Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture

By Adam S. McHugh

Introverts in the Church

• Language: English
• Publisher: IVP Books
• Release date: Nov 20, 2009
• ISBN: 9780830878222

Adam S. McHugh

Adam S. McHugh (ThM, Princeton Theological Seminary) is an ordained Presbyterian minister and spiritual director, and a regular contributor to Susan Cain's Quiet Revolution website. He has served at two Presbyterian churches, as a hospice chaplain and as campus staff with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. He is the author of The Listening Life, which won the 2017 Christianity Today Book Award for spiritual formation, and Introverts in the Church, and lives on the central coast of California.

Reviews for Introverts in the Church

[patl_53 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a review, book summary and strong recommendation for a book that I finished a month or so ago, but have been processing through since then. I strongly recommend that you read:

"Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture" (Adam S. McHugh)

Adam McHugh describes himself as a Presbyterian minister, spiritual director, wine lover, Seattle sports fan, and introvert. (As an admitted fan of Seattle sports teams, he's well acquainted with longsuffering and disappointment.)

Here's his thesis: Although introverts make up slightly over 50% of the population, the American culture and American church culture (particularly in evangelicalism) are strongly biased towards extroversion and extroverted leaders. Introverts can and should participate and lead from their own gifts, not by trying to be who they are not. And because we as leaders and the organizations we lead think positively of extroversion and negatively of introversion, we introverted leaders find ourselves leading inauthentically and ineffectively.

Introversion is a personality preference (or a wiring), and from the Meyers-Biggs typology system we find three primary characteristics of introversion. These characteristics are tendencies and not absolutes, but in my experience they certainly ring true.

1. Introverts are energized by solitude. Time with other people (especially large groups and strangers) drains us of energy. This does not mean that we are antisocial or impersonal, simply that we need solitude to recharge after being with people. Extroverts, by contrast, lose energy in solitude and gain it around other people.

2. Introverts process information internally. We need to filter information and experiences in our inner world. We can get overwhelmed by too much information or input if we haven't kept up on processing. Extroverts tend to process information externally, often by speaking though what they are thinking, trying out ideas as they speak whether they believe what they saying or not.

3. Introverts prefer depth over breadth. We tend to have fewer but more intimate friends than extroverts, who tend to have more, less intimate friends. We tend to have depth in fewer interests. We desire to deeply understand ourselves and our inner lives.

Given these tendencies, consider the average American evangelical church worship gathering. It is large, loud, multimedia focused. Interaction with other attendees is expected and encouraged. The expectation is that members will engage in large group experiences and in smaller group sessions, and will engage in a variety of activities. Leaders are expected to know everyone, at least in passing, but to be able to interact with each individual. Conferences and seminars are long, tightly programmed, busy and offer little time for reflection.

The most valued leadership traits are being energized being around people, being able and willing to lead a wide variety of areas and teams, being quick to speak and think.

We have a disconnect, don't we?

At this point, McHugh could simply complain about the state of the church, and issue a prophetic (demanding) call for change. However, he instead shapes the conversation in a healthy way - positively encouraging change by both introverts and extroverts (not discounting that both tendencies exist, but bringing both streams together as a whole).

Just to summarize the focuses of the remaining chapters, the book looks at spirituality for introverts (heavy emphasis on contemplative); community and relationship for introverts (finding the right fit and giving ourselves permission to opt out of the busyness); introverted leadership (lead by giving away; looking at Jonathan Edwards, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. as introverted leaders); leading as ourselves (give ourselves permission to not be extroverted and to lead from who we truly are); introverted evangelism (relationship wins, small and practical is great); and being an introverted church members (rethink expectations, give people room to process differently).

I've got notes and highlights and comments all throughout this book. It's not that often that I read a book that is so unique and yet so practical, and one that makes me feel like the author gets it (and me). Many times I thought, "Exactly! I'm not crazy after all; I'm not the only introvert who wonders if God called me just to laugh at my struggles."

So here's the bottom line.

- If you're a leader - not just pastor or teacher, but a people-influencer... in the church, or anywhere else

- if you're an introvert (and are worn out trying to be extroverted, even unintentionally)

- If you're an extrovert who just doesn't get why half your church doesn't think and act like you..

... you will be greatly helped and deeply blessed by reading Introverts in the Church.

If you lead a church with a team of staff, read it with them. Do a group discussion. Give introverts on your staff a voice. (Or if you're the introvert, hear from the extroverts).

I don't think it's at all an overstatement to say that this is an extremely important book, which may just save your sanity by reminding you who you truly are, and who your complement truly is also.

