Touring with Merri

By Carol Tipler

No sex,
no murder,
no mystery,
no mayhem.

Just 150 shades of great fun and philosophy as you follow Pete and Nav
and Merri on their travels and keep in touch with Clem and Josee and Mathilda on the farm.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carol Tipler
• Release date: Feb 6, 2017
• ISBN: 9781988186269

Book preview

Acknowledgements:

Thank you to Ani Gallagher, who said I would write this book even when I said adamantly that I wouldn’t. And to Helen Curlook, always my first reader, wherever she is.

Thank you to Maria Maille for so much help I can’t begin to count the ways.

Thank you to HG for keeping his promise to stay away from my laptop until this story was finished.

Thank you to the three woodpeckers, two of which gave their lives to get this tale off the keyboard and onto paper.

Thank you to the misguided robin during the summer the Universe was sending me signs to continue with this story.

Most of all, THANK YOU to Sally Hawthorne, who confronted her doubts and apprehensions and came through like the classy lady she is. The world awaits you, Sal.

September 20

Hello . . . Clem?

Yeah. . . .

It’s Pete, Pete Cargo. Your old travelling buddy. It’s been a long time, Clem.

Howdy, Pete. Son of a gun! As you say, it’s been ages. What’s up?

Nancy and I were reminiscing the other day about the good times we had when we were youngsters travelling. The thing is, Clem, Nancy and I are about to retire and thought we would try a road trip later this winter. Try to recapture the sense of adventure the four of us had back in the old days of our youth. I’m trying to set some sort of goal for myself, as I’m more or less in limbo at the moment, wondering where life is taking me. We would love to have you and Josee join us if it’s possible.

The four of us had some good old hair-raising times before you branched off into farming and Nancy and I went into government jobs.

We remember being really surprised when you and Josee took up organic farming. You were the most intelligent and philosophical of the four of us. Expected to see you remain in academia.

Yeah, well, people’s priorities change, Pete. Not sure you can recapture the sense of adventure we all had back in our youth. With your degrees in geology and geography, though, you might have a more in-depth trip this time around.

This forthcoming trip will be about three or four weeks. Remember how Nancy was always directing our escapades and ordering us about and we all called her Navigator? The name has stuck over the years. Our kids called her that when we took trips together, and I definitely call her that when we travel, because she usually has two or three maps with her and calls out directions. The problem at this point is that we have acquired a small GPS and Nav finds it irritating at times.

We plan to drive through the States, starting with Michigan and on westward, stopping in Arizona, especially Sedona, to visit at least one vortex, and then on to San Diego to visit friends, up the west coast to Vancouver and then back home across the prairies. We started out on this trip a few years ago, but in the opposite direction. Before we crossed the border from British Columbia to travel the Pacific Coastal highway, we changed our minds and returned home via the same route we had taken out. This time we are going to do the trip in reverse by starting with the States first.

So, Clem, what do you think about joining us?

Will have to think on it a bit, Pete. Also, I hate to cut you off, but I gotta milk the cows and have to get the milk ready for customers. Send me the details in a letter. I have email, but I’m way down the scale of being computer savvy.

Okay, Clem. I’ll mail you all the details, so you and Josee can ponder them. Nancy says hello. How’s Josee?

I’ll send you my news in a letter, Pete. Gotta go now.

Okay, old buddy, but I have to tell you this first. I’m looking forward to seeing the mighty rolling ocean, with its stunning power and its myriad of wonderful ocean creatures, but Navigator, who gets seasick just looking at water, is partial to desert, which I find boring. I wouldn’t tell her this, but she is much better at giving in to my seeing the ocean than I am with her visiting the desert. She really is looking forward to the vortices in Sedona. As I mentioned to her, there are vortices here too, and it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to get to them. My logic fell on deaf ears. I know she wanted to say something negative about the ocean, but as we have no ocean near our home, and we get to see it so few times, she refrained from saying anything.

