Solving The Downsizing Dilemma: PS: Your Kids Don’t Want All Your Stuff

By Kim Eagles

Are you ready to downsize your life?

The process of downsizing and releasing stuff can be an emotional rollercoaster ride. The high of making the decision to let go and clear out excess clutter gets mixed in with the emotional and physical overwhelm of actually doing it.

The realization that your kids really don't want all your stuff and you have to decide what you're going to do with it all can be stressful, yet some of your possessions have to go to make way for a new lifestyle.

This book helps you maneuver through that downsizing process, reduce the overall overwhelm of getting it done, and helps you keep calm and focused every step of the way.

Solving the Downsizing Dilemma will walk you through the journey from start to finish so you can take the steps needed to downsize your space and upsize your life!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kim Eagles
• Release date: Jun 9, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386891048

Book preview

Acknowledgements

The biggest thanks go out to my Mom and Dad who inspired this book and who allowed me to write a bit of their story. Okay, maybe not allowed, but didn’t stop me from writing it, ha! To my Dad for adding his wisdom and thoughts throughout the book, thank you!

A sincere thank you goes out to my sister Wendy Batten who wrote the staging section of this book. Thanks for sharing your honesty and expertise in getting our homes ready to sell. I appreciate the time you took out of your extremely busy life to help me with this book project.

I am truly grateful for my family. The journey of downsizing and letting go of family treasures has not always been easy for us. We have lost loved ones and have let go of special family homes, and through it all my Mom, Dad, sister, and brother have been there to work together to make the process as smooth as possible. Words cannot express how blessed I feel to have such an amazing, supportive family.

Of course, that extends to my husband and kids who have also had to chip in and help carry the load in helping with the downsizing process. They are always ready to lend a hand when needed, whether I am working with family members or clients. 

Thanks for being my family!

Last, but definitely not least, this book would not have ever been finished without the expertise and help of my great friend and editor, Marlene Oulton. Thanks for keeping me on track, making me sound good, and always believing in me.

Introduction

Sitting on the deck overlooking the water, drink in hand, relaxing and enjoying the beautiful sunset, Bob thought, Ahh... this is the life. Reflecting on the day that had just passed, he thought about what a blessed life he was able to enjoy; spending time walking on the beach, gardening, and puttering around the cottage. Life was so simple here! He never wanted to leave when it was time to head back to their house in the city. 

Bob and Sandy were struggling with their home in the city. Sandy was having a hard time managing all the stairs in the huge family home that they had lived in for over thirty years, and the house was starting to show its age. There were always things that needed to be done to maintain it, but they were running out of steam and money to do all the work. It just seemed that every time they turned around something else needed fixing or updating. Looking around at their home they also felt overwhelmed by all the stuff they had accumulated over the years, stuff they didn’t really use anymore. It was all too much. When they were in their city home, they just wanted to be back at the cottage enjoying their freedom, and living a simplified life. That was what retirement was supposed to be all about, right?

Sandy and Bob started talking and dreaming about what life would be like if they could just live at the cottage full-time. Oh, what a joy that would be. And so the downsizing journey began!

Sandy and Bob are real people, not fictional characters I made up for the sake of this book. They are my parents and a lot of the stories in this book are from their downsizing journey. And yes, I asked their permission to use their story before writing about it.

Section 1:

The Journey Begins

Chapter 1

Finding Your Why

There were many factors to consider as my Mom and Dad contemplated this downsizing step. 

Could they actually survive being in a smaller place full-time? Would they drive one another crazy tripping over each other once they moved into the cottage? What would they take with them? What would they do with all their stuff? Could they get a decent price for their home that would make the effort of selling worth it? What would they need to do to get the house sold? Could they actually live at the cottage over the winter? Did they want to be that far out of the city? What would be the budget of living in the cottage full-time? If something happened to one of them health wise, could they afford an apartment in the city to be closer to the hospital? And the list went on and on.

Living in Canada, a lot of retiree’s head south for the winter, but for Bob and Sandy this was not a consideration due to family commitments and current health issues. A vacation down south for a week or two was all they really wanted regardless of the fact they knew lots of people who spent the winter living in a warmer climate.

To go live in the cottage or not to go – that was their main decision!

They spent months contemplating these questions. As the months passed and the maintenance list of repairs on their big house continued to grow, they got closer and closer to their answer. When summer came to an end and they moved back to the city for the winter, they resisted leaving the cottage with all their might. They made the final decision to spend the winter preparing to sell their house and move permanently to their waterside retreat in the spring. That is where they now wanted to live.

If you are contemplating downsizing – and I assume you are or you would not be reading this book, you have to figure out what I refer to as your why.

Why are you moving? Do you have a compelling reason to want to downsize?

Are you downsizing for financial reason, to rid yourself of the big house, large maintenance bills, or perhaps the cost of maintaining two locations if you have a summer place?

Are you downsizing for health reasons? Is your health and stamina just not what it used to be and you can no longer physically keep up with maintaining the space you have? Can you no longer comfortably manage a full flight of stairs? Do you need to move to a space that has less maintenance, or one that has medical and/or living assistance close by as you can no longer live on your own? 

Are you downsizing for the sake of time? For example, you no longer want to spend your days maintaining a big space and looking after a huge pile of stuff that no longer gets used daily. Are you fed up with having so much wasted space that nobody uses anymore? Does it take up too much of your time maintaining it for no reason? Perhaps managing your space and all the stuff feels like a total waste of your energy and precious hours. 

Are you downsizing to prepare for the later stages of your life and the inevitable end? Perhaps you feel your old bones are starting to creak and want to prepare for the time when you can no longer manage the space on your own or you are no longer here on earth. I know people don’t like to talk about this stage, but mortality is part of the human existence. Knowing that one day you will no longer be alive is a powerful motivator to deal with stuff now so you can enjoy your life and your family while you are still here.

Deciding to downsize – whether it is your physical space or just your accumulation of stuff, is a gift you can give to those you leave behind in the end as it takes a huge burden off their shoulders. 

Figuring out your why will give you a compelling reason to move forward and start your downsizing journey.

Bob’s Bits of Wisdom

"It was really easy for my wife and I to figure out our ‘why’ to downsize. After I retired from my full-time job, we started spending a lot more time at our cottage by the sea. Sure, it was a lot smaller than our house in the city, but it was what we called our ‘happy’ place. The cottage was much smaller to maintain, and when we were there it seemed as if our lives slowed down allowing us to enjoy simple things like watching gorgeous sunsets over the water, swimming, and even snoozing on the back deck.

While we’d lived in the city most of our married life and the home we’d created there was very important to us, especially when it came to family gatherings due to the size of the house, the upkeep was starting to become hard to keep up