To Die For

By Betsy Haynes

Larkin Quinn can't wait until her heart transplant surgery is over so she can awaken to the beautiful and fun life she’s desired. But from the moment she opens her eyes, her world is dominated by terrifying nightmares where she is trapped underwater and blocked from reaching the surface. She wakes up each time screaming and drenched in sweat.

She needs to understand what these dreams mean. Are they messages from her heart donor? She fears he is demanding his life back in exchange for hers and wants revenge. Even more frustrating is that no one believes her about the nightmares. Why won't anyone, not even her boyfriend Paul, help her? Larkin has to figure out what is going on with her new heart before it kills her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Evernight Teen
• Release date: Jan 2, 2017
• ISBN: 9781773390857

Betsy Haynes

I've been an author most of my life. I've published 79 books, one of which was made into a Saturday morning tv series, another made into a Saturday evening tv movie. I currently teach jubenile writing for UCLA on line.

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Published by Evernight Teen ® at Smashwords

www.evernightteen.com

Copyright© 2016 Betsy Haynes

ISBN: 978-1-77339-085-7

Cover Artist: Jay Aheer

Editor: Melissa Hosack

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

TO DIE FOR

Betsy Haynes

Copyright © 2016

Chapter One

I woke up in eerie darkness, with only faint points of light flickering around me. Red. Blue. Lots of blue. There were weird sounds, too. Soft taps and clicks and faint bubbling noises.

Where am I? I was in too much of a fog to have a clue.

Dead, maybe. But was that my name?

Larkin? Larkin Quinn? Wake up now. It’s all over.

I blinked a couple of times as my eyes focused. A soft white light and a blurry face hung over my head like a smiley moon.

It’s about time you opened your eyes, you sleepy head. The woman’s voice softened. Welcome back, honey.

She sounded kind, and I tried to smile back at her. That was when I realized a large, rough tube was crammed down my throat, and I felt the IV lines connecting to my arms. I tilted my head to see what was causing the sharp spots of pain in my chest. They were lines hooking me to machines that were monitoring every conceivable function of my body. Now I remembered. I was in Intensive Care. Thank God the surgery’s over!

Gently, the nurse touched my face, sweeping back a strand of hair. I’ll send word to your mom that you’re awake, she said.

Mom. The word sounded like heaven. I followed the nurse anxiously with my eyes as she went to a desk near the door and spoke softly into a telephone. She was a chubby woman in white pants and a pale green top. I tried to listen to what she was saying, but suddenly I remembered why I was here, and I was terrified all over again. Was there really a new heart beating inside my chest? A stranger’s heart that hadn’t been there before? The nurse hadn’t said so! Or had something gone horribly wrong with the transplant? Maybe they had tried, but it hadn’t worked. Maybe they had put my sick-o heart back in and sewed me up. The same tired old heart that had kept me alive for all seventeen years of my life but could only beat a little while longer before it copped out on me. Sure, I had heard of heart pumps, but they didn’t work for everybody, and even when they did, they didn’t last forever. Maybe I was never going to have the normal life I so desperately wanted. Never.

Calm down! I screamed inside my head. WWPD? I added quickly. It almost worked. Almost. WWPD was my little joke. What would Paul do? Paul Bishop was not only my best friend but the guy I loved more than anyone else in the world. He was also unbelievably calm. I’d give anything to be like him.

Still, I tried to raise my head and shout around the breathing tube. All it did was hurt my throat. Next, I tried to raise my hands, but straps pinned them to the bed.

The nurse’s back was still toward me. Why won’t she look at me? Is there something she’s afraid to tell me?

Questions flashed through my mind like bolts of lightning, ratcheting up my panic. I stared at her back, desperately trying to bore holes into it, screaming in my head for her to turn around. Finally she did.

Oh, Larkin? Are you okay? she asked, a frightened look on her face. She grabbed a pad of paper off her desk and rushed over to me, fumbling with the ties that pinned my arms to the sides of the bed. Here, write on this!

My hands were shaking as I took the paper and pencil. HEART! NEW ONE? I scrawled.

Oh my, yes! she said, smiling and shaking her head. "For some reason, I just thought you’d know. Don’t worry, sweetie. The surgery went great! You have a brand new heart. Look up at the monitor and watch it beating. She pointed to one of the machines on the right side of the bed near my head that had a line galloping and blipping across the screen. Isn’t it fantastic?"

