Our Story of His Lessons

By Sonya Contreras

Dear Ones,
Twenty years of Christmas news-letters arranged in descending order.

The lessons and my skills in writing have changed over the years, making it embarrassing to remind you of how simple the lessons once were and how rough the writing you endured. But the lessons needed learning and the stories must be told. Not to show what great things we have done, but to show what a great God we serve. It is, after all, His Story, as well as ours. And so, I expose our lives once again to the scrutiny of readers who may not understand why we do what we do, to share those lessons God has taught us of His faithfulness.

Because they were originally written as letters with postage considerations, proper punctuation (like new paragraphs for different speakers and topics) was overlooked to condense the writing.

These lessons aren’t really about picking up our clothes, or closing the door, if we open the door, or even how to love and get along with other people, although we’ve tried to instill those practices in our boys.

If there is only one lesson from this book above all others, it’s to know God. If you know God, He will teach lessons essential for you. He will show you the important things, the simple things, His things. He will lead you step-by-step through the simple lessons to the harder to conform you into His image. So that in the end, He can say, “Well done. My good and faithful servant.”

Sonya Contreras

People ask about the boys, about how we do it, about what it’s like. The yearly letters found here give you a glimpse into those answers.

We’ve lived in the foothills of the Sequoias for over eighteen years. Almost half of the boys were born in the house. We’ve set down roots, not only in our garden and with our animals but in our hearts where the land has helped us settle. We share memories on a yearly basis of what God teaches us, thus the chronicles of the Christmas letters.

Although the boys, quickly grown to be men, manage most of the happenings, I’m kept busy with laundry and putting food on the table. My husband works hard and travels far every day to provide for our experiments. We homeschool and that keeps them gathered around the homestead most days, unless they help others cut wood, weed-wack, or complete yard work. Sometimes, they may even throw a loop over a cow that needs rounded up.

Each one has his own talents. Some specialize in mechanics rather than animal husbandry. They’re relieved when their job at the barn is finished and they can see grease under their fingernails again. Others long for the smell of hay, horses and cows as they milk and evaluate pastures. All enjoy competing in sports where their legs are stretched and their minds are cleared. Each skill pushes them to their potential, and extends my husband and mine as we help them.

We are asked what animals we now have. It changes. But chickens, cows, horses, cats and dogs seem to be constant. Pigs, goats, sheep, birds and even guinea pigs have passed through our hands and hearts to leave a lesson from God to teach determination and hope. Busy times, where eight boys learn to be men; men with convictions and courage and skills that will take them into life.

Join me here for the lessons learned from years of life. Lessons of small steps, big hearts, treasured memories and a God Who holds our hands as we walk through it all.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bull Head Press
• Release date: Dec 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9781386947691

Sonya Contreras

Sonya Contreras can’t claim any suffering in her life, unless one counts struggling through science degrees at Cedarville University or Institute for Creation Research. Marrying her best friend certainly didn’t bring any suffering, only a better understanding of God’s love. But suffering seemed close when she disciplined her eight sons. She shares her struggles over her own self-ruling nature when she writes about what matters at www.sonyacontreras.com.

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December 2016

Who Has Control?

Dear Friends and Friends,

What do you control? Our house pulsates with someone vying for control, ownership, and dominion. Even our body wash promises control: Old Spice—Bear Glove: for the commanding man. Do we need a soap enforcing this idea?

Controlling children: it’s a battle parents must win. When our dentist drills for a filling, that child must sit still. Control is for his safety.

Control must be parceled off as responsibility grows and boys become men. Boys aren’t suddenly men and wise enough to make their own decisions. Sometimes allowing them control helps make them into the men they should be; other times, we can only wonder.

We started this year on a mountaintop. With friends by our side, we rappelled down cliffs to canyons only those willing to let go of the rope and fall into their beauty could see. After the first cliff, I never saw Michael who stayed with our guides in the lead. One guide at the end asked, If I felt empowered? I hadn’t controlled anything. I was with my family for our family vacation. What was to control?

Jonas volunteered to take Michael on his errands, but said, I refuse to take you if you have mis-matched, fluffy socks. Michael found matching fluffy socks. Jonas conceded. Another time, Michael told Jonas he would do anything to go with him. Jonas asked, How about obeying every day, then Mom will let you go. Michael’s response, Oh, that’s too hard. Control is hard to learn.

