The Proverbs Principle

By Shari Grenier

The 31st chapter of the Book of Proverbs changes the way we look at women in Old Testament times. The Proverbs 31 woman was not a second-class citizen. She was an equal partner to her loving husband, a cherished mother to her children, and a successful business woman. She was the wife of a prominent man, and she helped those less fortunate. She created a lovely home for her family, made them beautiful clothing, and prepared gourmet meals.

Was she some sort of a Biblical Superwoman? Not at allshe was a well-rounded woman who had a sense of priorities and still found time for herself. Although she lived three thousand years ago, the Proverbs 31 woman is a relevant role model for todays woman.

The Proverbs Principle is a blueprint for your way of life, based upon the role model of the Proverbs 31 woman. But it goes much further than the Biblical passages. It offers ways to live a more fulfilling life in todays busy world, and covers every aspect of a womans lifeher relationship with God...marriage and motherhood...family and personal finances...self-improvement...health, beauty and fashion...homemaking and decorating...charity... career...in thirty-one chapters!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Apr 20, 2008
• ISBN: 9780595917280

Shari Grenier

Shari Grenier spent over ten years as one of the Toronto areas foremost wedding planners, before she turned her attention toward certifying other wedding consultants. Her business interests now include Proverbs 31 Lifestyles, encompassing all aspects of home and family life, including weddings. Through her website, www.sharigrenier.com, Shari offers her wedding planner certification course, virtual wedding planning for brides, vow renewal services, and the opportunity to have her perform your wedding ceremony! Shari lives in Ajax, Ontario, Canada, with her husband, Dave Grenier.

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Copyright © 2008, 2013 Shari Grenier

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ISBN: 978-0-595-47454-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-0-595-50011-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-0-595-91728-0 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 07/05/2013

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

PART 1 PROVERBS 31 FOR CENTURY 21

Chapter 1 Living Proverbs 31 In Today’s World

PART 2 DEFINING THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN

Chapter 2 Worth More Than Rubies

Chapter 3 Her Relationship With God

Chapter 4 Strength And Dignity

Chapter 5 Forgiving And Forgiven

Chapter 6 Confidence In The Future

Chapter 7 Wisdom And Kindness

Chapter 8 The Heart Of Her Husband

Chapter 9 Her Children Call Her Blessed

Chapter 10 The Other People In Her Life

Chapter 11 Hearth And Home

Chapter 12 She Provides Food For Her Family

Chapter 13 Clothing Her Family

Chapter 14 Health And Beauty, Inside And Out

Chapter 15 She Reaches Out To The Needy

Chapter 16 Give Her Of The Fruit Of Her Hands

Chapter 17 The Many Fine Things She Does

PART 3 LIVING PROVERBS 31

Chapter 18 Becoming A Proverbs 31 Woman

Chapter 19 Worshipping Your Proverbs 31 God

Chapter 20 Loving Your Proverbs 31 Husband

Chapter 21 Raising A Proverbs 31 Family

Chapter 22 Forming Proverbs 31 Friendships

Chapter 23 Looking Like The Proverbs 31 Woman

Chapter 24 Developing A Proverbs 31 Work Ethic

Chapter 25 Enjoying A Proverbs 31 Lifestyle

Chapter 26 Are You A Proverbs 31 Woman?

PART 4 CREATING A PROVERBS 31 HOME

Chapter 27 A Place For Everything And Everything In Its Place

Chapter 28 Good Housekeeping

Chapter 29 Quick Ways To Add The Proverbs 31 Touch To Each Room In Your Home

Chapter 30 La Cuisine

Chapter 31 The Proverbs 31 Woman On The Move

APPENDIX PROVERBS 31:10-31 FROM VARIOUS TRANSLATIONS

The Message

The Living Bible

New American Standard Bible

New Living Translation

New King James Version

Young’s Literal Translation

Darby Translation

New International Version—Uk

King James Version

Webster’s Bible

Holman Christian Standard Bible

New Revised Standard Version

New International Version

21St Century King James Version

The Expanded Bible

God’s Word Translation

Lexham English Bible

New International Reader’s Version

To Dave, my Proverbs 31 man…

To my daughter Laura,

who is developing her own Proverbs Principles…

And to my late mother, who provided me with a first-hand

look at a real Proverbs 31 woman

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright©1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from New Living Translation, copyright©1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Living Bible copyright©1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message, copyright© by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version—UK® Copyright©1979, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, Today’s New International Version®. Copyright©2001, 2005 by Biblica®. Used by permission of Biblica®. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL READER’S VERSION®.Copyright © 1996, 1998 Biblica. All rights reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of Biblica.

