Hey Folks, It’s All Just A $ales Pitch

By Dave Garland III

This book can serve as a simple guidebook to help restructure belief-based realities back into reality-based beliefs. It will show you how to gain the awareness necessary to take control of your life and even direct the lives of others. You will come to understand that we are almost totally influenced by our desire to seek comfort and how we buy into the sales pitches presented to us in all aspects of our lives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dave Garland III
• Release date: Nov 10, 2016
• ISBN: 9781540138576

Dave Garland III

It wasn’t until after obtaining a business degree in marketing that Dave gained most of his unique, and experiential, understanding of the principles involved in human manipulation and motivation. His distinctive perspective and insight into the realm of sales pitching is based in his empirical study and real world involvement. In addition to his former position as sales manager of a national shipping and distribution company, Dave’s experience runs the gamut from owner of a nationally distributed greeting card company, to a successful real estate investor and custom homebuilder, to sculptor, screenwriter and author. He presents his far-reaching knowledge and understanding in the context of how extensively and inclusively sales pitches permeate each and every aspect of our lives.

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Dave T. Garland III

Copyright 2016 by Dave T. Garland III.

The book author retains sole copyright to

his contributions to this book.

Published 2016.

Printed in the United States of America.

All rights reserved.

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No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other – except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the author.

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ISBN 978-1-943650-36-1 (Print version)

Published by BookCrafters,

Parker, Colorado.

[e-mail]

This book may be ordered from

www.bookcrafters.net

and other online bookstores.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SECTION ONE

Being Trained To Believe

{Introductory Sales Pitch Education}

Chapter One

In The Beginning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Two

The End Of IT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Three

The Real Cool School Fool . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Four

Oh Grow Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SECTION TWO

Replacing Reality & Facts With Opinions & Beliefs

{The Paradigms of Sales Pitching}

Chapter Five

Reality vs. Perception / Truth vs. Belief . . . . . .

Chapter Six

The Primal Forces Of Nature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Seven

The Herd Mentality . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SECTION THREE

The Pitch Masters

{Who, What, Why, How And When To Believe}

Chapter Eight

The Want Fulfilling Marketplace . . .  . . .  . . . . .

Chapter Nine

Religion vs. God . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Ten

Politics And The Law. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SECTION FOUR

The Warping, Twisting And Perverting

Of Perceptions and Beliefs

(Born To Be Deceived)

Chapter Eleven

Self-Pitching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Twelve 

The Magician’s Tent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Thirteen

Using Your Brain Without Losing Your Mind . . . . 

A Few Random Universal Maxims For

Human Life On Earth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

INTRODUCTION

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This book can serve as a simple guidebook to help restructure belief-based realities back into reality-based beliefs. Or better yet, it can simply serve as a debunker book. You know, to debunk some of de bunk that seems to proliferate and dominate our lives. Only by initiating or reestablishing objective observational awareness can the mind maintain an unbiased and analytical thought process and ultimately restore our personal sanity, {Or at least our self-respect}.

Just kidding. This book really just illustrates how sales pitches permeate, influence and direct our lives from the moment we’re born until the day we die. And, as the evidence will show, sales pitches are truly the origin of all mankind’s opinions and beliefs.

Could Abraham Lincoln really have been right? Can all of the people really be fooled some of the time? Can some of the people really be fooled all of the time? Or is there a possibility that all of the people can be fooled all of the time? Either way, manipulative persuasion is definitely the name of the game. And the game is based on the reality that every human being eventually believes something. The daunting question is; where did all of this something come from? This book is for all whose brains have not yet completely matured, or manured, into the totally biased closed mindedness of self-absorbed adulthood. For those who have, this will hopefully serve as a tool that can un-mature and un-manure your brain.

What follows is an attempt to expose and examine the massive impact that sales pitching and being sales pitched has on individuals, groups, nations and ultimately, all of humanity. Why? Because sales pitches are, without a doubt, the source, the foundation, the structure and the actual cause of mankind’s cumulative B.S.

Most of what we know, or think we know, about reality originates pretty much from whatever we’ve absorbed through our five senses. Everything else we know came from sales pitches. When applying mental thought processes to the combination of our sensory inputs and all of the sales pitches, a whole bunch of opinions and beliefs begin to coalesce. We all suffer, to some degree, from tightly held delusions brought about by our mental consumptions of other people’s mental excretions.

