I Don't Like Wikipedia, So I Wrote This Encyclopedia: Everything You Need to Know About John McClane, St. Patrick's Day, Trump, Global Warming, Canadian People, Fox News, and More

By Huckleberry J. Shawshank

Wikipedia gets over 300 million visitors on the typical day. One man wants to bring that number down to zero. That man is renowned social commentator Huckleberry J. Shawshank, the most anti-Wikipedia person in the world. In I Don't Like Wikipedia, So I Wrote My Own Encyclopedia, Shawshank explains the issues that he has with Wikipedia, and he follows that up with an entire encyclopedia that he wrote himself. The book gives you an in depth look at a wide variety of topics--and if you read so much as 10% of it, you'll probably hate Wikipedia as much as Shawshank does.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rodney Ohebsion
• Release date: Mar 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9781540141514

Book preview

Introduction

I’m the most anti-Wikipedia person in the world. Wikipedia is a joke. Does that site seriously qualify as a legit encyclopedia? No. Every single Wikipedia article is something like, Obamacare blah blah blah, global warming blah blah blah, lowfat milk blah blah blah, can you donate $20 to the Wiki foundation?

You’re not really educating yourself when you read that. It’s superficial and misleading. Wikipedia. It’s misleading. And superficial. Both.

So I wrote my own encyclopedia. Because I’m not some dude who just, you know, passively accepts Wikipedia, just like some mindless idiot. I believe in real education. That whole passive thing—that’s not real education. It’s something else. Something that makes you dumb. I mean, you talk to people these days, and these people, they all have their phones and wifi and they’re looking stuff up on Wikipedia, and then you talk to them, and they all sound like idiots. Wikipedia has never made anybody more smarter. All you gotta do is listen to people, and you’ll see how true that is.

So, yeah. I don’t do the whole WIkipedia thing, and neither should you.

Now, before I get started with my encylopedia, I should point out that some of what’s in this book is not the most politically correct stuff in the world. You know? On Wikipedia, they wouldn’t allow that politically incorrect stuff, because over at Wikipedia, those un-American fascists don’t believe in that amendment, the one that has to do with free speech. I believe in that amendment 100%. In fact, I’m gonna print out that amendment a million times, and then wallpaper my apartment with it.

But, yeah. Let me address some of the un-PC stuff in this encyclopedia. Like, here’’s a good example of something in here that some people might not consider to be 100% politically correct. A few times in this book, I say something like women are idiots, or all women are complete idiots. When I say stuff like that, it doesn’t mean I’m being sexist or anything like that. I mean, no one respects women more than me, and no one has a higher opinion of women than me. So don’t take any of my all women are complete idiots statements the wrong way, and misconstrue them to mean I’m, like, one of those misogynistic people who say bad stuff about women. That’s not me at all. I’m very pro-woman. In fact, I think women should run half of the world. Women should do that, except, of course, for when they’re acting all menstrual and whatever. I think we can all agree that PMSy women should not be running half of the world. I honestly think that when women are in that crazy hormonal state, we should put them in jail, and then let them out when they’re done PMS-ing.

So, yeah.