There's a Leader in the Mirror

By Confidence Seleme

Every employee and individual has leadership potential. To discover and develop the leader within is to unearth that part of ourselves that shines so luminously, it provides light for not only ourselves, but others as well. There is a leader in the mirror but it's up to you whether you leave that leader locked in that mirror or whether you will free that leader and let him or her loose to rule in the particular sphere that you were created to reign over. What do you see in the mirror? Choose to see the leader that is staring back at you and choose to bring that leader to the fore. This book will help and guide to discover and develop the leader within you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Confidence Seleme
• Release date: Jun 4, 2018
• ISBN: 9780620797405

Confidence Seleme

Confidence Seleme is an author, motivational speaker and entrepreneur. He is passionate about helping people discover and development their potential. He’s a radio personality with a motivational segment called “The Confidence Booster” and he also makes regular appearances on various TV platforms. He’s also a contributing writer to online and print publications such as Sowetan, News24 and Zkhiphane.com. He is a trained writer having completed his qualification with the AAA School of Advertising and he has worked on many local and international blue-chip brands in the FMCG, Financial, Motor and other sectors.

Book preview

There's a leader in the mirror Copyright© Confidence Seleme – 2018

This publication is a product of Ascension Leadership Training,

a subsidiary of Ascension Group

PostNet Suite B159, Private Bag x18, Lynwood, 0040 Email:

info@confidenceseleme.com [e-mail] Website:  www.confidenceseleme.com

Cover design by: Lethabo Nchabelene (LT Designs) Edited by: Simon Johannes Nteso

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author – Confidence Seleme.

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CONTENTS 

OTHER BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR 

ENDORSEMENTS 

DEDICATION 

INTRODUCTION 

SECTION 1 

DEFINING LEADERSHIP

CHAPTER 1 

LEADERSHIP IS NOT A SERVICE YOU DEMAND, IT IS A SERVICE YOU PROVIDE

CHAPTER 2 

LEADERSHIP IS NOT A PHYSICAL POSITION, IT IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL POSITIONING

CHAPTER 3 

LEADERSHIP IS NOT A PRIVILEGE THAT SHOULD BE ENJOYED BY THE FEW, IT IS A RESPONSIBILITY THAT SHOULD BE CARRIED BY ALL

CHAPTER 4 

LEADERSHIP IS NOT A QUICK 100M RACE, IT IS A LIFELONG MARATHON

SECTION 2 

LEADERSHIP BEGINS WITH LEADING YOURSELF, NOT OTHERS

CHAPTER 5 

SELF-MOTIVATION SO YOU CAN REMAIN ON GUARD

CHAPTER 6 

SELF-DISCIPLINE SO YOU CAN DEVELOP CONSISTENCY

CHAPTER 7 

SELF-CONFIDENCE SO YOU CAN BECOME A BUILDER

SECTION 3 

THE STRUGGLES OF LEADERSHIP

CHAPTER 8: 

INTERNAL STRUGGLES

CHAPTER 9 

EXTERNAL STRUGGLES

CHAPTER 10 

HANDLING PRESSURE

CHAPTER 11 

THE PURPOSE OF STRUGGLES

CHAPTER 12 

FINDING COMMON GROUND DESPITE DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS

SECTION 4 

TURNING MIRRORS INTO WINDOWS

CHAPTER 13 

WE START AT THE MIRROR BUT WE MUSTN'T GET STUCK AT THE MIRROR

CHAPTER 14 

WINDOWS GIVE OUR LEADERSHIP PURPOSE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 

ABOUT CONFIDENCE SELEME 

OTHER BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR

When the pen is pregnant

When the pen is pregnant is Confidence Seleme's debut book. It's a poetry anthology featuring poems that tackle themes such as Identity, Love, Pain, Spirituality and much more. The poems are engaging and give insight into the author's life experiences.

A confident approach

Powerful, thought-provoking and life-transforming, A confident approach is an inspirational book that will impact the way you think about your identity, purpose and destiny. This book is designed to tailor your approach and overall outlook on life into one that is confident and positive – one that will assist you in birthing your greatness and achieving the things you were destined to achieve.

Young and living on purpose

Discovering purpose is the solution to many of the youth-related challenges that we face today. When you have a purpose, doing drugs is no longer on your list of options. You dismiss the idea or temptation to sleep around. You are encouraged to read more, to educate yourself further and ultimately become more as a person. Having a sense of purpose will make you walk boldly with your head lifted high. It will make you strive to be more competent and it will build your resilience. It will drown low self-esteem and it will fuel your confidence. It will propel you towards a greater destination and it will reveal to you the treasures that are within you. Young and living on purpose educates and empowers readers to live life with purpose and intentionality.

ENDORSEMENTS

There's a leader in the mirror gives a different perspective as to how leadership should be approached. Not only does it give a fresh perspective on approaching leadership, it also enlightens people on their ability to assume leadership regardless of not being in the position itself. With the aid of this book, leaders will take a different approach towards leading others, as the focus will now shift to empowering others and building them up.

