Take Me As I Am

By Erin Lee

Emmy Harrison has been in all the wrong relationships. Her past is nothing she wants to talk about.  She thought she finally got it right when she got involved with Riley Torres, a “nice” guy who was only trying to protect her when he lingered just a little too long. At first, it was cute – the way he checked up on her. She loved how he defended her, even against her sister Abby, who could be a bit of a meddler. He made her feel important when he stayed up waiting for her to return from exam study groups. It was sweet. Until, it wasn’t anymore.

Isolated from friends and family who’d tried to warn her and scared that Riley might try something stupid, Emmy must face the truth about the guy she gave her heart to. Or, maybe she could change him…

All she wanted was a happy ending. Would she need his permission for that too? 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Erin Lee
• Release date: Feb 7, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386506737

Erin Lee

Erin Lee lives in Queensland, Australia and has been working with children for over 25 years. She has worked in both long day care and primary school settings and has a passion for inclusive education and helping all children find joy in learning. Erin has three children of her own and says they have helped contribute ideas and themes towards her quirky writing style. Her experience working in the classroom has motivated her to write books that bring joy to little readers, but also resource educators to help teach fundamental skills to children, such as being safe, respectful learners.

Book preview

Dedications

For Renee, Sarah and Denise:

Rest in Peace.

For their children,

Liza, Lexi, Garret, Morgan, Savannah, Jacob, Lucas and Emily:

May you defy family cycles and live full and happy lives.

For all survivors of partner abuse hoping to find happy endings:  

It can be done. It’s not a guarantee. But I have seen it. The first step is saying no more and asking for help...

Warning:

This book deals with the difficult topics of domestic violence and partner abuse and could trigger some readers.

It also touches on undiagnosed mental health issues of a serious nature.

Reader discretion is advised.

Author’s Note

In my work as a home-based therapist with at-risk families, I witness the impact of domestic violence every day. So far, I have been to three funerals for women under age thirty who were victims of this too common, (one in four women in the United States), often stigmatized situation. 

I can tell you from experience with these clients that domestic violence and partner abuse know no age, social class, race, or gender. It can happen to men or women, to straight couples and to gay couples. It can happen to educated people and respected or well-known in the community folks too. It could be happening in your own family and you don’t even know it, or it could be happening to you and you aren’t ready to ask for help or admit it to yourself. You may even be unsure. This is a huge part of the problem.

Because of the stigma associated with domestic violence and partner abuse, its victims often experience shame, isolation and fear. These feelings are not only of their perpetrator, but of judgement by others as well. In fact, victims may even judge themselves, blaming themselves for being in the situation in the first place. And that’s only if they aren’t in stage one–denial.

When I was asked to write Emma’s story, I did not hesitate to drop the work in progress I had been working on to begin this novella. With a three-week turn around deadline, I knew I had to move fast to help get word out about domestic abuse. (Please forgive any typos in this book due to this. The message was most important, not how the words came out). Any opportunity to help a victim become a survivor is reason enough to pick up or change pens for me. Nothing is as difficult as attending a funeral and feeling like there was something you could have, or should have, done to help a person in trouble. This book is my own attempt to help a person who deserves so much better than what she’s currently signed up for.

Like I said, what happens to Emma in this book can happen to anyone. As you read this story, you may see yourself or a loved one in it. You may see your partner and not want to read further. I encourage you to face those fears and read on anyway. It is only when we face our fears that we can confront our truth and begin to make steps toward change.

I admire you for your bravery in reading Emma’s story. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence in any of its forms, please use the resources in the back of Take Me As I Am and call a trusted friend, family member, domestic abuse advocate, partner abuse support line, the police or a licensed counselor. 

It is not your fault. It is never the victim’s fault.  Speak up and be not only a voice for change, but also the echo. Together, we can raise awareness and hopefully someday get to a place where domestic violence in all its forms is easy to spot and has no shame attached to it; the ultimate goal for a safer community for all.  

Chapter One

Six months earlier . . .

Abby Harrison

He forgot to tell me...

"He forgot? How is that even possible, Emma?" I raked my fingers through my hair and squinted my eyes, even though she couldn’t see me over the phone. Truth was, I hadn’t seen my sister in months. Didn’t she realize how this sounded? She had to. No one forgets to pull out during unprotected sex unless they want a kid. They don’t forget to mention the condom fell off either.

I don’t know. He just did. He was distracted after all.

This doesn’t worry you? Not one bit? I tried to phrase my words correctly, I didn’t want to upset her, but I was losing my temper. I knew the second I said something negative about her beau she’d fight against anything more I had to say. I can’t believe this is happening. There’s no way that this is happening. What the hell is wrong with you? How can you not see what he’s doing to you? How can you not see that he’s taking advantage of you? He’s using you and you don’t see it!

Ever since he came to meet the family eight months ago, I knew something was off about him. This had just proved it for me. And it wasn’t the first time. He used her, constantly, and now he was trying to trap her. Why? ...It could be for the money her father has, but it could also be for a number of other reasons. This was something I could never quite get my head around. All I knew was he was trying to take advantage of her. I was pretty much the only one who seemed to think it. Noah, our younger brother, didn’t seem to notice something was wrong. Only Mom and I knew the truth and Mom was too triggered to want to face it fully. She didn’t want to admit that my sister was repeating a family cycle she had hoped to end so long ago.

Of course it does. But there’s not much I can do about it now. It’s too late for the morning-after pill, and he’d kill me if I even considered abortion. I just have to deal with it.

He’d kill her. I’d kill him... No, no you don’t. He’s trying to trap you. He convinced you that going off birth control would be better for you, but now this happens. He’s trying to trap you. How can you not see that? You can leave and this ends!

It ends. Just like this conversation. I’m done talking to you if you’re going to be like this, Abby. I called you because you’re my sister, and you’re supposed to help me through things like this, not make it worse. I’m not dealing with this. I get that you hate him, but I’m not being in the middle of another fight. Goodbye.

She hung up without giving me a chance to save our conversation. I stared at the phone in my shaking hand; speechless, not that there was anyone to talk to even if I wanted to.  Who is this person? Because she’s not my sister anymore. He’s ruined her. He ruins everything he touches. Why can’t things be like they used to be? Everything was so much better before Riley.  Fucking Tinder; world’s worst invention. Stupid dating app.

***

I’m done. I just can’t take this much longer. I can’t continue to talk to her and hear about how everything is falling to pieces, but it’s not Riley’s fault. There’s nothing I can