Scripture taken from the 21st Century King James Version®, copyright©1994. Used by permission of Deuel Enterprises, Inc., Gary, SD 57237. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright©1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Scripture taken from the New America Standard Bible®, Copyright©1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture taken from The Expanded Bible. Copyright © 2011 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from GOD’S WORD®, © 1995 God’s Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (LEB) are from the Lexham English Bible. Copyright 2012 Logos Bible Software. Lexham is a registered trademark of Logos Bible Software.

Young’s Literal Translation, The King James Version, The Darby Translation, and Webster’s Bible are public domain.

INTRODUCTION

1973 was a milestone year for me. I celebrated my sixteenth birthday…I began a high school romance with Dave Grenier…and I discovered the Proverbs 31 woman. Her priorities were God, her husband and children, the management of her household, the operation of her business, the welfare of those less fortunate, and her own needs. She sounds a lot like you and me!

The Proverbs Principle is the name I have given to the blueprint by which I live my life—a philosophy inspired by the Proverbs 31 woman. It’s no coincidence that this book has thirty-one chapters! These thirty-one chapters have been conveniently arranged into sections:

•   PROVERBS 31 IN CENTURY 21: How Proverbs 31 can be relevant in today’s changing world

•   DEFINING THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN: An in-depth look at the era in which she lived and the values that shaped her personality

•   LIVING PROVERBS 31: How you can apply Proverbs 31 to your own life

•   CREATING A PROVERBS 31 HOME: Practical advice to help you organize, clean, and decorate your home

•   APPENDIX: Proverbs 31:10-31 from eighteen different translations, allowing you to explore the nuances and discover the one that is most meaningful to you and your unique circumstances.

Many of these chapters assume that the God-shaped space inside each of us has been filled to overflowing. This philosophy will still be useful if you are not a believer, but it will be lacking in depth. Scripture passages appear in italics in the text, and are referenced at the end of each chapter. My principles have been in constant evolution since 1973 and they continue to evolve. Use them as a starting point to develop your own lifelong Proverbs Principles! As you do so, I invite you to visit and interact with other Proverbs 31 women on my web site.

Shari

http://www.proverbsprinciple.com

PART 1

PROVERBS 31 FOR CENTURY 21

CHAPTER 1

LIVING PROVERBS 31 IN TODAY’S WORLD

There are many fine women in the world,

but you are the best of them all!

~Proverbs 31:29

The Message

CAN A SINGLE WOMAN BE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?

In Old Testament times, women were married young; many modern women choose to marry much later, or not at all. This leads single women to wonder if they, too, can be Proverbs 31 women. The answer is yes!

Young girls decide that someday they will be exactly the kind of wife the Proverbs 31 woman was. In reality, her appeal is not the kind of wife she was, but the kind of person she was; the references to her as a wife and mother are hypothetical. These young girls can start now to be like her; they do not have to wait until they are older.

CAN A DIVORCED WOMAN BE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?

Absolutely! Many divorced women remarry and become Proverbs 31 wives.

In Old Testament times, a husband could divorce his wife on the spot for any reason at all. There was no such thing as spousal or child support back then; she and her young children would be turned out of their home to fend for themselves. Jesus condemned that practice—a Law of Moses—and declared that marriage is to be a life-long commitment.

Still, marriages fail for many reasons, usually because of a breakdown in the relationship between the husband and the wife. Sometimes it’s her fault, sometimes his, but most often both partners have changed to the point that their marriage no longer exists.

Don’t ever believe that God isn’t forgiving. The marriage of Solomon’s parents began when King David discovered Bathsheba was pregnant with his child and sent her husband to the front lines to be killed in battle.

