Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture

By Adam S. McHugh and Scot McKnight

Introverts have gifts for the church and the world. But many churches tend to be extroverted places where introverts are marginalized. Some Christians end up feeling like it's not as faithful to be an introvert. Adam McHugh shows how introverts can live and minister in ways consistent with their personalities. He explains how introverts and extroverts process information and approach relationships differently and how introverts can practice Christian spirituality in ways that fit who they are. With practical illustrations from church and parachurch contexts, McHugh offers ways for introverts to serve, lead, worship, and even evangelize effectively. Introverts in the Church is essential reading for any introvert who has ever felt out of place, as well as for church leaders who want to make their churches more welcoming to introverts. This expanded edition has been revised throughout and includes new research on the neuroscience of introversion and material for parenting and encouraging introverted youth. Discover God's call and empowerment to thrive as an introvert, for the sake of the church and kingdom.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Independent Publishers Group
• Release date: Jul 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9780830889273

Adam S. McHugh

Adam S. McHugh (ThM, Princeton Theological Seminary) is an ordained Presbyterian minister and spiritual director, and a regular contributor to Susan Cain's Quiet Revolution website. He has served at two Presbyterian churches, as a hospice chaplain and as campus staff with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. He is the author of The Listening Life, which won the 2017 Christianity Today Book Award for spiritual formation, and Introverts in the Church, and lives on the central coast of California.

Book preview

preface

to the Revised and Expanded Edition

WHEN THE FIRST EDITION of Introverts in the Church was released, a dear friend and mentor wrote one of the first book reviews. It began like this: "Introverts in the Church. No, this is not a joke." And here I thought the title was significantly less funny than some of the working titles I played with:

Introverts in the Hands of an Extroverted God

Girl Meets Introvert, Keeps Looking

Left Behind, and Happy About It

Surprisingly, InterVarsity Press rejected those options. We compromised on a somewhat boring though effectively descriptive title, but apparently introverts in the church can also function as a punch line. Apparently it summons images of people diving under the pews during the church greeting time like a Cold War air raid drill.

Introversion, however, has become a much more serious topic since the first edition was published. Back then, IVP’s director of sales had to persuade his colleagues to run with my idea, and he told me, It’s not a very sexy topic, but we see the need for such a discussion. Yet, seven years later when I submitted the manuscript for my second book, The Listening Life, they said, Well, listening is an important topic, but it’s not as sexy as your first book.

Somewhere along the way, introverts got sexy. That quiet, awkward kid you knew in school grew up, developed some confidence, and is now on the cover of Strong & Silent magazine. And for so many reasons, he’s not taking your call.

We are now living in the era of the Quiet Revolution, launched by the release of Susan Cain’s 2012 blockbuster, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and her TED talk that has been viewed over thirteen million times. Many of my readers discovered Introverts in the Church after reading Quiet, so they assumed my book came out after hers, as the Christian knockoff, the introversion that’s safe for your entire family. But no, my book preceded hers by three years, and many have said that Introverts in the Church was the match that ignited the introverted fire. (No one has said this.)

I have been writing about introversion for eleven years now. That’s a surprising number of words about being quiet. Contrary to the belief of those who only know me online, I do think about other things besides personality type, but introversion does have a way of creeping into my everyday thoughts. As I pour my cereal in the morning, I wonder, What type of cereal do introverts prefer? Shredded Wheat has substance and depth, but Lucky Charms has layers of meaning, and the more you eat it, the more you learn about it. Then I snap back, realize I am psychoanalyzing my cereal, and consider pouring the green-colored milk over my head. Because obviously I went with Lucky Charms. Introverts love symbols.

A lot of my fellow introverts are also finding their words these days, as so many of us have taken up our keyboards in defense of our disposition. I am amazed at how widespread this discussion has become. It would seem that staying in is the new going out. While I, of course, celebrate that, I have become troubled that these introversion conversations drift in a particular direction, and that is in pointing out what we are not. I cringe when I see articles with titles such as Why Introverts Hate Small Talk or worse: I Am an Introvert, Leave Me Alone! And while I have been known to ask, Why is it that when my cat streaks under the bed when the doorbell rings it’s adorable, but when I do it, people say it’s disturbing and that I need help? I realize in doing so I am feeding the impression that we are misanthropic weirdos.