When the boys were removing carpet at church, I texted Jacob asking how Josh and Michael were doing. He replied, Great. I thought good. Later, when Jacob commented on how horrific the experience was, I reminded him he said Great. He looked at me with exasperation. Mom, that was without an ! That means a sarcastic response. Control over words and punctuation is essential for communication.

Control seems to be paramount at our house. It just depends on whose control you’re talking about. After removing popcorn and painting from the bedroom ceiling, Josh thought he was a master. I informed him, Doing it once, doesn’t make you an expert. Still staying on top, he said, Well, I’m experienced.

Along the same expert lines, Josh was discussing baseball. Rachel told him, If you played as well as you talked, you’d be an athlete. He and Michael played baseball this year on the same team. They finished the season as three-year champions, although we daily struggle with incorporating that team spirit.

After schooling for heavy equipment, and a few months’ job searching, Jonathan landed in Dallas, Texas. He started as a crane operator—on top of towers, constructing multi-level buildings. His other equipment training has also come into play. (If play is the right word for a job he loves to do.) He thrives with controlling his world of dirt, and high elevation. He’s exercised his control when a co-worker was directing his bucket of cement to the proper spot. Jonathan told him, Don’t touch my bucket. [Touching his bucket can knock the man off his metal support.] When the co-worker continued to touch it. Jonathan said, I will turn off my machine and leave my post, if you touch it again. The man didn’t touch his bucket. Jonathan does exercise control.

After celebrating his graduation, Jonas left for his training at Farrier School in Missouri (Horseshoeing and blacksmithing.) After considering taking his dog, he didn’t. In the end, the only animal he took, he said, Was Jacob. Jacob drove out with him, then flew home.

Before making their way to Missouri, they stopped at WI (where Joey John lives). We received pictures of Jonas having a tea party with Emma (3). Josh said, How lucky! The quest for whose control continued as Jonas told Emma, I’ll cut her fingernails, if she’d get the nail clippers. She wanted him to get them. He said she would have to. She sat on his lap, kissed him, then asked to be carried to the bathroom to get them. Now who has control? Do my boys have a chance against any female?

Before Jonas was gone four days, Michael informed James, I’ll give you Jonas’s horse, so I can have yours. As if he was in control!

Joey took Josh and Jacob to Frontsight for rifle training. In a man-to-man contest, against some stiff competition, Jacob earned a first. Impressive! He had control.

James controls through serving. Although in charge of the chickens for years, he’s walked in Jonas’s footsteps with the cow management. Now with Jonas in school, all the animals were delegated to him. He milked and managed the pastures for all their cows and horses. Jonas treats animals as a business. James holds them in his heart. Every morning he moved them to their respective fields. One evening, while getting a stubborn calf moving toward home, his milk cow ate Oleander (a poisonous plant). She ate but a few mouthfuls, before James re-directed her home. A little poison went a long way. She died. Control over heart issues is hard.

James bemoaned not driving, especially when he had to recruit a trailer, truck and driver to move his cows. He counted the days till he could take his permit test. In CA he cannot drive, even after his permit test, without taking a lesson from a preapproved agency. The day was scheduled. Michael said, He hoped he wasn’t alive when James got it. James added, We hope so, too. (Does such honesty happen with girls?) The evening before the scheduled lesson, reports differ as to whether James just fell off or the horse dumped him. Josh bemoaned either way. Too bad you didn’t get thrown, falling off your horse is not very exciting. James assured everyone he didn’t fall off. The horse did scrape her nose and forehead, attesting to the stumbling part. It was at this time, James commented about the klutzy pregnant horse. The report of the horse stumbling and falling seemed more probable. James confirmed again. She did stumble and fall.

This was the first I’d heard she was pregnant. Apparently, a neighbor’s donkey jumped the fence while our horses were grazing at another neighbor’s months ago. I asked, When I was going to be told about all this? James smiled his sheepish grin. When she delivered. I told him, "Pregnancy took a while for a reason—so all people involved, including his mom, are ready. What happens that we (the parents) have no idea? Maybe the idea to control is a fallacy.

