Tales from Suburbia

By Claire Buss

Tales from Suburbia is a collection of short stories, plays and blog posts that intermingle my own personal experiences as a mum, the peccadillos of suburbia and the perils of social media! The subject matter varies from social observation to the humorous reflection of toddler life. Burying my Baby is heartbreaking. One Two, Cha Cha Cha is hilarious. This collection is full of human foibles and folly and is both amusing and empathetic.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Claire Buss
• Release date: Jul 3, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370759378

Claire Buss

Claire Buss is a science fiction, fantasy & contemporary writer based in the UK. She wanted to be Lois Lane when she grew up but work experience at her local paper was eye-opening. Instead Claire went on to work in a variety of admin roles for over a decade but never felt quite at home. An avid reader, baker and pinterest addict Claire won second place in the Barking and Dagenham Pen to Print writing competition in 2015 setting her writing career in motion. The Gaia Effect was published in 2016 and Tales from Suburbia in 2017.

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Tales from Suburbia

by Claire Buss

Published by CB Visions in 2017

Copyright Claire Buss 2017

Smashwords Edition

The author asserts the moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior consent of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

For more information about the author visit her website: www.cbvisions.weebly.com

Other works by Claire Buss:

The Gaia Effect

Table of Contents

The Tale of the Toddler in the Night-Time

Bodies in the Graveyard

Bullet Your Day

Airport

A Pint of Milk & A Stabbing

Have You Slept With Your Neighbour Yet?

The Tale of the Lock Out

Burying my Baby

The Shopping Trolley Quest

One Two, Cha Cha Cha

Course PTM123

Happy Wife, Happy Life

The Tale of the Toddler in the Night-Time

Once upon a time - or at least, about a year and a half ago last Wednesday - there was a little boy who would not, could not, sleep through the night in his own bed.

It started with crying at regular intervals in response to loud lorries thundering past, the demon children upstairs who ran, screamed and stomped with wild abandon at 11pm and the sibling with the permanent hacking cough of an octogenarian who'd smoked one hundred a day their whole life.

Having been a stout supporter of at least two bottles of milk through the night, the child knew comfort would come. Having been conditioned to getting up several times a night from about four months pregnant, the mother resigned herself to never, ever having a good night's sleep again.

At first a cuddle was all that was needed. On extremely rare occasions the husband/father would rise from the sleeping dead and provide zombified succour but this happened once in a purple moon. Blue moons are more common than you think.

The cuddle then became a rocking motion with an internal headcount, first to fifty and then to one hundred. Things got better for a while but, our tale takes a turn for the worst.

A period of illness led to continual waking in the night and the requirement for longer cuddles. In tired despair one night the mother brought the child back to her bed and they slept. All was well. Rejoice, rejoice.

But it didn't last. The toddler discovered that by sleeping in the big bed he could sleep with both parents and feel their warmth all night long. He no longer needed a duvet, which he hated thoroughly and continually tried to kick off, as he could nestle in the middle of the two humps of parent. A foot here, a hand there. Practising his basic ninja octopus moves to perfection.

Night after night after night it continued until both parents had had enough of aching backs and sleepless nights and toddlers who stole all the duvet even though they weren't even under it. The mother read articles and advice from all manner of 'experts' but nothing seemed to work. The toddler would not sleep in his own bed in his own room. He loved his mummy too much.

An inner voice would say to the mother - co-sleeping is fine, it's good for everyone, you'll get used to it, you see animals all heap together to sleep, its normal. But it didn't stop the mother wishing for some comfortable space and a full night's sleep.

In the end grumpiness levels could not be sustained and so the toddler's bed was reinstalled in the parents room. And he danced and danced with