Bears Don't Tell: A Story for Grownups

By C. Ann Rikoff

I told my teddy bears secrets of what my father did to me as a child. How he took away my innocence. The bears will never tell--but I will, because one out of every four children are sexually abused by the age of sixteen. May this book bring some healing to my brothers and sisters who are still wiping away the tears of abuse even in their latter years. God created you for a reason. You have a purpose in liviing. Don't let tragedy rule your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 21, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456744366

C. Ann Rikoff

This story was written, not for revenge, but for therapeutic healing. What would it have been like having a daddy who truly loved his daughter? If you have one, treasure him. But if your father abused you, forgiveness can be your choice. Otherwise he will be controlling you for the rest of your life. I have two daughters and five grandchildren. My second husband and I live in the Midwest and have been married for thirteen years. My education consists of Bible College and business school. The rest of my credentials came from living life. Due to my first hubsand's choices, I had to go back into the work world after being a stay-at-home mom for a long time. Working as a collector for a mega bank was not a good experience--although I toughed it out for fourteen years. Choosing to retire early, I now have the opportunity to write--something I have always wanted to do. Thank you for readiing, "Bears Don't Tell." Comfort and Joy bears live in my therapist's office--for real--and they always keep their mouths shut no matter what they hear.

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© 2011 C. Ann Rikoff. All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 04/26/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4436-6 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4438-0 (sc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011902928

Printed in the United States of America

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

A FINAL THOUGHT

CHAPTER ONE

And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain. Rev. 21:4 (New American Standard Bible.)

The thought of being beaten to a bloody pulp and my mother being shot dead, was more than I could fathom. If having done such a deed, my father, a high-ranking military officer, would have either killed himself or have gone to prison. But by keeping the secret, the family just rotted from the inside out.

Years later, sitting in the softly-lighted funeral home looking at my father as he lay in his flag-draped coffin, all I could think about was, it’s over. The man, like an ensnaring spider, is gone out of my life forever.

Oh please, Dear God, don’t let this be a dream.

He can’t touch me now or abuse my damaged soul any further. He can’t call me degrading names or try to convince me I am too stupid to ever amount to anything. He can’t slap me for having opinions differing from his, or peek at me under the bathroom door when I was bathing, or hit me when he thought I was wearing makeup. And there would be no more mysterious footprints under my bedroom window. He will never again tell me I eat too fast, or that the minus after my grades was not acceptable. There was no way to please him. I’ll never have to go thru the pretense of being nice to him when we visited every year out of obligation.

As I stood on the grave of this brilliant son of a minister, a servant