Found In You

By Patricia Kennedy

His piercing emeralds enrapture me. His beautifully sculpted lips take my breath away. And his love for me seizes me entirely. But the depth of his inner strength is something I worry about when he looks at me. I know my past can never be erased but the fact that it is now going to be part of our future is a daunting reality since it's now ever constant thanks to Anthony who refuses to leave us alone.
And so when our future looked so bright and full of technicolor it seemed as if we'd finally overcome the hell of my horrid flashbacks and the obvious reminder of what my past instilled in me that when my world disintegrated beneath my feet it felt as if I was drowning in the never ending abyss of hell. This made me wonder if I had the strength in me to survive and make it through in one piece and not only for my sake but Alek's too. And given my past I seriously doubted it. But now our future depends on it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Patricia Kennedy
• Release date: Jul 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370872671

Patricia Kennedy

Author Patricia Kennedy showcases vintage postcards and images from her personal collection, along with photographs from the San Francisco Archives. She has added to her collection extensively while traveling as a pianist aboard the American Orient Express.

Book preview

Chapter One

I am irrevocably, insanely without a doubt in love with her, god do I ever. I have no idea how I went through life before without this feeling. I guess I was just mechanical, emotionless.

I’m pretty positive I’ve been in love with her since the second she walked into that restaurant in Atlanta. Even though she was in total black, she was sexy as hell. She exuded success, not as in arrogance but just absolute confidence. I was so drawn to her that I had to meet her and once I did, the need to have her was over powering. The urge to kiss her bright pink lush lips drove me to a point of utter insanity.

I had never in my life had any desire like that before. I typically found women in general fake, almost pathetic. They always threw themselves at any available bachelor who happened to be an "aire." Plus the way they tried so hard, dressing trashy showing way too much instead of being chic or classy, never did anything for me. But Jessica did nothing of that, she was there alone and completely comfortable with it. She didn’t see anyone yet she saw everyone, well almost everyone.

Then that barely noticeable reaction I saw when I kissed her knuckles surprised me almost as much as the painful hard-on I was sporting. Before that night, I couldn’t say when the last time I had an erection was. Ha, got to love the irony in that since I constantly have one now. And when I did feel her lips on mine, the electricity that shot through me almost made me come like Mt. Etna right there on the spot.

I know and have known that nothing about our relationship can be viewed to others as normal or healthy, but the need to have one another is deeper than anyone can fathom and it just keeps getting stronger. Though I’m pretty sure she’s known I’ve been obsessed with her, protective of her, I’ve always been a little worried of her perception of it. So, when she admitted that she wanted me to be possessive I was utterly relieved. It was my green light.

I wanted to bring her with me to Atlanta, but I know she has Sean at home so that gives me a little piece of mind. After seeing those photos yesterday of her while she went running on Saturday, I wanted to go ape shit, but I knew that would only upset her so I downplayed it as if it was something regarding business. The one and only thing I hate when it comes to her, is her ex. What he did to her and how he just won’t leave her alone brings me so much anger and rage. I no longer notice her scars but when she has her nightmares or as she calls them 'flashbacks', I just want to kill the fucker. Her fear and terror while she’s awake I can control, but when she closes her eyes I can’t and it shreds me to pieces, I just feel helpless.

We’re on our descent now and damn am I anxious to kiss her, to touch her. I know it sounds corny but I miss her and we usually don’t go the entire day without seeing one another. I didn’t even have time to call, to hear her voice. To say I was busy is an understatement. Between doing typical business, screwing Anthony out of a lot of money plus papa and I having to word the contract regarding the purchase of James Johnston’s businesses very carefully, the day was quite enduring. Considering Jessica is James, where the money is to go and how much to purchase them for is very delicate and is in fact what held us up for so long.

I told her I’d be home by five, but it’s looking like I’m not going to make that. I get my phone ready so that the second we land I can call her to let her know I’m sorry for being late and that I’m on my way. Jesus, you’d think I was a teenage school boy.

