The Gray: A Relationship Etiquette Study

By Enitan Bereola II and Jidenna Mobisson

A comfortable place to have an uncomfortable conversation...

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 20, 2017
• ISBN: 9780692966037

Book preview

Gray, The

A Relationship Etiquette Study

Inspired by,

Us

Composed by,

Enitan O. Bereola, II

Co-written by,

You

The Bereolaesque Group, LLC

1401 Riverplace Blvd.

Jacksonville, FL 32207

Bereolaesque.com

Copyright © 2017 by The Bereolaesque Group, LLC: Second Edition, 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information stored in a retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotes in a review.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

has been applied for.

Enitan O. Bereola II

The Gray: A Relationship Etiquette Study

Edited by: Charlina Allen Pruitt

Published by: The Bereolaesque Group, LLC

ISBN: 978-0692809174 (Print)

ISBN-13: 978-0692-966037 (eBook)

Printed in the United States of America

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate Internet addresses and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for third-party websites and their content. This book is not intended as a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice. The methods described within this book are the author’s personal thoughts. Any use of this information is at your own risk.

Let’s talk.

Meet me halfway.

ALSO BY ENITAN O. BEREOLA II:

Award-Winning & Best-Selling Books

GENTLEWOMAN: Etiquette for a Lady, from a Gentleman

BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette Book for the Urban Sophisticate

CLICK TO CONNCET:

@BEREOLAESQUE

@BEREOLAESQUE

@BEREOLAESQUE

PRAISE

In lieu of praise for the book, the praise goes to God

BOOK COVER CREDITS

Cover Design: Justin Huff

New York, NY exhibitgray.com

Cover Concept: Enitan Bereola II

Back Cover Photographer: Letisha V. Bereola

Front Cover Model: Her

Back Cover Model: Him

PHOTOGRAPHY INSERT CREDITS

Photography: Christopher Parsons

Los Angeles, CA parsons.la

Photography Insert Model 1: Letisha Bereola

Photography Insert Model 2: Enitan Bereola

CONTRIBUTOR CREDITS

Jidenna

Estelle

Anonymous 1

Anonymous 2

Anonymous 3

Anonymous 4

Anonymous 5

Anonymous 6

Anonymous 7

Anonymous 8

CREDITS OF INSPIRATION

I, he, she, it, we, you and they

thegraytour.com

Everything is not resolved

GRAY.

| grā |

ADJECTIVE

COLORLESS

CONFUSING

DEATHLY

DISORDERLY

DOUBTFUL

DREARY

MONOTONOUS

SOMBER

UNCLEAR

WISE

Torn pages from this book belong in galleries, behind glass, protected by red ropes.

To

Goddess Letisha V. Bereola,

You are somewhere within every book I have written.

Ten-hour conversations with my best friend

Led to a lifetime of love so uncontrollable,

It spilled over generations to create new life.

When I met you, I met God.

When we met our son, we met His merciful soldier.

Together, we escaped the gray…

To

Sir Miles Berkeley Bereola,

May you, your mother and I grow gray, be joyous and live wealthy forevermore…

To

You,

Forgive me for trespassing, but we have an agreement: you lend me your gray matter and I will be responsible with the message delivered. For allowing me into your mind, I thank you. It is there I collect my stories – by watching you, I am granted access to the words you do not say. I invade your thoughts and emotions not to cause disorder, but to cure disease. I force my size elevens into your soles. It helps me see you. It provides me empathy and allows me to understand humanity. Society scans and scrutinizes its children, but it seldom sees them. My job as a writer is to see you and get you to see what I see. My method is by making you uncomfortable – change hardly comes from comfort.

This book is an ode to my father:

Life is about relationship.

—

Be Careful When Judging a Book by its Cover

Do not adjust your screens.

The finest trick I ever pulled is convincing the world I do not exist. I am everywhere. Though you cannot see me, you will feel me. I am a heavy burden of nothing – the author of confusion and manufacturer of assumptions. It might not be OK! Do not attempt to sleep me away. You cannot weep me away. You cannot think me away. You cannot drink me away. You cannot hope me away. You cannot smoke me away. If you are aloof, you will deny me and I will not depart from you. If you are curious, you will read me. You will discover me. You will acknowledge me. You will find the only way to get through me is to get to me.

I have been waiting for you…

-The gray area

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE

You are now entering the gray area. The content of this book is exclusively intended for the entity of whom it is addressed. You were deliberately considered when constructing its invaluable scribing. This subject matter contains privileged material to be used for healing mankind. Any unauthorized use is prohibited beyond this point. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified to read along anyway. You are held with the responsibility of transforming literature into lifestyle, impacting relationships one gentlewoman and gentleman at a time. For this is not just a product—this is your protection.

