Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond

By Lee Harrington

Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond explores the sacred roots of kink tools, and the ways kink can be used today for sacred workings. Explore and find practical tools involving negotiation, communication, and aftercare for sacred kink; ritual play spaces; developing rituals for dominance and submission; and erotic shapeshifting and possession workings. Whether one is a seasoned explorer or has never delved into the depths of adventurous sex and personal truth, this book serves as an invitation to journey on down the path of sacred kink. A rich source of inspiration for those exploring both an authentic sexual and spiritual path.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mystic Productions Press
• Release date: Apr 1, 2016
• ISBN: 9781942733935

Book preview

Author

Chapter 1

Exploring the Eightfold Paths

Accident, Tool or Truth?

We each come to Sacred Kink from different places on our journey.

Some of us have had a moment in the middle of delicious sexual exploration that led to connecting with the divine, or having had an epiphany about life that was far from expected. Others have been drawn to the possibilities of finding universal truths between the sheets or in the extremes of the dungeon for all of their lives. Some are aware that their bodies hold the key towards knowing their spirit, but don’t know which doors of desire to unlock. There are those that are drawn by the academic possibilities in the crossover between sex and spirit. Still others have glimpsed the limitlessness of existence where they have been told that only debauchery lives, and are looking to go back for more. This and more is Sacred Kink.

This term comes from two concepts that are often thought of as opposites in the culture-at-large. By Sacred, I am referring to the things we find holy, full of energy, spirit, passion or universal truth. It is the things our higher selves knows to be valid, true, useful or valuable. By Kink however, I am referring to the great big world of sexual adventure that lies outside of lights-off missionary-style sex. This includes voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetishism, fantasy role-playing, cross dressing, erotic power exchange, swinging, naughty sex and BDSM. In turn, BDSM (sometimes called S&M) refers to a series of partnered concepts: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism, and erotic slavery and mastery.

This is a very broad list of concepts, and clearly, their intersections vary greatly. If these concepts are new to you, please find the glossary in Appendix 1 that will help guide you throughout this book. If these concepts had you nodding your head at every single one and recalled a happy memory with each—welcome home, my friend!

Wedding the concepts of Kink and the Sacred seems difficult for mainstream faith and sexuality, but Sacredness and Kink have been partners for much longer than most people are aware. The tools of Kink have roots that go back into Shamanism, Christian monasticism, Hinduism, Buddhism, and other religious/spiritual paths of seeking wisdom and faith around the globe. In turn, explorations of the Sacred have been loaded with sexuality in a wide variety of spiritual traditions, even if it is only alluded to.

Sacred Kink is an awareness of long-used tools and techniques used in sacred exploration that have been taken on by oftentimes unaware erotic adventurers. It is using modern tools of sexuality for exploring the spirituality and energy. It is the moments of glimpsing something more when we only expected getting sexy and sweaty. It is finding sexual awareness between the breaths of the prophets. It is anywhere the Kinky and the Sacred intersect.

There are many other terms for this work. These include:

  Deborah Addington, author of Fantasy Made Flesh, refers to this work as exploring Erotomancy.

  Qadishti BDSM is the terminology used by sexuality educators and pagan clergy Dan & dawn for incorporating sacred sexuality and energy work into your BDSM scenes, and the dramatic effects possible therein.

  Sado-Erotic Ecstasy was coined by Chris M. as a way to explore all that is spiritual and kinky.

  Leatherman and Metropolitan Community Church theologian Master Skip Chasey refers to this journey in many ways in his work, including becoming artists in PsychoSpiritual Energy and the calling of being a Priest in Black Leather.

  Shamanadom was the terminology developed by Sacred Marks Sanctuary for transforming sexual activity and BDSM into a practice that transcends the physical into the spiritual, and exploring the spaces in between.

  Michelle Belanger, author of The Psychic Vampire Codex, speaks of this work as Sado-Shamanism, where the Top or Dominant can act as a conduit for the energetic journey of their Bottom or Submissive using the tools of BDSM.

Do not be fooled. Though it may come in the forms of play, sensual exploration, and bliss, this is the work of our souls. This journey has the potential for turning the flax, the straw, of our beings into the gold of our potential.

