Stumped

By Kate Larkindale

Seventeen-year-old Ozzy has a super-hot girlfriend who’s ready to take their relationship to the next level. Tonight. At the lake.
But a missing condom scuttles his plans for seduction. Furious, Ozzy takes his girlfriend home and drives off—into the path of an oncoming truck. He wakes up with both legs amputated above the knees.
When his girlfriend runs out gagging after one look at him, Ozzy knows he’s a hideous freak. He’s convinced he’s blown any chance of having a real relationship with a girl.
Determined to prove he can still be a man despite his disability, Ozzy throws himself into dumping his virginity, but finds there’s a limited number of people willing to touch legless dudes in wheelchairs. His obsession takes him into an underworld of brothels and escort services where he discovers the difference between sex and intimacy, and that sometimes the price is much higher than a sex worker’s fee.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Evernight Teen
• Release date: Dec 15, 2017
• ISBN: 9781773395036

Kate Larkindale

Having spent a lifetime travelling the globe, Kate Larkindale is currently residing in Wellington, New Zealand. A cinema manager, film reviewer and mother, she’s surprised she finds any time to write, but doesn’t sleep much. As a result, she can usually be found near the espresso machine with a long black in hand. Her short stories have appeared in Halfway Down The Stairs, A Fly in Amber, Daily Flash Anthology, The Barrier Islands Review, Everyday Fiction, Death Rattle, Drastic Measures, Cutlass & Musket and Residential Aliens, among others. She has written eight contemporary YA novels, four of which other people are allowed to see. She has also written one very bad historical romance. She is currently working on a new YA novel that is still looking for a title other than its Twitter hashtag, #juvvielesbian.

Book preview

Chapter One

The sunlight bouncing off the water is blinding. To keep from being dazzled, I stare down at my toes. Three dark hairs coil across the big toe on my left foot. Only one hair adorns the right. I puzzle over this while the other swimmers line up. Will Lainey think I’m a freak for having mismatched toe hair? Do girls notice that kind of shit?

Coach clears his throat and I curl my toes around the edge of the starting block. I pull down my goggles and the pool building takes on a cool, blue cast. I push Lainey from my mind. It’s not easy. My girlfriend is not forgettable. But now isn’t the time to obsess over her curves.

Settling my weight onto the balls of my feet, I drop into a crouch. I’m ready. I keep my head up and focus on the other end of the pool.

Go! Coach’s voice splinters the air and I push myself from the platform.

My dive’s good. Long and shallow. I use its momentum to launch myself into the first stroke. My arms rise up, pulling my chest and shoulders out of the water before my kick pushes them down. Each stroke devours a chunk of the pool and brings the wall closer to me.

Before I head into the tumble turn that marks fifty meters, I glance to my left. No one. I glance right and find Jeremy Taylor right behind me. Fuck that. No way is he going to beat me today. I smashed his time last week and he’s been threatening to top it ever since. I’d like to see him try. Just because he’s the team captain doesn’t mean he’s the fastest.

Throwing myself at the wall, I roll and head back. Knowing Jeremy is at my tail spurs me on. Even though my shoulders ache and my chest burns, I push harder. Not this time, Jeremy. I slam the water with my feet. Not this time. I find a last scrap of strength as the wall comes into view. I hurl myself forward once more. My fingers scrape slick tile and I grab hold of the pool’s edge.

Ozzy. Coach shouts my name and scribbles my time down on the clipboard he’s never without. Jeremy. Steve. Callum. Joe. Mark. Seth.

I raise my goggles. My heart pounds heavily in my chest. That has to have been a good one. I don’t usually feel this wrecked. I can hardly breathe.

Coach crouches above me. Great swim, Ozzy. 59.43. A new school record. Probably even a new regional record. I’ll have to look it up.

Thanks, Coach. I can’t keep the grin from my face. I knew I swam well, but 59.43 is insane. The world record is a little over forty-nine seconds. I’m only ten seconds off a world record time. That’s kind of a mind-fuck.

Congratulations. Jeremy leans over the lane rope and sticks out his hand. You were on fire out there today. You in a hurry?

I slap my palm against his. Maybe, I say. I have a date with Lainey tonight. A date I haven’t stopped thinking about since we made it on Wednesday. And talking of hurrying, I’m going to hit the showers before all you losers drain the hot water.

Who are you calling a loser? Jeremy grins and pulls himself from the pool. He’s halfway to the locker room before I manage to haul myself onto the edge. So are the rest of the team. Guess I’ll shower at home.

With my clothes pulled over still-damp skin, I leave the locker room. After the steam and noise inside, the hallway feels eerily silent.