Yeah, well, send me the details in a letter, Pete. I gotta get on with my chores.

Maybe my problem is that even with my earth-oriented degrees, I have never felt what Nav says she feels in the desert. To me, earth is earth, rock is rock. As you studied philosophy, Clem, you may understand that the type of vortex Navigator is interested in is one of energy emanating from the earth and perhaps opening to other realms. You may have even experienced one as you live in close connection to nature. I know I haven’t, and probably wouldn’t know what to do if something like that happened right above my head or under my feet.

I’m sending you a map and the Trip Tik, drawn up by CAA. As you will see, our trip, outlined in red, looks a lot like a pork chop, a fact that Navigator finds amusing.

Pete, can you send me all this in a letter or email?

Okay. Sure. Isn’t it strange how quickly this thing called time flows? So long ago we were planning all the adventures we would have in our life, many of which never happened, at least for Nancy and me. Now we are talking about our bucket list and putting some plans into concrete form before we exit this world.

We really miss the two of you and are hoping you can come with us, but we know how busy you are on the farm. Once we got over our surprise, we were so thrilled to see you go into organic farming, Clem. Navigator says that is what is called responsible farming, thinking of your consumers and future generations rather than yourself.

Yeah, well, send me the details in a letter, Pete. I gotta go now.

Okay. We won’t be leaving on this trip until March. We’re hoping it will ease us into retirement. Clem, there is nothing worse than losing your role in society, even if you are prepared for it. Nancy and I are both worried about having an empty feeling when we don’t have a job to go to. We think you and Josee did the right thing by buying a farm and changing your life course from academia to farming. At least you are always needed and will feel useful, regardless of the passage of years.

I’m not sure if this longer trip is practicable for you. Let us know if you are able to come with us. Don’t know if we can get up to the mischief we once did, Clem, but the trip should be interesting in any event. You likely need time to think about all this. In the meantime, send me a letter or email. You may want to brush up on your emailing skills.

Yeah. Ya got that right, Pete. Will get in touch with ya soon.

Okay. I’ll send the info by mail. Bye.

Bye, Pete.

October 06

Hi Pete,

Thanks for your call last week, and thanks for the information. I’ve been perusing it and considering it. It sure took me out of my state of hebetude, which I’ve been in since I had my license taken away for six months. Hebetude. That’s like being in a state of lethargy, when you don’t care what happens as long as everybody leaves you alone to mope. Well, that’s nothing compared to what could have happened, I guess. Yeah, we go back a long way, Pete. I remember how we were sitting under that shady tree when we were about twelve years old, sipping that delicious lemonade that one of our mothers made, talking about what we would do with our life. We both figured we knew all the answers to the world’s problems, but then Life happened and here I am, wondering how I got into this mess, and you and Navigator are ready to tour the world trying to recapture your youth and a sense of purpose.

When you phoned, you asked how Josee and I are doing. Josee has left me. One day I came in from my chores and she was standing in the kitchen dressed in her going- to-town outfit and toying with her handbag. This was a sure sign she wasn’t comfortable with what she had to say, but was determined to say it anyway. So, I looked at her and said, Spit it out, Josee. What have you gone and done now? She gave a couple of little gulps and said, Clem, I don’t need you anymore, I’ve found the Lord. She shook her handbag like she was shaking a tambourine at me. I looked at her and said, Josee, honey, what do you mean you found the Lord? I didn’t know you’d lost him. Well, she glared at me like I was some slimy creature just crawled out of a hole.

