"I Swear I Wasn't Listening!": True Stories from a Girl Chauffeur

By Carol Shedrick

Chauffeur Carol Shedrick stepped out of her limo on a busy street on a Saturday night. She was ready to open the back door and let out her neighbors and their friends who had asked her to take them out for a night on the town. Suddenly Mr. Neighbor thrust open the rear door of the limousine, and Shedrick stared in shock. In the back of her limo sat six naked people, including her neighbors. As a chauffeur for many years, Shedrick often drove for celebrities and government officials from America as well as other countries. In "I Swear I Wasn't Listening!", she shares the most interesting, touching, and hilarious true stories from the regular, everyday clients to those who were celebrating special events in their lives from the back of her limousine. Shedrick will have you laughing at the antics of crazy women and a birthday party for a ninety-year-old grandfather, and her poignant description of a marriage proposal on a cliff high above town will tug at your heartstrings. Whether you are a Don Juan wannabe who wants to charm your lady or a group of friends out for a good time, remember your chauffeur just might be trying not to listen!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Feb 22, 2008
• ISBN: 9780595876631

Carol Shedrick

Carol Shedrick was a chauffeur for a number of years in California before recently retiring. She loves the California lifestyle that includes tasting spectacular wines and writing stories for others to enjoy.

Book preview

I Swear I Wasn’t Listening!

True Stories from a Girl Chauffeur

Carol Shedrick

iUniverse, Inc.

New York Lincoln Shanghai

I Swear I Wasn’t Listening!

True Stories from a Girl Chauffeur

Copyright © 2008 by Carol Shedrick

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any

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ISBN: 978-0-595-43325-4 (pbk)

ISBN: 978-0-595-87663-1 (ebk)

Contents

Introduction

The Neighbors’ Night Out

A Surprise Anniversary

The Hundred-Dollar Bill Guy

Spa Adventure before the Wedding

Our Limousine for Eight

A Happy Ninetieth Birthday

Those Crazy Girls and Their Blow-Up Doll

Proposal above the City

An Adventure in Love

A Birthday on the Road

I Swear I Wasn’t Listening!

Guys Get Sick, Too

One adventure ends, and another begins

Introduction

In the late 1980s, with the kids off to school, I started to moonlight for a friend driving his limousine. I was in my thirties, living in Oregon, and running my own vegetarian fast-food restaurant.

It all started when my good friend—let’s call him Phil—came into my restaurant one day. I had known Phil, who owned a limo service, for years, because he frequented the restaurant for our famous breakfast burrito. This particular day he said, My family is arriving at the airport later this week. All my drivers are busy, and I have no time to pick them up. As a restaurant owner, I had some great conversations with my guests, sometimes about their worries and complaints.

We went on talking while I made his burrito. You know, I remarked, I used to show and train horses when I was younger. I have experience driving large vehicles.

The conversation continued from there, and by the time I finished making his burrito, I had volunteered to drive the limousine to pick up his family. So the plan was made.

I was going to drive a limousine! I was very excited—I had never driven a limo before. The first thing I thought was, What will I wear? I don’t own a tuxedo—or even a suit. I knew that limo drivers always dressed in a tuxedo, and I wanted to look the part. I remembered that I knew a guy who owned a tuxedo shop in town; he also stopped in for our famous burritos once or twice a week. So, I waited for him to come in that week and make his order. When he came in, I asked him, Hey, while you are here, I need a tuxedo for the limo I am going to be driving. How much would it cost for a day?

He grinned and said, Shoot, just give me a burrito, and it’s yours.

So that’s how it all started.

The day arrived; I got the tuxedo and the limo and headed for the airport. At the airport, I parked out front and stood outside the limo. Back in those days, you could wait outside the airport and not get chased away for waiting too long. There were only a few flights a day in that small Oregon town. Just to see a limousine was rare, and what was even rarer was a girl chauffeur!

Finally my friend Phil’s family arrived. I greeted them and escorted them into the limousine. This day being a limo driver was exciting. I felt important. I was the center of attention at the airport. Everyone in the airport was staring and waving at me. I felt like an actor, playing a part in a movie! I must have smiled the whole day, which I hadn’t done in a very long time.

After leaving the airport, we headed for town. Then the questions started from all the passengers.

Where do you live?

How many kids do you have?

