African Sex Education:Chronicles and Manual: Miyidima-The African's Erotic Convocation:Liberation of the Long Suffering Birds and Bees of Africa

By Boniface Wewe

In a candid and blunt style ranging from dialogue to personal narrative, the taboo topic of SEX is examined in this book within an African context. Key topics featured are Female Genital Mutilation, Erotic Communication, Aphrodisiacs, Foreplay and Shoe Sizes, Guide to Cunnilingus (Full Course Meal), Young Offenders and Sex, Teens, Sex and Nurturing, Fantasies, Sex Tidbits from America to the Afro Diaspora, Fear, Bonding and Superstition just to name a few. This book shows how the African by being open and adventurous and trying new things in bed will be able to Make Love and Have Sex leading to a liberation in his/her erotic convocation!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Aug 10, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450244947

Boniface Wewe

Boniface Ndemping Wewe (Ngonyama Ka Brooklyn) was born in Cameroon, West Central Africa. He was educated in Cameroon and at the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (USA) where he obtained his Master’s degree in Library Sciences on a Fulbright scholarship in 1991.After a short stint as Yaounde University law librarian in 1992, he joined the Brooklyn Public Library in New York in 1993 He is currently a supervising librarian and specializes in young adult service. Mr. Wewe is the author of three books- Atungsiri’s Ghost (for ages 6-9), Witches, Wizards, Ghosts and the Beast of Nyiragongo (for ages 12 and up), and “The Joys of African Sex, Jokes, Courtesies and Idiosyncrasies” for adults. This book garnered a star review from Kirkus magazine! He is also the producer of four video documentaries namely: Pay the Dowry (co.1999), Akwaaba…Welcome to Alphabetic Africa (Co. 2001), African Ceremonies-The Zulu Royal Reed Dance, Witchdoctors: A Day in the Other Africa (Co. 2007), and African Statesmen: The life and Times of the late Dr. John Ngu Foncha of Cameroon (Co. 2008).Mr. Wewe is a permanent resident of the United States and is the father of one biological daughter and an adopted son. He declared himself – Ngonyama ka Brooklyn (King of Brooklyn) after the reigning Zulu King, His Majesty Goodwill Zwelithini gave him permission to shake his hand in 2002.He is an avid jogger, likes to meet new people and discover other places. He speaks English, French and Yemba (Bamileke) fluently and is learning Zulu (South Africa) and Ewondo (Yaounde, Cameroon) and Spanish languages. Christa Martin is a free-lance editor operating from KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. She obtained her BSoc. Sc. at the University of KwaZulu-Natal, Durban Campus in 2005, with majors in Media & Communications and IsiZulu Studies. As a writer and editor, she has done work for many publications and individuals, and some companies. Her work encompasses editing of all types of documents, writing of advertising copy, company documents, newsletters, stories, editorials and research reports. As a writer of fiction, she has not yet been discovered.

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Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Pah Fru Ndeh and Celebrity Artiste Jacob Nguni and Shoe Sizes

African Sex Euphemisms

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and Full Course Meal- Reply to Professor Ashu

Foreplay and Sexual Discussion for African Teens and Adults

Teens, Jail and Sex

Fear and Bonding and Communication for Men and Women

African Polygamists and Maintaining Multiple Girlfriends

Wild Sex Spans the Globe

Oral Sex and Throat Cancer : A Rebuff to a Mentor

Guinness Beer: Aphrodisiacs and Stimulants

God’s Gifts To Women and Men Getting Our Grooves Back

Erotic Communication

Men, Women, Positions

How It Should Be Done / You Have Got Me Wanting You

Sex, Taboos and Curiosity

Teen Talk / Hanging Out with Teens

Sexual Fantasy: I Need Some Action, Tender Satisfaction

God’s Children: Flinching, Superstition, Life and Nurturing

Random Leaves from Teen Diaries

Women ‘Shaving It’

CUNNILINGUS: Full Course Meal / Eating Pussy

Conclusion

Picture Credits:

Bibliography

End Notes

Dedication

I dedicate this work to :

My father-John Shunoh Wewe

My brother David Ndongfack Wewe

Professor Bernard Nsokika Fonlon

Honorable Dr. John Ngu Foncha

And above all to Professor Jacob Lifangi Ngu.

