Tales of a Woman's Struggle

By Josephine Rose Newton

Tales of a Womans Struggle Josephine Rose Newton

Trials and tribulations come in all shapes and sizes. Whether you are dealing with unexpected pregnancy, divorce of the death of a family member, you will find solace in Josephine Rose Newtons book Tales of a Womans Struggle. Her fabulous characters are well-crafted and really speak to the distresses women encounter in their lives.

Women face unique struggles with which men do not relate. While men feel pain during divorces or the deaths of loved ones, they cannot understand exactly what women are going through in similar situations. Newtons short stories are touching and every woman can find a little of herself in each character. The characters are like ourselves, our mothers, our aunts and our best friends each calling out for understanding and empathy.

Newtons writing style is easy to read, which makes it easy to open the heart. You may be a Nora who has been faithful her entire life, but is crippled by loss. You could be a Jill who seems to face multiple trials and is unable to see where her life will lead. You may even be a Lily who always thought her life would be something that never panned out.

Each character has her faith tested in different ways, but in the end finds her strength in her walk with God. Faith is tried over and over again, when we think we are finally through, we find there is another test waiting for us. No matter what test of faith you are experiencing, in Tales of a Womans Struggle, you will find one of these artfully crafted characters with whom you can identify.

We women understand how important it is to be strong for our families and Newtons book is the perfect place to strengthen and recharge your faith. Whether you read the book to energize your own faith or give it to a woman you love, you will not be disappointed by Newtons short story collection.

Todd Rutherford
AskthePublishingGuru.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 10, 2010
• ISBN: 9781449705763

Josephine Rose Newton

Josephine Rose Newton was born in Nassau, and raised on San Salvador; a quaint and tranquil island nestled in the southeastern Bahamas. San Salvador. As a child she had a passion for writing and in 2003 she decided to write her first novel. She recalls her words flowing like rain falling from the sky. Inspired by her children, grandchildren, her dog Jaggie and the untimely passing of her to beloved coon hounds. What was all a dream, that day became her reality.

Book preview

Finding a Miracle

CHAPTER ONE

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FINDING A MIRACLE

Nora St John found herself drifting deeper into dark despair, struggling silently under the weight of unbearable grief and pain. With a warm bottle of Jim Beam, her only companion now, she waited for the cold hands of death; the only thing that she thought could end the agony of her so-called life.

Neil Ambrister looked at his grandmother with growing dismay. For hours now, he had watched her drain her whiskey glass, swallowing her misery. He knew why she drank why she drowned herself in the sea of amber liquid. He stretched his hand over the top of her glass when she tried to refill it.

I think you‘ve had enough, he said, gently.

Knowing her frail fingers could do nothing about his vice-like grip on her glass; she instead lifted the bottle to her lips and drank deeply, defiantly.

Grandma, please, Neil pleaded, reaching for the bottle.

Minutes passed. She did not relinquish her grip right away. Her soul was still raw, burning. She desperately needed the liquor, needed to be numb, but the pain in her grandson’s voice slowly brought her from the edge. When he tried to move the bottle again, she didn’t fight him, and when he took it into the kitchen she didn’t scream at him, though every molecule in her body begged her to.

When he returned to her side, Nora was weeping openly.

I’m so sorry, she wailed. It’s entirely my fault.

Grandma, please don’t talk like that. It was an accident. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to grandpa.

If it weren’t for me, my Logan would still be alive. I should have listened to him.

Neil had heard this before. No matter how hard he tried, he could not convince his grandmother that she was not responsible for his grandfather’s death months earlier.

Sessions with a grief counselor were just as fruitless. Death, the counselor had told him early on in his grandmother’s treatment, was more difficult for some people to accept than others. Nora had to learn to accept Logan’s death, had to realize that there was nothing she could do to prevent it. She had to learn to forgive herself. The counselor had assured him that, in time, his grandmother would heal.

He had begun to hope that his grandmother would return to being the powerful woman of God he had known all his life. But as the days turned into months, he began to doubt if she would ever fully recover. All time had seemed to do was make her emotional wounds fester and turn her into a guilt-ridden, alcohol-swilling shadow of her former self.