My genuine concern is that we are giving the world the impression that ours is an orientation defined by what we lack. We aren’t gregarious, excitable, or charismatic. We dislike crowds and loud stimulation. We have less energy. Sometimes it’s implied that we don’t like other people or that we don’t value Christian community. It seems that extroversion gets to be defined by what it is, but introversion is too often defined by what it isn’t.

I know the confusions circling about the introverted temperament in an extroverted society, and I understand why we introverts can feel defensive about our social patterns. I know that introverts continue to struggle in Christian culture. But our temperament is now part of a broader cultural dialogue, and my hope is that we can move away from a defensive posture into a more constructive one. Now that we know up to half of the population falls on the introverted side of the spectrum, we no longer have to fight like we are backed into a corner. ¹ That is one of the major changes that I have made in this new edition: I have tried to place even more emphasis on celebrating our temperament and embracing the gifts we have to offer society and the church. Let’s rejoice in what we are.

What’s fascinating and frustrating about writing a book is that from the moment it is published, it almost instantly becomes an artifact. It quickly becomes a symbol of past thought and of prior experience. The author changes but the book does not. And while I largely agree with what I wrote years ago, I have grown as a person, as a believer, and as a writer. I am thankful for the new research that Susan Cain and others have done in understanding how introversion relates to neurology and sensitivity to stimuli. I am happy to integrate some of their work into this new edition. I have also added a section on ministering to introverted youth in chapter seven, as well as broadened the overall themes to address larger swaths of church culture, not only evangelical practice. The more I have talked with introverted churchgoers over the past few years, the more I have realized how powerfully the extroverted ideal sweeps through almost all liturgical traditions. And I am happiest to strike some of the unnecessary verbiage from the previous edition. Who knew that an introvert could be so wordy?

Discussions about personality type always receive some pushback, either from people who resist any form of labeling and consider it oversimplistic or else from people in the church who protest that categories like introversion and extroversion are not in the Bible. It’s always interesting to observe what cultural phenomena are received into church circles and which are not. And I assure you that no one is more aware of the limitations of personality profiles than those of us who write about them. Human beings gloriously and maddeningly defy categorization. Yet I persist in writing about introversion because millions of people continue to find the definition helpful, illuminating, and liberating. Introversion is not my gospel or my core identity, but while I still struggle with it at times, I can truly say at this point that I wouldn’t want to be any other way. While some may assail us for daydreaming and too often getting lost in thought, I truly believe that I have been found in thought.

I owe an overdue thank you to the people of InterVarsity Press—particularly Jeff Crosby, who championed the project from the very beginning, and Al Hsu, who put up with my early anxieties as a first-time author dealing with imposter syndrome. I continue to be grateful for the marketing team as well, notably Krista Clayton, who may be the only one there who shares my sense of humor. While I wish I had a glad-handing, extroverted dynamo of a twin brother to do the marketing side of publishing a book, I am glad to have all of their talents in my corner.

introduction

Can Introverts Thrive in the Church?

CAN INTROVERTS thrive in the church?

This question for me is neither abstract nor academic, but it strikes me first on a deeply personal level. I am an introvert, and this question has fueled a meandering and bumpy journey that has led me in and out of Christian community, both as a church member and as a pastor. This has been a journey of both self-discovery—as I have been learning how to make peace with my personality and to work out of it instead of against it—and of God-discovery—as I have been growing in my ability to see God’s hand in my introverted life and ministry. On this journey I have been regularly accompanied by disappointment and hope, two companions that have worked together to push me onward.

The story begins at a mailbox on a street corner in Princeton, New Jersey. I stand there staring at this unfeeling blue box, wearing only one winter glove because my other ungloved hand clutches an envelope. It is a brisk afternoon, with the late winter winds gusting, negating the effects of the sun. New Jersey commuters, hoping to find a nonexistent shortcut through the seminary neighborhood, pass by with puzzled glances.

It is the day that my potential for leadership in the church has come to an end, without ever truly beginning. What I hold in my ever-reddening hand is my resignation letter from the ordination process of my denomination. I have wrestled mightily with this process for four years, and just an hour earlier I had resolved that I am not called to ordained ministry.