As we touch down I turn my phone on and see a voicemail pop up from her. Hitting play I hear a piercing scream from her, "ALEK! ANTHONY’S HERE! You broke my fucking nose you stupid bitch! You’re gonna fucking pay! Come here you cunt." Her screams send an eerie chill though my body and the sound of his voice has rage boiling through my veins. Where the fuck is Sean? Oh, man am I seeing red, I’m so on fire with anger, I’m fucking livid! How dare that piece of shit touch her, especially when I was very clear he stay away from her! That no good mother fucker! If he hurt her I will fucking kill him with my own bare hands!

I quickly snap out to Maksim and Andrei, You’re riding with me, Anthony showed up at home. They nod and as I run down the steps of the plane I bark at Edgar, "I’m driving get in the passenger seat. He hurries around and before his door is shut I hit the gas hard. Edgar, attach my phone and get Papa on speaker, now!"

Yes sir.

As the phone rings I drive this bi-turbo V12 harder than it’s ever been driven and being that its five o’clock traffic, I’m weaving and swerving like a mad man. I don’t give a flying fuck right now about the police or law. I’m only concerned about her, the woman I love.

Hi Syn, how was the flight? Is everything okay? My father asks worriedly.

No Papa, I need you and Mama to get here now. I don’t care if Simon has to turn around tonight and get you or if one of the other pilots fly you here, but make it happen ASAP. It’s Jessica, Anthony showed up to the condo. I’ll send you the voice message.

Of course Syn, we’re on our way, Papa replies without question and hangs up. I love him for his trust in me and my word.

Forward Jessica’s voicemail to my father then call Ivan, I tell Edgar as I push the six hundred-plus horses under the hood, trying to cut the thirty minute drive to five, though I know it’s impossible. I may not know what exactly happened, but what my gut is telling me is it’s horrible.

Yes sir, Ivan says through the speakers.

Ivan I need you to get all video feed from today on my home building. Everybody who entered and exited, in particular I’m looking for when or if Sean left and when Anthony Denerro arrived and get back to me immediately. Yes sir, and we disconnect.

Edgar asks, Sir would you like me to call Mrs. Petrov?

No, because if he’s is still there he’ll know I’m back and trying to reach her, I respond though I’m getting more worried by the second considering she hasn’t tried calling me again.

Chapter 2

Pulling up out front, I slam the car into park and leaving it at the curb for Edgar, I run through the lobby. Maksim and Andrei are trailing close behind me as I wait for the elevator. Fuck why can’t this goddamn thing hurry the fuck up?! I know that pushing the button won’t make it get here quicker, but I frantically hit it probably a hundred times before the doors finally open.

As the doors open and we walk through the foyer I tell the guys quietly, Search for Sean while I look for Jessica, then wait in the kitchen. They head left as I go right towards our bedroom. Walking in that direction I holler, Jessica, and I hear a faint, Alek, coming from our room.

Everything in me hurts. I just know it’s bad. I push open the double doors and my stomach lurches hard into my throat at the sight of her on our sleigh bed. Her arms are shackled to the nightstands and her ankles are tied to the feet of the footboard. Her back is all bloody and there’s blood between her legs.

"Baby," is all that I can muster as I rush to her and hurriedly undo the bindings. My body is numb and I don’t think I’ve ever truly cried this hard in my life, yet uncontrollable tears are flowing down my face as I do this. Once they’re undone I kneel on the floor next to the bed directly in front of her face.

Her eyes are empty as I my fingers shakily comb her hair, scared of touching her anywhere else.

She whispers, Darling please don’t cry. You have to be strong for me. I need you to be strong. You’re my rock, please.

Holy fuck how am I to respond to that?

I nod, wipe away quickly the tears and standing I pull out my phone to call in a favor.

Harold, I need you to come to my home. My wife’s been attacked, I tell him and he asks, What all do I need to bring?