The book takes the reader on a journey of introspection regarding his or her own ability to lead and what being a leader is all about – it points out the most crucial aspects to leadership – which are being selfless and serving people. You are not a leader because of a position you occupy, you are a leader because you want to serve people – you place in others first and always have a collective gain mind-set. This prolific work is one for the history books and it will remain relevant and impact even the generations to come. May true leaders arise and assume their rightful positions!

• Simon Johannes Nteso (Industrial Psychologist)

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Well, I'm a great fan of leadership books and I must tell you that this is one of the best I've read. What I love about the book is that it gives practical advice and guidance, and unlike most writings on leadership, this book does not confine leadership to only a particular position but to opens up leadership to every person. The powerful

analogy of a mirror that the author uses as a basis for his writing will help you understand that even you are a leader in your own right and that the way you will grow in your leadership to the point of influencing the lives of others is when you begin seeing yourself through the clean lens of how and why God created you!

• El-Roy Chauke (Entrepreneur and Youth leader at Ark of Ages Community Church)

There's a leader in the mirror is a book that I believe will change the lives of many people globally. This book to me is a 'MUST READ RESOURCE FOR LEADERS'. It reveals the dirty mirror as a chasm in which many leaders are stuck, hidden or perhaps buried. Turning our mirrors into windows as outlined in this book is quite key and will help path a clear way forward.

Indeed our mirrors are stained by our struggles but we can clean them and eventually convert them into windows. Brother Confidence also uses other metaphors in this publication. For Instance, he uses the metaphor of birth- pangs to refer to struggles in life before our breakthroughs are revealed. This vivid and colourful style makes this book a very artistic and nourishing read. I am highly inspired and therefore, believe that through the reading of this book, one will never be the same again.

•  Pastor Robert Ngobeni (Senior Pastor at Ark of Ages Community Church)

In his book, Confidence Seleme neatly tackles the subject of leadership and lets us know how to correctly perceive it. He makes an intelligent effort to define what it means to be a leader as opposed to some of the ideas that people have about what leadership is. He lets the whole world know that leadership does not begin with positions or with pulling crowds; it begins with good self-perception and self-determination, insight into oneself that would cause one to make wise decisions. These decisions are what make an individual an admirable source of inspiration that leads not by making others feel the weight of their authority, but by positive influence. Confidence Seleme confidently leads us from turning our mirrors into windows, taking every reader on a journey that would change their lives. Get ready for change!

• Dr. TT Ramolefe (Medical Doctor)

Dedicated to the emerging leaders of this generation and the generations to follow

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INTRODUCTION 

SELF-PERCEPTION IS THE KEY TO SELF-DETERMINATION

Many people are prisoners walking free. They may have not have chains around their hands and ankles but make no mistake about it, they are prisoners. Many are prisoners to their own perceptions about themselves. It is their own opinion about who they are that is holding them back. It holds them back from dreaming the dreams they want to dream. It holds them back from pursuing the goals they want to pursue and it enslaves them, disabling them from living their best lives.

When your self-perception is distorted, your potential is thwarted. A wrong or limited self-perception leads people to dream limited dreams, dreams that are far below what they are capable of. Many people do not see the full spectrum of who they are and what they are truly capable of and so they look at themselves with eyes half-opened and they end up designing their lives according to their limited vision of themselves.

We have all been given the freedom to choose the paths and directions our lives are to take. That is the gift of self-determination. We have also been given the ability to reassess who we are and who we can become. That is the gift of self-perception. We can choose whether to stay as we are or to develop ourselves. We can choose whether to go for our goals or to remain in a state of stagnation, waiting without working and dreaming without chasing.

In pursuing the leadership potential that is present within us, we inadvertently discover a brighter reflection of who we are. To discover and develop the leader within is to unearth that part of ourselves that shines so luminously, it provides light for not only ourselves, but others as well.

What will it be for you? Decide now but do not merely decide, activate your decision and begin the process of actively going after your goals. There is a leader in the mirror but it's up to you whether you leave that leader locked in that mirror or whether you will free that leader and let him or her loose to rule in the particular sphere that you were created to reign over. What do you see in the mirror? Choose to see the leader that is staring back at you and choose to bring that leader to the fore.

Cleaning our mirrors

We use mirrors to look at ourselves, usually before we leave the house to go to work or to meet up with friends or family. Mirrors are personal grooming accessories that help us in presenting the best of ourselves. Through them, we examine ourselves before others examine us.

There are many people who have dirty mirrors and because their mirrors are dirty, they look at themselves and they see dirt and they believe that they themselves are dirty. They are misguided by their negative perceptions of themselves and they need to clean their mirrors. We need to like and love ourselves more. If we liked and loved ourselves more, we'd have no need to dominate or abuse others. We'd take better care of ourselves and others. We'd be much better, more effective leaders.

Sometimes the image we see in the mirror is blurred by past events that may have negatively affected our self-image. A negative past can distort a person's view of themselves. It can damage their self- perception to the point where they don't know who they are anymore. If a person has physical or emotional abuse in their history, it can affect their