True, not all explorers of Kink are looking for profundity in their sex games. Some are quite happy tying their lovers down to a bed for a night of strawberries and whipped cream, and others are there because their body hungrily calls for connections that make their cunts wet and cocks hard. But even in those interactions sometimes things happen, things we cannot explain. Moments of depth and delight that become a key to things we’d locked away. Thus, even the most fun of kink games has the potential for becoming Sacred Kink. If this has happened to you—breathe. It’s okay. You are not alone.

Others are drawn towards Sacred Kink as a tool for personal exploration: a scheduled scene specifically built to dive into the self and come out changed or informed of something the universe has to offer. And then there are those who are called to this journey as a full path for their own life—those who have chosen Mastery as a way to serve the divine, those who have come to understand that channeling their archetypes in erotic exploration can empower them in their day-to-day lives, and use these tools as a full practice and for personal devotion.

All three—those who have found accidental sacredness in their kink, those who use the tools of Sacred Kink only on occasion, and those who are called to follow a specific path of sacred truth through their kink—will find information in this book that is of value to them. For those that are simply curious about what all the fuss is about, wish to examine the intersections from a theoretical framework, and are wondering, really, are people tapping into the universe and personal connections to spirit through erotic sex games…Welcome! You may be surprised at what you’ll find, and the tools used consciously and unconsciously that have existed since time immemorial.

How to Use this Book

In your hand is a tome. There is a lot of information in it, and it may not all match what you are looking for. It may seem overwhelming. Or you may be excited to read every last page. Either way, remember to pause, process, and absorb.

There are many choices on how to read this book. You can flip through the whole book and find everything in italics at the beginning of each chapter—the erotica. Each path features an erotic teaching tale in three parts to help those who learn through erotica understand how the technicalities of what we are discussing applies to actual scenes.

Perhaps you are an academic and have no interest in such things. Each Path has a Traditional Tools section as well as a Kink Tools section, exploring techniques that have been used by classical sacred explorers and modern erotic adventurers in turn.

If you just want information on your subsection of desire, flip back to the table of contents and see which titles catch your eye. If you do this, please also make sure to read the first two chapters, as the discussions around negotiation, desire, and the why of what we do are incredibly important.

And you can, of course, read the book cover-to-cover.

For consistency of voice, some stylistic choices have been made in this book. This includes but is not limited to capitalization of all appearances of Top, Bottom, Master, Slave, Dominant, Submissive, Journeyer and Guide whenever they appear to differentiate between these labels and the nouns, adjectives or descriptors they resemble. In some cases, Slave has been written in lower case at the request of the individuals whose quotes appear in the text. The stylistic choices and definitions within this book are my own, and are not necessarily representational of the Kink community-at-large.

At the end of the book you will find a series of Appendices. Appendix 1 is a terminology and definitions guide for many of the major concepts brought up in this text, to explain how I am using some of these concepts in the course of this book. Appendix 2 is the essay by Raven Kaldera that inspired this project. Appendix 3 is an essay that I felt needed to be in the book but did not fit well inside the chapters that explores leather as not only a material, but a spiritual concept. Appendix 4 is a collection of places to go from here—more books to read, events to attend, groups to join, online discussions to explore and more. Appendix 5 is for all those who are classical students at heart—a series of essay questions for each chapter, to use for truly diving deeply into the book or forming a study group with your friends.

Now that you know better how to use this book, let’s continue on the journey!

Why Eight Paths?

When exploring the multitude of routes that individuals use to find ways out of our day-to-day mind, it is easy to see why so many different systems have been created to understand the variety of experiences we have. Sacred means many things to many people, and in examining the Sacred, we are each striving to create a lexicon for that which is beyond words. It can be a very difficult task. How do we explain our experiences after we have come back from a place where words were no longer necessary?

In Hinduism, the experiences of the sacred are often broken down into the triadic approach of the Trimurti. We gaze into the eyes of Brahma and see creation manifest. We thank Vishnu in all his magnificence for maintaining the structures of our world. We praise Shiva, fearful lord of the Ganges, for being the power of destruction in the world that in turn allows creation to come anew. Triads can also be found by looking at the variety of experience with Christian tradition—Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for example.