When I entered seminary, I had dreams of doctoral work in New Testament studies and a romanticized version of academia: I pictured myself sipping French roast and poring over the pages of my Greek New Testament, attending snobbish cocktail parties and teaching eager students while wearing a tweed jacket with leather patches. Those hopes were dashed on the first warm spring day of April. When I was outside, relishing the rebirth of spring, all the PhD students were sitting at their personalized library carrels, reading dusty books like every other day. I knew then as I reveled in the sunshine that scholarship was not for me. I couldn’t spend my life in a musty library writing reviews of obscure books on clear days.

So, as a fallback plan, I considered ordained ministry. Though I doubted whether I was well suited for such a ministry, I wondered what other career options a seminarian had. I squirmed through my classes on marriage and family, pastoral counseling, and community and small groups, because pastoral ministry requires a person to move quickly in crisis situations, to float from one circle to the next, and to mobilize people of contrasting personalities. In other words, I knew that ordained ministry required social skills, and I wasn’t sure I had them. Even when I was able to muster enough energy or warmth to connect with people, I was soon drained and exhausted, ready for a nap.

My one hope for pastoral ministry was that my teaching and preaching abilities would mitigate my questionable social skills. The events preceding this afternoon at the mailbox cracked that illusion. At my apartment a block away are the remnants of a blue test booklet, smoldering in a trashcan on the porch, which contains the ashes of my biblical exegesis exam, part of the strict regimen prescribed for ordination. Just a month earlier I had written an exposition of a passage in Matthew’s Gospel and a sermon outline. But on this ungracious day, I have learned that I, a student in a New Testament master’s degree program, have failed the biblical exegesis exam . . . again. It’s time to go postal.

After receiving this knockout blow, I stroll up to the cold post office box, which will soon become the coffin for my vocational plans. I remove my glove, extract the resignation letter from my pea coat, and extend my hand toward the mailbox’s jaws of death. But then I stop. Against the sagest of motherly advice, I stand in the frigid air, my naked hand exposed, while the envelope flutters in the wind. Questions flood my mind: Is it worth it? Do I really want to give up my future in ministry with this last impersonal act of defiance? Will I regret this hollow victory for the rest of my life? Is this more of an identity struggle than a career struggle? Am I letting my personal sense of failure and inadequacy preemptively disqualify me from pastoral ministry? After about thirty cars pass, I turn, return the envelope to my coat pocket, put on my glove, and trudge home.

What had prevented me from slamming the mailbox door on my future in ministry? I’m not sure. But I do know that this story is unfinished.

Years later, I came to realize that my internal death matches in those days were not vocational per se but were primarily temperamental. Even before I began pastoral ministry, I was convinced that my personality excluded me from it. There was no room in ministry for someone of my disposition—or so I thought.

In my mind at the time, ideal pastors were gregarious, able to move through crowds effortlessly, able to quickly turn strangers into friends. Their pulses quickened each time they set foot on the church campus on a Sunday morning. They were people magnets, drawing others to themselves through their charisma, capable of chatting with anyone, about anything, at any time. I saw them surrounded by adoring church members, percolating with warmth, streaked with the praise of their community.

I, on the other hand, relished times of solitude, reflection, and personal study. I enjoyed people, and I valued deep relationships and conversation, but even when I spent time with people I liked, I pined for moments of privacy. I found mingling among crowds of strangers draining and intimidating. Even though I could stand up in front of others and preach with confidence, I would stumble through the social time afterward because I had met my quota of words for the day.

Though I did not know it back then, there is a label for this personality feature that I once thought crippled my ministry potential: introversion. But there was more than my temperament producing these agonizing doubts. I had constructed a one-dimensional model of leadership, and there was an irresolvable conflict between that image and the temperamental characteristics of introverts. I believed that ministers and other Christian leaders needed a certain set of personality traits in order to thrive in ministry. I tried to beat and squeeze myself into a mold of leadership instead of becoming the kind of leader that God designed me to be.

My struggles to be an introverted pastor are representative of the struggles many introverts face when navigating the waters of Christian community, which can be unintentionally, or intentionally, biased toward extroversion. As a pastor who has participated in both independent and denominationally affiliated churches, it is my experience that evangelical churches, in particular, can be difficult places for introverts to thrive, both for theological and cultural reasons. Just as I have had a difficult time squaring my own temperament with common roles and expressions of the pastoral ministry, so also many introverted Christians struggle with how to find balance between their own natural tendencies and evangelical perspectives on community and evangelism. A subtle but insidious message can permeate these communities, a message that says God is most pleased with extroversion.

