Losing Grandma Louise

By Shitaye Morrison

Losing Grandma Louise isn't just a heartfelt story about a teenager who grieves the death of his Grandmother. It is also a fictional drama that takes you on a journey of how an Italian baby ends up under the guardianship of an African American woman,who was once his nanny.  Sadly, after a lifetime of love and at the tender age of 13, the boy is faced with the reality of living without her. The real drama begins after her life ends and his new life brings on a hurdle he couldnt imagine getting over. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shitaye Morrison
• Release date: May 1, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386448297

Book preview

Losing Grandma Louise

Shitaye Morrison

intro

My rock, my confidant , my best friend. Never in my short, tender life, would I ever imagine the day that I would have to prepare myself to lose you. Although you raised me to be a strong young man, I’m still weak at the thought of living without you. You didn’t carry me in your stomach, but you carried me through life. You didn’t birth me, but you nurtured me into who I am today. You taught me to obey the lord, who tells us to obey the laws of the land. You taught me how to fight my way through a struggle, and how to use every resource and recourse possible to make it. And even when there seemed to be no resources to turn to, you showed me how to look to God, who will guide me through with whatever it is I do have. We don’t look the same, but I mirror who you are. We don’t have the same bloodline, but our souls are connected as one. Who am I without you? Who are you without me? How can I ever go on in life without seeing your beautiful face every day? Only time will tell me the answers to the questions that I ask. Once life comes crumbling down on my teenage head, these questions will become challenges. Then I will have no other choice but to face them. Dear Grandma, regardless of how crazy life may get, I promise to stick it out until the end. Because the most important thing you’ve always taught me, is from Jerimiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to keep you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future ."

1

Crushed!

"O Lord, bless me indeed . Enlarge my territory. Keep your hands on me so no evil can harm me and I will feel no pain In Jesus Name Amen!"

My grandmother and I recited the prayer together, as I prepared to leave the house for my last day of 8th grade. I’m going to high school next semester and' leaving middle school with a 4.0 GPA. Although I’m normally a pretty happy kid, right now I can’t help but to be heartbroken over the fact that my Grandmother won’t make it through the summer. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in January. They told us in April that she only had a few short months to live.

My grandmother is my legal guardian and the only parental figure I’ve ever had in my life. She was my nanny when I was an infant. My parents had me at a very young age, they were both only 19. They left me with the nanny so they could travel to Italy when I was only 3 months old. They were only supposed to be gone for a week but, unfortunately, they never returned. Grandma spent weeks looking for them. The law couldn’t do much to help, because she was only the nanny, and didn’t know much about them. She’d only been hired 2 months before they disappeared. It took a month for them to figure out that my parents were killed in a car accident, by a drunk driver, in Italy.

None of my family attempted to come and find me. Grandma fought long and hard to get full custody of me. Although no one in my family came to claim me, the system was still stubborn about giving a woman like grandma, full custody of a boy like me. By the grace of God, after a whole year of fighting, Grandma was awarded full custody, and my life has been good ever since. Even in the bad times, things were still good. With God on our side, and each other, we’ve made it through. Prayer has saved us and faith has kept us going.  I’m glad my family rejected me, because if they hadn’t done so, I would have never experienced life with Grandma. She is my guardian angel, right here on earth, and I’m not sure how I’m going to survive without her. I mean that, literally.

After reciting my daily prayer with her, I kissed her on her soft cheek and made my way to school. The school bus ride seemed much longer than usual today. The sky seemed pretty gloomy for it to be so late in the spring. The thick Detroit air gave me chills. Although I was being honored today for graduating top in my class, I still felt like something bad was going to happen. I couldn’t help but think that I will probably go home to find out Grandma has passed away. A few weeks ago she requested for the doctors to send her home for hospice care. Hospice care is when a team of professionals and volunteers provide end-of-life care, focusing on making the patient comfortable before they die. Grandma wanted to be home when she transitioned from the earth to the heavens. She said the hospitals treat her well, but there is nothing like being in the comfort of your own home.

I know her real reason for wanting to be home is so that she can keep a close eye on me I know its hurting Grandma to leave me behind. When she dies, I will probably be shipped off into the system and placed with a family who could care less about me. I will only be useful for the government benefits that come along with unwanted children like myself. I may look like the ideal candidate for adoption. But, the truth is, a lot of the kids who look like me, that get placed in foster homes in the area where I live, are only being used. That’s why she’s fighting as hard as she can. It hurts me to see her struggling. The chemo is tearing her body apart. I feel so selfish for wanting her to hold on, but I love her too much to let her go. "Lord, please just give me a little bit more time with her. I’m not ready yet." I said a quick prayer before entering my school.

Coffee Middle School is a large school with predominately black kids. There are maybe a handful of Caucasian, Arabic, and a few Mexicans.  Located in the middle of the Detroit’s Eastside, the school is poor and lacks the funds required to provide a proper education. But I’ve learned how to work with whatever resources I’ve been dealt. Grandma has never received any real education. Everything she’s learned, she’s done so on her own or with my help. We teach each other. She’s taught me how to live by the bible and I’ve taught her the laws of the land.

The long hallways were empty today. A lot of the kids don’t show up on the last day. Either because they’ve already started their summer vacations at home on the couch, or they were not expecting any awards at the ceremony held today to honor our accomplishments and just don’t care. Those that did show up were probably forced by their parents just so that they can enjoy one more free day at home without the kids, or because they actually care and take pride in their kid’s accomplishments. I, amongst all of the students, just needed to have perfect attendance. Grandma has always been real big on me showing up for class. Even while she lay on her death bed, she refuses to let me stay home from school. When you are committed to something you put your all into it. Never let anything stop you from getting it done. is what she would tell me when I needed motivation to get to school. Even on a sick day.

I wasn’t in the mood for school today. I was grateful that today would be a very easy day and that would help time go by fast. I walked in to Homeroom to find there were only 13 kids, out of 27, that showed up. The empty classroom made me nervous about the ceremony. More than likely, all 13 of these kids would have someone in attendance to support them, but I, the kid with the most awards, wouldn’t.  I sat nervously as the teacher explained the day’s schedule. After Homeroom was over, we would head to the school’s auditorium for an hour and a half ceremony, and once that ended, we would be able to have lunch with our families on the school’s field. I was secretly hoping the gloomy skies outside meant that it would rain soon and the lunch would be canceled. I didn’t want to look like the lonely kid in the corner with no family. I imagined that’s what my life would soon be like, once Grandma passed away. I would be the lonely kid, with no family, hopping from house to house, hoping to find love somewhere.

Mr. Price did your grandmother find someone to come support you today? My homeroom teacher, Mrs. McClain, asked me a question she already knew the answer to.

No ma’am, she didn’t have the time....she’s dying I replied. I didn’t mean to be rude, although I felt like she was by asking me such an obvious question, in front of the whole class. But Grandma always taught me to respect my elders, even when they don’t show me respect. She would often say Let God deal with them folk. He will reward you for your obedience.

Its okay, Tony. My Grandma died last year. Tamara was one of the few kids in my class who actually liked me. She spoke up as an attempt to comfort me. I’ve never had any friends at