The Final Journey

By Adam Lee D'Amato-Neff and Tracy R. McElligott

Tracy McElligott is dying. This is the profound true life account of her experiences in dealing with her illness, her lung transplant at Stanford University, and recovery. During this crisis, she must struggle with the love and care for her two young children and undergo a divorce. In this dark time comes the love of her life, a modern-day knight in shining armour.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 14, 2002
• ISBN: 9781475901283

Adam Lee D'Amato-Neff

Adam lives in Northern Virginia with his wife and two children. He is currently working on several writing projects.

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The Final Journey

All Rights Reserved © 2002 by Tracy R. McElligott & Adam Lee D’Amato-Neff

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher.

Writers Club Press

an imprint of iUniverse, Inc.

For information address:

iUniverse, Inc.

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Lincoln, NE 68512

www.iuniverse.com

ISBN: 0-595-22878-X

ISBN: 978-1-4759-0128-3 (eBook)

Contents

EPIGRAPH

FOREWORD

PREFACE

EDITORIAL METHOD

INTRODUCTION

TRANSPLANTATION: THE REALITY

THE FINAL JOURNEY

WHEN THE SALMON SPOKE

C.G. JUNG, MYTHOLOGY, & RELIGION

ALCOHOLISM

DEPRESSION

REMEMBER & SURVIVE

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

NOTES

This book is dedicated to all the recipients who’ve been through this ordeal, all the candidates desperately awaiting their chance, and all of the wonderful families who’ve given the gift of life at the most agonizing of times for them to do so.

EPIGRAPH

All that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity.

William Shakespeare, Hamlet

FOREWORD

There are no words to describe my feelings for my wife Tracy. I feel I am the luckiest man there is. Our love was true and honest. Meeting Tracy in the midst of my life can only be described as God’s wishes. Tracy is the one true love of my life. She and my two daughters have been a blessing in my life. We had good times and bad times of which neither I regret. I am thankful that I was there to love and help Tracy, Ashley, and Brittany through this difficult time. I want my daughters to know that their mother is the most courageous and incredible women and still is. I would not have been able to make it through this without the love and help from my mother, family, and friends. I especially thank all my friends and co-workers from Costco #41 in Santa Rosa California and Costco #91 Davie Florida. I cannot tell you in words how much I appreciate their love and support. I am thankful they were there to listen and help me reach understanding. I look back now and wonder what were they all thinking. Is he crazy, is he going to brake down, can he handle all of this. God does not give us more than we can handle. God gave me the special gift of love for another person that in turn made me strong. In looking into my daughter’s eyes each and every day I thank God for giving me the strength to carry on.

Dan McElligott/Husband

PREFACE

This book is a unique work in many ways. Of greatest note, it is a first hand experience of the life and trials of a woman finding out about an illness, her subsequent lung transplant, and later death. It is her feelings, her pain, and her love that show the tenacity and conviction often overlooked in human nature. It is not a Hollywood picture, nor a dramatized novel attempting to appease some editorial board in hopes of making the best selling list; it is reality. Every possible effort has been made not to alter the original manuscript from Tracy’s writing style. I know that everyone she loved (especially Dan, Ashley, & Brittany) will hold these words in their hearts for the rest of their lives.

The latter portion of the book is the effect of death on the human psyche. Comments, feelings, memories and other pieces are presented by members of Tracy’s family.

So enjoy. It is a journey of sadness, joy, mystique, contemplation, and reflective insight.

{Adam}

EDITORIAL METHOD

This book was edited and reviewed by Dan McElligott & Adam D’Amato-Neff

INTRODUCTION

A brother’s note:

In all the trials of a broken family, a twisted life, and the pain of a dying body, I never knew a soul more loving and giving of themselves. She was a mother, a tutor, and a friend; always full of life and vigor. It would be a lie to say her tongue didn’t sting, and to condone her on her tact, but in her blunt and vivacious headstrong way she was a beacon for many of us who knew her to follow. It was this light that helped me through dark times, and even when at death’s door she walked through stoically with the brave conviction that would humble any soldier.

TRANSPLANTATION: THE REALITY

It all started in January of 1992. I had gone to a friend’s poker party and was in the hot tub. I began to feel overheated and dizzy, but attributed that to drinking and the heat of the hot tub. The last thing I remembered was casually telling someone that I felt like I was going to pass out. When I came to, everyone was standing over me packing my head and chest in ice. My brother, who at that time was training to become an operating room technician, was frantically trying to locate a pulse. Apparently, I had been unconscious for about seven minutes and everyone was sure that I was dead. I really frightened them when I woke up! I had a terrible burning pain in my chest and felt extremely nauseated, but was able to convince everyone that I was fine. They went back to their partying and I went home to bed. My chest continued to hurt throughout the night, but began to alleviate in the morning. I was later told that I was lucky to not have died that night as my heart had indeed stopped.

Two weeks later, February 1992, I went to a Rod Stewart concert at the Oakland Coliseum. As my friends and I were rushing to the bathroom with just minutes to spare, I began to get winded and dizzy. Instead of slowing down to catch my breath, I just continued and passed out as I reached the bathroom door.

I awoke from a haze with several strangers standing over me trying to convince my friends that I was having a seizure. As I struggled to sit up and explain that no I was not having a seizure, a couple of security guards hurried over thinking I was a drug overdose victim or something. Again, I had been drinking and just attributed the episode to being out of shape. I was extremely embarrassed because I had wet my pants and lost control of my bowels. As disgusting as that may sound, it made me realize something must be wrong in order for my body to completely shut down as it had. I was concerned, yet still not convinced enough to see a doctor about it. I convinced everyone that I was okay and promised to see a doctor for a check up never really intending to do so.

The following Monday as I climbed the flight of stairs to my office, I again became dizzy and short of breath. As I stopped to catch my breath I was able to recall several instances in which I had felt this way but had just attributed it to being overweight and out of shape. I had never put any thought into the situation at the time. As I thought back, I remembered more than just a few instances over the last two years which may be related to an obviously increasing problem. I decided to make an appointment for a general exam with my family doctor.

When I went for the appointment, I did not expect anything terribly unusual to occur. He detected what he thought might be a heart murmur but said that was quite common and could be regulated with medicine and not interfere in any way with my normal life. He scheduled me for an echocardiogram with a heart specialist just to be sure that was the problem. I wanted to be seen as soon as possible just to get it over with and be told there was nothing more seriously wrong with me.

After the procedure, (which is just like a sonogram, but of the heart), I asked the technician if everything looked normal. She simply stated that I should get dressed and she would give the results for the doctor