Everyone talks about finding the right person, but you must also be the right person. Ask God to take your situation, bless it, and use it for His glory. Forgive your ex-husband, and forgive yourself. Only then will you be receptive to the idea of a second marriage—and a second chance.

CAN A CHILDLESS WOMAN BE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?

Of course she can! The Proverbs 31 woman was a mother, but many women—for a variety of reasons—are childless.

There are, however, other children in our lives besides those to whom we give birth. There are the children of our friends, nieces and nephews, and the children next door. Some women work with children.

All these children are part of our lives, and we are part of theirs. We can help shape their childhood experiences and influence the adults they will become.

CAN A WORKING WIFE BE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN?

Some Christian groups of traditional Proverbs 31 women contend that two-income couples are blurring the lines between male and female roles. They are missing the point. The economy has changed, and modern families have had to change right along with it.

Since the end of World War II, two income families have been the norm rather than the exception. Gone are the days when the father worked in a secure job, while the mother raised the family and ran the home.

A husband can easily lose his job due to restructuring, leaving the family in a dire financial position. Many couples like the security of having the second income to fall back on; they try to live on one income while they save from the other. Some families simply cannot survive on one income and need the second to help cover household expenses.

These situations—as the religious groups suggest—do not imply a defect in the husband’s ability to support his family, nor do they send a negative message to him to that effect. Instead, they demonstrate the flexibility of Proverbs 31. Even if she has a career, a woman is still the heart of her home.

BUT I DON’T HAVE SERVANTS!

The Proverbs 31 woman and the girls she had working for her—depending on the translation, they are referred to as maidens, maidservants, or servant girls—carried on a multitude of tasks each and every day. They took the laundry to the river to be washed. They laid the fire and fetched water from the well or cistern. Clothing was made by hand, which meant that threads for the loom had to be created at the spindle—after the wool or flax was gathered. It took three hours of grinding wheat to produce enough flour for a loaf of bread large enough to feed a family of five.

Today’s woman has as much household help as the Proverbs 31 woman. Like her, each of us has a houseful of servants. Whereas hers were human, ours are in the form of appliances. They do our laundry, clean our floors and carpets, cook our food, and wash our dishes. They also heat our water, iron our clothes, and mix our cake batters.

Notice that the Proverbs 31 woman cared for her servants. Proverbs 31:15 says that she prepared food for her family and gave the servants a portion of it. The woman of today is like her when she keeps her appliances in working order, has them serviced, and makes minor household repairs.

MUST THE HUSBAND BE THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD IN THIS DAY AND AGE?

Modern Christian women have difficulty with Paul’s words to the Ephesians: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Peter also wrote, in the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Paul wrote his letter to the Ephesians in Greek. When the Bible was translated, some of Paul’s context was changed. The Greek word for head can mean an authority figure—as we so often interpret it—but it is also the word for the one who goes first into battle, in other words, willing to die for his wife and children.

The word Paul used for submissive also meant loyal. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as my dear husband. You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, un-anxious and un-intimidated.

CAN I HAVE IT ALL?

Modern women talk about having it all, but the question is "having all of what?" The answer is different for each woman. For the Proverbs 31 woman, it consisted of everything that made her life complete:

•   Relationship with God

•   Marriage

•   Motherhood

•   Career

•   Home

•   Financial security

•   Personal interests

•   Charity

WERE HER STANDARDS TOO HIGH?

At first glance, the Proverbs 31 woman’s standards appear to be too high for the average woman. But take a closer look: although she had it all, she didn’t have it all at once, she didn’t have it without help, and she had it in manageable proportions.

If being like the Proverbs 31 woman was impossible she wouldn’t be held up as a Biblical example, and it is never too late to be the woman you were meant to be!

SCRIPTURE FROM CHAPTER 1

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Peter 3:1-2

The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as my dear husband. You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, un-anxious and un-intimidated. 1 Peter 3:4, The Message

FOR YOUR NOTES

PART 2

DEFINING THE

PROVERBS 31 WOMAN

CHAPTER