Bedtime Stories for Dogs
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About this ebook
The tales in Bedtime Stories for Dogs are written just the way dogs like things—they're short and simple, they have happy endings, they usually involve food, and they frequently refer to things that smell really awful.
Each one of these stories was proofed (and woofed) by the author's two wiener dogs: "If they didn't give a story two paws up and two tails wagging, it was back to the drawing board," she says. This is the perfect treat for anyone:
*Whose dog has control of the remote (and flips when watching dog food commercials)
*Whose dog occasionally allows him to sleep in the bed (but only if he doesn't hog the covers!)
*Who doesn't even notice the dog hairs in their food
*Who carries their dog when he gets winded
Anyone who has a canine companion will want this charming book. It's a bow-wow bedtime bible!
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Book preview
Bedtime Stories for Dogs - Leigh Anne Jasheway
CONTENTS
Introduction
STORIES
The Three Little Pugs
Hans and Greta
Jackie and the Beanpole
Goldilocks and the Three Cats
Red, Riding to the Dog Show
Snow White and the Seven Chihuahuas
CinderDane
Princess and Peabody
Angel Dogs
NURSERY RHYMES
Peter, Peter
Little Miss Muffin
Humpty Dumpty
Jack and Jill
Three Small Dogs
Hickory Dickory Dog
INTRODUCTION
If you’re reading this book, you are undoubtedly the proud parent of dog children. It’s not that you treat your dogs like children—they are your children, just as much as any human youngsters who may or may not live in your house, ruin your furniture, and run up your food bill.
And, as parents of dog children, you’re probably pretty fed up with the way your kids are discriminated against—they can’t eat in restaurants, aren’t allowed in the grocery store without a service dog vest, can’t even sit quietly and watch a movie. For me, the worst was when I realized there were no bedtime stories for my babies. I was outraged! We all know how important reading is to kids. How can I expect my babies to grow up and get jobs when all they have for entertainment are reruns of Scooby Doo?
As I was writing this book, I kept several things in mind. Like the fact that dogs:
• prefer things short and simple (their lives are complicated enough)
• like happy endings
• prefer stories that involve food
• are really smart and enjoy stories that require them to exercise their superior intellect
• have excellent senses of humor
• like things that smell really awful.
Well, except for the latter, I have tried to make sure that Bedtime Stories for Dogs meets these criteria. Every one of these stories was proofed (and woofed) by my three wiener dogs. If they didn’t give a story six paws up and three tails wagging, it was back to the drawing board.
Bedtime Stories for Dogs is for you if:
• Your dog has his or her own sleep number on the bed.
• Your hound has control of the remote (and flips through watching dog-food commercials).
• Your last vacation was a tour of the great fire hydrants of Europe.
• Your dog has his/her own wardrobe, which rivals anything you have in the closet (and the jewelry, oh, the jewelry!).
• You carry your dog when he/she gets winded.
• You don’t even notice the dog hairs in your food.
• Your dog has health- and life-insurance policies (Dogressive).
• You fill the toilet bowl with flavored vitamin water.
• You have a special shelf in the bathroom for doggie toiletries (shampoo, toothpaste, bath oil, canine hygiene products . . .).
• Your dog’s Twitter account has more followers than yours.
So, sit back and relax. Get a bowl of water and some organic, free-range, gluten-free, peanut butter treats. And enjoy!