Some prefer exploring our sexuality in the number four—Earth, Air, Fire and Water play into Sacred Kink well—the Earth of boots and surrender, the Air of breath play and single tails, the Fire of wax and spanking, and Water of blood and piss. There are also the 4 S’s of sexual slavery to consider—Submission, Seduction, Service and Surrender.

In the Feri tradition, brought to modern light by Victor and Cora Anderson, the Iron Pentacle is an amazing tool for breaking down discussions of sacredness, and is easily adapted to kink and alternative sexuality as well. Sex, Pride, Self, Power and Passion light up our bodies, laid out as a pentacle running in the direction of the waters in our veins. However, my examination is not about Three, Four or Five. These powerful numbers hold great meaning, but in the exploration of the sacredness found within the desires at the edge of social normalcy, the number that kept recurring for me was Eight.

Raven Grimassi in Wiccan Magick speaks of the Eight-Fold Path representing the traditional aspects of magickal and religious training that must be mastered in order to become a Magus. The Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism describes the way to the end of suffering, as it was laid out by Siddhartha Gautama, more commonly known as the (historical) Buddha. Dr. Timothy Leary’s Eight Circuits of Consciousness explore the ways we process the world through our nervous system, and how specific chemicals can affect our ability to access those circuits. Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra from 200 C.E. explores an eight-limbed path that brings completeness to the individual as they find their connectivity to the divine.

But none of those eightfold paths called to me as I was exploring the varieties of sacred exploration we do in BDSM, kink, and adventurous sexuality. Then, an essay by Raven Kaldera came across my desk, The Eightfold Path to Altered States of Consciousness. (See Appendix 2). It struck a chord for me, even if I disagreed with some of the points he made. These notes of internal discord led me to something more valuable than being handed awareness. It made me go fishing for my own awareness. Thus, Raven’s work made me start looking at my own thoughts on the issue.

In Kaldera’s article, the order the paths that tended to manifest or be encountered within Northern Shamanism were:

  Path of Meditation (a.k.a. Path of Breath)

  Path of Ritual

  Path of Rhythm

  Ascetic’s Path

  Path of Sacred Plants

  Path of the Flesh

  Ordeal Path

  Path of the Horse

In my own investigations, I have found that these eight major paths to altered states of consciousness appear not just in shamanism or magic as they are often discussed, but in almost every sacred, religious, mystical or esoteric path I have encountered. They just don’t discuss it in this exact language. They see the eight paths through the filter of their own cultural primary path, including Asceticism in the Noble Eightfold Path, Sacred Plants for Dr. Leary’s work. I take a peek at each of these other eight part systems at the end of each Path in turn. There are other paths that are not included in the above eight such as the Path of Madness, by which people obtain enlightenment through mental illness, or the Path of the Thief, by which gnosis or personal power is stolen from another, such as in the tale of Raven stealing the Sun. The large bulk of Sacred Kink experiences can be broken down into those eight paths, or in Blended Paths that combine major elements of each.

Altered States of Consciousness

Before we dive into each of the different paths, I think it is important to look at what an altered state of consciousness is, why we go into them, and what we do once we are there.

An altered state of consciousness (ASC, also known as altered states of awareness, or simply an altered state) is a state of consciousness that differs significantly from the baseline or normal consciousness. It is argued that an ASC is traceable by looking at the brain waves or brain states of the person experiencing them, but EEGs and MRIs are imperfect tools for such things: sneezing, coughing, being in a coma, and thinking about the color red will register as non-normative brain waves, as brain waves are what are registered by such machines.

Altered states can come about accidentally through such things as traumatic accidents, fever, meningitis, sleep deprivation, deep diving, and oxygen deprivation. Most of us have also experienced moments where we have missed an exit on the freeway or lost time because we were petting cute kittens (kitten trance), both forms of accidental ASC. But in the case of Sacred Kink, using altered states deliberately is of far more interest than those accidental states.

What is a baseline or normal brain state? Baseline or normal can be defined as having both a psychological sense of self, and that sense of self is identified with one’s body. Thus there are two major categories of altered states of consciousness: those where we lose connection with our own body or perceptions, and those where we lose our sense of self-identity (going into nothingness, universal oneness, not being being ourselves any more, etc). There are other states of consciousness such as being in the zone, hyper-focus, and more.