I would wish this book upon all the leaders that I know, in addition to Henri Nouwen's In the Name of Jesus, and Jean Vanier's Becoming Human. A Christian church which had wrestled through these books would change the world.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the authorr. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising

[jenniferrobb · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If you've ever been exhausted by interacting with people or wondered how to witness when you can't draw a crowd to you and energize them with your vision, this book is for you! Adam McHugh is an introvert who almost quit the ministry, believing that his personality wasn't well suited. Over the years, he has found ways to cope with ministry demands so he doesn't burn out and to find service opportunities that play to his strengths and the strengths of other introverts in his congregations.

Though it does focus on the church setting, the lessons can also be applied to life and to other settings.

[pa5t0rd_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I highly recommend this book for both those that are introverts and also to those extrovert pastors out there...This book sheds light on a lot of harmful ways we as the church behave and expect introverts to participate in church life.

[cbl_tn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

After years of frustration and anguish, Presbyterian pastor Adam S. McHugh has grown to understand and embrace his introverted personality and draw on its strengths for ministry. He shares what he's learned from his reading on personality theory, his interviews with fellow introverts in a variety of ministry positions, and his own experience. McHugh points out the spiritual dangers in the emphasis on extroverted behaviors that are characteristic in contemporary evangelical Christianity, sometimes to the point that introverts are considered sinners if they don't adopt certain extroverted behaviors. This book will help introverts understand and accept their natures and give themselves permission to carve out the solitude they need for processing their thoughts and experiences. Extroverted readers will gain an awareness and insight into the different ways that introverts experience the world that will help them be sensitive to the needs of their introverted parishioners and colleagues. McHugh cautions introverts not to use their personality as an excuse for isolating themselves from the community that is integral to the church. This book would be particularly useful for those in ministry or preparing for ministry. It also offers a lot of value for lay readers. Highly recommended.

[stevemccoy-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Books change us in different ways. Some help confirm what we already know. Some teach us something new. Some challenge our thinking or theology. Some help us grow in our faith. And so on. Few books really change me deeply. Directly. Powerfully. Never to look back. I didn't expect it, but this one had me spinning for days and still eager to consider the implications more and more. I'll be honest. I was in a rut. I still am trying to turn my way out. I need refreshment. I need recharging. I need renewal. And God has used Introverts in the Church by Adam McHugh to show me how I put myself in the rut and how to get out. And that was just after the first 2 chapters.What is realized is that I've been working hard for years at being more extroverted. After all, the more extroverted I could be the better I could function in ministry. I'd be a better evangelist and preacher and counselor and networker and so on. Imagine the hunger to be in constant interaction with the people around you in pastoral ministry. I romanticized that idea, but struggled to follow through. I have been streaky at best. And the more I felt guilty about it, the more drained I became and harder I worked to be something that didn't *click*. McHugh explained a picture of me in the book that opened my eyes.McHugh helped explain my introversion in super-helpful recognizable attributes (p 42). I recharge best alone or with close friends or family. I need rest after outside activities and interaction with people. I'm territorial with private & family space and treat my home like a sanctuary. Small talk drives me batty. My brain is bubbling with activity no matter what else is going on around me. And so on. I think while reading this chapter I giggled with delight at the things I learned about myself that I knew but didn't know, if you know what I mean. Ok, I didn't "giggle." I'm a dude, after all. But I grinned big and in a giggle-y way.Introverts in the Church gave me glasses to see myself more clearly as well as the introverts around me. And, by the way, it ends up being very helpful to understand extroverts since comparisons are so often made. Then McHugh weaves them together to show how we individually a mixture of the two since none of us are pure introvert or extrovert, and the church is also a mixture of the two having people of all variations. In many ways this book is really about the varied gifts in the body of Christ and how we need them all.I think I've been duped into believing that the best gift I could give my church is to become more like someone else. I knew better than to want to be John Piper. But I overlooked the problem of not wanting to be an introvert. Books and blogs and Twitter and the rest are perfect places to develop extroversion envy. Through a number of things over the past year, culminating with this book, God has put me in my place. And for the first time in a while being an introvert the place I want to be. Now I'm working to relearn the rhythms that make sense for me to be me when I pray, work, rest, serve and enjoy the life and calling God gave me. For that work McHugh gives helpful chapters on introverted spirituality, community & relationship. leadership, evangelism and more. These chapters will be helpful friends to revisit along that pathway.I think what I learned most as I reflected on Introverts in the Church, and what is changing most about me because of it, is that my best work for the church as a pastor is deep work. It's reading deep. Praying. Contemplating. Being silent. Enjoying the refreshing presence of God.Introverts in the Church is one of the most important books I've read in years. It's not perfect. I may have written things a bit differently here and there. I might have used different examples and stories in places. And my journey is different than yours, so you may not have the same experience as me. But I believe it will help free people in similar situations as me to be who God made them to be. For that reason it's highly recommended for introverts and church leaders. I can't help but to think this will also be helpful for parents, coaches, teachers and to people working with people in numerous avenues of life.