It is not only evangelical churches that subconsciously elevate the attributes of extroversion and seek leaders who demonstrate the overt qualities of extroverts. While mainline and liturgical churches may allow for more quiet in their worship and practice, as church membership continues to decline in the United States, all churches are liable to push for a louder message and a more aggressive evangelistic strategy.

Fortunately, disappointment has not been my only fellow traveler on this road, but I have also been accompanied by hope: hope in the calling, healing, and transformative power of God. The same mysterious force that seemed to prevent me from depositing my resignation that day has also been a constant voice calling me into church ministry, parachurch ministry, and chaplaincy. I continue to walk through a process of self-acceptance, both in terms of my introvert identity and also in terms of the gifts and contributions I bring to the Christian community.

My hope is that through this book God will begin or continue a process of healing introverts—helping you find freedom in your identities and confidence to live your faith in ways that feel natural and life giving. I want introverts to embrace that you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are citizens with the saints and also members of the household of God (Eph 2:19). Further, I hope that God will unlock in introverts the tremendous gifts that you have to bring to the church. As I will discuss later, introverts have a set of qualities that contribute widely to the ministry of the church and to the building up of the body of Christ. When the church is led by introverts and extroverts who partner together, each contributing their strengths and offsetting the others’ weaknesses, it is a testimony that the Holy Spirit is orchestrating the community, that it is not being run by the cult of personality.

I have only taken a few steps on this introverted journey of faith, but I wish to invite you, who are perhaps wearing only one glove yourself, to join and walk with me.

the extroverted church

The extrovert God of John 3:16 does not beget an introvert people.

RICHARD HALVERSON, THE TIMELESSNESS OF JESUS CHRIST

ALLOW ME to begin by painting you a picture of someone who would be held up as the ideal of faithfulness in many Christian communities. Imagine a person who is highly sociable and gregarious, someone who is expressive and enthusiastic and transparent, with overt passion and a broad smile, a person who shares her faith easily, who assumes leadership responsibilities and meets new people quickly, someone who participates in a wide variety of activities and groups, and a person who eagerly invites people into her home.

Such a person would likely be praised as the perfect Christian, the very epitome of faith, disciple of disciples, someone who truly gets what it means to follow Jesus. Churches would have a bidding war over her. Such a believer would be a beautifully faithful person; however, such a believer would also be an extremely extroverted person.

In a 2004 psychological study, students at a Christian college were asked to rate the person of Jesus according to the categories of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. In most categories the students were divided, and they predictably showed a tendency to cast Jesus in their own image. But there were two categories in which students definitively came down on one side. In the thinking-feeling category, 87 percent of the students rated Jesus as a feeler; however, 83 percent of the students also identified themselves as feelers. The truly revealing results, though, were found in the extrovert-introvert category. Although more than half (54 percent) of these students tested as introverts, almost all of the students surveyed (97 percent) said that Jesus was an extrovert.

Extroverts and introverts alike overwhelmingly considered Jesus to be an extrovert. This is surprising because the biblical evidence of Jesus’ personality is not so clear-cut. Our red-letter Bibles may tempt us to focus on his words and overlook the nonverbal aspects of his ministry.

Though he regularly teaches throngs of people, we also see him at critical times retreating from the crowds to pray in solitude and to spend time with his closest friends. He commandeers boats in order to create distance from the urgent energy of crowds. He seems to prefer depth of relationship and conversation with a select few. While it is impossible to know for certain, Jesus’ personality actually seems balanced between extroversion and introversion. How then does 97 percent of a focus group categorize Jesus as an extrovert? The psychology professor administering

Reviews for Introverts in the Church

[patl_53 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a review, book summary and strong recommendation for a book that I finished a month or so ago, but have been processing through since then. I strongly recommend that you read:

"Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture" (Adam S. McHugh)

Adam McHugh describes himself as a Presbyterian minister, spiritual director, wine lover, Seattle sports fan, and introvert. (As an admitted fan of Seattle sports teams, he's well acquainted with longsuffering and disappointment.)