Don’t you patronize me, Clem, she yelled. When Josee gets riled a bit, she raises her voice about ten decibels above normal. Plus, this time she was nervous too, so she more or less squeaked: I don’t know what your mama was thinking, when she named you after a pope or two, but it sure wasn’t godly. You’re the least godly person I know. Up to that time, Pete, I thought I was doing pretty fair in the godly department, but guess we never see ourselves as others see us. So, I just said, Josee, if that is what you must do then go ahead and do it. I was still thinking it was some temporary resolve because of something I did or didn’t do lately. So, Josee took off to shake her tambourine on the street corner and shout Hallelujah at passers-by and, if it is anything like when I’ve seen them on the corners, that is just what people do most of the time – pass her by. Well, I was in a blue funk, to say the least, and drove to town and dropped into a little bar for a couple of drinks. Just as I started feeling pretty good about myself, the bartender suggested I leave, so I sauntered out to the street and saw this cute little honey coming down the sidewalk. She looked as lonely as I had been feeling, so, thinking I would cheer her up, I approached tentatively because I wasn’t really sure about what I was doing. So, cautiously, I said to her, Hello, darling. How would you like to see my latifundium? You know I’m not one to brag, but I thought I would just stretch the truth a little.

She jumped back real quick like and waved for a police officer who was walking along, keeping an eye on things. He’s a pervert, he’s a pervert, she yelled at the officer, all the time pointing in my direction. At least I think she was pointing in my direction. I squinted at her and saw four fingers sort of waving at me. The officer got her calmed down and then asked what the problem was. She told him what I had said and the officer glared at me balefully, like when you throw a stick for your dog to catch and he just lies there on the grass and opens one eye and glares at you.

Get moving, or I will have you arrested, he said with some force.

Officer, I said, I didn’t do anything wrong. I just asked if she would like to see my latifundium. He looked at me with astonishment. Officer, I said, Do you know what a latifundium is? Obviously, this young lady doesn’t. Well, Pete, I knew the officer didn’t know what a latifundium is either. He looked at me and said I should come with him to the station house because I was drunk and disorderly. Officer, I said. I think I will just get in my car here and go on my way. There seems to have been a huge misunderstanding. I got into my little Ford Escape and started to pull away from the curb when the officer flagged me down and gave me a citation for driving under the influence. He said, If I can’t get you one way, I’ll get you another. Then he had the audacity to grin, real bold-like, not caring what I thought, because he knew he had me by the thumb screws.

Well, Pete, the end result of all this is that I’m confined to my little farm, which I suppose loses something in the translation from latifundium, and I content myself with my hens and cows, and driving my tractor, and philosophizing about life with Mathilda, my favourite cow. I guess I miss Josee more than I knew because I got to talking with my cows and hens now. And most evenings I am even reading the dictionary and other interesting books, so my letters to you may have smatterings of my reading too. Josee and I always liked to travel and, well, I guess I miss the adventures and misadventures we went on, especially when the four of us went together, but I’m getting used to my solo way of life. Or I was until I heard from you.

Haven’t seen or heard anything of Josee since she left me to go and stand on a street corner, and most of the people who come to the farm come for the organic vegetables and eggs and the milk. They aren’t into philosophizing about life or anything else of interest. They want to know whether all the natural produce will keep them youthful and protect them from dying. It’s all I can do to keep from laughing. Wouldn’t do to laugh at a customer, so I just say, Yes, it will. Which, as we all know, good eating habits will keep you healthy and youthful, but we are all going to leave this life. We don’t have a choice in the matter. But, if we don’t leave young, we can choose to be healthy instead of unhealthy while we are here, and that is what I’m trying to promote in my little latifundium. It was sure good to hear from you, Pete. Josee and I often talked about how the four of us were such good friends, and then we drifted apart after Josee and I got away from all that academic stuff and life took us on our separate paths.

Your lost-and-found friend in the barnyard,

Clem

October 15

Dear Clem,

Sorry to hear about your over imbibing. This surprises me as you didn’t drink to excess when we were all hanging out together, even when we faced some real problems. I guess Josee’s decision to go looking for the lord really shook you to your foundations. Especially when the four of us spent hours discussing our different beliefs. You are quite knowledgeable about life. I feel that everyone in the world knows the real truth about this world we’re living in, but most people have been brainwashed