We went to Valley Children’s for x-rays, after canceling James’s long-awaited driver’s appointment. HIs wrist was fractured, delaying his driving, again. Another spill from his horse when a borrowed saddle’s cinch broke, makes me wonder if it should be the year for him to drive at all.

Now that James is driving, with adult supervision, Jonas said, he Would medicate his cows if James was ‘legal’ to drive. James said, It’s not like I’m some alien from China. If I remember right, it wasn’t too long ago, I felt the same about Jonas.

Although Jacob tells us our Squaw Valley culture is unique, we can’t be totally red-necked, because we don’t do this...Jonas told of Top Knot, a student in his class in MO, who jumped out of the truck for a possum lying on the road. While attempting to kill the faking animal with his pocket knife, he stabbed his own leg. He was sent home.

When asked about his school nicknames, Jonas said he corrected someone at school. The student was told, You’ve been ‘home-schooled!’ His nicknamed stuck: Homeschooled. His other nickname was Merry, Merry quite Contrary. Or Merry for short.

One girl was nicknamed Pineapple. She was brunette on the outside and blonde on the inside. She started to cry, so the name didn’t stick. The instructor gave it to another girl. She said she didn’t get it. The name stuck.

I wonder if we’ve prepared our boys for girls. How do you do that? One student couldn’t walk around Jonas’s extended mirrors on his truck. She continually pushed them toward his doors. In Walmart, his mirrors were folded again. The girl’s keys were left in her car in the parking lot. Jonas moved her car and left.

Jonathan invited friends on Facebook to his wedding. As his invitation ended, he requested someone to bring him a bride, so he could marry in a timely manner. Along the same lines, Jonathan met a girl from heaven at a mall. I warned him, Lucifer was from heaven, but he was cast out. Not all heavenly things touched by earth are good. Some things are not for man to control.

While Joey and I visited Joey John, Rachel and Emma in WI, Emma played teacher. She’d cough, before speaking, then pause with nothing more to say. When I was teacher, I explained students must raise their hands before they talked. She listened carefully, then ran to her mom asking for another teacher. When Joey taught, she raised her hand, then whispered to him, looking at me. Girls are so different!

Birth timing is only in God’s control. We came home from our visit without seeing any grandbaby. Our second granddaughter Grace arrived April 4th to a very ready family.

Forget dancing like no one is watching, dance like a toddler. They don’t even care if there’s music—We so enjoy our Emma and Grace!

While we were gone, Michael made an ancestor tree—a painted rock for each member, complete with hair from dogs, goats, deer, and not sure I should ask what else. James commented, We’re a bunch of rock stars. Later, Michael painted rocks to resemble M&M’s. Now when someone asks for my M&M’s, I can offer them the bright, colorful version on my desk. They decline. Thank you, Michael!

After months searching auctions, Craig’s list, checking VINs for accidents and hidden problems, Jacob bought his first truck. While others offered full price, the seller waited until Jacob arrived because she liked his polite and caring voice on the phone. Moms worry about the control behind a wheel of a car, but when Jacob mentioned he was improving his gas mileage, driving slower, more consistent...maybe I have less to worry about...or maybe he’s not stopping when he should? Do I have any control anyway?

After Michael pestered James to pet his hamsters or hold his birds, James said, Pet your fish. You never pet your fish. I never ask to pet your fish.

With more rain this year, the boys’ yard care service extended far into the summer. We were all weary of picking bull-heads from our feet and digging stickers from our clothes. Jacob found scheduling and organizing the day wearisome. When Josh returned, with a dirt circle around his eyes, I asked why the other boys didn’t get it. Jacob explained, He’s low to the ground. After educating Michael that the boys didn’t whine about heat to their patients, Josh questioned my word, Patients. Jonas responded, It’s with great patience anyone works with Josh.

Jacob brought Josh home early from a job, calling first to prepare me. Josh had been chain sawing. He sawed through his glove and needed stitches. Glad Joey controls the stitches, and God controls the healing and protection.

With the added weeds, we also saw more animal activity. We open doors at night to cool down the house. Later, when the doors were closed, Michael met a rattlesnake inside. Between Michael holding its neck with a hoe, and my slicing with dull knife, we eliminated the threat.

Another time, James and I chased a bat out of the house. Its sonar avoided our control for a while.

