Nicole M. Green/ Profopoetic.

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© 2011 Nicole M. Green/ Profopoetic. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 7/21/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4634-1881-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-1882-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011909135

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1

Broken Spirit

Chapter 2

The Beginning of Their Lives in Terror.

Chapter 3

The First Day of School in Chatham County

Chapter 4

A Year Gone By

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Momma’s House This Summer

Chapter 7

Summer Time

Chapter 8

The Talent Show

Chapter 9

The Break-in

Chapter 10

Aunt Laura’s House

Chapter 11

No Uncle Bobby

Chapter 12

It’s All My Fault

Chapter 13

Living in the Cottage

Chapter 14

Back in the Big House

Chapter 15

Christmas Day

Chapter 16

The New Year

Chapter 17

Joann’s Attempted Suicide

Chapter 18

Joann’s Life after Attempted Suicide

Chapter 19

Natalie’s Courage in Adversity

Chapter 20

The Phone Call

Chapter 21

Chance comes back to Savannah

Chapter 22

The Tragic Celebration- Natalie Reminisce

Chapter 23

Alone

Chapter 24

The Ultimate

TO THE READERS

Dedication

God- How amazing you are. You love me no matter what. You always see the best in me when everyone around can only see the worst in me. You are more than incredible. You first–- loved me. I am eternally grateful. You gave me the… gift of writing what’s in my heart. I truly believe this passion is my purpose in life. Thank you for giving me life and continuously proving to me that I am someone special. Who would have thought that years ago, my biggest wish was to not have ever been born. Thank you for the re-birth bathed in your agape love. I am eternally grateful.

My Husband- Andre Green- You love me through what may seem like The Impossible. You see potential in all of my imperfections. You catch me when I fall. Except me flaws and all. That’s why I love you. You are truly my best friend, my confidant, the love of my life and my partner in everything. When I met you, I didn’t know I was worthy to be loved for just being me. With you my world is filled with so much pleasure – when I’m blind you are my eyes. Always my love- sweet love. I love you.

MY 3 Kids-

My Eldest- Ieshia - What a beautiful, intelligent woman you are. Graceful, eccentric, phenomenal woman…I admire your strength, your wit, and your boldness to just be YOU. I am so proud of you.

When I first held you- it was love at first sight. I love you.

My Middle daughter- Breanna-The most beautiful baby in the nursery. Born smiling. I know you will leave your footprints in this world. Full of Talent, energy, and the best sense of humor I’ve ever seen. The world ain’t seen nothing yet. Remember- that your life has purpose. One day, I truly believe that you will find YOU and your true independence and purpose in life. I love you.

MY Son- John- Never thought God would allow me the opportunity to love this way. What a bond we share. You are smart, funny, witty, handsome, and have the biggest heart I have ever seen. I know you are going to be a wonderful man, husband and father someday. Your love causes me to believe in all possibilities beyond imagination. You make being a mother worth wild.

I love you.

My Eldest Brother- Chucky- AKA- Orange Peel- How I wish you were here with me everyday. Especially at this moment. I wanted you to see that out of so much pain and dysfunction, something wonderful is always waiting on the other side of a storm. Our storm was major. I dedicate this book first and far-most to you. It was you who was there when all we had was each other. Your love and dedication to me truly set the bar and standards in high regard. I’ll always love you. Truth is never easy for an offender, yet it doesn’t change the truth. Truth is what it is! Your life meant something to me and will now mean something to this world. I love you with every fiber of my being. Raggedy Ann & Andy… I love you. Love Tank.

Because of all of you, I am a better woman, wife, mother, sister, and person. I aspire to be a better parent, wife and asset to the world. Thank you all for loving even my imperfections and praying me through the rest.Life is but a Dream.

My Cousin Mitch- Thank you for the happy times in my childhood. I love you.

To anyone that has ever suffered abuse and have had to grow up without the love of real parents. Words Matter. Somewhere on the other side of the rainbow is healing and a better life for you. Give God complete control and watch him take you to levels that you never could have imagined.

