Always In My Heart

By Laura Lamberti

A new born baby’s mother, Adelaide, suffers from postpartum depression after his birth; the decisions taken by his father cause him pain most of his childhood and far into his adult life. Adelaide’s depression drowns her in its tidal wave of darkness and her husband’s decisions leave her helpless and without hope. Lies, neglect, betrayal, rejection and secrecy add to this little boy’s pain ... yet he always feels that his mother is in his heart and not far away from him, as if an invisible cord is binding them together. If only he could see her face! Through a series of serendipitous events, the young boy, Graham, now a grown man, discovers the real truth about his past, and his pain; about the tragedy of family lies and secrecy, but also about the power of hope.

Based on a true story, this book conveys the oppressive and damaging effects of betrayal and secrecy. "What a man sows that shall he also reap"; nature itself teaches us that this principle is true. A farmer cannot change his crop after he has planted a seed. If he plants wheat, wheat is what he will get, even if he later hopes and prays for potatoes! If we as human beings sow seeds of discord, if we lie and cheat, we will never reap the fruit of happiness or respect.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Laura Lamberti
• Release date: Feb 28, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310769764

Book preview

ALWAYS IN MY HEART

By Laura Lamberti

© Copyright 2014 Laura Lamberti

Smashwords Edition

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The preface

As a child, I did not realise a great drama was playing out before my eyes. It was only when I was much older that the impact of what happened filled me with great sadness. In fact, it left me heartbroken. I have had a yearning to write this story for years so that my children and their children will have their eyes opened and not allow a generational pattern – I will go as far as to call it a curse – to operate in our family any longer.

Out of respect for my grandparents, I have not used their real names. This is a true story and seen through the eyes of childhood memories, yet I must confess I have used my writer’s pen to embroider facts here and there!

There was much secrecy in the events that followed the birth of my father, and, from watching the events unfold in his life and hearing the stories he told of his childhood, I have learnt that secrecy in families can be oppressive. In fact, it rots the soul. Secrecy leads to one lie after another, as, sadly, people become addicted to their lies; this leads to distrust and, in fact, stains the pages of their lives, as this story will clearly illustrate.

BUT GOD causes supernatural encounters and reveals all we think is hidden and will never be found out. His word says so in Luke 8 v 17:

"For nothing is secret that shall not be made manifest…"

What has gripped me about my paternal grandfather and grandmother’s life is the principle:

"God is not mocked. What a man sows that shall he also reap." Galatians 6 v 7

This verse is the essence of my story.

Nature itself teaches us that this principle is true. A farmer cannot change his crop after he has planted a seed. If he plants wheat, wheat is what he will get, even if he later hopes and prays for potatoes! If we as human beings sow seeds of discord, if we lie and cheat, we will never reap the fruit of happiness or respect.

My heart is for families! The thought of a child growing up without his own mother is heart breaking! But this happens to many children; it is a reality of life.

There is more to inheritance than money (it helps!), but my aim is, and has been, to impart to my children and grandchildren a rich inheritance of a loving, caring family, who can laugh together, cry together and pass down wonderful happy memories, while living out moral and spiritual values, something money can’t buy - this is indeed a rich inheritance!

Unfortunately, this was not the loving inheritance my father, Graham, received from his family.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to a grandmother

Whose absence left a little boy’s heart broken;

And a longing for her that influenced his whole life.

ALWAYS IN MY HEART

Chapter one

To everything there is a season …

A time to be born

Adelaide felt the twinge of a contraction; this was her third baby, so she recognised the pain for what it was. Where was Edward? He had promised to be home by today.

Sudden panic overwhelmed her. How could she have her baby now, with no one to help her? This couldn’t be happening to her! Should she call some of the staff on the farm to go to the next farm for help? Babies can take hours to be born. She must stay calm, and maybe the baby would only come tomorrow.

Lienie! she called out from the kitchen door, hoping that the house help would hear her and respond to her call, but to no avail; so she spoke gently to her eldest son, a boy of six. Thomas, I want you to run up to Lienie’s house, and ask her to come and help Mommy. Be quick, my boy.

The little lad, glad to help his mom, sped off in the direction of the huts a few hundred yards from the main house on the farm.

Lienie and Thomas arrived hand in hand, smiling and talking in a broken Afrikaans and a mixture of English; an occasional laugh was to be heard. A flood of relief swept over Adelaide at the sight of her maid and dear friend. They had shared many things, two women alone in a farm house for most of the daylight hours.

Lienie, I have started labour; you must help me. I don’t know where my husband is. Please, Lienie, you must stay with me tonight, so if my baby does decide to come I won’t be on my own. I am scared! Let’s get Thomas and Rosa bathed and ready for bed; they’re too young to see the baby being born. Thank goodness that they have had their supper. It’s getting dark. I’ll light some lamps.

Before the bath water was drawn, Adelaide knew she had done the right thing in calling the Hottentot maid; she was going to need help. She was slumped over the back of the sofa, the labour pains gripping her body as it tried to expel the baby.

Lienie, eyes wide, gave her one look and knew she had to get the children to bed as quickly as she could and prepare for the birth. She had helped many Hottentot women with the births of their babies, so she felt quite confident. Her own husband was at home with her four children, two of whom were already fully grown. He had spoken to Thomas when he had come to call her, so he would know that there was an emergency of some sort.

Miss Adelaide, you go to the bedroom and I will see to Thomas and Rosa.

Lienie took one of the lamps and went into the bathroom.

Adelaide went to her bedroom and pulled the covers off her bed. She had a mop of long dark hair down to her waist; her hair was her crowning glory in the real sense of the word, and her hair had been what had first caught Edward’s eye. She quickly tried to put her hair into a single plait to keep it out of the way; she was already sweating profusely with each contraction. Pain overwhelmed her and she had to wait for the contraction to pass before she could complete the plait.

Rosa was five and yelling, I want Mommy; come, Mommy, tell me a story. Thomas is naughty; he pinched me.

Adelaide tried to shout back as loudly as she could. Be good for Lienie, both of you. I’ll come just now.

She hoped that between contractions she would be able to muster the strength and say a quick goodnight to her first two offspring. They did not bear Edward’s name as they were from her first marriage, which had been a disaster.

Adelaide’s mind went back to the day she had told her parents she was leaving George. They had sensed some problems, but her mother had said, Marriage is for keeps, Adelaide. You are going to stay with George and work out your differences and not disgrace this family.

She initially dared not tell them that George had met somebody else and had told her adamantly that he no longer wished to be married to her. Her heart was broken; she felt betrayed and totally rejected by George. She was determined to start a new life of her own with her two children and do whatever it required to be a loving and caring mother. These two little souls would not suffer because of George’s indiscretion.

More pains.

Lienie, where are you? I am going to need you soon. Two hours had already passed since Thomas had called Lienie, and the contractions were getting closer.

Lienie arrived with fresh linen, and organised the bedding for a delivery. There was a single bed in the room as well as the double bed. Adelaide found it easier