Travesty

By Carrie Thomas

Waking up in a house she doesn’t recognize, sixteen-year-old, Sophia Sawyer, tries not to let the blankness of her mind terrorize her from the inside out. How can she not know who she is? How has she ended up chained in a basement? Trying to work through her fear, she sets her sights on escaping. When an opportunity arises, she puts her trust in a boy she doesn’t know, praying he will save her life.
At age four, Abram Scott learned life owes him nothing, while fourteen taught him how to throw a punch—and take one. Seventeen though... seventeen provides him with the best and worst year of his life. Before he is old enough to fight for his country, he will escape his own personal hell, save a life, live a lie, break the law, fall in love, betray that love... then lose it.
Letting Sophia go while not knowing if she will return, turns into the scariest decision Abram will ever make. But that’s the problem with living a lie; at some point, you have to decide which one is your truth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carrie Thomas
• Release date: Oct 4, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370115136

Book preview

Money sucked. I hated the feeling of not having any. I hated that I needed it. And I really hated the fuckin’ fact my freedom awaited me in the form of three thousand dollars. I glanced back at the door, making sure the rusty trash barrel I’d pushed up against it hadn’t moved.

The barrel had been my makeshift dresser for the past four years. It wasn’t ideal, but neither was living with two assholes who got off on torturing a kid, so I didn’t complain. At least I’d had enough common sense to line it with a trash bag, so my clothes didn’t stink—beyond the rank stench of stale cigarettes and rotten food.

Quietly taking out the last bill from my duffle bag, I counted silently to myself. Twelve thousand, four hundred and twelve dollars. It had taken me almost a year and a half to save. I closed my eyes, wanting to scream profanities in frustration. Sighing, I closed the bag and shoved it back under the dilapidated floorboard, praying for a miracle. Once again, disappointment. No matter that I had more cash than any normal seventeen-year-old . . . because in the end, it wasn’t a-fucking-nough.

I’d learned over the last few years that one could blow through money pretty quickly when paying for necessities, like heat and food. I’d been working, pushing myself to the brink, with nothing to lose but my sanity—all for freedom. Freedom meant different things to different people. Escaping an abusive relationship, getting out from under your pops’ roof, or making your own choices were all viable meanings, but for me, it simply meant being me. Finding me. Unfortunately, I didn’t turn eighteen tomorrow, so without the money, I was still screwed.

What I wanted to do was tell Pat what a sorry piece-of-shit she was, then beat Jim within an inch of his sorry, sad-sack life. I’d been placed with them a little over four years ago, when I was thirteen. Talk about a life-changing moment.

Of course, being in foster care for the majority of my life, it wasn’t like I’d had anything else to compare it to. But somehow I knew, during that first week in their house, my life wasn’t my own. I’d never felt more insignificant or alone. I knew when Jim first laid his hands on me, I was at his mercy; it was up to me how I coped with it.

I heard footsteps and hurried to move the barrel back into place. I met Pat at the door before she could barge in.

I need smokes and a fifth.

She disgusted me, making me gag anytime she was nearby. I’d learned over the years to swallow the bile because throwing up only pissed them off even more. It wasn’t that she’d ever sexually abused me or anything. The only time she’d even touched me in a way that wasn’t meant to cause pain, was when I was younger and the social worker would show up.

I just got some. And the whiskey is under the sink, where it always is. I was sick of her shit, but quite frankly, still depressed because I didn’t have a solid plan for escape after four years.

She slapped my face. Hard. I spit out the side of my mouth not caring if any of it hit her. I gritted my teeth, my adrenaline pulsing through my veins, enough for me to feel on the verge of erupting. Like a fuckin’ volcano. I took the deepest breath, my lungs expanding twice their size, full of fury and hot air. My nostrils working double time to keep myself contained.

Calmness washed over me, as I once again, talked myself down from total and utter destruction. Killing someone was bad. It was not a natural feeling and I would not give into the weakness. It made me feel like something was off in my brain—considering beating someone to death—especially a female. But, I supposed at the end of the day, you couldn’t survive being beaten, stabbed, burned with cigarettes, and starved to the point of malnutrition, without having a few psychotic moments.

