Forgiving My Daughter's Killer: A True Story of Loss, Faith, and Unexpected Grace

By Kate Grosmaire and Nancy French

Forgiveness is possible even in impossible circumstances.

On March 28, 2010, Kate and Andy Grosmaire received two pieces of news that would change their lives forever. 

The first was their worst nightmare: “Ann has been shot.”

And the second was the dumbfounding addendum: “Conor was the one who shot her.”

Their nineteen-year-old daughter had been killed by her boyfriend, a young man who had lived with the family and had come to feel like part of it.

In a beautiful, tragic testament to the liberating power of forgiveness, Kate Grosmaire tells the story of her daughter’s murder at the hand of her boyfriend—and the stunning, deliberate forgiveness and help that Kate and her husband offered to the young man who shattered their world.

Part memoir, part spiritual testimony, Forgiving My Daughter’s Killer is the story of a family whose faith was put to the test and so found the capacity to do far more than they could have thought or imagined.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: Mar 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9780718041526

Kate Grosmaire

Kate Grosmaire became an educator about Restorative Justice after her daughter was killed. She and her husband are the cofounders of the Ann Grosmaire “Be The Change” Fund, a charitable fund to promote forgiveness and restorative justice practices. Kate lives in Tallahassee, Florida.

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Reviews for Forgiving My Daughter's Killer

[lisasharvey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

FORGIVING MY DAUGHTERS KILLERA True Story of Loss, Faith, and Unexpected GraceKATE GROSMAIREWith Nancy FrenchMY RATING ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️PUBLISHERThomas Nelson BooksPUBLISHED March 15, 2016A poignant and thought-provoking book that plants the seeds of the restorative justice process and honors a daughters memory through forgiveness. SUMMARYThe ring of a doorbell on that last Sunday in March changed Kate and Andy Grosmaire faith-filled life forever. That was the day their beautiful daughter Ann, was shot by her boyfriend, Conner. Ann clung to life in the hospital for five days before she passed away. During those five days the Grosmaire family not only received, but also gave amazing grace. Remarkably, the Grosmaire's were able to forgive Conner for his action against Ann. Kate met with Connor four days after Ann was shot and told him that they loved him and forgave him. "We don't define Connor by that one moment of his life. There's no way to understand a persons essence by judging one moment of his life. if we define Connor only as a murderer that would mean defining my daughter only as a murder victim."After Ann's death, and as Conner's trial date approached the Grosmaire's decided to pursue restorative justice. In a typical criminal case, the the victim and the offender never personally interact. But this was different. They needed to talk to Conner. With restorative justice a facilitated meeting was held with Conner, his family, the Grosmaire's, the attorneys and a member of the community. Conner had to acknowledge that he killed Ann. The Grosmaire's told Conner the story of what Ann's loss meant to them. They had Conner answer questions about why he did it, and how it happened. The Grosmaire's identified what restitution they wanted to see Conner do in the future and recommend sentencing time frames for Conner. Restorative Justice is different because it allows for the Grosmaire to begin the healing process by being heard, and for Conner to truly understand the impact of his action that horrendous day in March. "Ann was an incredible young woman, and I wasn't going to let one dark moment overshadow her life. I had to let go of anything that would hold me in that dark place-which meant forgiving Connor. Who would want to be defined for the rest of their life by the worst thing they ever did?"REVIEWThis story is amazing! The Grosmaire family is amazing! If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I might have found it hard to believe, but I have known Kate and Andy through our church for several years. What parent can forgive someone who kills their child. An impossibility. But Kate and Andy found the strength and courage with Gods grace to move beyond one of the worst days of their life. Not only to move beyond, but to turn it into something positive for Ann's sake. This book eloquently documents the facts of that dark periodKate's writing is impeccable. The book flows as fast as a river and is an inspiration to read. From the moment the doorbell rang I was sitting on the edge of my seat. Kate interjects just the right amount of emotion, fact, background, personal information and scripture. The restorative justice portion of the book is extremely informative and thought-provoking. I was so sadden by the way the restorative justice meeting in this case was concluded. The State Attorney's Office total refusal to discuss Conner's sentence was abrupt and unnecessary and showed a lack of decorum and failure to buy-in to the process. Regardless, I hope, that this book will serve as motivation for moving restorative justice forward in Florida and elsewhere in the U.S. Thanks to Net Galley, Thomas Nelson and Kate Grosmaire for a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.