I Am a Tree

By Kaye Umansky and Kate Sheppard

Tim is an ace actor and keen member of the school drama club. So of course he expects to be the star of the end of year school play. But to his horror he finds he's been cast as a tree. And not just that - his only lines are in verse. Is there anything he can do to save his reputation? A brilliantly funny, hugely readable story, about how to make the most of a supporting role.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
• Release date: Dec 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781408153345

Kaye Umansky

Kaye Umansky was born in Plymouth in Devon, England. She went to Teacher's Training College, after which she taught in London primary schools for twelve years, specializing in music and drama. In her spare time, she sang and played keyboards with a semiprofessional soul band. She now writes full time and has written more than twenty-five books of fantasy, fiction, and poetry for children. She draws on traditional folktales and modern urban myths for her inspiration and has a sense of humor that is popular with children of all ages, from five to one hundred and five. She lives in London with her family. Among her most popular books are her hilarious Pongwiffy titles. Pongwiffy, Pongwiffy and the Goblins' Revenge, and Pongwiffy and the Spell of the Year, which won the Nottinghamshire Book Award, are available from Minstrel Books.

Book preview

KAYE UMANSKY

I Am a

Tree

illustrated by Kate Sheppard

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

The Cast

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

A Word From the Author

Imprint

Thank you, Perse Prep School —

this is for you.

The Cast

THE KIDS

Me — A tree

Flora Ferguson — A leaf

James Shawcross — Robin Hood

Charlotte Francis — Maid Marion

Wendy Wallace — Handmaiden 1

Shanti Kitimuru — Handmaiden 2

Fatima Lewis — Handmaiden 3

Little Thomas Kite — Little John

Ben Okobi — Will Scarlet

Rakesh Patel — Alan Adale

Sean Boyle — Friar Tuck

Dillon Gordon — Sheriff of Nottingham

Josh Mahoney — Prince John

Tariq Azziz — King Richard the Lionheart

Zoe McDonald — Peasant 1

Rachel Moss — Peasant 2

Karl Kaplinsky — Peasant 3

Jason Shaw — Peasant 4

THE TEACHERS

Mr Cunningham — head teacher and playwright

Mrs Axworthy — director

Miss Joy — music

Miss Steffani — dance and fighting

Mr Huff — backdrop and interval drinks

Old Mr Turnbull — keeper of order

TIM’S FAMILY

My mum

My dad

Kenny, my little brother

THE ANIMALS

Alf, our cat

Duke the rottweiler

Chapter One

I’m a tree! I thought, as I walked slowly home, feet dragging and heart in my boots. A tree! They’ve cast the school play and I’m a tree!

I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it. I always get a good part. I’m great at drama. I’m an ace actor.

A tree?

I had gone and tackled Mrs Axworthy, of course, right after the list went up. I thought there had been a mistake. Well, there had to be. Me? Timothy Brown? The shining light of the school drama club? A tree?

‘Excuse me, Mrs Axworthy,’ I said, almost tripping her up as she came bounding out of the staff room.

‘Yes, Tim?’ said Mrs Axworthy, looking at her watch, clearly in a hurry. ‘What is it?’

‘I’ve just seen the cast list for Robin Hood.’

‘Yes. And?’

‘I’m down as a tree.’

‘Yes. And?’

‘Well, I thought...’

‘Yes?’

‘I thought, maybe, you’d made a typing error.’

‘I don’t think so. I know how to spell tree.’

‘No, I mean...’ Oh well. Might as well say it. ‘I mean I auditioned for Robin. Failing that, the Sheriff of Nottingham. Or Friar Tuck.’

‘Yes. And?’

‘It says James Shawcross is Robin and Dillon’s the Sheriff. And Sean Boyle’s Friar Tuck.’

‘Yes. And?’

A little silence fell, while the shocking truth slowly sunk in.

‘So I didn’t get any of them.’

‘No. Look, I know you’re good, Tim. You know that. We all know that. But you can’t always have a starring role, you know.’ Mrs Axworthy was rummaging in her handbag for her car keys. ‘We have to give everyone a chance, don’t we? You were God in Noah’s Ark last year, after all.’

Yes, I was. And a jolly good God I’d been, too. I was in a sheet on a rostra block, towering over everybody, wagging my flowing beard, brandishing my lightning bolt and thundering like mad. I even had the megaphone we use for sport’s day, disguised as a small, fluffy cloud. Nobody got a look in when I was on stage.

‘And,’ went on Mrs Axworthy, ‘you were Hansel in Year Four. That’s two main parts two years running.’

‘So I’m a tree,’ I said.

‘Yes.’

It’s my last year in primary school. This would be my last ever school play. My final chance to shine. I must have looked a bit crestfallen, because she took pity on me.

‘It is a talking tree,’ she said. ‘You do have lines to say.’

‘I do?’

‘Yes.’

‘How many?’

‘Goodness, I don’t know. I haven’t got the script with me now. I haven’t even finished marking up the parts. Do you really want to know?’

Yes. I did. I had a thousand questions. How big a role was it? Was I on stage much? Was I evergreen, or the sort that moults? Was I a good tree? A bad tree? A funny tree? A funny tree would be good. I can do comedy. Although I’m all right with the tragic stuff, too. You should have seen my Hansel, when I was lost in the wood with Gretel (Wendy Wallace). I made grown men weep. Well, that’s what Dad said.

Hey! Perhaps I was a wise tree! Rugged, ancient, full of sage advice learned over the years. Anyway, I needed to know.

‘I just wanted to know