My phone buzzes in my pocket.

I pull it out. I have a bunch of messages.

I scroll through them. Caleb wants to borrow my car.

In yr dreams. I text back.

Mom wants me to pick up some groceries on my way home.

No problem.

Han wants to know if I’ll be going to Jenna’s party tonight.

Prob not. Taking L to lake.

That one gets an immediate reply, an emoji with raised eyebrows followed by a string of exclamation marks. I laugh. Pushing off the wall, I jam the phone back into my pocket.

Music spills from the auditorium on the far side of the foyer separating the arts center from the gym. The door is ajar, so I slip through it and stand in the shadows at the back of the hall. On stage, Lainey drills her dance team. Her shorts are so short tiny crescents of butt cheek flash me every time she turns around. Above them a t-shirt is knotted under her breasts. The stone in her belly-button-ring flashes under the stage lights. That thing is crazy sexy…

Ozzy! Lainey catches sight of me and jumps from the stage. Her dark ponytail trails behind her.

Hi. I step out of the dim corner and meet her at the top of the aisle.

Hi, yourself. Lainey rises onto her toes and presses her lips to mine. I taste the familiar flavor of her strawberry lip-gloss.

Sorry, she says when we finally pull apart. I’m all sweaty and gross.

Sweaty, maybe. Gross, definitely not. I reach for her again. Her skin is hot and damp from dancing, but even so, she smells amazing. Like cinnamon and some kind of flower. Even sweat can’t mask it. You almost done? I can give you a ride home.

She looks over her shoulder at the stage where the rest of the team mill about. A few of them practice steps, but most of them talk or peer at their phones. We’re going to be at least another hour, she says reluctantly. You probably don’t want to hang around that long.

I want to, I say. What guy wouldn’t want to stay here and watch his gorgeous, talented girlfriend shake her ass all over the place? But I can’t. I promised Mom I’d pick up Meg. She had a sleep-over last night.

That’s okay. Lainey smiles and pecks my cheek. I’ll see you tonight, right?

Definitely. I reach out and trace a line across her bare stomach with my fingertip.

She shivers, taking a step away. You’re making me crazy already.

Pick you up at seven-thirty? I close the space between us and kiss her again.

Perfect, she agrees. Her lips linger on mine.

As I turn to go, I’m sure I feel her hand on my ass. But when I turn to check, she’s halfway down the aisle, already calling out instructions to the girls on stage.

I’m still grinning when I step out of the building into the warm sunshine. It’s hard to believe it’s fall already. The sun’s so hot it feels like June, not October. Not that I’m complaining. The weather is cooperating with my plans for tonight.

Yo, Ozzy. Jeremy jogs up behind me. Glad I caught you. Can I get a ride home? My brother’s swiped the car again.

Sure. I nod. But I gotta pick my sister up on the way.

No problem. Anything’s better than waiting for the bus.

I laugh. Buses on a Saturday suck. He’d probably still be waiting when Lainey and her crew finish up.

That was one mad swim today, Jeremy says as I unlock the car. Can’t believe you beat my 60.02.

Me neither. I reach in and throw all the junk piled on the passenger seat into the back. Meg’ll just have to deal with it when she gets in. I’ve been busting my ass to get close to sixty for a month. I got lucky today.

Jeremy swings himself into the car. Bet you beat that time next practice. I’ve been watching you. You’re good. And you work hard. Unlike most of the other fucktards on the team who think they can party on a Friday night and still swim on Saturday morning.

Thanks… I never know what to say when someone compliments me. Especially when it’s not true. I bet he wouldn’t be so thrilled with me if he knew what Caleb and I were smoking last night.

So, where am I taking you? I start the engine. Home?

Yeah. You remember where to go?

I nod. It’s not the first time Jeremy’s brother has taken off with Jeremy’s car while he’s at practice. Over on Lorne, right?

Jeremy nods.

Well, I gotta pick up Meg first. But it’s not far out of the way.

I’m in no hurry. Jeremy settles back in the seat.

Chapter Two

I splash on too much of my brother’s aftershave and it’s like stepping into a rental car. Shit. I reek of whatever this stuff is supposed to smell like. Pine trees, maybe? I never smelled a pine tree that stank like this. No wonder Finn left it behind when he went to college. It does mask the scent of chlorine still clinging to me after practice, but … I rub my palm across my face and sniff it. Nope. I can’t go meet Lainey smelling like this. She won’t be able to get anywhere near me. Not without choking. God, this stuff’s awful. I glance down at my watch. It’s after six, but I guess I have time for another shower. I have to have time.