Acknowledgements

I will pay tribute first to God and all my ancestors. Not forgotten are: my daughter-Barbara Temfack Wewe, my son Zamani Bhengu, my god daughters Janice Ndip and Mambo, my god son Alain Gaima, The Emergency Unit of Interfaith Medical Center in Brooklyn , the Fire Department of New York City (FDNY) and New York Police Department (NYPD) for saving my life following an automobile accident on November 14th, 2009, the Cameroon Nation, people and president –Paul Biya for the moral support, Cameroon Presidential Chief of staff (Chief Martin Belinga Eboutou), The Cameroon Embassy Washington DC and Ambassador Foe Atangana, African sage and traditional doctor (Sangoma) Ma Bhengu and the traditional healers (Sangomas) of Kwangcolosi-Valley of 1000 Hills, KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, The Hlahlindlela High School Choir-Kwagcolosi, my editor Chris Martin, my mentor and Professor of Sexology-Dr. Elnah McIntosh of Durban and Johannesburgh (South Africa),Mr. Sheldon Deladegourdie of Durban, South Africa, King Goodwill Zwelithini and the Zulu Royal House and Reed Dance Festival-South Africa, Dr. Fobi Mathias (California),Mr. Eric Chinje (Washington DC),Dr. Christopher Fomunyoh (Washington DC),Papa Pierre Mekoulou Me Ndo and family (Bonaberi, Douala), Dr. Siphiwe Mkhize of the South African Embassy-Washington D.C., My high school principals of Molyko-Buea: Tamfack Thomas and Ntube Michael Jarvis, Professors Dongmo Jean Louis and Ephraim N. Ngwafor (Yaounde),Pr. Momo Bernard-mayor of Dschang, Hon Papa Victor Fotso of Bandjoun, Shaniqua Williams and Ms. Dee Isaacs of Brooklyn, My sister Ernestine Tshafack of Silver Spring Maryland, The Brooklyn Public Library , Boys and Girls High School, Brooklyn, Harbor Academy and the Bushwick Campus High Schools,, Mott Hall IV Junior High School, Brooklyn, IS 257 and IS 291 in Brooklyn, Ms. Sandra Bryce and Staff of The Ella McQueen Residential Center and inmates, all my Facebook and Myspace friends, the following Cameroonian e-groups: [e-mail],[e-mail];[e-mail];[e-mail], Hasheem Thabeet of the Memphis Grizzlies, Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls and Brandon Jennings (my honorary son) of the Milwaukee Bucks, Coach and Mrs. John Calipari and the Wildcats of Kentucky, Coach K of the Duke Blue Devils, former CBS anchor Dan Rather and Mr. Regis Philbin of ABC network. My mother (Lucy) and all my brothers and sisters (the Wewes) are not forgotten as well as Pah Charles Ndoping of Santa and all the Ndopings,Professor Kathleen Ngu Blackett of Yaounde, and countless number of people that I have not named here!

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Brooklyn Diva (left) and Boniface (right)

Introduction

I was born and bred in Cameroon Africa but have made my home in Brooklyn New York since 1993. As a native African, I would affirm with charismatic candor that our culture, unlike its Western counterpart is not frank at all. Regrettably, this mindset has spread to African bedrooms and into our sexual convocation. Consequently, discussions concerning sex are very uneasy for most Africans. Small wonder a great proportion of our marriages are pre-arranged.

In the book Weddings- Dating and Love Customs of Cultures Worldwide Including Royalty by Carolyn Mordecai, pg 39, she opines, many marriages are still arranged by a parent, relatives or go-betweens who are appointed by families to negotiate terms between both sides. She continues, to take a bride, traditionally the groom and/or his family pay a negotiated bride price to the bride’s family. Further on page 47, dealing with marriage customs among the Baoules of Ivory Coast, the author writes, The bride price and traditional presents like palm wine, offered to the bride’s family were not considered as bridal purchase. Rather, the bride price was given as a compensation to the bride’s parents for the loss of their daughter. This is remarkably similar to beliefs of the Bamileke and Tikar tribes of Cameroon, and the Nguni tribes of Southern Africa.

In fact, in Cameroon where arranged marriages are common, a potential suitor and his parents would approach the in-laws with the following words: I have a fully grown rooster and I need your hen for my rooster. It is just an indirect way of saying I need your daughter for my son. Even an African legend and elder, former South African president Nelson Mandela dodged a question from a reporter during a state visit to the Philippines in 1997 (My cultural background does not permit me to answer questions of that nature from someone younger than my grandchildren.)

The world is now a global village with the African being a vital occupant of this village. While we don’t discuss sex in Africa, some stereotypes abound about Africans and sex. Hence the Indian Nobel laureate Mahatma Gandhi had this to say about the African and sex when he addressed a public meeting in Bombay on 26 September 1896, about the Indian struggle in South Africa:

"Ours is one continued struggle against degradation sought to be inflicted upon us by the European, who desires to degrade us to the level of the raw Kaffir, whose occupation is hunting and whose sole ambition is to collect a certain number of cattle to buy a wife with, and then pass his life in indolence and nakedness."[1]

There is a prevalent stereotype about men of African descent: they are virile with big penises, commonly called mandingo. We cannot preach sexual autocracy for the African this 21st century, for the African can make love and have sex by trying new things in the bedroom with his wife or girlfriend. In 2004 I auditioned as a comedian at the predominantly white Broadway Comedy Club on the Upper West side of New York City and asked the audience of professionals their favorite theme for the night! The audience screamed in unison, SEX!