The tension drained out of my body, and darkness floated in on me again, sending me swirling through galaxies of red, white, and blue stars and into sweet oblivion.

Suddenly, I felt my feet fly out from under me. I was falling headlong through water, kicking and fighting with all my strength. My lungs were bursting. I jerked my head upright and panicked. A streaking pain exploded in my brain. I tried to scream, but all I could do was gurgle a stream of crimson bubbles. Then, something touched my arm, and my nightmare ended.

An unexpected feeling of relief, sweeter than I remembered having ever in my life, washed over me. I murmured, Paul? Is that you? Oh, say yes.

When I opened my eyes again, it wasn’t Paul. Mom was standing beside my bed, dressed in disinfectant hospital garb from head to toe. Above her mask I could see the horrified look in her eyes. I couldn’t have felt more ashamed. Mom and I had been alone together almost always. Taking care of each other. Depending on each other. She reminded me constantly of what I meant to her, and who had I asked for when I woke up from surgery? Paul.

I hadn’t meant to do that. But how could I possibly explain it to her?

Mom forgot the green cap she was wearing and tried to rake her fingers through her short, sun-bleached blond hair. Catching herself, she sighed and rolled her head from side to side to relieve the tension in her neck.

Then, desperately trying to compose herself, she sucked in her breath and whispered in a voice she was obviously trying to make sound joyful but sounded more like pure panic to me. Larkin! I’m so glad you’re awake again. Honey, you’re going to be fine! And I brought you a ginormous get well banner, signed by every single senior in the Fort Myers High School. But we can’t bring it in until you’re out of intensive care and in a regular room. She smiled down at me, tears of relief and gratitude trickling down her cheeks. Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it tightly.

I squeezed back to let her know I understood and that everything was okay. There was something I wanted to tell her. Was it how guilty I felt for asking for Paul? I couldn’t remember. I was getting sleepy again. The darkness came rolling back, and I drifted away.

I was in the water, just like before. Only this time the movement of the waves was rougher. I was being sucked toward something huge and black above my head. I tried to back-pedal, but the current was too strong. Sudden pain filled my brain like wildfire. Red bubbles streamed past my face, but nothing touched my arm to wake me up this time. I was trapped. Under water. Alone. But why me? It felt so real, so terrifying, but I couldn’t be under water. I had never been under water in my entire life! And when I finally woke up, I was screaming my head off.

Chapter Two

Only no sound was coming out. I was drowning in sweat. Drops rolled out of my hair and down my face. My gown stuck to my wet body. But worst of all, crushing pain seemed to split my head open. What had happened to me? In a second, I knew. A dream. A hallucination. One or the other. So real that I was shaking all over. But why?

I wrapped my arms around my body and rocked gently until my pulse slowed and the pain in my head gradually faded away. Exhausted, I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

The tube in my throat and the hand restraints were removed that same day. And for the next couple of days, I slept more than I was awake. It must have been my meds doing their job. Those weird dreams didn’t return when I was asleep, but they sure haunted me when I was awake. It was scary. Especially since I never had nightmares.

You finally awake? asked Tobi, my daytime ICU nurse, coming into my room.

I nodded, still in a stupor.

Well, don’t worry. All that sleep lets the body get used to the shock of being split open and having your heart replaced.

She gave me a big grin along with her explanation. She was the one who had been with me when I woke up from surgery, and she was fast becoming my guardian angel with her soft, comfortable voice, and constant smile.

I had the weirdest dream, I said. Actually I had it twice. It scared the living crap out of me and seemed totally real. I can’t get it out of my mind.

A frown crossed Tobi’s face. Want to tell me about it?

I hesitated before saying, I guess so. I hated even thinking about it, but it wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to tell it to someone.

It’s like I’m being sucked down into deep water, and I don’t have any air. I try to go back up, to get some oxygen, but suddenly there’s a humongous pain in my head. I try to scream, but all that comes out are red bubbles floating toward the surface … and then it ends. Why does it keep coming back? Why won’t it go away?

"Well … maybe you’re remembering something that happened to you a long time ago that really scared you. You were scared before the surgery weren’t you? Maybe your mind is having the