A lot of everything, I reply and he says, Yes sir, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.

I let the front desk know to expect Harold and my parents, then kneeling in front of her again I softly say, Baby I’m just going to meet with Maksim and Andrei for a minute, I’ll be right outside our door.

She doesn’t budge just blinks, completely empty.

Fuck, why her?!

Why my angel?

This is like a dagger to the heart that someone keeps twisting, I just want to scream! So keeping it all in, I kiss her hair and turning on my heel I walk out to the kitchen.

Anything? I ask and they shake their heads no.

Son of a fucking bitch. I bet Anthony got to him! You two get comfortable because you’re moving in here. You guys take his quarters and one of you head out and get new locks for the foyer. I'll let you know when Ivan changes the passcode.

They nod and leave just as my phone rings and I see its Ivan. Got anything?

Yes sir, Sean left at one thirty and Anthony arrives pretty much at three.

Ivan, change the pin code to get in here, now. Make it one zero five eighteen eleven and text me immediately to let me know it’s done.

Yes sir, and he hangs up.

I head back to her and she still hasn’t moved, just absolutely stoic. I kick off my shoes take off my jacket, vest and tie. Baby I’m going to shift you so you can lay atop of me, I tell her in a quiet voice and she nudges her head slightly.

Her voice is weak as she whispers, First can you please drape sheets over the mirror so I can turn my head darling?

Of course baby, give me a second, and grabbing two sheets I do just that.

As I curl myself under her she sobs loudly. I’m guessing it’s due to the movement and it instantly shreds me to pieces. Since I can’t touch her, I comb my fingers through her hair and whispering I chant, I love you baby. I’m so sorry, so unbelievably sorry.

Her tears stream down like a raging river and when a there’s a knock on our bedroom door I murmur, Baby, it’s the doctor, I need to get up.

Still crying, she pleads softly, Alek please don’t leave me.

Jesus I’m on the verge of losing it completely. Forcing myself to hold it together I kiss her forehead and tell her, I’m not going anywhere baby.

Thanks for coming on such short notice Harold, I greet him and lead him in.

Yes sir, I understand, and walking towards her he eyes me warily as he sees that she’s naked and beaten very badly. I nod, allowing him to advance and he kneels down next to her face. Mrs. Petrov I’m Dr. Harold Peterson. Mr. Petrov tells me you were attacked earlier, is that true?

Yes, she chokes out with vacant eyes.

Acknowledging this he says in a soothing voice, Mrs. Petrov I’m going to give you a sedative that won’t last long. I’m giving it to you specifically so I can dress your wounds and bandage you up without you being in great pain while I do it. I’ll come back every morning and every evening to redo this for the next few days until you can handle it and then Mr. Petrov will do it. Are you okay with that?

Though she doesn’t move a muscle, she at least says yes.

He tells her to count back from one hundred as he injects her with something. Once we’re both sure she’s out he asks me, Do you want me to do a rape kit on her?

He’s referring to the bleeding between her legs and because I can’t form any words, I nod and warily go sit in one of the wing back chairs in our room that overlooks a skyline that usually I adore yet currently I can’t find anything enjoyable about any of this.

Chapter three

When he’s all finished he sits in the matching chair facing me. I’m completely at a loss. I’m angry, I’m crushed, I’m livid, I’m mortified, I’m irate but most of all I’m utterly out of control and in absolute agony.

Breaking the silence he says, Yes, she was raped, though only anal no vaginal penetration. Here’s medication to give her every eight hours. It'll make her drowsy and a little loopy but her pain should be minimum. I’ll be back at seven thirty in the morning and seven at night to redress her wounds. She is to only wipe herself clean, no shower or bath until some of her wounds have healed. She’s gone through a great deal of trauma Alexei, so be patient with her. She has both emotional and physical pain to work through that may take some time. Don’t be surprised if she shuts everyone out for a while. It’s common for victims to isolate themselves. Oh and she’ll be out for probably another half hour, though I wouldn’t doubt it if she sleeps until tomorrow given the obvious, but just check on her.