Today I ask a question in turn: since most of our women cannot express their sexual needs and feelings to us the men, what African woman or man is brave enough to tell the other what he or she wants in bed? What African woman is brave enough to tell the world what African men want in bed? Late Cameroonian comedian Jean Miche Kan Kan (Affana Dieudonne) made a feeble attempt in one of his skits with the letter written by his stage wife Helen from Paris: a man who is fresh, virile, strong and can make love and sex feel like heaven unlike the old worn out Kankan who made sex hell!

During a recent trip to Africa, I heard wonders. I happened to take my mother out with her best friend and never mentioned anything to do with my doctoral research on Sexology. I heard that Cameroon’s Bafut tribe women are the most loyal females in the North West region as they scarcely divorce no matter the circumstances, trials and tribulations. During my trip from Douala, Cameroon to Johannesburg, South Africa, I sat next to a young man who grew up in Buea, is half my age, and now resides in Cape Town; Stanley Jing. I don’t know how our discussion progressed but I found myself revealing that I am a ‘professor of Sexology’. I asked him, in our indirect African way, if he ate 'Full Course Meal' (cunnilingus) and was impressed by his confirmatory answer.

This young man told me how he had dated women from the main tribes of South Africa like Zulus, Xhosas and Sothos. He said the Zulu women are very loyal like the Bafut. This was confirmed by a friendly flight attendant. I also heard that the Xhosa women are freaks (very open) in bed. In fact it is said that a Xhosa girl goes to the night club, checks out the kind of dude she wants, takes him home, gets her groove on with different positions and styles and the following day she dumps him and moves on. At least they are open in bed like the Bamum woman of Cameroon as it is said that a Bamum woman rocks a man in bed by taking control. There are some few exceptions, then, to the rule of sexual conservatism.

While walking on Victoria Street in Durban, somebody handed me a flier from Dr. Shadow –one of those 'cure-all-and-can-do-all' traditional doctors. His treatment included the following: winning lotto, bringing back lost love, healing chronicle (sic) diseases like AIDS, recovering stolen property, solving financial problems, promotion and salary at work, weak erections, permanent penis enlargement and virginal (sic) tightening. Wow! Dr. Shadow is bold enough to wrestle with all the problems of life.

This work is an interpretation of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in terms of the African’s bedroom convocation, randomly provided in a humorous way. The needs chart figures:

• Clean homes and neighborhoods

• Honest living and hard work

• Shunning bizarre rituals, juju and Muthi to attain wealth like using body parts and killing albinos

• Cultural pride and the preservation of genuine aspects of life that include food, clothing, languages

• Ubuntu (the concept that the individual and society are obligatorily co-operative entities)

• Perfection of indigenous technologies and holistic remedies from traditional doctors

• Responsibility for our lives and those of our families without resorting to the blame game and mentality,

• Outlawing wife beating and female genital mutilation (FGM)

• Opening up in bed and trying new things like massage, romance, fellatio and cunnilingus.

The work is a media-inspired travelogue spanning different continents with the country of Cameroon constituting a point of departure or case study. The religions in Cameroon include-Muslim, Catholic, Protestant and Traditional African ancestral worship. Cameroon is described as ‘all of Africa in one country' or the Africa in Miniature. In his song-"Amandiya", (Zulu Record Label/KSR Record, Co, 2002) South African song writer, playwright and director Mbongeni Ngema tried to bring reconciliation between Indians and Africans in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. This song represents the way many Africans feel about the behavior of Indians in this country. It is an attempt to open a constructive discussion that will lead to true reconciliation between Indians and Africans.

Following Ngema's example, it is my intention, therefore, to reconcile Africans with the rest of the world through the controversial topic of SEX. It is time for the African to move beyond tight vaginas and ‘mandingos’ for there is more to their erotic convocation. The subtitle of this pseudo PhD dissertation says it all: "Miyidima: The African’s Erotic Convocation: Liberation of the Long Suffering Birds and Bees of Africa. Just as I took the title of Ngonyama Ka Brooklyn" after shaking hands with King Goodwill Zwelithini of the Zulu nation, I will hope to be recognised sufficiently to be awarded the title of Professor of Sexology with this work.

Pah Fru Ndeh and Celebrity Artiste Jacob Nguni and Shoe Sizes

I am cognizant of my generosity in catering to the erotic convocation of the African. Any trimmings of good news must be shared with our people for only a miser would kill an elephant and keep it for himself. As always, our trip will span two continents - Africa and America. Our Camnet forum (the Cameroonian chat group based in the USA) is not oblivious to a spat between gentlemen who thought they were too slick and euphemistic all the time; Pah Fru Ndeh and Jacob Nguni. Whenever he became irate in an exchange with Jacob Nguni, Pah Fru Ndeh would insinuate some remark about Nguni's small size 7 shoes. You would recall how Mr. Nguni countered with Pah Fru Ndeh’s Babies R Us size. It was my job to distinguish the sheep from the goats by bringing in our manhood sizes and categories