I shuck the towel from around my waist and turn the shower back on. The bathroom’s filled with steam from the one I took ten minutes ago. At least the water’s still hot. I climb in and let the liquid sluice over me. I don’t know if that’s enough to get rid of the awful aftershave, so I grab the soap and scrub my face and neck until they feel raw. That’ll have to do. For good measure, I soap the rest of me again too. Look at me, Mr. Clean. I lean back against the wall and daydream about Lainey. Those shorts she was wearing this morning should be illegal.

Shit. I look down and find my hand on my dick. Oh, well. Finn told me once it’s a good idea to jerk off before a big date. Takes the edge off. Keeps you from blowing your wad too soon, or something. That’s definitely not something to risk happening tonight.

When I get out, there’s someone pounding on the door.

Ozzy! Meg’s voice, high-pitched and whining. You’ve been in there for hours. Other people need to use the bathroom too.

Just a sec. I wipe a patch of mirror clear and inspect my face. Another shave? I inspect my chin. Who am I kidding? I didn’t need the one I gave myself before. Once every two weeks is probably too often.

Ozzy… My sister thumps hard enough this time to make the door rattle in its frame.

I throw it open, letting a cloud of steam out into the hallway as I stare down at her, trying to look imposing. I have five years on her, so it’s not hard. Yes?

She rolls her eyes. At eleven, she shouldn’t have a teenager attitude yet. But with Finn and me ahead of her, she’s had good teachers. About time. The door slams behind her.

I carry on down the hall to my room. 6:22 the clock by my bed flashes. Cool. I still have time. I drop the towel and kick it in the direction of my laundry hamper. Miss. Who cares? I leave it lying on the floor and step into a clean pair of boxers. Now, which jeans? Lainey said the black ones make my butt look great, but they’re so new the buttons are stiff. I reach for my faded old blue ones. They’re a little baggy, but I can slip out of them at a moment’s notice. And for tonight, that’s important. Ease of access.

Once I’ve thrown on a shirt and sneakers, I sit down to go over the plan one last time. It’s got to be perfect. Tonight’s the night. Lainey and I have been together almost five months, since spring break. We’ve done a crap-ton of kissing and over-the-shirt stuff. We’ve even done a bit of under-the-shirt. Then a couple of weeks back, she let me into her pants—just fingers—but it was awesome. If tonight goes the way I want it to, the next time I’m in this room, I won’t be a virgin anymore.

I give myself a last once over in the mirror before heading downstairs. Running my fingers through my hair, I tick things off my list.

Car? Clean. I even cleared all the trash off the backseat.

Dinner? Packed and ready in the picnic basket Mom had in the back of the coat cupboard. It’s wicker or something. Skinny twigs woven together and lined in red and white checked cloth. It looks fruity, but Lainey’ll go ga-ga over it.

Champagne? Check. Mom’ll go ballistic when she opens the bar fridge and finds it gone, but I’ll play innocent. Finn was down last weekend. Mom doesn’t drink during the week, so chances are she hasn’t looked in there since he left. Given Finn’s history, he’s the logical suspect.

So, all I need now is a blanket for us to sit—lie?—on. It hasn’t rained in a few days, so the grass won’t be wet, but girls get freaked out by things like ants or bees. No way am I going to miss out on getting laid because of some fucking bug.

Mom keeps extra bed linen in the basement. I flick the light on and follow the low drone of the dryer to the laundry room. It always smells weird down here. Like detergent and scorched air, but with something dark and bitter underneath. My nose wrinkles and I try to breathe through my mouth while pawing through the piles of dusty old blankets in the cupboard behind the hot-water cylinder. I don’t want a scratchy, itchy one. That’d be as bad as the buggy grass. My fingers brush across one that feels softer than the rest. That’s the one. I pull it out, almost toppling the rest of the stack onto the floor. I slam the door shut before they can fall and run back upstairs with the fine, light blanket in my hands.

It’s white. Fluffy. Soft. I’ve never seen it before, so I hope Mom won’t miss it. I don’t imagine it’ll be so white after me and Lainey… Cut it out. I focus my mind on something else. Something that doesn’t turn me on. My swim coach yelling. Seth Jones lighting his farts behind the elementary school last week. Gross. Okay. That’ll do it. There’s nothing more repulsive than the smell of burning ass hair on a fat guy. A fat guy with zits on his big hairy butt.

I run the blanket across my hands, liking how silky it feels. Lainey’s going to love this. It’s the last step in my perfect plan. Girls are suckers for romance, and I have that in spades tonight. I look at my watch again. It’s a little early, but not ridiculous. Lainey’s mom likes it if I get there before Lainey’s ready. She gets to interrogate me, and I get to reassure her that her daughter’s perfectly safe with me.