Great, just fucking wonderful. Not only can I not take care of her, I overall can’t do shit.

Thanks again Harold, we’ll see you in the morning. I tell him as I escort him to the elevator. Coincidentally it dings just as my parents enter. I pretty much shove him out and once he’s heading down, I cry like a baby in my mother’s arms. Without saying a word my father takes their bags to the main guestroom. Can’t believe I can even think this, but I’m surprised and relieved that Jessica freshened up that room already.

Let’s head to the kitchen syn, Mama insists and giving in I walk her in that direction.

I’m completely numb but I somehow still manage to have manners. You two want anything to drink?

First take me to moya malyshka, Mama demands and I only have the strength to take her to the entrance of our room. I watch her walk to Jessica and as her own tears fall I turn away as the pain of it all ricochets through me once again.

While Papa is making himself a cocktail, he asks, Gin and tonic syn? I nod and sit on one of the barstools. My body sags and my head feels like a hundred pounds and it’s safe to say I’m utterly emotionally beat. Thank god they’re here because I don’t think I could handle all this on my own.

Syn I know you’re angry, Papa begins and I shut him down, holding up my hand.

Don’t go there right now Papa, I’m getting angrier by the moment. I said I wanted him taken care of, yet you keep holding it off and look what happened. Just two weeks ago, she miscarried because of that fucker and now she’s been brutalized and raped by him. I’m fucking outraged so don’t try to pacify me. If I knew where that piece of shit was right now, I’d go and finish him with my own two hands. You want me, expect me, to just sit back and let this happen to her? What would you do if it was Mama? Hunh? I’m telling you this, it will not happen again, no fucking way! I shout at him with lead in my voice and ire in my eyes.

He has a point Viktor, Mama says from the closed bedroom doorway. As she takes a seat on a barstool she says, Syn maybe you should call her mother, she might be able to help.

What a damn joke, but placating Mama I say, Here, you want to see how much her mother loves her, listen to this. Playing back the voice message on her phone I give Mama an ounce of what I’ve come to realize. Jessica’s mom is not a mother. I watch Mama’s reaction and she looks at me like I’m crazy.

Yeah, so just to inform you, you’re now pretty much the mother of four. She needs you where I can’t provide, the motherly nurturing stuff. Standing up I say sternly, There’s a ton of food in the freezer and she just made chili today so, help yourself. I’m going to go hold on to what little I can and I’m sorry for being cold but I honestly do appreciate you guys being here more than you can imagine.

Don’t worry syn. We completely understand. We’ll see you in the morning, Mama replies, caressing my face.

I just want to break, to shatter and scream at that the agony of this single touch, because when Jessica touches me like this it means everything to me. The feeling is so much warmer and loving. Fuck this is killing me! I want to feel her goddamnit!

Putting on her favorite movie, Tin Cup, I get ready for bed and climb in, pulling her atop of me. She’s not knocked out anymore but she is asleep, which is just fine considering. Her body is wrapped like a mummy from her hips to the tops of her shoulders. I lightly rest my hands on the lower part of her hips and just breathe her in, letting the smell of her hair blanket me.

It’s amazing how one morning you leave the person you adore, absolutely giddy and when you return they’re completely broken thanks to someone else. Is it because of what you did or is it because of what you didn’t do? That’s the million dollar question.

Chapter four

Like she can read my erratic mind she whispers, He would have gotten to me at some point in time no matter what stud. He told me he got to Sean and that Sean’s been informing him of our whereabouts. Especially today down to when your plane took off and when you were coming back home.

Even though I want to go caveman, start yelling and asking a million questions I just kiss her head, trying to comfort her. I feel somewhat at ease when she shoves her hands under my shoulders, pushing into me. I love this position, her sprawled atop of me, curled into me tightly, banded like she wants to bury herself into me. It’s so heartwarming and comforting, plus she moved without crying so I'm a little less irate.