Every single path laid out here is a different route along the journey to altered states, a different way to reach the top of the mountain or the bottom of the well. But the real question is not how we get there, but why we want to get there in the first place.

Why the Quest?

Each person has their own reason for wanting to go into altered states of consciousness, but the overarching reasons can be broken down into a number of general categories. Understanding the reason why you or someone you are negotiating with wants to enter an altered state of consciousness will help everyone makes decisions involving how to explore Sacred Kink. Which Path should you take? What activities, kink or otherwise, do you want to engage in? How much investment will each person devote to the work? What is their perspective on the work?

Ritual S/M is edge play directed to the purpose of attaining altered states of consciousness, of traveling beyond our habitual perceptual screens to another way of being in which everything becomes special, extraordinary, brilliant. Goals for such a scene might be a quest for guidance, or a vision, the pursuit of personal truth or understanding, or the experience of spiritual communion for its own sake

- Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt, The Topping Book

By learning what we and our partners are looking for when exploring altered states of consciousness, we can also help craft the types of Sacred Kink explorations we want to go on together.

Good Times

That’s right! Some people enjoy exploring altered states because it’s enjoyable. That’s okay. In fact, for many of us, it’s more than okay. Enjoying life is part of living. There are many ways and reasons to have a good time with ASCs.

These include:

  Relaxation

  Hyper-focus on a sensation or experience

  Reaching Sub or Top space

  Fully engaging our neural network

  Having personal permission to feel emotions and sensations fully

  Enjoying a wild ride

How many of us don’t get enough of that in our lives? The opportunity to lean back in a lover’s arms, or drift off into nothingness and finally let our shoulders drop can literally be a lifesaver for the over-worked and over-taxed. For those that tend to go through life without direction or drive, altered states can provide the opportunity to focus all of life into the experience of a hand brushing along our thigh or a lash landing on our skin.

Both of these directions, along with a bevy of other descriptions (many of which you will see listed below), also fit into the categories of Sub space and Top space in the world of BDSM. Sub space describes the altered states that a Bottom (receptive partner), Submissive (submitting partner), or Slave (serving or dedicated partner) goes into when they are fully experiencing their receptive, submitting, or serving nature. Top space describes when a Top (giving partner), Dominant (willful partner), or Master/Mistress (authoritative partner) goes into when they are fully experiencing their giving, willing or authoritative nature. This journey can be profound, but it can also be considered for some a form of good times.

One of the reasons that so many of us are attracted to altered states is because it is an opportunity to engage our neural networks in ways we usually do not. Our brain takes in two to twenty million bits of information a second, and yet our active mind processes only eight to thirty of those pieces of information (depending on whose study you read). It’s why we do not tend to notice the temperature around us, the clothes we are wearing, or how fast our heart is beating unless they become outside the norm. By engaging our neural networks fully we can be present and notice things that usually elude us, which can be enjoyable.

And yes, it’s a fun ride. Sometimes, doing these things just to do them is a way to live life, feel something new, and not be bored with the journey.

Stepping Away from the World

Living in this world can be hard. For those of us living with fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, or numerous other painful body experiences, it’s not about when we get to choose pain like other people engaged in BDSM and Kink—we live with pain every day. For those who live with mental or social challenges, these tools provide an opportunity to tap into other routes for self-focus, self-expression, and connecting with ourselves and others. The difference between these unchosen experiences and the activities of Kink that have been consented to is just that—consent.

Altered states of consciousness can be an option for stepping away from our bodies or the world. These tools have been employed for millennia, before there was anesthesia to allow for surgery and other medical practices to take place. In addition, harnessing altered states allows for those who need to endure pain for other reasons, such as pushing themselves to more extreme levels, trials of innocence in traditional cultures, etc.

Having the opportunity to step out of ourselves can also allow us to control our experiences by not having our experiences control us. Whether we are conflicted, have broken our leg, or are suffering from loss, bearing witness to our journey can allow for perspective that we might not otherwise have. Classic therapy tools such as breathing through the pain to then look down on the pain are a basic example of using the Path of Breath for just this sort of work.

