100 Minutes of Grace
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About this ebook
100 Minutes of grace is the personal journey of a mother that has lost her daughter un-expectantly in a bike accident. With no time to say goodbye, she was left with the pain, shock and unbelief of death. This is her journey she has walked bravely to overcome this tragic happening, to learn to adjust and start living this new type of life. When my daughter passed away I needed help from somebody that had walked the road personally. Much of the reading material available today is written by pastors that have studied counseling, but have not been at their own child’s death bed or grave. I needed to understand the deeper emotions and feelings from somebody that was in the same situation as me. It was never my intention to write a book, I just started writing as it was the natural thing for me to do to cope at that stage, and to see the progress I made from month to month was very inspiring, even to myself. Today I believe that this story of my personal journey will inspire others in the same or similar situation to seek God, take action and build a new type of life where peace, love, joy and happiness can be experienced again. It is possible! Even after your own child’s death. I did.
Karen Coomber
100 Minutes of Grace is the author's personal journey of how she lost her daughter in a motorbike accident and how she overcome this tragedy. Pastor At Boshoff wrote the foreword.”In this book, 100 Minutes of Grace, Karen Coomber helps us to treasure fond memories of our loved one, to work through our sorrow and deal with the pain caused by such a loss, by allowing God to comfort us through the inner working of His grace in our time of mourning! She also encourages us to look for signs of God's goodness, even in the darkest hour of our lives, and to allow God's healing process to take place in these most difficult times! Her unwavering belief in God's faithfulness, as she interceded for her daughter's soul in those 100 minutes of grace, demonstrates the power of prayer and the power of love. I believe this book will be an inspiration to you and will help you to, practically, turn your weeping into joy again and your winter season into summer!”
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100 Minutes of Grace - Karen Coomber
Chapter One
The start of my new life
butterfly_leftThe day – 27 May 2011
It was really such a special day for me. I had set some time apart to be with my friend, Helen, at a beauty spa away from the city… a quiet and peaceful place in nature, just to be pampered. It was the same spa I had taken Lavon to for her 21st birthday three years before. On her birthday we had received white gowns on arrival, but my friend and I received black gowns that day.
We spoke about the good things that had happened to us in the months leading up to that day: How God had restored the relationships with our children, after we had prayed for restoration and better relationships with our grownup children for so long. It was such a blessed time and we drove home late that afternoon in very high spirits.
Once I arrived home, I noticed that our electricity was still out after the cables had been stolen. It was the second day without electricity and it was getting extremely cold. We decided to go to bed early.
My cell phone battery was flat, but against all odds it rang at 21:00 that evening…
My husband, Vernon, answered the call. It was Lavon’s friend who called to tell us that Lavon had been in an accident with her motorbike and that we had to come to the scene immediately.
I grabbed warm clothes, a long jacket and my cell phone charger in the darkness. The accident had happened only a few kilometres from our home. The moment we came over the slight hill, I could not believe my eyes as the entire road was full of lights, cars and people. I remember saying to Vernon: This cannot be, it just cannot be!
It looked like an accident scene from a movie!
He parked next to the road and we ran closer, my eyes were scanning for my child’s motorbike or my child. In passing I noticed an ambulance standing with its back doors wide open and I thought Whoever is in there, it is definitely not looking good
.
I saw a small white car parked on the other side of the road that was dented at the back and the entire intersection was filled with parts and pieces of my child’s red motorbike. There were paramedics, police and other people all over the scene. A paramedic lady came to me and asked if I was the mother. She explained that my daughter was in that ambulance and that we needed to get to Unitas hospital as quickly as we could. At that very moment the ambulance doors slammed closed and it pulled away with a great speed.
While all of this was happening, Vernon spoke to a paramedic to ask how bad it was and his response was I have arranged for a chaplain to meet you at the hospital
. He only told me about that the next morning.
While we raced to the hospital, I phoned my family, her father and my friend who I had been to the spa with that day. Vernon called somebody at our CMA biker’s club and asked for prayers.
On arrival at the hospital, they immediately took us to the emergency area. A nurse with blonde hair took me firmly by my arm, looked me straight in my eyes and said What you are going to see will not be nice, but you need to know and see that we are doing all we can for your daughter.
She took us into the emergency room where several people were working around a silver table with a patient on it. And then I saw that it was my child lying there, with pipes in her mouth and medical equipment that flashed and screamed. She was naked and her body was very, very white. Vernon told me later that he thought she had white stockings on, but then he realised it was her body colour.
I did not see any blood or injuries on her body. Her heart was not beating and the monitor only had one solid straight line. A doctor was busy with a defibrillator, trying to get her heart to beat again. With every shock, her body jumped several centimetres into the air. It felt so unreal, just like a movie scene, the only difference was that I was a part of it.
My first thought was Lord, please take any pain away from her
, but then I realised that there was no pain, her body was dead, there was no heartbeat.