Because I know if she were to dig, I wouldn’t have anything nice to say at the moment, I continuously kiss her hair and tell her I love her.

˜˜˜˜

I jerk awake when I feel her shifting, removing her hands. Baby what’s wrong? Are you okay? What's the matter? I ask, panicking, afraid she’s having a nightmare, though I wouldn’t blame her if she was.

A faint chuckle leaves her and she says, Relax darling, I just have to pee. Can you help me though?

I’m actually in shock that she chuckled. Maybe she won’t isolate herself like Harold said after all. God do I hope.

Of course baby, hang on let me slide out first so I can help you, I tell her and slowly scoot out from under her, then gently help her ease out of bed.

Please don’t turn on any lights, I don’t want to see, she whispers barely and my heart breaks.

Okay, is the only thing I can muster and nod as I guide her to the bathroom.

Once she’s there I pretty much stand over her and she says with a bit of sass, I think I can handle it from here handsome.

Good thing it’s dark otherwise she’d see me glaring at her.

Don’t even glare at me like that mister. At least turn around if you’re going to stand there.

How the hell does she know?

Such a minx!

I lift my hands in the air and turn around.

Once we’re back in bed she tells me, He’s pissed that you screwed him out of pretty much two hundred million. Is that true?

That’s just the beginning of it, but I don’t want you to worry about it right now. Besides the obvious, how are you feeling? I inquire feeling like I’m skating on thin ice and avoiding the first part of what she said.

My body feels like it’s on fire and I feel mummified. It’s an interesting feeling, being encased in wounds, a little ironic.

Dr. Peterson left some pain pills, do you want any?

Not yet, I’m not that bad but can you put on a movie?

I put on Sex and City for her and fall asleep while she watches it.

Chapter Five

Thanks to the bright sun I wake as she sleeps soundly. God she looks like an angel, halo and all, just absolutely beautiful, so breathtakingly gorgeous. I’m itching to touch her, to hold her but I know I can’t and it just kills me. Oh but man, does this give me an idea.

The doctor’s going to be here in twenty minutes so I slide out from underneath her, brush my teeth and throw on some clothes. She’s still asleep as I walk past, so I silently shut our bedroom door. My father is sitting at the kitchen counter reading the paper when I enter.

Utro syna Morning son Papa says as I pour myself some coffee.

Utro papa Morning papa I reply and sit next to him.

How did she sleep?

Quite well considering. By the way Harold’s going to be here the next few mornings at seven thirty and back at seven in evenings to redo her bandaging. While she’s out this morning though can you help me do something? It shouldn’t take but a little more of an hour.

Of course syn.

My phone buzzes and it’s downstairs. Answering it, they inform me Harold’s here and I tell them to send him up. Meeting him in the foyer I extend my hand. Good morning Doctor.

Good morning Alexei, how is our patient doing?

Overall I’d say she slept fine though she did say she felt like her body was on fire and encased like a mummy.

Grinning at me he responds, That’s actually good to hear, may I see her?

Absolutely but I’m not sure if she’s awake. We walk into the bedroom and sure enough she’s still asleep. Her beauty literally takes my breath away. I love how her long dark hair splays across the bed, a contrast against the white. Her bright pink lush lips pout when she sleeps and her long fingers curl in front of her face innocently.

Harold walks over to the side of the bed, kneels down and in a soothing tone says, Mrs. Petrov it’s Dr. Peterson. I’m here to put some cream on your back okay?

Her eyes crack open and she gives him a slight nod. Alek? she ekes out.

Harold moves out of the way and pretty much lunging, I quickly get in front of her. It’s okay, I’m here baby, I tell her and stroke her cheekbone with my thumb, then trace her eyebrows and then the shape of her face. Half of a smile appears and I’m riveted, in absolute awe of her. God she’s so strong. I place butterfly kisses all over her face and by the time I finish kissing her lips, he’s done.

