God's Grace in the Midst of the Storms: A Family Journey in the World of Schizophrenia

By Barbara A. Covington

What do you do when, in the early years of your marriage, when you are faced with an uninvited illness called schizophrenia? How do you manage a husband who has been stricken with the disease? How do you take care of a baby, home, work and remain sane? This book is both informative and inspirational. The members of this family eventually learn to understand Gods Majesty and what the Holy Spirit is in their lives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 10, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452098715

Barbara A. Covington

The author was born and raised in Monroe, North Carolina. She is the second child of seven in her family. She received her undergraduate degree from Winston-Salem University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. She graduated from Queens College in Flushing, New York with a degree in Library Science and then when on to receive the Doctorate in Curriculum and Instruction from the University of Sarasota in Sarasota, Florida. God's Grace in the Midst of the Storms is the first published work of the author other than her dissertation. Dr. Covington's career has been in the field of education for more than thirty years. She presently works as a media specialist in an elementary school in Maryland. She is the wife of John and the mother of a daughter, Melissa. Her book is based on true events that took place in her family. Her strong faith in God grew as she and her family struggled through an extremely dark season in their lives.

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© 2011 Barbara A. Covington. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 5/2/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4520-9873-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-9872-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-9871-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010917544

Printed in the United States of America

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

A note from the Author

Dedication

Introduction

Background

Chapter 1

Growing Up In Monroe, North Carolina

Chapter 2

John And His Family

Chapter 3

Support In The Storm

Chapter 4

Our Marriage

Chapter 5

First Signs Of The Illness

Chapter 6

Acknowledging A Problem

After Moving To Maryland

Chapter 7

Looking Everywhere For Help

Chapter 8

The Voices

Chapter 9

Medications

Chapter 10

A Child Tries To Cope

Chapter 11

About Me

Chapter 12

Hospitalizations

Chapter 13

Keeping Safe

Chapter 14

Living Apart

Chapter 15

Finding Peace Together

Epilogue: Continued Journey

Appendix

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Reading this Book

A note from the Author

As you journey with my family and me through the world of schizophrenia, keep in mind that the individuals in the story are real. Included is all of what became and is a part of the structure of our family. It is my firm belief that members of a family share in the illness of any one member of a family who suffers with an illness.

This book was born out of a keen desire to be obedient to the will of God for my life. God put it in my heart that there is someone who needs to hear my story about my life with a husband living with schizophrenia. When John became very ill I had a fleeting though that I needed to tell this story. On August 17th God assured me that I needed to be about the work of fulfilling His will for me. Through all of the storms of living with a husband with such a dreaded illness as schizophrenia, there was hope. Because of God’s guidance I have presented most completely how I learned how to manage through the storms.

I knew that God was my help in the time of storms. I remembered that Jesus loved me because the Bible told me so, and not only that I knew that He loved me because he had shown His love for me over and over again in every area of my life. Leaning on my own understanding was not an option for me in the storms.

No matter how difficult the journey became I knew that the Savior was always beside me. In case I am misleading you into thinking that I was always brave and in control, there were many times that I thought I could not survive or go on. There were times in the storms when I lay awake with tears streaming down until the pillow was wet with tears. But in the midst of it all God calmed my soul and my very sinew so that I could get enough rest and renew my strength for next day. He prepared me for each challenge that I had to face the many years of John’s illness.

Once I experienced the vision on August 17th and God’s will for this book to be written, I faced many challenges within myself. Challenges of doubt about what people would think of my family and me. I was deeply concerned about how John would be treated by people once they read his story. I worried that people would think I made the story up. Worries and concerns have paralyzed me so many times on this journey of writing. Worry and concerns have hindered my writing sometimes for weeks.

God’s promise and His love for me are so great that I am still trying to take it all in. Most recently, I had a concern that troubled me and as I began to pray in the early morning I told God what was troubling me and then I said to Him, but You have so many other people to answer and so many prayers to listen to and answer that I should not trouble you with my concern. As I had this thought I then remembered how great God really is. He is that He is and that is enough for me. I am reminded of an old hymn title, What a Friend we Have in Jesus. The words to the hymn are:

What a friend we have in Jesus all our sins and griefs to bear

Jesus knows our every weakness, take it to the Lord in prayer

Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what pains we bear

All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

It is His will that I bring ALL my concerns and challenges to Him. I have tried to be faithful to the mandate of writing this book that God has ordained. Even when negative thoughts have come into my mind I have been restored to peace because Jesus cares for me.

This is not an analysis of the medical effects of schizophrenia, but rather a sharing of my life with my husband, who suffers with the disease. I pray that God may be glorified in the telling of our story.

Even as I think about my thoughts and fears while writing the book I am in total awe of how God works in my life and how He leads me in every way. I pray that you will read this book with your heart and your mind and that if there is someone that you know who needs to know about how God can make a way out of no way and how He is still blessing and answering prayer today as he did in the beginning, please share this book with them.

As you read, may the love and blessings of our Savior fill your hearts to try to understand the families that may be suffering with a family member going through the agony of this disease.

If you want to know more about this disease, schizophrenia, you can check the websites listed in the appendix.

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Dedication

The writing of our story is dedicated to the two people in my life who have traveled on this journey with me over thirty years.

To my husband, John, I dedicate this book with all my love. He has, through the good times and the bad times, been a good husband. He has celebrated my accomplishments and encouraged me to go as far as I could in my education. He has loved me with a love that is gentle and kind. I say with all sincerity that my life would never have been as blessed as it has been had he not been in my life.

To our daughter, Melissa, I dedicate the book and thank her for all the joy she has brought into my life. Her letter of love the night she read the first few pages expressed her caring and love and I was and am deeply moved by the purity of her heart and the words in her letter. (The letter is in the appendix.)

My deepest appreciation to the following people, who have encouraged me, read the manuscript for me and prayed for me as I have been obedient to the call of God.

Dr. Mary Williams, my dear sister and friend, thank you for your constant encouragement even when I had doubts and concerns about what others would think of me and my family upon reading the book. Thank you, dear Mary!

Sylvia D. Evans, my mentor, how can I thank you for the love you extend to me in every way. Thank you for the sanctuary and the safe haven you provided for Melissa and me and for the love you have given to me.

Dr. Jackie Magness and Dr. Elisabeth Roslewicz - what would I do without your friendship and your love? You have been steadfast friends through thick and thin. You have encouraged and praised my writing. Thank you for reading the manuscript as I continued to write.

A special thanks to the following people who have supported my efforts, prayed for the success of the book, and encouraged me to be obedient to the will of God:

D. Fleet

C.F. Williams

Thank you to Lucia Perillan, my acupuncturist, and Philomenia Queen, my massage therapist, who are my sisters in faith. Thank you for helping me to mend when I was terribly broken. Your love and celebration of my writing has given me great joy and constant encouragement.

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Introduction

This book was written to share with the reader what it is like for my family and me to cope with the diagnosis that my husband, John, is a person with schizophrenia. John and I have made our story public for readers who may have a loved one suffering with this devastating disease.

The reader will, we hope, learn about the schizophrenia first-hand from the person who