Because human beings are creatures of comfort, we tend to believe or accept as truth whatever is comfortable to accept, and conversely we doubt or reject most of the information and beliefs that are uncomfortable. If you doubt this assertion then I apologize for your discomfort. Nevertheless, the old adage, People believe only what they want to believe is based both in truth and in human nature. After all, who would really maintain beliefs that, to them, are decidedly unbelievable? Unbelievable beliefs are extremely uncomfortable for anyone to believe. There are, I suppose, masochistic believers. I assume that these are the ones who perpetually believe their own doubts and then doubt their own beliefs.

One of the primary intentions of this marginally eloquent literary expedition is to expose, or at least identify, the role that manipulation plays in the fabrication and solidification of our deepest and most strongly held opinions and beliefs. My contention is that our beliefs are both a result of and a guiding force behind most of our mental comforts and discomforts. What really validates a belief? Hopefully pursuing the answer to this question will shed at least some light on why our beliefs and doubts become so dear to us that we protect and defend them as entrenched facts, truths and realities.

What role does the sales pitch play in the makeup of the beliefs, viewpoints and values that we hold to be so sacred and irrefutable? And to what extent are these beliefs, viewpoints and values a true reflection of who we are? To discover how we evolved into this bastion of beliefs and opinions we must go back to the very beginning. Really now, you don’t seriously believe that you dreamed up all of your beliefs on your own, do you? Don’t be silly; nobody is both that gifted and that egotistical, I hope.

The foundation that most of human exploitation is built on can be traced back to infancy. As you will see, the origin of life’s voyage through the rolling waves of manipulation begins almost immediately with newborn sales pitch training, which, as it turns out, is also the source of most of life’s baggage. What follows this initiation is a lifelong progression of sales pitch indoctrination.

I can tell already that you are somewhat skeptical. So we’ll start at the very beginning and, hopefully, trace our enduring sales pitch dependence from its very source.

SECTION ONE

Being Trained To Believe

{Introductory Sales Pitch Education}

CHAPTER ONE

— In The Beginning —

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Infantile Logic

Labor. Is this any way to begin a glorious human life? Labor. The word itself embodies so many negative connotations. In order to give birth, women must have labor pains and go into labor. When go into and pains are added to labor, a word with synonyms like work, toil and effort, how can it be a pleasant experience for either the mother or the newborn? The general response most newborns give is an irritating bellow of agony. It’s almost an extension of the ear numbing, delivery room mommy screams that even the loudest rock star would envy. From the newborn’s perspective the situation is little more than an unexpected, and unwelcome, coming out party that interrupts the comfort of a warm and cozy, albeit cramped, fetal condo. To most adults it’s a slightly more complicated process. Adults see this as a procedure that is wrapped in moral and ethical issues, sexual value judgments and, of course, the mystery of a father’s inability to maintain any degree of cool in the delivery room. I certainly didn’t.

Regardless of this ubiquitous pathway into existence, IT (the newborn) successfully endures this rude awakening and once again another celebrated life begins.

Birth: when you and I, and all of the other he’s and she’s, first appear as nothing more than little ITs. So, henceforth, every cute, cuddly, chubby cheeked little know nothing newborn will be referred to as IT (at least until IT has matured enough to deserve a less demeaning moniker).

This innocent little babe has been callously dragged, kicking and screaming into a strange new realm only to be further assaulted by a disquieting flurry of bright lights, irritating commotion and obnoxious noise. But these minor inconveniences are not in vane because the world is once again blessed with yet another miniature bundle of human potential. In most cases there are others around: doctors, nurses, and a mother to be sure. But this new addition to the population doesn’t know these people. Doesn’t really even know they are people. Yep, as far as IT is concerned, this first worldly experience is just an unfamiliar and uncomfortable cluster of pulling, poking and wiping.

This is indeed an exposure to a very strange and confusing hostile environment. Yet, even with the perpetual bombardment of new sensations, newborns get over it pretty quickly. Most are cool with the whole scene primarily because they don’t know squat, not yet at least. Squat (n.  Do-do, Pooh-pooh). This is not to be confused with crap—that’s something completely different and is abundantly supplied by other people in due course. This squat is one of the very first sales pitch lessons in what will eventually be a lifetime filled with other crappy sales pitches. Making squat, along with peeing, sucking and crying, become a force that enables this miniature human being to completely control the actions of even the most intelligent and experienced adult.