How long have you been driving?

So how do you know Phil?

And on and on. Trying to watch the road and to answer the questions of passengers sitting all the way in the back of this limousine was a challenge. But I figured it out, and we made our way to the city while I told them about my two kids and many years in Oregon.

We arrived at our destination, which was Phil’s other business, a dinner house in the downtown area featuring live music. There was a large crowd outside when I pulled up to the building. I parked the limousine and helped unload the luggage as Phil’s family was greeted by their family and friends, who were excited about their long-awaited visit to Oregon.

After everyone and everything was unloaded, I said, Have a great time; it was great to meet you.

I turned to get in the limousine. As I was leaving, the whole family came up to the car and said, Where are you going?

I said, Home.

They said, You have to stay and have dinner with us.

I smiled, and I knew at that point that saying no was not an option. I parked the limo and stayed for dinner and the party.

The next day, my whole face was sore. I had smiled and laughed so much that day, I felt like I had worked out! We had had dinner, danced, and had a great night. I hadn’t had that much fun in a long time. With my stressful job as a small-business owner, it had been quite a while since I had stopped and enjoyed the people around me.

The next weekend, Phil called and asked me to drive him and his family to another city for the day to do some sightseeing and have dinner, and I instantly said yes. I was happy just thinking about driving the limousine again.

After that weekend, Phil’s family all went back home, and all the fun was over. I was so sad. I had had more fun with those great people than I’d had in twenty years. Life could be fun again, I thought to myself. What am I doing, working so hard every day and missing out?

Well, the next week I called Phil and told him that if he needed me to drive the limousine at any time, I would love to help. As time went on, I began driving on the weekends and a few nights a week. Sometimes I showed up at my kids’ school to pick them up in the limousine—boy what a ruckus that caused. I would pull up in front to wait until school let out, and the whole school would run out of the building with the children yelling, The limo is here!

For my son, it was great, but my daughter hated it. She would hide and sneak out a different way so no one would see her. She said it made all the kids try to befriend her, and that really bothered her. On the other hand, my son became so popular that his grades dropped. Well, I took care of that really quickly.

About a month or so after I had started driving limousines, Phil asked me if I wanted to purchase a car he had for sale. I thought about it for a week or so. The car he was offering me was a newer, small limousine that held about six passengers. It had a TV/VCR, a great stereo, and two bars. The kids and I thought it would be a great family car for vacations, so we all agreed. I purchased our first limo.

After that, business steadily grew for our limousine. The neighbor’s daughter was getting married, so we offered the limo for their special day for the bride and groom as our gift. Another neighbor had a birthday, then another neighbor had a friend at work who wanted to propose to his girlfriend.

We charged money to maintain the limo and for our time driving. I was also receiving great tips. The cash was great; I had never really thought about the income driving a limo would generate.

The kids would wake up in the mornings and ask me how much money I had made the night before. I would laugh and say it was none of their business. But I would let them count it, of course. Actually, I started paying them to clean the limo, which was great. We all made money with the limo, and we could still use it for vacations.

A few years after that first experience driving Phil’s family, I decided that I had so much fun driving the limousine that I sold my restaurant and expanded the limousine business. This book is a collection of stories about my personal encounters with passengers in my limo and the fun they had …

As a chauffeur, I often drove for celebrities and government officials from the United States as well as countries around the world, but the most interesting clients were regular people celebrating events in their lives, including families, groups of friends, and couples out for a romantic night on the town. I have so many great stories about the families and people I drove in the limousine. Some of these people are still like family to this day. I was also the chauffeur for a lot of their kids’ proms. Those were fun nights—the kids had a great time, and the parents didn’t worry at all.

Kid’s parties that would make your hair stand on end. Others were so cute that it was hard not to watch in the rearview mirror. I really enjoyed the birthday guest that wanted me to wear a birthday hat while driving. The other motorists on the road alway’s smiled and waved.

Anniversaries that started out very romantic, then they became so funny that I was not sure what would happen next. Husbands that try their best to surprise their wives with a wonderful evening. Some of these anniversary couples do not even make it out of the driveway before the husband is in trouble!

Proposals; I would be great help to anyone who wanted to propose to someone. I can’t tell you how many times I have participated in the planning of other peoples’ proposals.

Bachelorette and bachelor parties—I might need to write a special collection just for adults