[thornestaff · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If you are an introvert trying to navigate the extroversion-focused elements of the church, or if you can't seem to understand someone you know who is an introvert, this is definitely the book for you.Adam McHugh discusses the traits of introversion, generally, and although I know a lot about introversion, I learned some things about myself and how introversion plays a part in the things I do. But McHugh then goes on to discuss how introverts engage faith and church community in an eye-opening way. Finally, he ends by listing ways churches can be more inclusive toward introverts, and how introverts can serve the church in a meaningful way.A good read for extroverts and introverts alike, and especially useful for church leaders.

[deusvitae · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An excellent investigation into the life, experiences, and challenges of introverts in Christianity, especially in "evangelical" or "conservative" Christianity.The author, a strong introvert, explains through his own research, conversations, and experiences the challenges confronting introverts in the highly extroverted atmosphere of Christianity. The author discusses the science behind the differences between introverts and extroverts. He discusses matters of spirituality, leadership, evangelism, and congregational participation, demonstrating the challenges that often exist for introverts in those situations and attempting to sketch out a more introverted methodology for them. The author writes mostly about and to introverts but is even-handed. He decries the over-emphasis on the extroverted side of Christianity and the under-emphasis on the introverted side of Christianity and also those who would consider introversion a detraction or sinful. His goal is not to advance introverted Christianity to the detriment of extroverted Christianity, however-- his intent is for both to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of each other and to work together.I have tended to consider myself more of an introvert, and yet I often felt more akin to the examples of extroversion mentioned. Nevertheless, I still perceive many introverted tendencies, and this is probably the biggest weakness of the book-- it portrays introversion and extroversion as an either/or affair and has little to say to people who, in various ways, exist in both realms. Nonetheless, this is a book that everyone who ministers and is active in promoting the Kingdom of God should read. For those who are extroverted and who have, however consciously or unconsciously, advanced an "extroverted Gospel" to the detriment of the introverts around us, it should be rather illuminating and hopefully will lead to greater acceptance and appreciation of introverts in the faith.

[shannonkearns · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

On the one hand this book is really interesting and opens up an important conversation about the life of introverts in the church. On the other hand this book assumes that evangelical Christianity is the only type of Christianity. That means this book will be of much less use to a large number of church folks.I was also frustrated that the chapter that included the most practical advice was the chapter on evangelism which I find buys into this idea that our role in the world is to convert the unbelievers. That was frustrating. There was other advice offered throughout the book but I found none of it to be as straightforward as it was in that chapter.Overall I would recommend this book simply because it's the only one of it's kind but if you're not affiliated with evangelical churches be prepared to overlook a lot of evangelical language and assumptions.

[ludiegrace · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A helpful book for Christian introverts and those who love them. I wish it had been around when I was in college/early seminary. The chapters on leadership were especially interesting, but the author lost me a little with the emphasis on contemplative spirituality (I'm very wordy even when silent!) and introverts' supposed affinity for "postmodern" worship forms...not so true for me.

But still, I value what McHugh is offering in this book and am glad he wrote it. I like that he emphasizes understanding of introverts without coddling them, points out areas for necessary (even uncomfortable) growth, and attempts to differentiate between introversion, shyness/social anxiety, and unhealthy social behaviors.

[mrslee_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I have spent 31 years trying to live a "good" Christian life as an extrovert. I was beginning to think that the Christian community, as in organized fellowship, was not for me. This book has helped me immensely. It has shown me that not only are my introvert leanings not "disobedient," they are a gift from God and useful to my Christian family.Adam McHugh explains what an introvert personality is, how it is different from an extrovert personality and how one can use it for the glory of God. He also helped me to understand why church has been so exhausting and joyless for the last 10 years, because most of American Protestant churches are modeled on an extrovert example. It is refreshing and hopeful to read about what an integrated church could be like with both times of reflection and deep study, and times of fellowship and exhortation.I have found many challenges to my spiritual life within these pages. I am learning to have a reflective time with the Holy Spirit before bed to review my day, rather than my thoughts going round and round in circles. Examining my days for times of reflection and times of action, being sure that both are present, has helped me to be more effective.One chapter I wish had been included, would be on how to understand and work beside extrovert personalities.This has been an important read for me, one which I am sure I will refer back to many times and also pass along to others.