Now what? You want more, or you gonna get my shit? Her white T-shirt had stains on it, and she wasn’t wearing a bra. Her round belly protruded from the top of her stretchy pants, giving her a muffin top and several rolls.

I don’t have any money.

What do you mean? You just got paid. I know you keep something for yourself.

I paid our phone bill with it, I lied. Hopefully, I’d be gone by the time it was due. She wasn’t getting a damn dime from me. I’d die before I got into my stash to support her habits.

She lifted her foot, dragging a sweaty twenty dollar bill from her shoe and threw it at my chest. I cringed when it hit me, but never took my eyes from hers. I knew better than to bend over in front of her—she would kick me.

I expect change.

As she walked out, I sighed and grabbed gloves out of my jacket pocket so I could pick the dirty money up. She was so gross.

Taking the twenty minute bus ride to the liquor store meant more time with my thoughts. I didn’t even try to cover the blood-red hand print on my face. I almost wished someone would’ve asked me about it. I smiled, wondering what their reaction would be if for just once, I told the truth.

Feeling sorry for myself wasn’t a foreign feeling. In fact, I’d spent the better part of the first year with Jim and Pat, wishing I was dead. But I’d had a moment of realization one night as I laid on my back, staring at the water-stained ceiling. I wouldn’t be fourteen forever. One day, I’d be a grown man. One who could live where he wanted; work where he wanted. Once I had my mind set right, I stayed focused. Every now and then, I’d slip, but mind over matter had become my mantra.

As I sat in the rear of the bus, I noticed a bag lady picking through a dirty sock like it was her purse. It was at one time, I suppose, white. Now it was brown. I didn’t even want to know what she had inside of it, so I looked away. Dirtiness made me uneasy.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat. Sticking my ear buds in, I decided not to take in my surroundings. As the bus came to a stop, I hopped off, passing a drug deal, a homeless man with a sign that read, Let’s cut the shit, I need to buy a joint, and a black cat that for some reason had me feeling more uneasy about crossing its path than the others. Needless to say, the poverty level in this town was almost one hundred percent.

Abram! How goes it, young man? Cypress, the older gentleman who ran the corner store, greeted me. He was nice enough, but uneducated. Sometimes, I thought he was in worse shape than I was.

I’m good. And you?

Can’t complain. The usual?

How sad was that? The usual. Only seventeen and I was quite certain he thought I was an addict.

I waited to answer him until a suspicious guy walked outside after he’d used the restroom. Sure. Thanks. I threw the money down on the counter, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Once he had me bagged up, I made my way back to the bus stop. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. I was leaving for a new jobsite and it was honestly what kept me going. I traveled around, climbing towers for a living. It wasn’t the best job in the world, but it kept me away from home.

I hated remembering the past, but sometimes when I was alone, it was inevitable. Looking back on it now, I think the initial beating shocked me. At thirteen, I believed there had to be some way out of it. Like I would be able to get away, or fight back, but I just hadn’t been strong enough. During that first pounding, one of my molars had cracked in half, and to this day, hadn’t been fixed. Of course, I’d never been to the dentist, so fixing it wasn’t exactly an option. I planned on changing that once I was on my own.

Back at the house, I threw the cancer-sticks, alcohol, and change on the table, then made my way back to my room. I had to pack for the road. Keeping my mind on something positive—like being away from the house—helped me make it through the day to day stuff.

Pat was asleep on the couch, so I knew she wouldn’t bother me. Jim, of course, was in bed watching TV. Lazy bastard never got up to do anything.

Where’ve you been? Jim yelled.

Getting smokes.

The yard ain’t gonna mow itself, kid.

Yeah, I’ll get to it. Go to hell, old man.

Pick up that dog shit too. I don’t know whose dog keeps gettin’ in my yard, but next time it won’t be leavin’. I got a bullet that’ll fit snug between his eyes.

Nice. I would mow his yard and I’d do it for free because I knew making waves with either of them would only delay my escape. They’d figure out a way to make impossible for me to climb towers. They’d do something to me in my sleep and take the only thing positive I had going for myself. Without being on the road, I had nothing. No escape from home, and no money.