I’m such a liar.

In the hallway, I pause to check myself out in the mirror one last time.

You’re gorgeous. Mom blows past and rubs her hand across my hair. Big date tonight?

I turn away from the mirror, but not before my cheeks redden. Nah. Just hanging out with Lainey.

Just hanging out, huh? Mom cocks one eyebrow in my direction. I wish I could do that. It looks so cool.

I shrug. Yeah. A picnic. It’s such a nice night.

Okay. Drive safely and make sure you’re home by midnight. At the latest.

Yes, Mom. I have to fight not to roll my eyes the way Meg does. Don’t parents realize they say the same things over and over? They should just make a recording, and every time they need to drop one of their little gems, they could press a button and save some breath. Although in Mom’s case, she’d need a ton of tape.

Did you manage to fix the router? Mom changes the subject so suddenly, for a moment I’m lost.

Uh… Yeah. I did. Wasn’t anything major. You’re wireless again.

Thanks. I’m lucky to have such a tech-savvy son. Have fun. She stands on tiptoe to kiss my cheek. I’m that much taller than her now. I feel kind of proud about it when I walk out the door.

The Subaru starts with the first pop, something I take as being a good omen. Calling this vehicle a piece of crap would be generous. But at least I have a piece of crap. Thanks, Finn. He did me a solid with that third DUI. I pull away from the curb, belching thick, toxic exhaust. I need to do something about that. Meg kicks up a fuss every time she has to ride with me because she thinks I’m causing global warming or the greenhouse effect or something. Like it’s my fault. Sure, I’m probably contributing to it, but that crap was set in motion way before I was born. In fact…

My phone rings. I’m sitting at the lights on Davenport Drive, so I pull the phone out of my pocket and glance at the caller ID. Caleb.

C-Man! The lights change so I jam the phone between my shoulder and ear and drive on. What’s up, dude?

You wanna hang out tonight? Han scored some good pot.

I almost swerve into a power pole. Doesn’t he know they listen in on cellphone calls? You never talk about drugs or anything illegal on a cell. No way. I’m on my way to pick up Lainey. We have a big night planned.

Caleb doesn’t say anything, just makes an animal sound that’s kind of a cross between a growl and a roar.

Yeah. That’s right. I laugh and hang up. Maybe I’ll call him later, to see how stoned he is. And to gloat a little about being the first in our group to make it all the way with a girl.

Chapter Three

I pull up outside Laney’s house a little after 7:15. The sun’s low in the sky, but hasn’t started setting yet. Good. I’m kind of counting on the sunset to set the mood once we get to the lake. I shake my head a couple of times to get my hair sitting right. It’s getting long enough to rock that mussed-up, just-out-of-bed look. When I step out of the car, I catch sight of Lainey peeking out her bedroom window and wave. She returns the gesture then ducks behind the curtain.

I go around the back of the house. Lainey’s parents never use the front door. They live in the kitchen. And I don’t blame them. It’s huge, bigger than our living room at home. I pop my head through the door and find Lainey’s mom.

Well, there you are, stranger. She’s putting away groceries, but sets down the cans she’s holding to give me a billowy hug. I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.

She says that every time. Even if I saw her yesterday. I grab the cans and stack them in the pantry, labels out, the way she likes them. I’ve been busy. School and practice and stuff.

Oh, I know. If Lainey didn’t live here, I’d never see her. She laughs. And how’s the swimming?

Good. I beat the school record at practice today. For the one hundred meter fly. And I’m sure I can go faster.

That’s great, Ozzy! She smiles so broadly I think her face might split. How exciting! We might watch you at the next Olympics.

I shrug. Talking about that stuff makes me squirm. Like saying it out loud will jinx any chance I might have. That’d be cool, but I have a long way to go before it happens.

You keep doing your best, and you’ll be amazed at how far it’ll take you. She gives a sage nod and drops into her seat. Her throne, Lainey calls it. She rules her kingdom from there, happy and Buddha-like in her brightly colored mumus, dyed orange hair in a frizz around her skull. Sometimes I wonder how she and Lainey can be related.

Lainey wanders into the kitchen while I’m finding space for what looks like ten gallons of milk in the refrigerator. I glance up, see her, and my breath catches in my chest. She does that to me. She’s wearing a skirt tonight, if you could call it that. It’s so short it barely covers her ass. Her legs look miles long underneath it, even without heels. Her hair is loose and wavy, rippling down her back. I want to plunge my face into it, knowing how soft it will be, how it will smell of green apples.