Here's his thesis: Although introverts make up slightly over 50% of the population, the American culture and American church culture (particularly in evangelicalism) are strongly biased towards extroversion and extroverted leaders. Introverts can and should participate and lead from their own gifts, not by trying to be who they are not. And because we as leaders and the organizations we lead think positively of extroversion and negatively of introversion, we introverted leaders find ourselves leading inauthentically and ineffectively.

Introversion is a personality preference (or a wiring), and from the Meyers-Biggs typology system we find three primary characteristics of introversion. These characteristics are tendencies and not absolutes, but in my experience they certainly ring true.

1. Introverts are energized by solitude. Time with other people (especially large groups and strangers) drains us of energy. This does not mean that we are antisocial or impersonal, simply that we need solitude to recharge after being with people. Extroverts, by contrast, lose energy in solitude and gain it around other people.

2. Introverts process information internally. We need to filter information and experiences in our inner world. We can get overwhelmed by too much information or input if we haven't kept up on processing. Extroverts tend to process information externally, often by speaking though what they are thinking, trying out ideas as they speak whether they believe what they saying or not.

3. Introverts prefer depth over breadth. We tend to have fewer but more intimate friends than extroverts, who tend to have more, less intimate friends. We tend to have depth in fewer interests. We desire to deeply understand ourselves and our inner lives.

Given these tendencies, consider the average American evangelical church worship gathering. It is large, loud, multimedia focused. Interaction with other attendees is expected and encouraged. The expectation is that members will engage in large group experiences and in smaller group sessions, and will engage in a variety of activities. Leaders are expected to know everyone, at least in passing, but to be able to interact with each individual. Conferences and seminars are long, tightly programmed, busy and offer little time for reflection.

The most valued leadership traits are being energized being around people, being able and willing to lead a wide variety of areas and teams, being quick to speak and think.

We have a disconnect, don't we?

At this point, McHugh could simply complain about the state of the church, and issue a prophetic (demanding) call for change. However, he instead shapes the conversation in a healthy way - positively encouraging change by both introverts and extroverts (not discounting that both tendencies exist, but bringing both streams together as a whole).

Just to summarize the focuses of the remaining chapters, the book looks at spirituality for introverts (heavy emphasis on contemplative); community and relationship for introverts (finding the right fit and giving ourselves permission to opt out of the busyness); introverted leadership (lead by giving away; looking at Jonathan Edwards, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. as introverted leaders); leading as ourselves (give ourselves permission to not be extroverted and to lead from who we truly are); introverted evangelism (relationship wins, small and practical is great); and being an introverted church members (rethink expectations, give people room to process differently).

I've got notes and highlights and comments all throughout this book. It's not that often that I read a book that is so unique and yet so practical, and one that makes me feel like the author gets it (and me). Many times I thought, "Exactly! I'm not crazy after all; I'm not the only introvert who wonders if God called me just to laugh at my struggles."

So here's the bottom line.

- If you're a leader - not just pastor or teacher, but a people-influencer... in the church, or anywhere else

- if you're an introvert (and are worn out trying to be extroverted, even unintentionally)

- If you're an extrovert who just doesn't get why half your church doesn't think and act like you..

... you will be greatly helped and deeply blessed by reading Introverts in the Church.

If you lead a church with a team of staff, read it with them. Do a group discussion. Give introverts on your staff a voice. (Or if you're the introvert, hear from the extroverts).

I don't think it's at all an overstatement to say that this is an extremely important book, which may just save your sanity by reminding you who you truly are, and who your complement truly is also.

I would wish this book upon all the leaders that I know, in addition to Henri Nouwen's In the Name of Jesus, and Jean Vanier's Becoming Human. A Christian church which had wrestled through these books would change the world.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the authorr. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising

[jenniferrobb · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If you've ever been exhausted by interacting with people or wondered how to witness when you can't draw a crowd to you and energize them with your vision, this book is for you! Adam McHugh is an introvert who almost quit the ministry, believing that his personality wasn't well suited. Over the years, he has found ways to cope with ministry demands so he doesn't burn out and to find service opportunities that play to his strengths and the strengths of other introverts in his congregations.

Though it does focus on the church setting, the lessons can also be applied to life and to other settings.