—

CONTENTS

Manifesto by: Jidenna

Foreword: Exhibit Gray

Prelude: Walls

I. Introduction: Theory

II. End of August: Alternate Thursday

III. September: Rain

IV. October: Massacre

Interlude:

Evacuation Plan — Going Gray

V. November: Noir

VI. Nineteenth of December: Buyer’s Remorse

VII. January: Residue

VIII. February: Flu

Intermission

052613 — Darkness and Light

Interlude:

Scriptures — Dear Diary…

IX. March: Pareidolia

X. April: Pivot

XI. May: Mourning

XII. December in June: Summer of Sex

Interlude:

Muted— Screaming with the Window Up

XIII. July: Drafts

XIV. Onset of August: Atonement

XV. Revelation: Way, Truth, Life

XVI. Epilogue: Estelle

Adieu:

Acknowledgments

JIDENNA

Manifesto: By Jidenna

Where did we go wrong?

Class ain’t just a glass of champagne. It is more about taste and discretion.

The Classic Man is a distinguished gentleman. He keeps his gloves dirty, but his hands clean. He is absolutely certain that less is more, that actions speak louder than words and that quality is better than quantity. He avoids making excuses and accepts both praise and criticism with the same cool. A Classic Man is observant, so he is naturally concerned with the details of his appearance and the presentation of his reputation. Thus, he is sharp in mind, body and style.

The Classic Man is the man that steps up to care for that which is not his own. He is the street elegant old-fashioned man, the urban sophisticate. He is a man that every man wants to be and every woman wants to be with. To both his lovers and his enemies, his charm is a necessary evil. Under fire, the Classic Man remains cool as Nat King Cole. He sons immature men without them knowing they’ve just been sonned. He can pull the wool or be a bull while being polite. A Classic Man never rants in public; he delivers speeches with passion and conviction.

The Classic Man holds women in the highest of regard and will lay down his life to protect them. He believes that great women are the backbone of a successful nation. While others struggle to admit it, he believes that women are generally wiser and more loyal than men. Regardless of sexual orientation, boys and young men struggle with maintaining valuable, platonic relationships with women. Many do not have the male role models or father figures that teach exactly how to relate with the opposite sex, let alone a potential mate. Classic Men are usually found in the company of brilliant, successful women.

While other men cannot control their hormones in the presence of beauty, the Classic Man can stare into your eyes and hold an enlightening conversation without making a pass. He feels no need to hunt on the prowl; his patience and wit capture your heart and mind. He takes his mates on adventures, not dates. He knows that texting is not courting and courtship is not a means to an end. Well, on second thought, it is … but the key to wooing is to focus on the present moment. It is extremely challenging to civilize one’s primal desire especially after a few drinks. The more you hold out, however, the more you will be desired and ultimately rewarded. Once you invite him in and ask him to check his coat at the door, he understands that he can finally check some of his manners as well. To quote Enitan Bereola, Etiquette has no place in the bedroom. It is usually at this point that you realize that the Classic Man is still a man and that Man is still an animal.

-Jidenna,

Classic Man

Grammy nominated / award-winning recording artist, record producer, actor and Master of Ceremony

FOREWORD

Elephants are pink in small rooms.

PRELUDE

Prelude // Walls

He needed a ghostwriter.

So much to say, but it was chaotic in his head.

She needed a ghostwriter.

Her legs spread and then nothing was said.

He needed a ghostwriter.

He spoke with passion, but didn’t know where the periods went.

She needed a ghostwriter.

She didn’t know how to tell him where her period went.

He needed a ghostwriter.

There was not enough time to tell it all.

She needed a ghostwriter…

Except she didn’t want to tell at all.

Do you need a ghostwriter?

A voice of reason to reveal your story?

I’ll be your ghostwriter.

I’ll take the burden.

You get the glory.

begin…

Have a seat.

Get comfortable.

This is an honest, overdue conversation between strangers. I promise to be open and I ask that you do the same. No judgment. You will not be shamed. This is your safe space. Look around. It is just you and I here.

Allow me to be the first to admit guilt. In an effort to rebuild you, I destroyed us. My first two books proved a few things. They are critically acclaimed and award-winning bestsellers owned by elites from Oprah Winfrey to The Obamas. They were written to dig holes in mental mountains causing walls of mis-education to crumble. The books became so self-empowering that it made independence trendy. Cool. But the problem is some readers became soaked with self-absorption.

Drenched.

In an age of self-reliance, we think it is weak to acknowledge our neediness. The response to my work proved our desire to love ourselves, but failed to prove the need for us to love each other.

You have since rebuilt more improved and elaborate walls to protect your newfound light resulting in a darker society. For now you are doing fine in your sheltered bubble, but bubbles burst. Hail will rain on your parade and your glow will fade. Relationships will suffer. I made you lemonade without teaching you how to squeeze the lemons to make your own jug. I fed you fish, but failed to teach you how to fish. I have been entrusted with impregnating you with a seed of hope to birth a revolution, and like post-pregnancy breasts, I left you hanging – beautiful, but hanging.

So I wrote you this book that I need to read – we need to read.

The Gray is a sobering study of real relationships and where the hell we went wrong.

Humanity is not connecting as

Reviews for The Gray

[Jase Lindsey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

As a young man Finding his way in life.. I too have experienced Gray areas. Mr. Bereola carefully and skillful comes into your heart and mind and let's you know everything is going to be alright. one can't read this book and be the same person they were when they opened it. There is Healing power Here.