Chapter 1

Broken Spirit

The story began in Augusta Georgia. Natalie Gilmore, the daughter or Carl and Joann Gilmore, was a beautiful little girl. Natalie lived with her Mother Joann and her brother Carl Junior. Joann and Carl Senior had been separated for several years. The year was 1975. Natalie was four years of age and Chance (nick-name for Carl Jr.) was nine. Natalie, Joann, and Chance all resided in a two-story project apartment called Green Terrace. Natalie and Chance were as devoted as any brother and sister could be. In fact, Chance was often times very protective of Natalie. During this time in Natalie’s life, she doesn’t recall much about her Father, other than a small number of phone calls with him. Many times, Carl Sr. would make Natalie many promises, but would never be faithful in his commitment to them. Natalie loved him in spite the fact that she hardly knew him. Even the image of his face was a blur to her at this time in her life. Her recollection of her Father during this time was that he was enlisted in the United States Army as a Supply Sergeant. Chance did not have many nice things to say about him. Natalie’s fondest memory at present was a birthday party thrown in her honor, 3 weeks prior. It was her first experience with feeling like she was special. Joann’s Mother- Ester Jones lived in Savannah Georgia. Most of Joann’s relatives lived in Savannah, with the exception of her brother Josh, (known to the family as Bobby), and her Father Trudy Demont, who both resided in Augusta Georgia as well. Natalie’s life during this time was exhilarating. She was like any normal four year old girl. She jumped rope, played with her dolls, climbed trees, and most times she played football and wrestled with the boys. In many ways, Natalie was considered a Tom-boy, because she liked to do all the things the boys did. Most times she did many activities better than the boys. Natalie never likes to allow anyone or anything to out do her when challenged. Natalie admired her Mother because she felt like her Mother was dedicated and always seemed to be committed to making her and Chance feel loved and cared about. Natalie felt a deep sense of security. Joann was a great cook. She prepared the best fried chicken, made the best kool-aid, and made corn bread so thick and sweet, it was like pound cake. One morning, Natalie woke up to the sound of Joann giving Chance a whipping. Joann made Chance bend over a chair as she tied his hands and legs to the legs of the chair. Chance was completely naked. Natalie stood on the steps, clenching the rails in fear and sorrow for her brother. As Joann raised her hand, clinging to the belt, each blow to Chance’s bare body was like a blow to Natalie – herself. It was not apparent to Natalie as to why Chance was being beaten. Never-the less, with each tear Chance cried, and each wound on his body, it left a contusion in Natalie’s heart. Joann beat him until she was gasping for breath. Natalie was in a state of shock. Chance was swollen, red, and his body covered in bruises. Chance was getting dressed to attend school. He went to the restroom to wash his face and dry his tears. Natalie ran up to him and hugged him. Neither one of them uttered a word. As Chance left to go to school, he stopped next door to pick up his friend Jack.

Chance, what happened to your face? Was that you I heard screaming this morning? Jack was the next door neighbor and Chance’s best friend. The two of them were the same age and spent the majority of their time getting into mischief.

Yes. It was me. Mr. Wilson told my Mom that me and some other boys were stealing out of his store. He didn’t mention your name because he couldn’t remember it. Chance explained.

I hope he doesn’t tell my Mom on me. She has already threatened to send me to live with my Dad if I do anything else. Jack responded.

I hate my Mom. All she cares about is spending money. She never wanted me to be born. Chance replied angrily. The two boys walked in silence. Jack glanced over at Chance’s face. He walked along-side him, feeling sorry that Chance’s Mother beat him the way she did. Chance walked along with his head hung low. Around 12 noon, there was a knock at the door.

Who is it? Joann asked angrily.

Ms. Gilmore? I am Ms. Baker from the Department of Family and Children. I am here to speak to you about your son.Joann hesitated. She went to the door, pulled the curtain back, and then opened the door.

Come on in!Joann offered. Ms. Baker reached for her hand and said;

Ms. Gilmore, my name is Ms. Baker. I received a call from Carl Junior’s school expressing great concern about all of the bruises and lacerations on his body during a scoliosis exam this morning. The school suspects child abuse and it is the law to report such matters to our department. Ms. Gilmore, can you shed some light on this situation?Joann took a tempestuous breath and in angry voice replied,

Yeah I beat his ass for stealing out of a store. I am not going to have a thief living in my house. The store owner was nice enough not to press charges. Ms. Baker starred at Joann. The room was quiet. Natalie peeked from the stairs, listening with a deep sense of trepidation.

Ms. Gilmore, I understand the concept of your origin of anger. You are right. What Carl Jr. did was wrong. It is not what you punished him for that is in question but the method of punishment used, which is under investigation. The method you chose is against the law. Our department and State law views your actions as child abuse.

Joann’s face was red as fire. She huffed and puffed as her heart beat rapidly. Ms. Baker told Joann that she would be required to come to the school, make a statement, and speak with the principle of the school. Natalie did not know what to think, and she felt very uneasy. She was afraid that something bad had happened to Chance. Joann did not have transportation, so she and Natalie rode to the school with Ms. Baker. Once they arrived at the school, Joann saw Chance waiting in the principle’s office with tears in his eyes. Joann looked over at Chance with hate in her gaze. Natalie had never seen her Mother look at anyone that way. Chance had a dim glare. The principle walked up to Joann to introduce herself. Prior to Joann and Ms. Baker’s arrival, the principle spoke with Chance alone and asked;

Honey, how did you get all of these marks on your body? Chance was visibly nervous as he replied;

I was wrestling with Jack. We were rolling around in the grass and I am allergic to grass. The principle sent another student to go and get Jack out of class to come to the office. Jack arrived at the office and was asked the same question in reference to the marks on Chance’s body.

Were you wrestling with Carl Junior? The principle asked.

Yes Ma’am, a few days ago. Jack replied. The principle then lifted up Carl Junior’s shirt.

Did Carl make you aware of these marks on his body?

Yes Ma’am, he did. That didn’t happen while we were wrestling. Chance told me that he got a beaten because he stole out of Mr. Wilson’s store yesterday. Jack replied.