Complete detachment from the world (known as Kaivalya in Hinduism and Jhana in Buddhism) is this concept taken to a lifestyle level. Instead of bearing witness to one moment by being in an altered state, the practitioner removes themselves from the cycle of suffering and pain while still living by remaining aware of the experiences learned by bearing witness in an altered state.

Connection to a Partner

For some of us, altered states provide an opportunity to connect with partners, lovers, friends, and family (by birth or by choice) in different ways. This might be a depth found in shared experience, a connection between souls, or an expression of love brought about by literally being in a different state of mind. Trust can be built by one individual helping create the experience for the other, or by going on the journey together. Be forewarned—sometimes this reason for engaging in an altered state needs additional negotiation and finesse. Unless all involved are there for that reason, misunderstandings and hard feelings can arise.

Within Kink, the use of altered states can allow for exploring erotic control as well as dominance and submission. Especially for those who are interested in surrender, not just submission, stepping out of our day-to-day mind is the only way to fully give in to our desires. We have been taught that egalitarian relationships are the only way to love and thrive. These journeys into different relationship styles provide an opportunity in such cases to turn over leaves of the soul that might otherwise be obscured, showing the depth and power available through such exchanges.

Exchanges also take place between individuals in the form of energetic feeding or transference. Whether referred to as psychic vampirism, refilling of chi through personal connection, or some similar act or experience, altered states can allow for this passing of energy and power from one person to another. Either the giving or the receiving partner may find it necessary to engage in an altered state to get this need or interest met. This practice is one where I encourage full disclosure, as the giving partner needs an opportunity to consent to such activities, and the receiving partner has the possibility of creating bonds of attachment that need to be thought out.

Seeking Change, Healing, and Personal Identity Work

We can be our own obstacles for creating change in our lives. By allowing us to approach thoughts from a different perspective, altered states allow an opportunity to get out of our own way. Whether we are examining our own Ego, Superego or Id from a detached place, or opening up locked or concealed thoughts and feelings from our past or present, this has the potential for truly life changing work. But be forewarned: it is work. Sometimes, in opening up the locked closets of our memory or emotions, we may find thoughts and feelings long-forgotten. They are likely to take time and energy to process and understand.

Beyond looking at ourselves, altered states can also allow us the opportunity to literally reprogram our identity and being, examining past wounds, assumptions and habits. If we find something there we need to face, we open up the ability to rearrange our own internal furniture. This is not to be taken lightly. Moving a couch is one thing, knocking down walls in our psyche is another.

By forging the soul in the fire of our being, known as Distilling the Gold of our Spirit in Hermetic practices, we have the power to change our resonance and vibration of being. Altered states have been used for years by hypnotists and some forms of therapy, as well as by shamans, priests and mystics to help individuals overcome feelings such as fear, trepidation, paranoia, shyness, or social conditioning, to face taboos, or do seemingly simple things like stop smoking.

This often works better when in an altered state, because what is said by the Guide, hypnotist, shaman or priest has the ability to reach a deeper core level and be heard more by the brain of the Seeker or Journeyer. This can be positive, such as when someone wants to stop smoking and is ready to do the work but just needs to be encouraged. It can also be potentially negative, when a Guide says something argumentative or purposefully hurtful to the open and waiting mind.

These tools have been used by tribal cultures, the military and frat boys alike to create initiatory experiences where a person is left no longer the same, inside or out, afterwards. They have also been used by mental health facilities, prisons, religious interrogators and individuals to create a space for atonement for past wrongs (real or perceived), allowing the individual to move on in life with a clear conscience.

Astral/Energetic Work

Whether you experience it as going into your own subconscious and tapping into your personal truths, or as journeying out of the body to other parts of reality and bringing back knowledge and wisdom, astral and energetic work using altered states can have a variety of outcomes. For some people this is part of the good times category. For others this is a profound experience that can change a life or be part of a regular spiritual practice.