Before the accident, his grandmother had been larger than life, a woman with the strength of Samson and the faith and patience of Job. There were just no others like his grandmother. She was always the first to say hello and the last to say good-bye. She was loved by all who knew her.

She was a modern-day Dorcas, helping those in need, spearheading events to raise money for battered women and children and volunteering her free time at the local orphanage, retirement home and even at the hospital, where she spread the Word of God like a slave over patients with terminal cancer and AIDS. Nora always seemed to have a special place in her heart for children. Neil could still see her now, sitting on the porch in her rocking chair, surrounded by all the neighborhood children, animatedly telling Bible stories to the younger ones, and as president of the youth department at her church, dispensing advice on life, relationships and Christianity to the teenagers and young adults. Neil remembered something she said once to a grieving young mother at a funeral .The woman had just lost one of her sons, a bright boy not much older than Neil at the time, in a hit-and run accident.

Nora was familiar with this kind of grief. She had lost her only daughter Sarah and her son-in-law, Neil’s mother and father, to a drunk driver when Neil was barley six months old. Though her heart must have been torn into a thousand pieces that day she accepted God’s will and threw herself wholeheartedly into caring for and nurturing Neil and anyone who needed her in the community, the power to heal having come from her own ability to care.

That day was no different. She wrapped the wailing woman in her arms, and speaking in a low voice and a soothing tone, quoted one of the prophets, he couldn’t remember which, who said that the Lord would console those who mourn, would give them beauty for ashes and oil of joy in the place of mourning and garment of praise to lift their heavy spirits. Such comforting words, Neil thought to himself. Too bad grandma is too overwhelmed with misplaced guilt and grief to follow her own advice.

CHAPTER TWO

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NEIL REMEMBERS HER WORDS OF WISDOM

His grandmother spent countless times talking with the youths of Riverside Baptist church where she was the president of the youth department. Grandma would often tell them this: Becoming a Christian is easy, but to live the life is another thing. It’s like entering a maze with numerous paths to choose from. You cannot take more than one path in the maze at once, nor can you live out your lives both in obedience to God and according to your own selfish desires. You may even run into a dead end in life because you made a bad decision and end up feeling a great amount of remorse. When this happens you can decide whether to stay in your dead end and regret the past, or turn around and search for the right passage. Sometimes we get stuck in a dead end because we just can’t imagine that God would forgive us for our sins, but know that his love for all of us is unmerited and His grace is sufficient. As he looked back he could hear her calling all the children in the neighborhood and having them all sit around her as she told them stories from the Bible. The stories were all wonderful. Some of them made the children cry and some made them laugh.

Grandma had a unique way of doing things. Her words of wisdom were like anointed oil and food for the hungry

CHAPTER THREE

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MEMORIES ARE LIKE

FRESH AIR

Neil’s grandpa and grandmother had a wonderful marriage. He remembered her saying, My son, marriages are blessed by God, and whatever we put in it we get out of it. If we put Christ into it then that’s what we get. We get all the wonders God has for us. We have His peace, the comfort of His love and we have harmony with ourselves. Our lives will be afresh every morning just like the dew that falls from heavens, so would our love be. If we put the world in it then we sow corruption. Because people lust after the flesh then marriages are doomed. If we only live in accordance to God’s laws for marriage then there is no reason for separation or divorce.

His grandparents lived a life that was pleasing in God’s sight. They filled the house with much warmth and love. They would tell him stories about his mom and dad. His grandmother would say, Neil darling, your coming into this world was a special gift for your parents. Your mother and dad called you their miracle baby. It broke my heart when they died.

Neil wanted to ask how they died, but because of the pain she loss his grandmother found it difficult to talk about it. Grandma went silent her eyes filled with tears.

His grandfather said, Child, they did not see it coming. A drunk driver ran the red light and hit them face-on. In an instant your parents were gone.

But grandpa, Neil said, I can’t remember anything about my parents.

How could you, child, you were just six months old. But know that your mom and dad loved you very much.

Neil remembered his grandmother’s words. Compassion is the mother of miracles. The power to heal is in the power to care. If you feel like you are a broken arrow, please allow someone into the storm. You may not often allow anyone to come to your aid because someone breached your trust. It may have left you wary of every one, but the wall you built to protect yourself has also imprisoned you.