Josh found a tarantula in his bedding. Josiah’s friend hesitated to sleep in the same room. During the night, when the cat rubbed against him, he kicked it across the room. Tarantulas aren’t that big, but in his half-sleep, imagined state, they were.

With the afternoon heat, I don’t like being touched. Every dinner, James’s cat slinks under the table and rubs against only me. I whispered to James, I don’t like hair rubbing on my legs in hot weather.

James in his practical, forthright manner said, Shave them.

Since no one is home long enough to clean and water plants, I told the boys I needed a low-maintenance house. Jacob said, I need a self-cleaning truck. James suggested, Just don’t get in it. Maybe that’s the only way I’ll get the low-maintenance house, too. Who has control over dirt?

Michael told Jonas, He was mean for making his dog stay at the door. Jonas replied, You’re mean, if you don’t discipline your children. No one will love them. James added, If he gets married and has children.

Jonas instructed Michael and Josh, When you get to be my age and you’ve obeyed, Mom and Dad might like you. Michael responded, They already do. Jonas corrected, They love you unconditionally, because they have to. But they don’t have to like you.

I told the boys, I didn’t want any watermelon, but someone may cut it up. Jonas gave some to me. I ate it. Jonas nodded to the boys. There’s a lesson on how women think. What did he know about women? He proceeded to tell us. They say, don’t get me anything, but if you don’t, they’re mad. I asked Jonas what else he knew about women, he wisely said, That’s about all.

After Jonathan purchased a motorcycle, a police officer told him, Either don’t speed or speed so they can’t catch you. Makes me wonder about TX. Makes my boys want to move to TX. What would life be like without controls?

For Michael’s birthday, Jonas, James and Josh scared him as he came out of the bathroom. Joey said, That’s what happens when you’re double digits. James added, We’ll stop when you’re triple digits, so you don’t have a heart attack. Should I feel relieved?

Jonas took Michael to a musical. When asked if he understood it, he said, No. I told him the story was told in the songs. He said, I didn’t listen to the songs. Then you won’t understand the story.

Joey John is realizing control is important even with perfect grandchildren. He told Emma she’d have to wait until she grew up for something she wanted to do. She wanted to grow up now. She stood, lifted her arms, clenched her fists and closed her eyes with a smile. When she opened her eyes, and she hadn’t grown up, her smile left. Joey John repeated she’d have to wait. She closed her eyes again and still wasn’t grown up when she opened them. After several times, she cried. We can’t control everything, even how fast they grow up. Isn’t that a good thing?

Jonas was instructing James on how to negotiate a price for his cows. When someone asks you, what’s your lowest price, you don’t tell them. You say, ‘Make me an offer.’ Then you counteroffer. But never tell how low you’ll go.

James is still teased by ducks he purchased several years ago. The owner had said, I was going to sell them for $20, but for you, I’ll charge $25. Jacob heard but waited until later to speak of it. Now he just says, For you, it’ll be $25. Yet, James is the man with the money. He pays for his animal expenses, even while raising hamsters for fun not profit, and loans generously to brothers and gives to his mother whenever in need. I’d say he’s got the negotiating down all right. Even if the ducks were $25.

A neighbor on Pepperweed called informing James he had his cow. We arrived to find Hazel had jumped his fence, and disappeared. After an afternoon of searching on horseback, James drove her home.

Jacob acquired sheep. Somehow we (the parents) weren’t informed (again). Two were killed by neighbor dogs while at a neighbor’s pasture. I do hate the ‘fallenness’ of creation. How can anyone expect to control everything that happens?

Controlling everyone’s schedule should be easy. Jonathan came home for ten days. Jonas traveled from school to WI then home, then to Canada to help harvest, then back to WI for his truck, then drove home. Josiah visited his mentor in NJ after working construction all summer and before starting school. Jacob worked in KY for a few weeks, helped my mom move on a weekend, and arrived in time for school to start. Then I needed to remember when Joey jumped from planes, or had Army drill, and which office he worked for the day. I would daily ask—who is going to what job, where, in what vehicle. One son became frustrated with me when he had to repeat where he was going. Although it may seem to that one son, I’m scatterbrained (My brain is torn in ten different directions on a given moment), I don’t control the schedule, just