Comfortable With Being Groundless: A Guide For Beginners

By Leni De Mik Guy Gibbon

Have you ever questioned your assumptions about the world? Ever wondered if things are as you believe and “know” them to be? Ever wondered if how you know, is providing accurate information on how things really are?

We all seek the assurance of certainty. We want to be confident that we are living in the real world, not in fantasy or illusion. And yet, paradoxically, this driving need is the origin of much despair and suffering, for we live in a world without ground, as Comfortable With Being Groundless will contend.

Using the conclusions of recent scientific studies and principles of Buddhist thought, the authors explore our reliance on certainty, how we use stories to build that world of certainty, how our stories can unexpectedly bring upheaval and despair into our lives (for they are only stories), and how we can live comfortably in the groundless world we live in.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley
• Release date: Jul 27, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463148112

Leni De Mik Guy Gibbon

Leni de Mik is a clinical psychologist, teacher and lecturer. She has been active in and has received instruction and teaching in both Zen and Tibetan traditions, receiving teachings from H. H. The Dalai Lama, Alan Wallace, Sogyul Rinpoche, Tsoknye Rinpoche and Mingyur Rinpoche. Leni lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Guy Gibbon is professor emeritus in the department of anthropology at the University of Minnesota. He is also a semi-retired priest at the Minnesota Zen Meditation Center where he lives with his wife Ann and temple cat, Moo-san.

Book preview

About the Author

Leni de Mik is a clinical psychologist, teacher and lecturer. Raised in the Christian Calvinist faith, she became a member of Minnesota Zen Meditation Center in 1974. Leni has received instructions and teachings in both Zen and Tibetan Buddhism traditions. She leads meditation at The Linden Hills United Church of Christ in Minneapolis.

Guy Gibbon is professor emeritus in the department of anthropology at the University of Minnesota. He is also a semi-retired priest at the Minnesota Zen Meditation Center where he lives with his wife, Ann, and temple cat, Moo-san.

***

***

***

***

***

***

Comfortable with Being Groundless: A Guide for Beginners

Published by Austin Macauley at Smashwords

Copyright 2018, Leni de Mik and Guy Gibbon

The right of Leni de Mik and Guy Gibbon Irving to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the

Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this publication may be made without written permission. No paragraph of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted save with the written permission of the publisher, or in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright Act 1956 (as amended). Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

***

A CIP catalogue record for this title is

Available from the British Library.

***

www.austinmacauley.com

***

Comfortable with Being Groundless: A Guide for Beginners, 2018

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.

ISBN-9781788233828 (Paperback)

ISBN-9781788233835 (Hardback)

ISBN 9781788233842 (Ebook)

***

First Published in 2018

Austin Macauley Publishers.LTD/

CGC-33-01, 25 Canada Square

Canary Wharf, London E14 5LQ

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

Contents

Prologue. Why We Live in a Groundless World and What We Can (and Should) Do About It.

Part One. Why We Are Groundless and How It Is Hidden from Us

Chapter 1. On Being Groundless. Examining the Self.

Are Things Other than the Self Groundless, too. Harnessing Our Attention.

Chapter 2. Our Brain, the Illusion Generator. The Structure and Evolution of Our Brain. The Mind and Consciousness. Cultivating Awareness of Our Breath

Part Two. Is Being Groundless a Threat or an Opportunity?

Chapter 3. What Does Being Groundless Feel Like? A Constant Undercurrent of Dis-ease. More Extreme Feelings of Dis-ease. What Triggers Feelings of Groundlessness?. Intense Experiences of Groundlessness: Stories. Becoming Aware of Awareness.

Chapter 4. Being Groundless Seems a Threat, and I Don’t Like It. Common Reactions and Defensive Strategies. Knowing and Owning Our Defences. Examining Our Likes and Dislikes

Chapter 5. Embracing Groundlessness Has Advantages!. Opening Up to the Groundless World We Live in. Exploring Your Life Story.

Part Three. Looking at Being Groundless in New Ways.

Chapter 6. More on Perception and Consciousness. Perception Is not What We Think It Is. Consciousness Revisited. Letting the Story Line Go.

Chapter 7. From Knowing for Sure to the Wisdom of not Knowing. How We Come to Know. Growing Uncertainty in Science. Learning to Live with the Wisdom of not Knowing.

Part Four. Living Comfortably Even While Being Groundless.

Chapter 8. The Value of Meditation. Searching for the Self. Practising with Difficult Emotions. Working with Avoidance. Living the Middle Way.

Chapter 9. Conclusion: A Three-Step Approach to Becoming Comfortable with Being Groundless. Understand Why You Are Groundless. Become Aware of Your Responses to Feelings of Being Groundless.

Develop a Mind Training Practice.

Appendix. Tips for Dealing with Being Groundless.

Notes. Prologue. Chapter 1. On Being Groundless. Chapter 2. Our Brain, the Illusion Generator. Chapter 3. What Does Being Groundless Feel Like. Chapter 4. Being Groundless Seems a Threat, and I Don’t Like it!. . Chapter 5. Embracing Groundlessness Does Have Advantages!. Chapter 6. More on Perception and Consciousness. Chapter 7. From Knowing for Sure to the Wisdom of not knowing. Chapter 8. The Value of Meditation.