When the principle met with Joann personally, she gave her a mean look. At this instant, the case worker (Ms. Baker) did not have an opportunity to converse with the principle about Joann’s admittance to the abuse. As Jack headed back to his class, the principle got on her 2-way radio to call for the campus police. Once he arrived, they all met up in the principle’s office. The officer took a report and statement from all parties involved. Chance began to cry. He explained to Natalie what was going on.

Tank, they are going to send me away. I just know it. Chance replied sadly.

Is Momma going to go to jail with the police? Natalie asked. Chance sat quietly. The two of them held hands with great anxiety, wondering what the adults were talking about in the next room. Joann walked out of the room furious. The police told Joann that they were not going to press charges, but the Department of Family and Children would have to take custody of the children due to the nature of this investigation, pending another family member taking guardianship until a court hearing. The police continued to explain that if for some reason, no other family member was able to take the children, they would have to be placed in foster care and she would be placed under arrest. Joann quickly got on the phone to call her Mother Ester.

Hello Ma, I am down here at Chance’s school and these people are threatening to place me under arrest because I beat him for stealing. They said if I don’t let them stay with you, they will be placed in foster care and I will go to jail until I get a court date. Ester preferred to be called Nana by everyone who knew her with the exception of her co-workers. Nana told Joann to call her sister Madeline to come to get the kids until she arrived. Joann was taken down to the police station, where she was asked many questions and told that her court date would arrive in the mail for the hearing regarding this case. Ms. Baker confirmed. Meanwhile, Ms. Baker met up with Madeline to insure that her home environment would be a safe haven for the children. Ms. Baker was also able to meet with Ester once she arrived to Augusta. She explained to Ester, all of the details including all contact information since Ester resided out of state. They exchanged phone numbers and The Department of Family and Children in Savannah Georgia was notified.

Natalie noticed Chance crying.

Chance what’s the matter? Chance looked up with a distressed look on his face.

Momma is going to send us away. Chance replied.

No! She wouldn’t do that to us. She loves us! Chance rolled his eyes at Natalie and replied;

You don’t know her like I know her. All she cares about is a man and money, not about us. Natalie became angry at Chance and began to cry. She yelled at Chance;

You are just saying that because Momma beat you. Just as Natalie wiped her tears, Nana walked in the room. She looked so mean and so scary that Natalie froze to attention. Chance looked at her as if he knew this Moment would be the beginning of their lives in terror.

Chapter 2

The Beginning of Their Lives in Terror.

Natalie and Chance were finished packing their bags. Nana came into the room, speaking with a loud tone.

Chance, get your shit together. You have caused all of the damn problems for your Momma. I know you couldn’t have thought that your sorry ass Daddy was gonna come and get yawl. Now let’s go! Natalie starred at Nana trembling with fear. Chance on the other hand, had a look of complete hatred and numbness. Joann came into the room to explain to Natalie, what was going on.

Nat, you know Momma loves you, but Momma gonna have to send you to live with Nana for a little while. Just until I get myself together and back on my feet. Momma will call you every weekend. Okay? Natalie and Chance began to sob profutiously. Natalie and Joann began to hug and cry together. Natalie was convinced by Joann’s reaction that she did not want her to go. Although Nana was Natalie’s Grandmother, Natalie really didn’t know her all that well and was not comfortable with conversing with her. The chemistry between the two of them was not a close one. Although Natalie was only four years old at the time, she was very exceptional and very discerning of all of her surroundings. Natalie felt like Nana appeared to be too happy about a situation that caused two children to be separated from their Mother. It was like Nana came and took over with full control, making all the rules. Natalie and Chance took their bags, and loaded them into the trunk of Nana’s car. Joann did not want Chance near her.

Momma, aren’t you going to say goodbye to Chance? Natalie asked.

I don’t have anything to say to that trouble maker. Now I may loose my job over all of this. I should have allowed the police to take his but to jail for stealing.Joann replied. Chance sat in the back of Nana’s car with his arms folded as tears rolled down his face. As the car drove away, Natalie waved goodbye to her Mother. This was her first experience with heartbreak. Natalie felt a deep sense of sadness and despair. Nana began talking to Natalie, but she was not very receptive to her conversation. Nana suggested Mc Donald’s for lunch and Natalie began to cheer up. Mc Donald’s was Natalie’s favorite place to eat. Each time she would see the big arched M; she would get excitement in her voice. Nana drove up to the drive-thru window. She asked Natalie what she wanted.

I want a happy meal with orange kool-aid. Natalie responded.

Nana looked at Chance with this malicious look in her eyes and stated;

Chance, what in the hell do you want? I shouldn’t get your ass anything! All this damn trouble you have caused. Natalie would never forget the look in Nana’s eyes and the tone in her voice, nor would she forget the look on her big brother’s face when he replied,

I don’t want anything Nana. I am not hungry. Chance had this look of intimidation, fear, and anger all in one glimpse. Natalie was baffled by how quick and easy Nana’s personality could change from one level to another. Natalie felt in her heart that her life from that moment would never be the same again. Although Chance told Nana that he was not hungry, she purchased him a Happy Meal any way. Chance’s tears began to fall as