I stood peacefully with my back against the wall and I knew that something needed to happen in the spiritual dimension. My child was not saved and she needed Jesus Christ in order to have eternal life. Vernon moved out of the room to stand in the passage.
Everything felt so chaotic… I saw her white body, lying so still, but where was her spirit, Jesus and the Holy Spirit? Somewhere they needed to come together, but my brain could not think. I prayed and stood in the gap for her… I interceded and pleaded for my child’s life, her life to be saved, her eternal life…
Suddenly there were lights that came on, there was a heartbeat!
The doctor spoke continuously Left eye pupil – no reaction, right eye pupil – no reaction, body temperature 32 degrees, heartbeat slowing.
Every person in the room knew exactly what to do next, they were a trained team working together. One of the nurses came to me and asked Are you still standing here?
I answered Yes, you do not understand, my child is not saved yet.
I stood with my back against the white wall and prayed in my spiritual language… I pleaded for my child to be saved. I knew something supernatural needed to take place in the spiritual world, she needed to come to Jesus, because there is no other way to heaven and eternal life. I prayed and prayed.
After a while the same nurse came to me and said they had managed to stabilise her and that the doctor wanted to speak to us. They took us to another room and gave me very sweet tea. Her father and my son had also arrived in the meantime and we signed some documents. The young doctor explained to us that Lavon had internal bleeding and that they would have to operate to stop the bleeding. While the doctor was still talking to us, they called him to the emergency room again and he ran back. The same blonde nurse asked us to immediately come to the room again.
When I entered the room again, she had no heartbeat and another doctor was doing CPR on her. Her father also entered the room for the first time, but just walked out again… quietly. I was standing in the same place, praying and praying. There were more medical people in the room, but still no heartbeat. I looked to the right and saw Vernon just standing there, praying. Suddenly I could not understand anything and my mind seemed like a blank. I asked myself how things concerning God and His salvation worked. I cried out: Jesus, Jesus, are you here?
I just saw the straight line on the glaring monitor…
Another nurse suddenly looked right at me from the left side of the room and said Mother, just keep on praying
.
And then suddenly her heart began to beat again… I looked towards Vernon and tears were just running down his face.
I asked the nurse if they could tell her that I was there with her and if she even knew what was happening around her.
Her answer was Mother, your daughter knows nothing
. Again, I prayed and prayed for grace, salvation, Jesus, love and peace. I am sure the Holy Spirit knew what I needed to pray as I could not think straight. My head felt empty, but yet I was very calm.
Suddenly the nurse was with me again, she took my right hand and placed Lavon’s jewellery in my hand and folded it closed… While she was still holding my hand, she pulled me sideways and said Come, we need to get to the emergency theatre as the doctor needs to operate now.
We ran up to the first floor and the nurse told me to sit in front of the double doors going into the theatre. The lift’s doors opened and there was my daughter, on a silver trolley with drips swinging as they were running with her. There were several people around the trolley and as they were coming closer, I saw that her heart must have stopped again as the doctor was doing manual CPR on her again. They ran through the double doors and rushed into the theatre. Other personnel also ran in and then the doors closed just as suddenly as they had opened.
I saw a lot of bikers in the passage, but I did not know all of them. Friends from our CMA club had also arrived and were standing around. A policeman came to me and asked me if I had Lavon’s driver’s licence. At some point during the evening I was handed Lavon’s backpack and I scratched around in her bag to find her purse with her license. During all of this my mind kept praying… It felt like I was two different people – one seeing everything, as if in a movie and I did not know where the other me was… somewhere praying in the spirit.
At that moment I thought of my friend, Jessie. She was bitten by a very venomous snake a few years before and although the medical personnel thought that she had died, she heard the voice of the Lord very clearly and she even had a short conversation with Him. She was not aware of any physical pain or discomfort, only the Lord’s greatness and love. This made me think that even if Lavon looked dead, she could also be having a spiritual conversation with God. (See Jessie’s letter to me at end of this chapter.)
It was quiet, very quiet as I sat waiting on the bench. The next moment Vernon received a phone call and he walked down the passage. For some strange reason I was alone on the bench when the double doors suddenly opened and I saw the doctor walking towards me. It felt like a moment out of a movie when the doctor said Are you the young lady’s mother? I am so very sorry, but we did all we could and there was nothing more we could do for your daughter, she has just passed away.
The blonde nurse approached me again and asked if I wanted to say goodbye to my child. No, I would like to pray for her
, I answered. I couldn’t come close to or touch her to pray for her the entire time they were fighting to save her life. I just wanted to be close to my child and I wanted to pray for her.
We entered the theatre and I saw my child lying under a light blue sheet, still with all the pipes in her mouth. I placed my hand on her chest and prayed for her. I cannot remember exactly what I prayed, but I do know that I said to God Lord, I do not understand, but I still love You
.
In the midst of all that, I had so much peace. This was death, this was what death looked like… There, in front of my eyes, was snow-white death. My child had