Pest

By James Field

​The prettiest snakes have the deadliest venom. Aren't they just a pest?
Alf and Bert, the Cloud Mansion's security guards, are gifted with limitless brawn and gumption. A cunning pair of con artists have never failed to swindle their victims. When forces clash, only one side can win. The con artists fight dirty, but the security guards have a few tricks up their sleeves...

• Language: English
• Publisher: James Field
• Release date: Feb 22, 2017
• ISBN: 9788293174639

James Field

I was born in Essex, England, in 1951.My early days of work as an engineer led me to Norway where I met my future wife Kari. She moved to England where we married and raised our two daughters. We moved back to Norway in 1985.My wife and I now live far in the north, well within the Arctic Circle, in the land of the midnight sun. Life here is slow and comfortable, blessed by unspoilt nature and its magnificent moods.Being creative in the written form gives me vast pleasure. I hope, dear reader, you will take a break from your world and lose yourself in one of mine.

Book preview

Pest

A Cloud Brothers Short Story

James Field

Copyright © 2017 by James Field

All rights reserved.

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

Edited: Alexander Rollins

Contents

Foreword

1.Pest

Afterword

Foreword

Would you like a FREE copy of all twelve short stories in the Cloud Brothers series? All I hope for in return is an honest review.

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Pest

Alf had just collected the mail and was busy tearing the cellophane envelope from his motorcycle magazine. Bert fiddled with his smartphone. When it peeped a tone he'd never heard before, he almost dropped it. 'Cor, it works,' he said.

'What works?'

'This dating app what young Master Trevor fixed for me.'

'Yeah, what's it say then?'

'It says, Alf me old mate, that I've got a ninety-seven percent match within five-hundred metres.'

Alf screwed the cellophane into a ball and tossed it into the sink. 'We live in a gatehouse in the middle of nowhere, Bert. Ain't no woman around here–'

A sudden metallic crash made him stop and glance at the kitchen wall as if he could see straight through it. 'Blimey!' he said, climbing to his feet. 'A van's smashed into the boom barrier.'

Despite his jumbo size and weight, Bert was no slouch. He reached the door first and rushed out, his two Alsatians at heel. A small van stood with its bonnet crumpled against the bent boom barrier. He wrenched the van's door open and peered inside.

'Yeah!' he said. 'I knew it. You're a lady.'

The woman released the steering wheel and smiled. 'Well, thank you,' she said, pushing her jet-black hair away from her meticulously made-up face.

'Are you all right? You ain't had a fit or nothing have you? I thought you might have had a heart attack, or a stroke, or one of those epilepsy attacks.' He winked. 'I thought I might have to give you the kiss of life, but I can see I ain't that lucky.' His grin turned into a frown. 'Are you sure you're all right, lady? You look like you been dragged through the bushes.'

She twisted the rear-view mirror and stared at herself. 'I'm shaken,' she said. 'This has never happened before. The engine started making funny noises, so I pulled in here. Then my phone peeped with a tone I'd never heard before, and I got all flustered and bumped into your bar thing there. Sorry.'

Bert pulled his head out and called to his muscle-bound friend. 'No need to call the ambulance, Alf. There's nothing wrong here, just a lady who ain't got much gumption. We better push her away from the barrier so I can get the bonnet open and see what's wrong.'

The two men swapped places and Alf thrust his battered and scarred head through the door. He studied her for a moment and said, 'Oh, shit, it's you!'

The lady stopped breathing for a split second but maintained her friendly smile.

'Right, Bert,' said Alf, ducking back out, 'I know her. Her name's Olive. I don't want nothing to do with her so let's give her a shove and get rid of her quick.'

Bert stuck his head back into the van. 'Me and me mate Alf are going to push you away from the barrier. Are you ready?'

'Yes.' Her cheeks flushed.