His grandmother knew exactly what to say, but now it seemed that no one could save her from her own walls.

CHAPTER FOUR

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SECRET SORROWS CREATE INVISIBLE STRONGHOLDS

Nora allowed the devil’s lies to trap her in a world of despair and fear. Her guilt would forever keep her hidden in a dark and dreary place. She had forgotten the words of the prophet where he said that the Lord will console those who mourn in Zion, give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. She had forgotten those words that she told others so many times.

Nora tossed and turned in her bed. Sleep would not come to her. The alcohol in her system was not enough to blur her memories or take the edge off the pain those recollections brought. Her mind was too active, mercilessly replaying the events of the night she lost Logan, over and over again like a scratched disk.

Nora murmured, Oh, how I loved him.

Do not worry grandmother, get some rest, Neil replied.

As she lay in her bed with eyes filled with tears, she recalls the night Logan died as if it was yesterday. The floodgate of her guilt came crashing down around her.

It was a cold Christmas Eve. Nora, Logan and Neil were coming home from a gospel concert. The drive back home was peaceful and serene. There was something so comforting about the combination of the twinkling stars above as they were all settled in their places, the moon giving a radiant glow that lit up the earth, the low rumble of their beat-up but faithful old car below and the deep voice of her husband, humming absently as he drove.

Grandma turned to Neil and said, Did you enjoy the concert, little tiger? Neil always loved it when his grandma called him her little tiger.

Neil smiled and said, Yes, Grandma, I enjoyed it very much.

Just as they were just about to pull into the driveway, Nora forgot that she had to buy bread. She turned to Logan and said, Would you be a dear and dash back to the store for bread and milk?

Logan was exhausted and quietly asked Nora if he could get it in the morning. However, she insisted until he finally gave in.

If Nora could have only seen the future, she would never have insisted that Logan go back out, and he would be alive, and the twisted road of despair Nora found herself in would not have taken place.

Several hours later, there was a knock on the door. Logan, is that you, did you forget your keys again?

No, Mrs. Nora, it’s Deputy Frank. Can I come in?

Why, yes, Frank, just a second, Lora said as she unlocked the door.

Deputy Frank, what brings you out on a cold night such as this? Shouldn’t you be in bed all snuggled up with a hot cup of coffee and a dash of brandy in it?

Deputy Frank smiled but his smile was sad. Oh Nora, Deputy Frank said, I’ve come with sad news.

What is it, Frank?

But all Deputy Frank kept saying was Oh, Miss Nora.

Frank, for heaven’s sake, you are frightening me. Please tell me!

I am so, so sorry but there has been an accident.

Frank. What accident? What are you talking about?

I don’t know how to tell you, what happened to Logan.

For heaven’s sake, Frank, just come right out and say it what ever it is. Deputy Frank took Nora hands. Come, Nora, sit down.

No Frank, I don’t want to sit down. For God’s sake just come right out and tell me whatever it is!

Oh Nora. It’s Logan!

Wha what about Logan?

Oh, my dear Nora, Logan is dead!

Frank! What are you talking about? Logan can’t be dead. Logan is at the store and he should be pulling up at any minute now.

No, Mrs. Nora, Logan won’t be coming home, not today, not ever. It all happened on his way back from the store.

Frank, what happened on his way back?

Mrs. Nora… the accident… the report is not so clear, how it all happened. The doctor at the scene said Logan had suffered a heart attack which caused him to lose control of his car. His car plunged into a tree. The doctor said he did not suffer much. The doctor speculated that had he been at home, he would have survived the heart attack with proper medical attention, but the injuries he sustained in the collision were definitely fatal. Oh, Nora, I am so very sorry.

Logan had left at her request. He had gone back out just to please his wife and now he was dead. It was all her fault.

For Nora reality had stepped in, forcing her to accept the truth about Logan’s death. Nora put her hands on her head and screamed. She was grief-stricken, but she was also intensely angry, angry with herself for dismissing Logan’s words.

Please, Frank, tell me, its all some mistake! It’s not my Logan, no, not my darling Logan!

The pain Nora felt was unbearable. The guilt was too much for her to carry. She kept on saying Not my darling Logan.

Mrs. Nora, I know this is too much, but I need you to come down to the morgue to identify the body.