Entering an altered state has the potential to create the ability in waking time or normal reality to palpably feel and experience vibrational fields, energy and auras, or see non-corporeal beings such as spirits, ghosts, and other entities. For others, being in that altered state is the only way to have those experiences. For shamanic practitioners, astral work allows for such activities as recovering lost pieces of their own soul or that of a client. For ceremonial magicians, astral journeying can lead to finding information that enables spell-working.

For individuals living with bodies that do not match their interior experience of themselves, astral journeying has the potential to allow them to spend time as their true selves. Whether transgendered, transsexual, intersex, vampiric, therian, otherkin, physically disabled or otherwise, this can be a gift beyond value. In addition, for individuals wanting to explore the potentials of their astral body, altered states can help enable them get to the other side of their own existence, and spend time exploring what it is like to take on transformations of their being, from becoming their ideal human self, to being a tree or disembodied being.

There are also those who use altered states to do energetic work such as collecting chi, prana, energy or life force from the world around them. By connecting to the ambient energy, city life, sacred sites or open land, they can feed themselves. Whether they are charging a spell, healing an injury, or making up some need in themselves, this can be useful for some, but inappropriate for others. When feeding off of people, for example, there are those who almost get energetically addicted to specific places or situations. This is even more true for those who feed off of individual people or dramatic situations. It is important to gain permission or paid some energetic fee to do so, and only take what is needed at that time.

Connection with a Divine force or the Universe

Whether it is called Goddess, God, the Universe, Great Cosmic Muffin, greater will, the divine power(s), spirit, or Maker, many individuals have experienced or long to experience a connection with a higher power or consciousness. Almost all forms of connecting with the divine are enabled or deepened by altered states. This can be as simple as getting that tingle from knowing that the divine exists and you know it in your skin, to something like erotic connections directly with deities and universal will.

Known as Ifran in Islam, there is the connection with the intimate knowledge of the universe. When going for specific information that the universe-at-large holds, this is sometimes referred to as accessing the Akashic Records. Sometimes gaining knowledge with a divine source can involve making deals or coming to arrangements with spirits, deities and other beings, all of which are facilitated by some form of altered state.

Becoming part of the Universe on a deeper level is also a recurring theme brought about by altered states throughout world faith. Chassidic schools of Judaism refer to being absorbed into God’s Infinite Light, while Union with God is a theme known as Theosis in Christianity, Henosis in Neoplatonism, and Brahma-Nirvana in Hinduism. Meanwhile, Te in Taoism and Satori in Mahayana Buddhism both speak of the intrinsic connection to the world-as- a-whole.

But for some of us, the knowledge of the divine can be found using altered states of consciousness within the confines of ourselves. Feri practitioner T. Thorne Coyle refers to the work of Self-Possession, drawing down one’s own archangel or divine spark that is part of our soul to find out what the Self has to say. This can come in a less esoteric but no less profound way in the form of the epiphany, when knowledge that we intrinsically knew all along suddenly jumps into crystal clarity, usually through having experienced some form of altered state of consciousness. We can also have experiences where in the silence of letting the world fall away, we give ourselves permission to actually hear what our unconscious mind has been trying to tell us all along.

You, too, are a Psychonaut

By consciously engaging in altered states of consciousness instead of letting them appear in our lives when we trance out on accident, we become psychonauts. Translated from Greek as a sailor of the soul, a psychonaut has the power to investigate their own mind, body, and spirit through stepping sideways and looking at their self through a new lens. We can do things that we never dreamed possible, or unveil understandings about ourselves and the world.

Psychonautic practices, as well as all other forms of exploration using altered states of consciousness, can be dangerous. This work is not for the tame of heart, nor the unprepared. Altered states of consciousness, individuals are susceptible to input and ideas, as well as the possibility of becoming aware of previously known truths for which one may not be emotionally prepared.

How does that apply to kink? We hear all the time about individuals who have found themselves blissed out after an intense flogging, or after hours of sensory deprivation, pledge their undying love to a near-stranger. Other people come out of intense S&M scenes having expected only a good time but instead experienced something profound that changed the way they perceive themselves or the world around them. We are often unaware that by engaging in the use of tools as old as humankind’s quest for altered states, we can come to the same results as our ancestors—visions, dreams, truths, and a life forever transformed. By breaking the boundaries of ordinary reality through our explorations of kink, we have the power to step out of normal and into the altered, the extraordinary.