***

***

***

***

***

Prologue

Why We Live in a Groundless World and What We Can (and Should) Do About It

If at first an idea does not sound absurd, then there is no hope for it.

—Albert Einstein

Do you feel secure in your life? Are you comfortable with the person you are? Do you assume that you see things as they actually are? Do you ever wonder what is real, and how we can know what is real? Do you believe that you live your life according to your conscious intentions?

Many if not all of us want to feel confidently grounded in reality; we want to have a sense of certainty, to know that we are anchored stably in the real world and not living in a world of fantasy. Truth and reality give us a secure, stable platform of certainty from which we conduct our life. We find comfort in believing that truth is irrevocable, not ambiguous. We want to be confident that things are what we take them to be.

In this book we challenge the wisdom of this desire for a ‘taken-for-granted’ firm foundation of certainty. We suggest that contrary to what we may believe, this sense of certainty and grounding ultimately leaves us vulnerable to psychological shock and dismay. We also suggest that the desire for certainty needs to be examined, for it has not served us well. History shows how shaky seemingly firm foundations can be. Not long ago the earth was flat, our world was the centre

of the universe, spirits were present in special rocks, slavery was part of God’s order, and women didn’t have souls. These were ‘taken for granted’ convictions about the way things really are. It is a fantasy to think that we now have all the right answers.

Throughout this book, we suggest that we see our world through cultural and personal stories, a suggestion that raises the question whether everything is storied. Is there firm ground under any story? What of stories told by research scientists? Are they at least true? David Loy in response to this question in his book The World is Made of Stories says, This is not to deny (or assert) that there is a world apart from our stories, only that we cannot understand anything without storying it. To understand is to story. He then relates the following story:

According to a Hindu myth, the world is upheld by the great elephant Maha Pudma, who is in turn supported by the great tortoise Chukwa.

An Englishman asked a Hindu sage what the great tortoise rests upon.

Another turtle, was the reply.

And what supports that turtle?

Ah, Sahib, after that it’s turtles all the way down.

Loy’s understanding is that it’s stories all the way down, too.1 David Gordon and Graham Dawes in Expanding Your World add There is no ground to anything; it is groundlessness all the way down.2

What this means is exactly what it seems to mean. Shocking as it may seem, we suggest that while we construct stories about reality and act as if they are true, we really do not know yet what is really real, or so we will argue.

This book is about understanding how we as living beings came to see life as we do through stories and the consequence for us of necessarily seeing the world that way. Because it is common to confuse the stories we tell about the way things are with the way reality really is, our lives can (and probably will!) suddenly spin out of control when our stories let us down, for our stories are stories.

Our intent in Comfortable with Being Groundless is to provide you, our reader, with an introductory guide to restoring balance when what you have counted on for a sense of basic security, safety, and predictability is upended, when the world you thought you lived in turns out to be something quite different – and even if your life isn’t being upended, we hope to give you new ideas of the way the world is by reading this book.

Comfortable with Being Groundless is divided into four parts separated into two sections, the first of which is more introductory than the second. The first part of each section (Parts One and Three) concentrates on why we are groundless. It discusses why the stories we use to support our taken-for-granted life are groundless (that is, why it is ‘stories all the way down’). The second part of each section (Parts Two and Four) is concerned with the psychological impact of experiencing being groundless. It suggests ways we can cultivate equanimity and compassion when we find ourselves becoming aware, perhaps fearfully, that we do live in a groundless world. An appendix includes tips for dealing with being groundless.

Most chapters end with a meditation practice or an exercise that in accumulation by the end of the book will help you move experientially toward this way of understanding our world. For those interested in further comments and readings, endnotes are included at the back of the book.

Although there are many references to Buddhism in this book, you do not have to have an interest in Buddhism to appreciate the content and message of Comfortable with Being Groundless. While we are both long-time Buddhist practitioners, we are both professional scientists (psychology and anthropology, respectively). We feel comfortable with this mix of ancient and modern knowledge, for the commingling of ideas of modern Western science and Buddhism is part of a trend that has been rapidly accelerating over the past twenty-five years.3

So enjoy! This understanding is unavoidable in the evolution of human thought. We offer a step onto the path of awakening to the way we really are.

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

Part One

Why We Are Groundless and

How It Is Hidden from Us

Chapter 1

On Being Groundless

The difficulty is to realize the groundlessness of our believing.

—Ludwig Wittgenstein

Look around you. What do you see? From where we are sitting, we see a desk, a lamp, books, chairs and sofas, and, outside the window, pine trees, a dock, and a lake stretching off into the distance. From where you are what do you see? What about the people in your life? We see each other and our neighbours. We have memories of our parents, grandparents and brothers and sisters. Who do you see day-to-day? Who occupies your memories?

Our worlds are populated with the people and things around us. We assume that they are real, as we commonly understand that term. You may be reading this from a book or perhaps a kindle. Feel its weight. Look at its shape and size. Your senses confirm that it is there. Can anything be more real? Outside the window our neighbour George is mowing his lawn. Our friend