Is It I, Rabbi?

By Michael Neal Morris

This slim volume of meditations invites readers to act prayerfully, and to consider the deeper places where scripture intersects with their everyday lives. The book contains personal and painfully honest reflections, not only on our foibles, but on the God who lifts us up.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michael Neal Morris
• Release date: Jan 22, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370492954

Michael Neal Morris

Michael Neal Morris is the author of Based on Imaginary Events, Release, Haiku, Etc., Music for Arguments, In Domestic News and other books. He has published a number of stories, poems, and essays both online and in print. He teaches Composition and Creative Writing at Eastfield College in Mesquite. He lives with his wife, children, and two snarky cats just outside the Dallas area.

Book preview

These reflections are offered for the edification of the reader, whether they be a believer, skeptic, or somewhere in between. I do not present them as arguments, though some may appear to be so, but as observations from one carnal Christian who pauses from time to time on his journey to write does what he sees and hears. If, after a period of reading, the words do not find a way to bear fruit in you, set it aside for a time, and pick it up when you see your field has changed.

I ask that you read the book, as much as you can, prayerfully. I will not define for you what that means, but I believe that prayer will benefit you more than any words that can be written.

The scriptures referenced in this book come from The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. I do not think this fact matters much, but some people like to know such things. It is the translation I was reading when these meditations were composed.

I would also like to thank the many beta readers for this manuscript and spiritual teachers who have guided this little book by being present for me when God brought them into my life. To my family, especially Tonya, I cannot express enough thanks for standing with me.

May the Peace and Joy of God fill and follow you always.

Michael

Meditations on Holy Scripture

Meditation I: Hunger

So you, by the help of your God, return,

hold fast to love and justice,

and wait continually for your God.

After railing against the unfaithful Israelites -- and by extension all of us who have been unfaithful to God, we are told this. God lets them off easy, and also puts tough burdens on them (us). These are not so much rules and impossible formulas to salvation or righteousness. Hold fast, God says. That is all. Cling like the dependent children we are. But can we allow ourselves such child-like holding?

And to what are we to hold fast to? Love and justice. Oh how easy and how hard! God is love and God is just, we may well believe (though that faith waxes and wanes). Can we trust His love? Can we wait for His justice? We are commanded wait continually for your God.

and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

We are not to live for ourselves, but for Him who died for all. But my self is all I can control, all I can trust to appreciate my sacrifices. Who said anything about being appreciated? We do not need appreciation or acknowledgement or anything but the Love of God, which has already been and is continually given to us.

Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life.

Oh how I worry, Lord! About my car, my house, my family. About food (despite my gross obesity!). And labor is not only for the money to buy the food and to keep safe and well. Work itself is good for my soul and mind and body.

But all these things pass away. They die.

How many hungers I have, O Lord! How I wish for them to die, satiated by your living bread!

How hard it is to work for what we cannot see, for what we know -- even with faith as tiny as mine -- what is the better part. Often, we cannot tell the difference between hunger and craving. And I wonder why I try to put myself in charge of such knowledge. Even at this age, I need a Father who can guide me to understand the difference, and teach me in a place deeper than my mind and stronger than my body.

Meditation II – Wisdom

Be not wise in your own eyes;

fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh

and refreshment to your bones.

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom,

and the one who gets understanding,

for the gain from her is better than gain from silver

and her profit better than gold.

I haven't silver or gold or wisdom; thus, I am poor indeed. Circumstances befall me, hurts beyond my control. But where am I likely to turn to solve such painful puzzles (which fall on the good and the bad)? To God, who authors the universe and brings peace to the confused? No. Most often, I trust my own feeble and failing brain, my own devices and schemes.

But where is wisdom, and must it always kick me when I'm down? Does it hurt so much because I am stubborn or because there are plenty to play the part of Job's friends, ready to tell me what I should have done after the fact?

I am not righteous, though I desire righteousness. I am not holy, though pursing holiness is my only true peace. I am not wise. I am not wise.

We are stupid and foolish without You, O Lord. Help us to turn away from evil. Help us to recognize it and turn away. Heal us completely: flesh, bones, mind, and heart.

Behold, you delight in truth in the inmost being,

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

How can I, born and living in iniquity, be taught wisdom in my heart, where so much darkness lives? Lord, we are always dark until Your Light shines in us. I must open myself for God's light, allow it to burn the dark gunk, the dross away, and trust my Teacher. I cannot rely on merely saying true words, but allow the transformation of my being.

He shall come to the place in the heart that no one knows. I do not even know this heart. But Christ knows it. It is the place where my true being