"Mmmm…Just between you and me, you’re a delicious distraction Mr. Petrov, don’t tell your wife," she says and falls back asleep.

Damn she’s funny, her dry sense of humor, the playful sarcasm I absolutely love it. I’m also very happy to see she’s back asleep. Now I can go about my surprise. I know she loves flowers and surprises and being that I relish in buying her things I come up with what I want to do for her.

I see Harold out and as I come back to the kitchen Mama is sitting at the counter. Utro Mama, I’m glad you’re up. I have a small favor to ask of you. Can you sit with Jessica for probably the next hour to hour and a half? I want to do something for her but I need for her to stay in our room and preferably asleep, okay?

Sure, no problem just let me get my iPad, Mama tells me and stalks off to their room and retrieves her stuff.

Thanks Mama. Papa you ready? He nods with a big grin and grabbing our jackets we head out.

Chapter Six

I sense someone is sitting on the bed.

I open my eyes and not seeing anything I turn my head and see a long lilac colored robe with legs poking out with pink toes. I slowly raise my head and recognizing who it is I’m utterly relieved. Hi Mama, I make out, though my mouth is dry as a desert.

Good morning malyshka. How are you feeling? She asks me as she lazily combs her fingers through my hair. I find the gesture soothing and warm though.

Like I just got into a fight with a semi-truck and it won. Can you get me some water please? I have major cotton mouth going on.

Absolutely, don’t you go anywhere, she says playfully and heads to the kitchen. She comes back with water but she’s so on point she even has a straw.

You’re a smart cookie Mama, thank you.

Ah and this smart cookie thinks you should get back to resting, malyshka.

Oh I will, don’t worry. Talk to me please. I love hearing about Alek, tell me anything, I ask once I’ve taken a sip and feel somewhat hydrated.

She continues to lazily comb my hair with her fingers, so I shift and rest my head on her lap. Well malyshka he’s always been shy or should I say reserved. I’m not exactly sure if it’s been his personality since day one or if it was created. He was always picked on though, whether it was Anya, Sergei or his classmates, someone was always taunting him. He’s always been different, from his looks with his emerald eyes, to his height and vast intelligence, but mostly his presence. I’d say everyone was intimidated by it and still is. Anya’s always been the serious over achieving business one, but Alek has always been naturally better at it. Sergei filled out quicker but obviously didn’t get nearly as tall as Alek and so he made fun of his lanky physique. So by the time Alek came home from college that first Thanksgiving, he had filled out and Sergei’s intimidation was immediate. Then they always picked on him for never having any friends nor a girlfriend, so until you he’s been enduring that ridicule. In all honesty I didn’t know if he wasn’t interested in women or the idea of a relationship but, the few times I did set him up, the girls said he looked at them like they weren’t even there, just cold.

˜˜˜

That’s the last thing I remember when a strong aroma hits my nose, waking me. I open my eyes and see on my nightstand four different bouquets, all filled with Calla Lilies and red roses in various arrangements. I smile as my heart warms. I’m a sucker I know it, but I just love flowers! I turn my head and see another four bouquets on his nightstand with a note in front. A big marker drawn red heart covers the entire front so I slowly reach out grabbing it and read:

Baby,

Around our home is a bouquet for everyday that I’ve loved you.

P.S. Mr. Burton left you a little something between these.

I love you,

Alek

Holy cow, I’m smiling and crying. Who knew that Mr. Cold could be so damn romantic?! Ha what those girls don’t know! I ever so slowly scoot across the bed and moving the vases away is one of the champagne flutes that Scott and Louis gave us for Christmas. Dangling from it is what makes my eyes bulge out. I grab the flute, so I can lye back down and I gawk at the bracelet that’s inside. Placing it down on the bed in front of my face I pull the small card out of the flute and it reads:

Dear Liz,