Tales as Old as Time

In the following chapters we will take an in-depth look at the Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond. Not only will we investigate how individuals into modern primitivism, kinky sex, leather identity, Dominance and submission and other practices explore these paths using the tools and paraphernalia of the sexually adventurous, but we will also take a step back and see where these tools and traditions came from.

Rhythmic dancing and body movement have transformed lives for millennia. Flesh hook and flagellation ordeals are not a new invention by the fringes of eroticism. Using sexual touch and ecstasy to awaken us to the possibilities of the world runs in our collective unconscious, ready to be used again.

For those of us in kink approaching the Eightfold Paths, the order of introduction to these concepts tends to come differently than the average magical student who will often journey in the order listed previously. Their journey makes sense for the average magical student. Breathing and Meditation, along with self-examination and understanding stillness (the baby steps of breath and meditation). This is followed by Rituals where we repeat the same visual, audio and physical acts over and over again are seen as comfortable ways to engage in the list of paths.

The order for many in BDSM, fetish and erotic exploration is not about being comfortable. It is about exploring life head-on. It is about what we, as adventurous beings, are likely to encounter when we enter the candle-lit bedroom, the dungeon, or the community event. We rarely begin breathing quietly with a guru or Guide. We often begin our paths moaning and screaming, on our knees or clad in leather boots, praying with our bodies and opening up to our fears in the loving space of those we cherish.

For this book, I offer not the list and order for the Eightfold Paths provided by Raven Kaldera, but instead the Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond, a roadmap to Sacred Kink. Know that not all of us are intended to explore every point along the journey, just as not all of us are meant to visit every corner of the world. The order we will be exploring the various paths to access Altered States of Consciousness, Energy and/or Gnosis are:

Path of Rhythm

Use of repetitive body motion, touch, noise, or visual cues

Ordeal Path

Use of purposeful and intentional pain, suffering, challenges, endurance, or pushing an individual past or through their perceived limits

Path of the Flesh

Use of input from tactile, sensual, sexual or ecstatic body experiences

Path of Ritual

Use and repetition of visual, auditory, olfactory or kinesthetic cues, rites and activities

Path of Breath

Use of breathing techniques, voluntary, and involuntary air flow

Path of the Horse

Use of Invocation, Evocation, Shapeshifting, and Horsing

Path of Asceticism

Use of minimization, purification, restriction, cleansing and stillness

Path of Sacred Plants

Use of specific plants, herbs, strong drink, chemicals, and other external inputs

When reading about each Path, know that there is no strict order in which they should be followed, and no Path that is better than any other. Some individuals are called to one path more than another, or to different Paths at different points in their life. You may be called to a specific tool, to a path for a day, a year or a lifetime.

As you begin, remember to read Chapter 2 so as to have a better understanding of negotiation, consent, aftercare, passion, compassion and your next steps forward. By creating this groundwork for the path, you will be better equipped for the adventures ahead.

As a note, not everyone is called to only one path. In fact, you may heed the calling of a primary path, but have a secondary or tertiary path that you engage in from time to time. Others will be called to some sort of blended path, such as:

Path of Denial

Path of Asceticism + Ordeal Path

Path of Sensation

Path of Rhythm + Path of Sacred Plants + Path of the Flesh

Path of Symbols

Path of Ritual + Path of the Horse

Path of the Warrior

Ordeal Path + Path of the Horse + Path of the Flesh

Path of Meditation

Path of Breath + Path of Ritual

Path of the Mystic

Path of Sacred Plants + Path of Rhythm + Path of Asceticism

Throughout this book we will be examining the core eight paths, a filter for examining a wide variety of journeys through spirit, magic and the sacred. This is not an all-inclusive list. Others paths like the Path of Madness, the Path of the Thief, and other perspectives, are valid as well.

In addition, while examining this system of filtering I found numerous other eight-part systems and perspectives that were useful to consider within the base context of different primary paths. Thus, at the end of each Path there will be alternate options and ideas explored as a jumping-off point for seeing how other individuals, philosophies or faiths have filtered and categorized the world. All of these maps and systems are imperfect, including my own, but many may be useful as you examine your own quest.