This diminutive Churchill lookalike emerges into the world without any expectations. There are no visions of grandeur, no fantasies of success or majestic goals to pursue, or worthwhile employment opportunities for that matter. The concept of a future itself is non-existent. We’re talking clean slate here. Having been abruptly severed from a modest life support cord, this wee little creature is forced to successfully engage a self-contained breathing apparatus without the assistance of an instruction manual. Mother Nature has generously provided almost every child with this instinctual function. Mother Nature? That’s right, two mothers for each kid. These two mothers, along with the attending support team, generously and enthusiastically supply most of life’s basic little necessities. The kid does the rest; suck in some sustenance, process, poop, pee and puke. Pretty complicated stuff scientifically, but not really any big deal to a newborn. That is, as long as there is always something life sustaining to suck on. The reality is that newborns are completely dependent on the boobs they are faced with. As circumstance would have it, this dependency will exist in one form or another all throughout life.

We all start out in relatively the same way, as unsuspecting, wrinkled little putzes. The lifelong struggle for control begins about here. And it begins with magic, or at least the illusion of magic. While physiologically impossible there is a phenomenon that has existed throughout the history of mankind: i.e., almost every clueless little infant comes equipped with the ability to wrap a full grown adult around its little finger. This is so cool, when I cry I get food and when I cry again they clean up all of that smelly squat stuff. (That was baby thoughts not real quotes. But wouldn’t it be great if we had been able to verbalize our newborn thoughts with an adult vocabulary?)

To the kid this is wonderful, total dependence yet total control. Residing now in a perfect world of delusional self-absorption, what else in life could this bundle of joy possibly need? But hey, this sense of control isn’t the kid’s fault. It is obviously the adult’s doing. Aren’t they the ones who train themselves to do whatever the kid wants? Who’s subservient now? Hapless parents can’t figure out why the little brat is becoming so relentlessly demanding. Wow, what an ironic cause-effect paradox. Parents actually show IT how to push their buttons and then get frustrated with those constant annoying cries for attention. Either that, or all babies are born with a sadistic sense of humor that motivates them to intentionally interrupt the parent’s quiet slumber at all hours of the night.

This control conditioning is the first, parent sponsored, Newborn Sales Pitch Training course. More specifically, Getting what you want by manipulation —101. This is a perfect testing environment for the kid because it involves the ultimate captive audience. This little bundle of demand has a brain that is rapidly developing and these courses in getting are life’s initial mental steps down life’s bumpy sales pitch road. This sales pitch training is the key to keeping others occupied with satisfying every personal want and need. It is the beginning of a quest for life’s true purpose, i.e. to maintain an everlasting state of pleasure while completely avoiding any possibility of pain or discomfort. Better known as getting everything you want while never giving up anything—one of the principal purposes of most sales pitches. You have probably heard this misguidedly referred to as happiness. At least this is generally what most of us were pitched as happiness early in life. In a slightly more advanced elementary sales pitching class, IT will eventually learn to cultivate and hone the skills necessary to not only manipulate but to direct, influence and ultimately control for its own selfish purpose. The only obstacle will be an unavoidable human predisposition to fall for the sales pitches of OTHERS. And, as sure as IT will soon become responsible for dealing with its own squat, IT will inevitably succumb to other people’s sales pitch crap.

Sales pitches take on many forms in early life. They run from the sincere, helpful and supportive to the ruthless, maniacal and, of course, deceptive. To be sure, Sales pitches from these OTHERS will be forceful, enticing, relentless and, to a large degree, overwhelming. This is the crap referred to earlier that will ultimately produce most of life’s trials and tribulations.  

But the only thing that really matters at this point is to be properly attended to. Therein lies the sustenance based needs that no one can live without. And so, as with all newborns, IT sucks. Yes, IT sucks—therefore IT lives. Once again, a reference to the boobs everyone is faced with in order to survive.

Several days pass and these fundamental techniques of survival slowly mature into the elementary pain avoidance and pleasure/gratification attainment techniques. God, when I don’t suck for a long time I am really uncomfortable, and this squat stuff is even starting to offend me.

