The Night My Childhood Ended, Part 2 In today’s podcast, we present the second half of the therapy session with Todd, who did personal work focused on the impact of a traumatic event that ended his childhood when he was eight. Last week, we presented the T = Testing and E = Empathy phase of the session. Today we present the A = Assessment of Resistance, M = Methods, final testing, and teaching points. A = Assessment of Resistance Todd’s goal was to be able to feel more vulnerability by the end of the session. During the Positive Reframing, we listed the positives that were embedded in Todd’s negative thoughts and feelings. My sadness shows my humanity. My sadness shows my commitment to family. I put others before me and value the time people are taking by listening to this session. I challenge myself to work on myself. My negative thoughts and feelings make me a more loving husband and parent, and a more committed and effective therapist. I love my mom and want to protect her. I have high standards. Although I feel like I was and still am “a frickin’ coward,” sharing this shows tremendous courage. As you listen, you’ll see that it was incredibly difficult for Todd to see anything positive in the fact that he was that calling himself a coward. He kept thinking that he “should” have gone in earlier to try to help and save his mother, and that this might have changed the entire trajectory of his life. At the same time, he conceded that he was just a little guy, and that his father was an incredibly frightening and intimidating figure. You can see Todd’s Daily Mood Log at the end of A = Assessment of Resistance (link). As you can see, he wanted to reduce all of his negative feelings quite dramatically, but he wanted his sadness to remain at 100%, because he wanted to be able to feel this emotion and grieve. M = Methods Jill and I tried a variety of techniques during the Methods phase of the session, including a new version of the Double Standard Technique. I played the role of the 8-year old Todd, and he played the role of himself. I verbalized all of his Negative Thoughts, “But isn’t it true that I rally was a frickin’ coward?” and challenged him to crush them. This helped Todd get in touch with his compassionate and realistic self. You can see his final Daily Mood Log. As you can see, there was a dramatic reduction in all of his negative thoughts except sadness, which fell to 80%. You will recall that his goal for sadness was 100%. There were lots of positive messages for Todd throughout the session in the chat box. There were many outpourings of love and admiration for Todd's courage and vulnerability. We sent those messages to him after the end of the session, and that was when the tears finally came. Here’s an email we received from him after the session. What an evening! I just saw the video again and I was so blown away from the amazing love and support I felt from all of you last night. I also was able to tear up a bit when I was reading all of the heart felt chats that Alex had shared with me. I would give all of you an A+ on empathy for sure. Finally, I'm so grateful to JIll and David for their compassion, and for helping me reconnect with little Todd and feel much closer to all of you. What an awesome night and group! Brandon Vance MD sent a link to a song one of his students created, and Todd responded to it: Last night, it was so awesome to listen to the musical recording that your student so beautifully shared with us. I'm not one to cry very easily, but I was so moved by the lyrics and the emotions in that song. I've been so amazed at how you continuously evolve TEAM in so many wonderful and creative ways. Kudos! Here's the link to the song if you'd like to listen! I also found it moving and beautiful. Cassie Kellogg is the performer and songwriter, and her song is called Double Standard, which is the method that proved so helpful for Todd. Some interesting information about Brandon and Cassie, as well as the wo