With tearful eyes and a racing heart, Nora and the deputy went to the Central Morgue only to find the dreadful news to be true. Nora fell on her knees and wept bitterly, and at that very moment Nora lost the two most precious things she held so dear to her heart: her husband of forty years, and more importantly, her faith in God. She felt angry with God after she had given herself wholeheartedly and unselfishly to others.

Ever since the night Nora had lost her two most treasured things she was never the same. She had built that wall she once talked about and had imprisoned herself.

CHAPTER FIVE

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HER LOST FAITH

Nora seemed to lose the will to live. All the things that had been important to her fell into neglect. She shut her family and friends out and no longer volunteered or got involved in Neil’s school activities. She also stopped attending church.

Nora found comfort in bottles of whiskey. She lost her will to work. She had forgotten those she loved. Nora felt as if she was in a dark tunnel and the bridge that held together all those wonderful years was gone. The light that once burned bright had vanished.

Nora just gave up the will to live.

The neighbors were concerned; they told her, Nora, it’s not good to shut your family and friends out. But Nora just didn’t care anymore. Her beloved Logan was gone; the guilt of his death continued to drive her further and further away from God. Even the pastors and members from New Hope Mission would tell her, Oh Nora, please, please do not give up on God. God still cares. But the only things that grew were the piles of whiskey bottles in the recycling bin and her despair. Nora allowed the bitterness to consume her and fill her with hate .She hated herself. Most of all, she hated her life such as it was.

Nora retorted, Where was God when I needed him? He took my Logan away.

Mrs. Grant, her long-time friend, answered, Oh no, no, Nora, it was Logan’s time.

You are a foolish old woman, Liz Grant. It was not his time to go. He did not even say goodbye, she added. If you continue to talk like that in my house I would prefer you not come back. That goes for the rest of you. Anyway, I think you all should leave my house and not ever come back. I would like to drink my whiskey in peace.

Nora, Liz said, the answer is not in those bottles. God loves you so much.

But Nora refused to listen. Please, Liz, just stop saying God cares. He didn’t care, he just didn’t care!

Oh Mrs. Nora, but he does cares. As sudden as it might seem, Logan passed away because it was his time. He didn’t suffer long. You must accept his death. It’s the only way you will be able to move on.

Mary said, Come, Sister Nora, come Sister Jess and Sister Betty, come let’s pray. Sister Nora is in a hard place now, and if there ever was a time that she needed the Lord, it is now. She has let her grief overwhelm her. However, Nora did not want them to pray for her so she pushed them out.

Nora had covered her hurt and allowed the bitterness to consume her and fill her with hate. She walked away from God, not allowing God’s love to shine through her or His divine healing so He could be a source of comfort to her in her hour of despair. All she wanted to do was to bury her hurt in bottles of whiskey.

Nora was once a strong Christian. But after Logan’s death, she felt as if she had nothing to live for.

Neil closed his eyes and hoped that when he wakes up there would be no empty bottles lying all over the floor, and he would hear her humming her favorite song, Amazing Grace. Every day, however, was the same. His school sent home note after note but his grandmother just put them aside and not bother looking at them. Nora just didn’t care. The neighbors were concerned about it but she didn’t heed them anymore.

CHAPTER SIX

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AMIDST THE EMPTINESS

It was mid-terms. Neil came home early from school to find his grandmother lying on her own vomit. She was always like this after her alcoholic binge became more and more common. It broke his heart. He was glade his grandpa was dead so he couldn’t see what his grandma had become.

Without a word he dragged her into the bathroom to clean her up. He put fresh clothes on her and put her in the bed to sleep it off. Silently he said Oh, grandmother, why, why do you keep drinking so much? You need to get help. He kissed her on the cheeks. If not you’re going to destroy yourself. I’m just so happy grandpa is not here to see you like this.

Oh child, don’t talk about my Logan. Come pass me that bottle of whiskey on the table, she muttered.

No grandma, he said adamantly. Don’t you think you’ve had enough? And you’ve been lying in your own vomit all day. As he was closing the door to her room, he said, I’ll clean the house and cook supper for the both of us. He went into the kitchen. It was just the way he left it the night before spotless. No plates or forks in the sink. No pots or