Initial up-bringers, through their loving concern and inability to cope with the little rascal's relentless and boisterous demands, are almost eager to give in to these not so subtle control techniques. Now, like they say, what goes around comes around. There soon comes a time when the infantile pitching process is rudely countermanded by an adult counter pitch. The earliest experience in being counter pitched is most often provided by the folks (or up-bringers). These up-bringers are equipped with their own not so delicate manipulation weapons, not the least of which is deprivation.

The use of the word NO becomes one of the most hated, and sometimes feared, tactics that any of us ever encounter. The NO response increasingly subjects all tots to a brutal denial of expected comforts. Of course this leads to a rebellion that results in blood curdling high-pitched frequencies that are in total disproportion to the tiny lungs that produced them. This is what infants consider an effective and perfectly reasonable sales pitch response. This reaction is justifiable because, to IT, NO is a totally unfair and unjust tactic. After all, these are the same people that set the rules that IT would never be denied.

How could they do this to me and why are they hassling me with this crap? They are the ones who taught me that I’m in control and I get what I want when I want it. This is where no is a device of seeming torture. It is employed gradually and harmlessly enough at first. The more forceful and frequent the demands are, the more intense the deprivation. But hey, not to worry, it gets even worse.

This deteriorating sense of control slowly evolves into an unthinkable reality. What follows is vigorous and relentless subservience training. This new reality becomes more invasive with each passing day. IT gets what IT wants gradually evolves into IT only gets what THEY want. Oh what cruelty must a helpless tike endure? The cruelty that tikes must endure is known as discipline. It’s a good thing infants are small. If they possessed any effective degree of strength, their initial reactions to most forms of discipline would be to tear the house apart. It’s bad enough that they employ tantrums. I believe that this is where an old term for parenting originated. Over the years this term evolved from child rear-ing to child rearing, where rear-ing meant a good old whack in the fanny. Many people today even find the term discipline offensive or invasive. Maybe they weren’t properly reared.

Okay, exactly what has gone on here? Well, the fact is, this child is being indoctrinated to a conditioned response. IT in turn will instill many conditioned responses in Ma, Pa, Aunty Nell and of course the clueless baby sitter. This is the essence of early infant sales pitching. During this early development of a child’s brain the synapses and neurotransmitter activity begins to form behavioral patterns. These behavioral patterns become almost totally focused on manipulation of others in order to satisfy the insatiable cravings for both necessities and comforts. The employment of these conditioned response patterns is the very foundation of what we all know as manipulation. Having children of my own, I referred to this manipulation as a parent trap. Later in life, many grow out of this condition of responding to the conditioning of their conditioned responses—or so I’ve heard. I’m pretty sure my kids still haven’t fully divested themselves of this form of manipulation. With apologies, I, being a typical father, can attest to the extraordinary energy and effort my wife put into repairing all of the spoiled child character flaws I implanted into our poor impressionable children. I still feel like I was duped into doing it. I did give into their sales pitches sometimes, well maybe most of the time. Okay, okay, almost every time.

Another World

Even while the torture of becoming both dependent and acquiescent is manifesting itself, another unexpected life changing day shatters this self-centered realm. It is that day when IT is confronted with a horror so great that life itself will be forever affected. Oh my God, my parents and I aren’t the only ones in the world. These are the OTHERS that creep into IT’s world almost without warning. Whoa, wait a second now. Who were these freaky coochy cooers? Or, worse yet, Who or what is that other IT?" Well, these are the ubiquitous babbling aliens and the annoying little attention stealers.

One of the earliest exhibitions of the threat response is when IT is eventually left alone with one or more of these blithering idiots. In pre-speech infant lingo the typical reaction is, My life source has abandoned me! or Quick, give me something to suck on. What does any of this have to do with sales pitches? Well, from now on and for the rest of IT’s life, IT will be at the mercy of, or at least dependent on, both the humanity and inhumanity of these OTHERS. The resulting certainty is that OTHERS will eventually want to manipulate IT into doing, thinking or believing what they want. Sorry kid, from now on it’s nothing but a brutal and unyielding world of human sales pitch manipulation.

We have all been there. Our circumstances may be varied but the results were the same. In time we all either reluctantly grew accustom to the annoying influence of these bozos or we futilely rebelled and physically resisted.

Fortunately, out of sheer self-preservation, IT begins to cultivate a slightly more advanced or sophisticated set of