I had given them eighty percent of my wages for the last few years. At first, I’d given them everything because Jim would knock me around. His intimidation worked too, until I turned fifteen and grew seven inches and gained about fifty pounds. Now, he kept taking the money I handed him, and didn’t say anything.

I’d been able to pass for eighteen for a year. Jim had gotten me a fake ID so that I could work in the union. That meant I made more money, which meant he made more money. It pissed me off every time I thought about it.

I spent the next half hour mowing the weed-infested landscape they called a yard. Putting the antique mower back into the dilapidated shed, I made my way to the library to pick up reading material for when I was on the road. It got difficult to be patient, and books helped keep my mind off reality. I’d spend my down time getting lost in someone else’s world, which kept me from thinking about my own.

I struggled to make connections with people. Everyone I’d come in contact with led such normal, ordinary lives. Most of the time, I felt inferior and different. How could I bring up that I’m not only an orphan, but one who was being abused? I probably wouldn’t have talked about it anyway, but when no one had any idea where I was coming from, it all seemed pointless to try.

Two hours and a bag full of books later, I made it back to the house. But no one was at home.

That was odd.

They were hermits. They never left the house, unless it benefited them in some way. And since anyone or anything benefiting them besides me hardly ever happened—they never left the house. I walked down the hallway and back to their bedroom, listening for Jim’s snoring, but I didn’t hear anything, so I took a chance and opened the door.

I flipped the light switch on and looked around. I shook my head in disgust. It looked like the rest of the house. Old, smelly, and dirty. I covered my nose with my arm, as a moldy, rotten smell hit my nostrils. There was trash everywhere and I couldn’t even see the floor from all the clothes and newspapers.

For some reason, I couldn’t focus on anything else except the plate of leftover burritos I’d made for Pat three weeks ago. I remembered it clearly because she’d told me that if I didn’t bring it to her, she’d drown my cell phone.

They were the dirtiest people I had ever come in contact with.

I remembered one time I had opened a new bar of soap and put it in their shower, to see if they’d actually wash themselves. I checked the size of the soap for a month. The indentations of the brand had still shown brightly in the center. The size of the bar hadn’t dwindled in the slightest. It sickened me so much that anytime I had to look at them, I felt like throwing up.

That was probably the main reason I was so OCD when it came to hygiene. I took at least three showers a day and I had to have deodorant and cologne on or I freaked out.

I opened my bedroom door and threw my books on the floor. The room was bare, the walls were a dingy shade of white with the sheetrock peeling and cracking in the corners. Pat did however, supply me with a mattress. She probably picked it up off the side of the road one night after someone threw it away.

I pulled out the old brown bag I carried my clothes in when I worked out of town. It wasn’t that big, but it worked for what I needed. I started packing. I didn’t have much in the way of clothes or possessions, so it didn’t take me long. I had to catch the four o’clock bus to Tulsa.

Placing the packed bag on the ground, I laid my head back on the piece-of-shit mattress and make-shift sheet I’d made out of old T-shirts, and closed my eyes. I wasn’t tired, but the faster I fell asleep, the faster I’d be gone.

You don’t want to go with us, do you? I just want it to be your dad and me, since we just got married and all. We never have any time alone anymore. My step-monster, Finley, whined from the counter she had just plopped her super toned, twenty-five-year-old ass onto.

You’ve been married for eight months.

Why are you such a smartass? We are still newlyweds. She glared at me from across the bar. To be so pretty, she was truly ugly. I had no idea what my dad saw in her, aside from the looks. But fugly didn’t begin to describe her soul.

Finley, I don’t care either way, but I would like to take some photos of the scenery, I said, hoping she would reconsider. Not that I cared what she thought, but this wasn’t her first rodeo. She would pester my dad about it until he finally gave in and let me down easy by trying to pawn me off on my best friend, Courtney.

Whatever. Is there one ounce of selflessness in your spoiled body? she asked walking out of the kitchen.