[stevemccoy-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Books change us in different ways. Some help confirm what we already know. Some teach us something new. Some challenge our thinking or theology. Some help us grow in our faith. And so on. Few books really change me deeply. Directly. Powerfully. Never to look back. I didn't expect it, but this one had me spinning for days and still eager to consider the implications more and more. I'll be honest. I was in a rut. I still am trying to turn my way out. I need refreshment. I need recharging. I need renewal. And God has used Introverts in the Church by Adam McHugh to show me how I put myself in the rut and how to get out. And that was just after the first 2 chapters.What is realized is that I've been working hard for years at being more extroverted. After all, the more extroverted I could be the better I could function in ministry. I'd be a better evangelist and preacher and counselor and networker and so on. Imagine the hunger to be in constant interaction with the people around you in pastoral ministry. I romanticized that idea, but struggled to follow through. I have been streaky at best. And the more I felt guilty about it, the more drained I became and harder I worked to be something that didn't *click*. McHugh explained a picture of me in the book that opened my eyes.McHugh helped explain my introversion in super-helpful recognizable attributes (p 42). I recharge best alone or with close friends or family. I need rest after outside activities and interaction with people. I'm territorial with private & family space and treat my home like a sanctuary. Small talk drives me batty. My brain is bubbling with activity no matter what else is going on around me. And so on. I think while reading this chapter I giggled with delight at the things I learned about myself that I knew but didn't know, if you know what I mean. Ok, I didn't "giggle." I'm a dude, after all. But I grinned big and in a giggle-y way.Introverts in the Church gave me glasses to see myself more clearly as well as the introverts around me. And, by the way, it ends up being very helpful to understand extroverts since comparisons are so often made. Then McHugh weaves them together to show how we individually a mixture of the two since none of us are pure introvert or extrovert, and the church is also a mixture of the two having people of all variations. In many ways this book is really about the varied gifts in the body of Christ and how we need them all.I think I've been duped into believing that the best gift I could give my church is to become more like someone else. I knew better than to want to be John Piper. But I overlooked the problem of not wanting to be an introvert. Books and blogs and Twitter and the rest are perfect places to develop extroversion envy. Through a number of things over the past year, culminating with this book, God has put me in my place. And for the first time in a while being an introvert the place I want to be. Now I'm working to relearn the rhythms that make sense for me to be me when I pray, work, rest, serve and enjoy the life and calling God gave me. For that work McHugh gives helpful chapters on introverted spirituality, community & relationship. leadership, evangelism and more. These chapters will be helpful friends to revisit along that pathway.I think what I learned most as I reflected on Introverts in the Church, and what is changing most about me because of it, is that my best work for the church as a pastor is deep work. It's reading deep. Praying. Contemplating. Being silent. Enjoying the refreshing presence of God.Introverts in the Church is one of the most important books I've read in years. It's not perfect. I may have written things a bit differently here and there. I might have used different examples and stories in places. And my journey is different than yours, so you may not have the same experience as me. But I believe it will help free people in similar situations as me to be who God made them to be. For that reason it's highly recommended for introverts and church leaders. I can't help but to think this will also be helpful for parents, coaches, teachers and to people working with people in numerous avenues of life.

[thornestaff · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If you are an introvert trying to navigate the extroversion-focused elements of the church, or if you can't seem to understand someone you know who is an introvert, this is definitely the book for you.Adam McHugh discusses the traits of introversion, generally, and although I know a lot about introversion, I learned some things about myself and how introversion plays a part in the things I do. But McHugh then goes on to discuss how introverts engage faith and church community in an eye-opening way. Finally, he ends by listing ways churches can be more inclusive toward introverts, and how introverts can serve the church in a meaningful way.A good read for extroverts and introverts alike, and especially useful for church leaders.