Bright blessings on your journeys ahead!

Chapter 2

Crafting Your Journey

Sacred or Profane is in the Intent

Anything can be sacred or profane depending on intention. Anything. Individuals on pilgrimage to the world’s holy sites might find themselves bored, snapping photos for back home or busy looking at their smart phones. Others see the face of the Divine while smiling at a flower or getting their ass spanked. It is not about the tools that are used, but the intent that is put behind them. Thus the exploration of Sacred Kink is the exploration of the sacred: sacred experiences, sacred moments, sacred truths and understandings. Kink is simply the lens we are exploring it through, the set of tools in the toolbox of our lives.

Do not confuse method with message. Just as kneeling and rising in a Catholic church does not equal a true longing to connect with Christ, neither does being engaged in a lifetime of intensely energetic sexual service practices equal the desire to connect with a greater power. Both prayer and sexuality are tools. Every tradition uses different tools, and no tool is any better than another. Any tool can also be used in a different context: getting up and down from your knees can be performance art, and sexual service can be a way to have co-dependent desires met.

When setting out on a journey using the tools laid out before you, the first question you must ask yourself is why you want to do it. Is it because it’s fun? If you find yourself saying yes, then own it. Is it because you want to deepen your connection with a partner? Then say so. Are you doing it just because a partner asked you too? Be honest and open with yourself about it. If you are hoping to connect with the universe, do astral journeying work, or energetically feed, you need to have that be clear as well. Clear communication with the self is important when exploring the world of Sacred Kink.

Not everyone comes to these practices for the same reason. Just because an act is holy, sacred or intimate for you does not mean the person you are engaging with feels the same way about that act. Do not assume that they share your spiritual leanings, your faith, your religion, or your terminology.

Let’s take a brief moment to define a few terms:

  By Faith, I mean belief or trust in a person, idea, thing, or outcome.

  By Spirituality, I mean our understanding of matters of the spirit, human nature, purpose, connection to reality, and our place in it.

  By Religion, I mean an organized approach to spirituality that involves specific beliefs, practices, symbols and stories that can provide meaning to someone’s experiences of life, divinity, and ultimate truth.

The eight paths laid out in this book appear in some form in every major religion worldwide. Rhythmic drumming. Rituals of prayer. Monastic asceticism. BDSM and Kink are rarely intended to be a detour from spiritual exploration, and it is this concept that has led to so many misunderstandings between organized religion and what individuals do in the privacy of their bedrooms. Our erotic explorations have the potential not to separate individuals from their spiritual journey, but act as yet another tool in that journey. This can be outside or within the context of a religious framework, to pursue individual spiritual development.

It is okay to have more than one perception, language or framework for your life experiences and personal truths. If you have lived it, names are not even necessary; names and definitions tend to be what draw the lines between individuals, groups, and societies. The reason for this is that when we come back to ourselves and to normalcy, having been somewhere where no words, names, or definitions were needed, it can be difficult to accurately explain our experiences.

If your religion holds power and truth for you, embrace it. If your spiritual practice has power and truth for you, embrace it. If your kink and BDSM hold power and truth for you, embrace it. They are all tools. They are all opportunities for different frames of reference. And they all have the potential to be sacred or profane.

Negotiation for Sacred Kink

In all forms of erotic play, communication is key for a satisfactory—let alone phenomenal—experience for everyone involved. Standard points that are discussed in all forms of kink include the physical health and abilities of everyone participating, their mental and emotional state, and their desires and fantasies around the the activities involved, it is important for standard negotiation as well, from safer sex practices to how well someone can tie rope bondage.

Negotiation is slang in the kink communities for the process of coming to consensus as to the activities, roles or responsibilities of all partners involved in a scene or relationship. Some individuals may be turned off by the language of negotiation as it might infer an adversarial dynamic or emotional sterility. If this is the case, think of the word negotiation as being open dialogue, creating a shared reality, or active collaboration. In this chapter we will be using the word negotiation, and you are encouraged to translate accordingly.

Some people enjoy sharing their likes, dislikes and other thoughts on the activities to be involved, while others like giving open-ended statements like "I want to