Ready? I lean in to kiss her. Just a quickie. No tongue. Not in front of her mom.

Sure. She smiles and my heart speeds up. This girl… There aren’t words to explain what she does to me.

So, where are you two off to this evening? Lainey’s mom’s gaze flicks between us, her face softening into a smile that’s so much like her daughter’s, it makes my chest ache.

No idea. Lainey laughs. Ozzy won’t tell me. He says it’s a surprise.

It is. I pull out my cell and check the time. And we need to hoof it. Nice seeing you, Mrs. King.

Always a pleasure, Ozzy. And remember to have her home by midnight.

Or I’ll turn into a pumpkin, right? Lainey grabs my hand and drags me toward the door.

You don’t want to try me, young lady… Mrs. King’s still smiling as we slide into the outdoors.

Once we get to the car, out of sight of the kitchen, I pull Lainey to me and really kiss her. She tastes amazing. Like cinnamon gum and toothpaste and something that’s purely her, something sweet and totally addictive. I could kiss her all day. I find my favorite spot on her, those curves above her hips, and place my hands there, pulling her closer to me. Jerking off in the shower didn’t do a lot for me. I have to get this girl to the lake. And fast.

But… What if she’s not into it? She’s acting that way, but what if she doesn’t want to go any further than last time? For the first time I have doubts about the plan. Or what if she does want to, and I blow it too early? Or I can’t get my fly undone in time? Or there are already a ton of people at the lake? I don’t want this to be a peep-show. I haven’t taken any of those things into account.

I pull away, but she grabs me and draws me back, grinding her hips against mine. She wants it. I’m sure now. I’m going to lose my shit if she doesn’t quit it. Right here, leaning against the car on the street outside her house. I tease her lips with my tongue and ease out of her grip. C’mon, I manage. Let’s go.

We talk on the way to the lake. About school and swimming and her dance team’s recital at the end of next week. I don’t know what we say. My mouth moves, but I’m not sure what comes out of it. All I can hear is my heart pounding in my chest, throbbing in time with the blood pulsing through me. Girls always say guys can only think with their dicks. I’m not certain that’s always true, but right now, if there’s a brain in my head, it’s taking a coffee break. A long one.

We drive through the ass-end of town. Past the low concrete buildings and scuzzy bars with neon signs missing letters. It’s early yet, but there are already a few women leaning against the wall under a sign advertising beer. There have always been hookers in this part of town, but since they legalized prostitution a couple of years back, the numbers have swelled. The neon flashes red and blue, making their overly made-up faces look grotesque. One of them blows a kiss in the direction of my car.

She must be desperate for work. Lainey glares through the window. Can’t she see you’ve got company already?

You’d have to be desperate to bang that. I shake my head. She’s got to be older than my mother. It’s hard to tell under all the make-up.

Lainey looks back over her shoulder at the small knot of whores. Who d’you think goes to them? I mean, they wouldn’t be there every night if no one ever bought.

Who knows. Anyone who needs to pay for sex is a pretty sorry bastard in my book. Why would you?

Lainey leans back. I guess if you’re really ugly or something? Or maybe if you’re not interested in a relationship, and just want sex?

I laugh. There’s something totally bizarre about talking about prostitutes at this point in time. I bet it’s mostly guys cheating on their wives.

But why would they need to? Lainey’s genuinely interested in the subject. She stares out the window with the little crinkle in her brow she gets when she’s studying.

Maybe they don’t get what they need at home?

Maybe… She falls silent, but it’s a few miles before her brow smoothes out again.

It seems to take forever to get to the turn-off. I slow down to navigate the steep road winding up the hill. The sky begins to pale, to take on a tinge of gold. Perfect. Lainey stares out her window, watching the trees and bushes lash at the car as we pass. I sneak a peek at her profile. Her nose is small and straight, and her lips are so full I want to pull over right now to kiss them again. A jolt of excitement leaps through me. It won’t be long. I’ll kiss those lips and then some. I can already taste the sweetness of her strawberry lip-gloss.

The road crests the hill and there’s the lake. As I’d hoped, my timing is perfect. The first fingers of color streak the sky. A gentle breeze brushes the surface of the lake so the reflection ripples and fractures into thousands of pastel-colored shards. I park in the near-empty lot and jump out, grabbing the blanket and picnic basket from the backseat.

The lake? Lainey climbs out and leans against the car. Stupid move. The road we’ve just come up isn’t paved. Sure enough, when she moves away, the back of her shirt and skirt have picked up a fine layer of dust.

Here. I swing the basket onto my other