[deusvitae · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An excellent investigation into the life, experiences, and challenges of introverts in Christianity, especially in "evangelical" or "conservative" Christianity.The author, a strong introvert, explains through his own research, conversations, and experiences the challenges confronting introverts in the highly extroverted atmosphere of Christianity. The author discusses the science behind the differences between introverts and extroverts. He discusses matters of spirituality, leadership, evangelism, and congregational participation, demonstrating the challenges that often exist for introverts in those situations and attempting to sketch out a more introverted methodology for them. The author writes mostly about and to introverts but is even-handed. He decries the over-emphasis on the extroverted side of Christianity and the under-emphasis on the introverted side of Christianity and also those who would consider introversion a detraction or sinful. His goal is not to advance introverted Christianity to the detriment of extroverted Christianity, however-- his intent is for both to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of each other and to work together.I have tended to consider myself more of an introvert, and yet I often felt more akin to the examples of extroversion mentioned. Nevertheless, I still perceive many introverted tendencies, and this is probably the biggest weakness of the book-- it portrays introversion and extroversion as an either/or affair and has little to say to people who, in various ways, exist in both realms. Nonetheless, this is a book that everyone who ministers and is active in promoting the Kingdom of God should read. For those who are extroverted and who have, however consciously or unconsciously, advanced an "extroverted Gospel" to the detriment of the introverts around us, it should be rather illuminating and hopefully will lead to greater acceptance and appreciation of introverts in the faith.

[shannonkearns · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

On the one hand this book is really interesting and opens up an important conversation about the life of introverts in the church. On the other hand this book assumes that evangelical Christianity is the only type of Christianity. That means this book will be of much less use to a large number of church folks.I was also frustrated that the chapter that included the most practical advice was the chapter on evangelism which I find buys into this idea that our role in the world is to convert the unbelievers. That was frustrating. There was other advice offered throughout the book but I found none of it to be as straightforward as it was in that chapter.Overall I would recommend this book simply because it's the only one of it's kind but if you're not affiliated with evangelical churches be prepared to overlook a lot of evangelical language and assumptions.

[ludiegrace · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A helpful book for Christian introverts and those who love them. I wish it had been around when I was in college/early seminary. The chapters on leadership were especially interesting, but the author lost me a little with the emphasis on contemplative spirituality (I'm very wordy even when silent!) and introverts' supposed affinity for "postmodern" worship forms...not so true for me.

But still, I value what McHugh is offering in this book and am glad he wrote it. I like that he emphasizes understanding of introverts without coddling them, points out areas for necessary (even uncomfortable) growth, and attempts to differentiate between introversion, shyness/social anxiety, and unhealthy social behaviors.

[mrslee_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I have spent 31 years trying to live a "good" Christian life as an extrovert. I was beginning to think that the Christian community, as in organized fellowship, was not for me. This book has helped me immensely. It has shown me that not only are my introvert leanings not "disobedient," they are a gift from God and useful to my Christian family.Adam McHugh explains what an introvert personality is, how it is different from an extrovert personality and how one can use it for the glory of God. He also helped me to understand why church has been so exhausting and joyless for the last 10 years, because most of American Protestant churches are modeled on an extrovert example. It is refreshing and hopeful to read about what an integrated church could be like with both times of reflection and deep study, and times of fellowship and exhortation.I have found many challenges to my spiritual life within these pages. I am learning to have a reflective time with the Holy Spirit before bed to review my day, rather than my thoughts going round and round in circles. Examining my days for times of reflection and times of action, being sure that both are present, has helped me to be more effective.One chapter I wish had been included, would be on how to understand and work beside extrovert personalities.This has been an important read for me, one which I am sure I will refer back to many times and also pass along to others.

[pa5t0rd_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I highly recommend this book for both those that are introverts and also to those extrovert pastors out there...This book sheds light on a lot of harmful ways we as the church behave and expect introverts to participate in church life.

[cbl_tn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

After years of frustration and anguish, Presbyterian pastor Adam S. McHugh has grown to understand and embrace his introverted personality and draw on its strengths for ministry. He shares what he's learned from his reading on personality theory, his interviews with fellow introverts in a variety of ministry positions, and his own experience. McHugh points out the spiritual dangers in the emphasis on extroverted behaviors that are characteristic in contemporary evangelical Christianity, sometimes to the point that introverts are considered sinners if they don't adopt certain extroverted behaviors. This book will help introverts understand and accept their natures and give themselves permission to carve out the solitude they need for processing their thoughts and experiences. Extroverted readers will gain an awareness and insight into the different ways that introverts experience the world that will help them be sensitive to the needs of their introverted parishioners and colleagues. McHugh cautions introverts not to use their personality as an excuse for isolating themselves from the community that is integral to the church. This book would be particularly useful for those in ministry or preparing for ministry. It also offers a lot of value for lay readers. Highly recommended.