Rise Up!: Life and Literacy in an Urban First Grade
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About this ebook
In the final chapters some startling school district data is introduced as well as three common-sense recommendations to give all kids a fair chance in school. Having learned so much about the realities of public elementary education in her five years in the classroom, the author wanted to share the good news of what is possible with others who might otherwise view this as a grim subject.
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Rise Up! - Linda Katz, MSW
AUTHOR
V.
BACKHANDED APOLOGY
I am sorry I am woman. Sorry for the cicadas of my chest, how they hibernated for thirteen years, then ruined your summer. Sorry for each freckle on my shoulder—specks of dirt in your pancake batter. Sorry the high school banned tank tops so you could concentrate on your math. Sorry I bled on your couch. Sorry I didn’t tell you, flipped the cushion upside-down. Sorry I grow hair, like you. Sorry that even in television commercials for women’s razors it’s always a bare, bronzed leg being shaved. Sorry I’m not already all the way removed. Sorry for walking down the street wearing that skirt. Sorry for the minutes it took out of your workday to gawk like that. To say those things. Sorry I didn’t say, Thank you. I thought you were going to kill me. Sorry I keep my mail, front door, and apartment key between each of my fingers when I walk. Sorry I say sorry so much. Sorry you got fired for grabbing my ass like it was the candy on my desk. Of course it belonged to you. Sorry for all the ridiculous laws—of gravity too—I’m sure my breasts are very happy to see you. Sorry you liked breast milk so much. Sorry I fed you in public and let everyone know you loved a woman then. Sorry I was your first home and didn’t leave my body open for you to crawl back in. Sorry that the egg that made me came from inside my mother when she was inside her mother. Sorry for all this forever. Sorry you’re on the outside of the joke. Sorry I bled on your couch and I didn’t turn over the cushion this time.
THE SUIT
The suit was probably a hand-me-down from my brother,
and I’m not sure where I got the briefcase, or the shoes,
but the baseball cap was my own: a relic from the years
I spent trying to be a trophy for my father’s shelf and failing.
Benched by my own dad.
The other girls were what they always were:
fairies, Barbies, princesses and dolls, some babies
for the third year in a row. But I didn’t want to be
something so helpless, so kitten.
I pressed the stick-on mustache above my lip
and ran my finger along it, remembered the time
my brother cried because dad shaved his off —
he didn’t recognize him without the furry badge
that made him father.
I’m not sure if I shoved a sock in my underwear
or not, but I walked like I had,
like I inherited the earth.
The other boys tried to one-up each other
with who had the most muscle: the cop,
the Power Ranger, the ninja, the shark.
But I knew, as they had taught me in school,
as life would constantly remind me—a ribbon
wrapped around my finger so tightly it draws blood—
I was the most powerful thing I could be. I was a man.
I didn’t ask for the candy with a curtsy or a please.
I jabbed my hand into the bowl.
I took.
ALIBI
for the rapist who used the excuse of sexsomnia to clear his name
I’ve suddenly contracted a sleep-punching disease.
I’m going to cuddle up next to everyone
who believes your shit.
In my disease
I tie balloon animals
out of scrotums.
It’s okay. I’m sleeping.
I don’t want to be held
accountable either.
It’s funny, your disease