Comfort for Those Who Mourn

By Mark Van Schaack

Losing a loved one is the most devasting event anyone can experience. God is truly the final authority when it comes to dealing with grief. Learn how to refocus on life. Understand how to realize what has really happened to you. Plug back in to the things that really matter. You are not alone! Let the Great Shepherd lead you back to the present, remembering the past and hoping for the future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 6, 2008
• ISBN: 9781467046824

Mark Van Schaack

The author lives in florida with his wife of 30 years. Spent years learning about Bible and been involved with local church. Oldest daughter was killed in 1997 in an accident. He has written other works dealing with spiritual matters. He has lead groups and speaks on various issues. Also has done extensive traveling in US.

Book preview

Contents

INTRODUCTION

MY STORY

ONLY A PRAYER AWAY

GENEALOGY

GRIEVING: 10 YEARS LATER

WHY TRAGEDY OCCURS

GOD’S LOVE

HIMSELF

WERE THEY SAVED

THE REALITY OF HEAVEN AND HELL

TRUSTING GOD

DO NOT BE AFRAID

JESUS CHRIST IS RISEN

THE BLESSED HOPE

DEALING WITH EMOTIONS

TOMORROW

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

It is inevitable that as we walk this life that everyone of us will experience loss at one point or another. As time does not stand still, we will all age and eventually die. This writing is concerned with how we cope with the death of someone we love or know or just heard about. Whether it is a friend, a parent, a child, someone we work with, or a stranger, their passing may affect us in a way or a depth we had not dreamed or anticipated. We will all go through certain degrees of grief, from a short, quick reflection about a person, to a long gut wrenching period that completely devastates us.

Many factors will help us determine how we will grieve. Was the passing due to a long term sickness or old age? Was it due to a tragic incident or an accident? Maybe it was a suicide? Do you feel responsible or partly to blame? Do you think that if you had done something different, this person would still be alive? Was this person prepared to go, did they have their affairs in order? Or was the death sudden and abrupt with no opportunity to say goodbye?

Do you have well meaning friends who think they understand what you are going through, as you grieve, yet haven’t a clue as to what is really happening to you. They say such things that cause more pain and hurt to you. You come to a point where you confess that no one understands where you are and no one really cares. Even your church has deserted you it would seem. They were there for you when you first suffered the loss. They brought you meals and kept you company during the first days but where are they now? Don’t they know that this is a long term dilemma? Are you all alone now? Don’t they know that this death forces you to make unforeseen adjustments to your life? Financially and socially your life has changed forever, never to be the same again.

There is hope. God has given us mechanisms and facts about death and dying, heaven and hell, perspective and timing in His Word. Nothing that has occurred is beyond the scope of God’s plan and purpose. He that knows the end from the beginning was not caught unaware of the troubles that have befallen you. Listen and learn as you allow God to speak into your heart and life so that you may transcend your grief into the fullness of an abundant life. This season will come to an end and a special place will be reserved inside you to remember the struggles and trials and God’s grace which is more than enough to overcome any obstacle. Let the fondness of the memory for the deceased individual become a rich memorial to that person. Come to the place where depression flees and heaviness departs because you now understand what life is all about. Let these chapters change the way you see the world around you. This is an adventure where we will laugh and cry and be healed all at the same time.

MY STORY

It was the night of April 8, 1997 at approximately nine-thirty P.M. that my pager sounded. It was my wife calling me from my home in Florida while I was in Albany, New York. She usually would never page me unless there was an emergency situation presenting itself. When I called her back on the phone my wife informed me that my eighteen year old daughter Natalie had been in a car accident and that she was unconscious. It was just a few hours later that I learned that Natalie had been killed instantly in that car crash. It was at that moment that darkness descended upon my soul and I cried out to God. My worst nightmare had come true! I was booked on the next flight back to Florida. And as I traveled I wondered how the God in whom we trusted could allow this to happen to us. The next few days were the most difficult days to live through. Having to make decisions on plots, funeral plans, caskets and informing family members, friends and relatives in such a short time in the midst of deep sorrow and mourning was both awkward and unsettling. It was also extremely difficult facing the truth that she was gone because we missed her so. Natalie was so full of life, a very creative personality. She had taken Ballet since the age of six and loved to dance before the Lord. She was very artistic and had made some of the most amazing drawings. After High School her first job was working at Universal Studio’s in a photography shop where she could express her creativity. She was making plans for her future when her life was cut short. Interestingly, the passenger in her car at the time of the accident only received a scratch on her elbow. Her death seemed tragic in our eyes and yet we knew God was in control. The way the accident happened, the timing of the accident, and the way it affected others for Christ demonstrated to us God’s hand. Through all of this we experienced the comfort, love and grace of God. At first we thought that God might raise her from the dead but inside we felt that that wasn’t to be. God began to speak to me about how our times are in His hands. He taught me about His Sovereignty and His Lordship. He revealed to us how great His love is for us and for Natalie while we live on the earth and when we go to be with Him. He shared how He had plans for Natalie that we couldn’t understand until we went home ourselves. He said that the flesh thinks; tragedy, but the spirit thinks; coming home, promotion, absent from the body means being present with the Lord Jesus, our beloved. After Jesus rose from the dead there is no where mentioned in the New Testament that anyone who dies in Christ is referred to as dead but to be merely asleep, that is, the body sleeps but the soul lives. The person is alive with God. The pain and grief associated with loss is still very real to us but God makes the difference. When I think of Natalie now, I think of her dancing before her Lord, face to face, sharing in the grace of heaven. Having lived on earth, now in heaven she is more alive now than she has ever been. And for the rest of us I say, Come quickly Lord Jesus.

ONLY A PRAYER AWAY

She was born a little gift, the blessing of the Lord. The Firstborn. From the beginning we loved her. She was the answer to our unspoken prayer. As she grew and developed she became our little treasure. She reflected our hopes and prayers. Her worth beyond measure. We taught her about Jesus and she became a believer too. We were proud of our little daughter who looked just like us.

As a young lady, she was a sparkle in her fathers’ eye and her mothers’ daughter. She would dance for Jesus. She would read her Bible and pray. We knew that we were just stewards of such precious life. For children are the heritage of the Lord and are not to be taken for granted. Children are the Lord’s reward. Then as a full grown woman yet still young in her years, the sovereign Lord saw her as the apple of His eye and saw fit to take her to her mansion in the sky. To dance before him forever as her mom and dad pray knowing that she is only a prayer away. It has now been some time since our daughter went home. The loss and pain we have suffered has caused us to grow. We are glad to know that she’ll be there when we arrive home. It comforts us for now to know that she is only a prayer away. We still sense her presence from time to time knowing she is only a prayer away.

A prayer away, a prayer away, though your loved one has crossed the veil they are only a prayer away. In the arms of Jesus safe and secure, we have His promise and it shall endure. The soul that trusts in Him is not dead but only a prayer away. Death is not the end, for we shall meet again and be reunited