Not a one, Fitch. I muttered, making my way to my bedroom, the place where I spent ninety percent of my time. Courtney and I had blended Finley and bitch together for a code word. Fitch. We knew she wouldn’t get it.

I threw myself face first onto my bed. Finley had made no secret about the fact I was in her way. She wanted a baby with my dad so they could have their own little family. She drove me bat-shit crazy, but what was I gonna do, short of running away?

Realistically, I had two more years of this bull crap, then I’d be eighteen and head off to college. I had great grades, so a scholarship was inevitable. I hadn’t given much thought as to where I wanted to go, but I knew it would be far from them.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone from the nightstand.

SOPHIA: You are not going to believe what’s going on over here right now.

COURT: WHAT????

SOPHIA: Fitch is cooking!

COURT: No shit? Don’t eat it! She’s probably poisoned it!!!!

SOPHIA: She’s warming up burritos. Lol

COURT: What a dumbass! You want to eat with us? Mom put a roast in the oven a couple of hours ago.

I didn’t type a response. I was the worst best friend in the history of best friends. I was jealous of Courtney, but I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. I mean, I got that she had wonderful parents, but what was I hoping would happen? That we’d switch and she’d get a taste of chaos, loneliness, and feeling unwanted? No, I would never want that for her.

I glanced up at my bedroom walls. The wall behind my bed was fully covered with pictures of my friends, school activities, animals, and pretty much everything you could imagine. I’d found that unconventional photos were my favorite. I loved taking something that others viewed as flawed, then turning it into something amazing. There was something satisfying in making something ugly pretty.

Crap on a cracker. A trip would absolutely suck with Finley and my dad. Why would I want to spend extra time with them? I didn’t really want to go. I’d known it all along.

Instead of making her sweat, I decided to let Finley know my decision. Although, I wished just once my dad would ask me to join them. I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen.

Fitch looked up at me. This cooking is so tiring, can you hand me that can of chili?

I rolled my eyes. Warming up food was apparently cooking. I handed her the can of chili. I don’t really want to go with y’all this weekend. I’m just gonna invite Courtney over.

Yeah, you guys should have a party. She was excited now. My few words had changed her mood in an instant. She was so immature.

I’m going to the library, I said walking out the back door.

I didn’t need to go to the library, but I wanted to get out of the house. I tried not to call Courtney every time something disappointing happened at my house because I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me—any more than she already did.

I had nowhere to go, so I casually strolled through town, listening to my iPod, taking in the scenery. I enjoyed moments like these, when I could take a deep breath and block everything else out. I loved seeing the trees, the grass, the flowers—anything living in the same place as me. I loved taking in the old buildings downtown, wondering what year they were built in and by whom.

I pulled my camera out of my satchel. I couldn’t help it. My mind's eye went into overdrive when I had so much available at my fingertips. I held my camera up to my eye to focus on a green neon sign that was supposed to say DINER, but the N was out, so it read DIER. That wouldn’t be a big deal to most people, but for me it was an amazing opportunity. For what? I didn’t know, but I felt like I wasted something if I didn’t take advantage of moments like that.

As I brought my lens back, I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I always got so lost in my own motions while behind the lens, I was never sure of what I’d missed. Something odd grew deep in my belly, making its way up to form a lump in my throat. It was creepy. I swallowed, wondering how much time had passed since I started taking pictures. The sun had long past set, but I knew it wasn’t that late.

I glanced around, hoping to shake the uneasiness I was feeling. A guy taking a smoke break sitting on a couple of boxes behind the diner was engrossed in his phone, puffing away like there was no tomorrow. He seemed harmless. He couldn’t have been the reason for my feeling. He was engrossed in his moment from work and was probably less interested in me than I was in him. An older couple passed me on the street, but they looked happy and content, only having eyes for each other.

My eyes darted from side to side, barely able to connect with anything. I was trying to look at too much at once. Something told me the reason for my uneasiness was behind me, but I didn’t want to see what it was. I just couldn’t make myself turn around. I pulled my iPod out of my ears. I needed my hearing. I looked from street corner to street corner and didn’t see anything. I could feel something was out there, I just couldn’t see it. That’s